YOUnique or THEYnique?Choose Now.

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Truf DX3000, Feb 3, 2009.

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  1. Truf DX3000

    Truf DX3000 Problem of Environments

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    Youique or Theynique?
    01. WHY? WHY? WHY?!
    WHY THIS? WHY THAT?
    DO THE ANSWERS EVEN MATTER ANYMORE WE ASK?

    02. BEWARE! QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY QUESTIONS AREN'T ANSWERS TO THE SURE?

    03. I ASKED THEM QUESTIONS. ONLY TO FIND THEY WERE THE "WISER" WHEN THEY FLIPPED IT, THEN ASKED IT DIFFERENTLY WITH SLICK WORDS!

    04. THEY STAY EASILY SWAYED, BACK AND FORTH THE WORDS THEY SAY FLOW FORTH DEFORMING LINES LIKE A SHORE.

    05. WHO IS SO SURE?
    THE LEADERS SEEM SO, TIL OTHERS QUESTION THEIR CERTAINTY. THEN THEY START TO LEAVE WHAT WAS BELIEVED TO BE WHO THEY KNEW THEMSELVES TO BE. WHY WERE YOU FOLLOWING?

    06. HATED YOU WILL BE FOR WORKING HARD TOWARDS BEING A GREAT HUMAN BEING.
    WOW! LOOK HOW THEY DOUBT WHO YOU ARE NOW!

    07. WHO THEY SAY YOU ARE! ARE YOU ONLY WHAT YOU WERE BORN INTO, OR PRESENTLY WORTH?! OR WHAT YOU DESERVE? !

    08. LET THE DEFINITION OF POTENTIAL BE HOW YOU DEFINE THE WORD.

    NO DIFFERENT THAN MANY IS HE THAT IS STILL UNSURE OF HIS PURPOSEFUL COURSE. IT IS A FACT THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN PLENTY FLOATING IN THE SEA OF UNCERTAINTY.

    09. IF YOU ARE SURE, THEN FLEE STEADY AND FREE. BE TOTALLY WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE, EVEN IF IT IS ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS, IT IS STILL YOURS TO SEEK. WITH MY OWN EYES I HAVE SEEN THEM ENVIOUSLY TEASE WITH FEAR, BECAUSE "YOU-NIQUE" AND TRUE YOU PEACE WITH PURITY, DETERMINED TO BE INNOCENT, NAIVE, AND GUILT FREE.

    10. LOOK! HERE COMES EVEN MORE OF WHAT THEY THINK. DON'T YOU LINGER LONG AT ALL UPON THEIR ON&ON THOUGHTS.

    11. THEY ARE ENDLESS LIKE YOUR IDENTITY IS WHEN YOU LEND ATTENTION AND LISTEN TO THEM, ONLY TO SWITCH, AGAIN AND AGAIN. THEY BLEND IN, INFINITELY BASED ON THEIR WORTHLESS TWO CENTS AND SENSELESS "APENNYONS" SINCE THERE IS NO SENSE OF ENDING, NOR DEFINITION OR EVEN DIGNITY KEPT WITHIN THEM TO DEFEND AGAINST YOUR PERSISTENCE!

    12. YOU WILL END, IF YOUR START DEPENDS ON WHEN THEY SAID YOU BEGAN.
    WHO ARE THEY TO SAY ANYWAY? !
    IF THEY KNOW, WHY WONT THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE?
    OR EVEN LET YOU KNOW?

    13. THE FOOLS WONT EVEN GIVE ONE CLUE TO YOU. THEY DONT HAVE ONE, LIKE...UMM...
    THE DIRT JUDGING THE MUD YOU ONLY STEPPED IN ONCE.

    14. THEY SAW YOUR OFF WHITE SNEAKS HEAVILY BLEACHED AND RINSED CLEAN WITH A MIND OF PEACE.
    THOSE SHOES WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE RENEWED AGAIN. THEY WONT EVEN LET TIME FORGET THE INVISIBLE IMPRINTS YOU LEFT IN THE DISTANCE.

    15. DON'T NOT MOVE, IN ORDER TO PROVE YOU'RE "TOO" STRONG TO MOVE ON.
    CONFUSED IS THE ONE WHO ASSUMES THAT CONSTANTLY DEALING WITH THEIR LOVERS ABUSE IS KEEPING A NEVER GIVING UP... EVER... FOR NOTHING... AT ALL ATTITUDE.

    16. " DIDN'T YOU FAIL THOUGH? WE SAW YOU FALL AND NEVER GET ALL THE WAY BACK UP?",THEY WILL CRITICIZE. I SAY, TO THEM YOU MUST CONFIDENTLY REPLY,"YUP! I CHOSE TO CRAWL SO THAT I MIGHT RELIEVE MY BACK. YOUR PRIDEFUL STANDING HAS WEAKENED YOUR SPINE. WHERE TO MAKE YOUR NEXT MOVE IS NEVER YOURS TO DECIDE. MY BAGGAGE IS NEAT AND TIED TOGETHER NICE. HUMBLY CARRIED ON MY BACK THAT IS SUPPORTED BY ALL FOUR LIMBS. IF SLOW IS MY SPEED ON HANDS AND KNEES, HOW CAN IT BE I LEAD? AT THE HEAD OF MY OWN PATH I AM ALWAYS A KING ."

    17. IF SOMETHING IS ALLOWED TO BE TAKING FROM ME, MAY IT BE ONLY A PIECE OF ME THAT I AM UNKNOWINGLY GIVING. THE FIGHT IS STRONG IN THE WRONG! BLESSED BE THE WISE SIDE OF THE RIGHT, WHO SEEM WEAK KNOWING CERTAINLY WHERE THEY BELONG.
    TRUFDX 1:1-17

    I been reading the bible recently and i wanted to write a poem in the style of it...these are only inspired by my situations and experiences.
    test
  2. Poetic Concept

    Poetic Concept New Member

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    I thought this was a great poem,however it was very difficult to read I had to keep starting over until I copy and paste it and changed the caps. I mean you ahd so many crucial thoughts and your deliveries weren't forced or challenged by your writing style.

    "BACK AND FORTH THE WORDS THEY SAY FLOW FORTH DEFORMING LINES LIKE A SHORE."
    "THE DIRT JUDGING THE MUD YOU ONLY STEPPED IN ONCE."

    "IF SLOW IS MY SPEED ON HANDS AND KNEES, HOW CAN IT BE I LEAD? AT THE HEAD OF MY OWN PATH....(great) I AM ALWAYS A KING ."(you could have said so much more)

    anyways good write hoping to see more from you on here
    test
  3. Truf DX3000

    Truf DX3000 Problem of Environments

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    i appreciate the feedback so much, you dont now how much this piece means to me, i really felt an urge of inspirational insight when i wrote this having one goal in mind: To Relieve the Pressure Off Anyone Being Told How To Live By Another Imperfect(naturally selfish) Human....
    I really wish i could change the caps*...if anyone knows how i may do so to make the read better, plz tell me...
    Truf Fully Spittin Up
    * I Spaced Out the "Verses" so Theyre More Distinct, Hopefully.
    Keep In Mind: A Whole Lot of Patience and Thought Was Put Into This Piece.
    Being Patient and Relaxed is Needed to Read This W/O Backtracking Too Much, Believe Me...It Still Plays De'javu with My Eyes When I Read Over It. Sorry...
    test
  4. AlexG

    AlexG World Wide Poet

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    like the first guy says, the all caps make it hard to read... but I really enjoyed it... especially how you rhymed alot of the words... you used alot of multis... nice...
    test
  5. Urizen

    Urizen I hate humans

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    ok I liked this to the point I didnt even look at the rhyming anymore
    I just went from line to line, and your words at times
    SERIOUSLY felt like I could have said them as this topic
    had twindled in my mind for a while now, and I must say you did a
    awesome job no lieing

    I didnt really get the whole numbering thing
    but from begining to end you kept a steady pace
    and you maintained a nice vocab and you displayed your own style
    throughout this WHOLE piece

    got nothing else to say but good job
    test
  6. Truf DX3000

    Truf DX3000 Problem of Environments

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    Uppin For More Critique/FeedBack...ive replied to every poem on page 1 and dont want to post any new poems til i know what i can do better as a writer...especialy from the mods always loved their thoughts...Thanx
    test
  7. Black Liquid

    Black Liquid New Member

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    02. BEWARE! QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY QUESTIONS AREN'T ANSWERS TO THE SURE?

    03. I ASKED THEM QUESTIONS. ONLY TO FIND THEY WERE THE "WISER" WHEN THEY FLIPPED IT, THEN ASKED IT DIFFERENTLY WITH SLICK WORDS!

    that was the best part right there. kinda hard to read with the structure and all the caps though!

    Q = A
    A = Q

    seeing isnt believing, believing isnt seeing......

    W O F T D
    -Liq
    myspace.com/blackliq
    twitter.com/blackliq
    WOFTD

    *New* Black Liquid - Liq St8 Of Mind *New*
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    test
  8. Truf DX3000

    Truf DX3000 Problem of Environments

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    Skoolya's Reply

    SkoolYa
    Thanx Mayne
    test
  9. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

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    I love this one

    I should print this out and keep it with me. I wish I had the confidence to put it up in plain view for them to see. Thank you for writing this. When I can't be strong it helps to know that there are people that can be strong for me.
    Persephone
    test
  10. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    i agree

    I stopped paying attention to the format and it was easier to read. There are some good lines and alot of truth.( 06. *) good job ^
    test
  11. Nasty__Ness

    Nasty__Ness The Queen of Topicals

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    I liked this piece. I could see it as spoken word. I sort of didn't mind the caps because I thought it gave a more powerful punch to your thoughts.

    I think my favorite way #13. But then I liked a lot of them.

    It shows that this wasn't rushed and thought out.

    An if you have Microsoft word you can paste it in there, go under "Format" and select "Change Case"
    test
  12. Nasty__Ness

    Nasty__Ness The Queen of Topicals

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    With the change of Caps...


    Youique or Theynique?

    01. Why? Why? Why?!
    Why this? Why that?
    Do the answers even matter anymore we ask?

    02. Beware! Questions answered by questions aren't answers to the sure?

    03. I asked them questions. Only to find they were the "wiser" when they flipped it, then asked it differently with slick words!

    04. They stay easily swayed, back and forth the words they say flow forth deforming lines like a shore.

    05. Who is so sure?
    The leaders seem so, til others question their certainty. Then they start to leave what was believed to be who they knew themselves to be. Why were you following?

    06. Hated you will be for working hard towards being a great human being.
    Wow! Look how they doubt who you are now!

    07. Who they say you are! Are you only what you were born into, or presently worth?! Or what you deserve? !

    08. Let the definition of potential be how you define the word.

    No different than many is he that is still unsure of his purposeful course. It is a fact that there are more than plenty floating in the sea of uncertainty.

    09. If you are sure, then flee steady and free. Be totally who you choose to be, even if it is only in your dreams, it is still yours to seek. With my own eyes I have seen them enviously tease with fear, because "you-nique" and true you peace with purity, determined to be innocent, naive, and guilt free.

    10. Look! Here comes even more of what they think. Don't you linger long at all upon their on&on thoughts.

    11. They are endless like your identity is when you lend attention and listen to them, only to switch, again and again. They blend in, infinitely based on their worthless two cents and senseless "apennyons" since there is no sense of ending, nor definition or even dignity kept within them to defend against your persistence!

    12. You will end, if your start depends on when they said you began.
    Who are they to say anyway? !
    If they know, why wont they leave you alone?
    Or even let you know?

    13. The fools wont even give one clue to you. They don’t have one, like...umm...
    The dirt judging the mud you only stepped in once.

    14. They saw your off white sneaks heavily bleached and rinsed clean with a mind of peace.
    Those shoes will never have the chance to be renewed again. They won’t even let time forget the invisible imprints you left in the distance.

    15. Don't not move, in order to prove you're "too" strong to move on.
    Confused is the one who assumes that constantly dealing with their lovers abuse is keeping a never giving up... Ever... For nothing... At all attitude
    .

    16. " Didn’t you fail though? We saw you fall and never get all the way back up?”, they will criticize. I say, to them you must confidently reply,"Yup! I chose to crawl so that I might relieve my back. Your prideful standing has weakened your spine. Where to make your next move is never yours to decide. My baggage is neat and tied together nice. Humbly carried on my back that is supported by all four limbs. If slow is my speed on hands and knees, how can it be I lead? At the head of my own path I am always a king."

    17. If something is allowed to be taking from me, may it be only a piece of me that I am unknowingly giving. The fight is strong in the wrong! Blessed be the wise side of the right, who seem weak knowing certainly where they belong.
    test
  13. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    I really liked the cleverness of it, or did i? I got a good laugh at the bible commentary at the end as I can relate, or can I? Did I even read this thread or did I not enjoy it? I did and I did. =) Ah its fun, seriously though. Good to see something Younique (see what I did there) ha, ahh good job.
    test
  14. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    A little hard to read, but definitely worth the time effort.
    test
  15. Truf DX3000

    Truf DX3000 Problem of Environments

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    this poem means soo much to me and you guys(girls esp;) replying means even more...its so hard to live this way i must say thats why in psych wards and care centers i must stay...but i dont want to change when others can relate...Thanks Again last up from me..
    test
  16. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

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    No way you're stayin' in unless you're lettin me come with you!!!!
    You're favorite enslaved goddess (I hope) ;)
    test
  17. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    lol I can see you re-writing the ten commandments or some shit lol. Good job lot of thought went into this.
    test
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