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Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by UFO the Phoenix, Dec 7, 2005.

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  1. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    Zero replies

    This is an S.O.S to all poets
    Please response…………………………
    Its cold outside
    However the things indoors
    Bring chills to my bone
    What’s going on?
    Zero replies…?

    …. That’s like a naked Christmas tree
    …. You can’t be serious
    …. That’s like 4 taking the day off in July
    …. You can’t be serious

    Must be winter break
    Where dreams freeze and shatter
    And frustration becomes delirious
    I’m not even going to mention
    The last minute lunatics
    I can’t stand traffic or crowed Wal Marts
    I’d rather stand and imagine
    And admire the random wall art
    Poetry has always been the human landmark
    Its what the aliens or robots will read
    To try to understand us
    But zero replies?…makes work seem unimportant

    …. You can’t be serious

    I must be in the wrong business
    I must be over sensitive
    I’m going to get to the bottom of this
    Once and for all starting with me myself and I
    I guess this rage begin with my own selfishness
    My Christmas list is longer then my shopping list?

    But isn’t that normal in this egotistic society?

    HELLO?!?!?!…. Are you even listening to me?

    No wonder its so cold outside
    I’m talking to dead air

    (Can anyone hear me out there?)

    They say:

    “It’s just that time of the year”

    Where on Mother Nature’s period
    (No wonder there was a Tsunami the day after Christmas)

    Nothing changes…. so you get the same results
    I hope your prepared for future chaos

    Poets have put in blood sweat and tears
    Unfasten hidden access to their broken hearts
    Unlocked all thoughts faced all forgotten fears
    And how is this mighty act repaid?
    Their words fall on frozen ears

    Out of complete laziness they say:

    “It’s just that time of the year”

    Besides why should I care if they get slept on?
    I’ve got my 12 replies of B.S.
    (Baloney statements)
    DO I REALLY CARE?
    Well yes
    What happen to the spirit of giving?
    What happen to the birth of Jesus?
    What happen to the universal healing?
    Does December carry a different meaning?

    It’s all about ME…(remember)
    ME….MY…WANTS….
    And NEEDS….MUST be meet
    By any means necessary
    Like Malcolm X
    I won’t buy YOU a Christmas gift
    Unless you get me this this and this

    (Oh don’t forget that new ipod I need that also)

    This is an S.O.S to all poets
    A random distress single
    From the Bermuda triangle
    Does anybody out there care anymore?
    test
  2. ChyllTyrant

    ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist?

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Messages:
    792
    I’d rather stand and imagine
    And admire the random wall art
    Poetry has always been the human landmark

    ^beautiful man.

    (No wonder there was a Tsunami the day after Christmas)

    ^wow.

    What happen to the birth of Jesus?

    ^to my understandin, he wasn't born in december. it's just a symbol. the 24th was originally the roman "saturnalia".

    i don't participate in christmas, and i rarely apply to poems...
    so maybe this wasn't for me.

    but it struck me as a poignant call to arms for all writers.

    the topic, wasn't as played out as the title supplied with me reason to believe it would be.
    it's about giving, when giving isn't necessary.
    it brings up thoughts of how expectations can be too high.
    it's about giving, when giving isn't always got. and how it should be about giving to those without, is overlooked, isn't the point. the point is this is the emotion society puts us in.
    and expectations are NEVER met fully.

    good looks on the read.

    check out "the meaning of winter", it might help this emotion out, if your really experiencing it.
    well, not totally. so don't go into that thread with "too high of expectations".

    PEACEKI
    test
  3. Lord RAH

    Lord RAH Grandeur's illuminant

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2002
    Messages:
    740
    Hey man why is this sleep on {ME ME ME ME ME ME}

    I mean this was excellent {Baloney Statemnt}

    Really original topic{Baloney Statemnt}

    I really liked the rhyme scheme {Baloney Statemnt}

    LMAO....Big Ups for this
    test
  4. Koban4max2

    Koban4max2 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    140
    i like the theme..good one.
    "it's me. me me..."
    test
  5. Clarksvegas_Dan

    Clarksvegas_Dan Registered Voter

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    767
    I guess this rage begin with my own selfishness
    My Christmas list is longer then my shopping list?

    ^^^You said it. Or as Shakespeare would say, Ay, there's the rub. In fact I may just have to write a little something about this. Thanks for the inspiration.
    test
  6. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

    Joined:
    May 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,173
    Ok so ...I'm not saying this is a bad poem or that I dont like it at all or anything but honestly I think this is definately definately not your best peice, and I didnt like this coming from you at all. Just my opinion though...
    test
  7. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023

    It's the message getting heard, that's all that matters.

    yeah oddie, don't know where that came from exactly. It has to do with the "actions speak louder than words" thing I've been on all day. We read a poem and recycle it, meaning it stems a thought of our own, or just gives us that extra push to actually write it. Anyhoo, to your poem.

    Some parts further into the poem I wasn't really feeling, I guess it's my views on things but

    Must be winter break
    Where dreams freeze and shatter
    And frustration becomes delirious


    ^I like this little part because it's not really a winter break in general to me. We all need a break from some things in life but we handle our business regardless. And since I'm talking this year Christmas isn't even how it used to be back in the day. It's all about getting gifts, worrying what am I going to get for this person and that person, or ohh I need to hurry and beat the traffic, blah blah blah. WELL, I'd rather be with family and I'm fine, don't need any "gifts." YET I do shop for those b/c the gift actually means something when I'm giving it to them. IDK I'm trippin, or maybe I am ungrateful for the big things. Who knows.

    If that was a baloney statement well, I'm not done talking about your poem.


    Once and for all starting with me myself and I

    You know how some people say its not good to be selfish? Well how do you distinguish if its selfishness or if its just being generous-to yourself? If you're a selfless person constantly giving and giving, where do you draw the line?

    Random thought here, but it made me think about that.

    “It’s just that time of the year”

    I remember somebody saying that. Anyway keep writing.

    -Much Love
    test
  8. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Messages:
    436
    been a long time Ufo !!

    nice man not the deepest thing i've ever read fun you but still very entertaining. its been a while since i've be able to read any poetry but my own.

    is this really still a problem i remember it being so when i was around and thats been a moment ah well nice fam

    stay up and God bless all
    test
  9. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    4,076
    man poetry has been draining alot out of me lately
    it just feels everytime i try to write or reply i just get nothin but migranes

    ever since i was senior in high school
    this is all i wanted to be...poet/lyricist
    but then i didnt feel i really had the edge of a lyricist
    so i became a die hard poet
    all over the net,its been extremely hard to find any respect at all
    ive found the most recognition and respect in this site
    a poet has got to be one of the least respected professions.....period

    definitely the least respected part of this site is poetry
    they all say "well anyone can write poetry so why do yall think your important?"
    psssh....immaturity at its best....

    and i was definitely feeling the egotists society comment
    damn right about that
    when ever i go somewhere
    especially this time of year
    people behave so selfishly
    "me first,me first"
    "i got somethin important to say,and yall dont"
    exactly....thats exactly how the customers have been acting at the store where i work
    they take so much for granted it really turns me off from society as a whole
    i get in moods where i dont want to say anything to anyone for days at a time...
    at first i didnt want to read this but once i did it was actually pretty insightful and had a lot of good points in it
    people are always so busy rushing from one thing to another(me included)
    that we never stop to savor what we do have
    its all about what we want
    never about what we need

    sorry about ranting i guess i got off of topic
    anyways

    nice job with this drop...
    test
  10. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2000
    Messages:
    26,748
    Not written to the best of your ability that I know..but the message is there and I am feeling it. It seems like a few messages that interrelate and I"m feeling them all.

    "We're on mother nature's period"

    ^^hehe I liked that

    I liked your message. It's one worth listening too and it's truth on a lot of levels. Feeling the emotion in this...has really got it going on.
    test
  11. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,308
    I could have sworn i replied to this poem last week sometime or at the beginning of this week i cant remember.....anyhoo

    to make a long story short....this was a dope piece.....everyone can relate cause its straight wack how no one shows each other love on the realm anymore like they used to.....yaddah yaddah yah....strong piece.....keep em comin


    mad love
    test
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