You get a long good with your S/O family?

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Mr ExZ, Jan 3, 2010.

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  1. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    ill show up at her house and walk inside and just hang out with her parents watchin tv for 20 minutes before she even knows im there

    will go over n drink beer n watch football with my girl pops on sundays

    theyr like my familly im 100 me and dont fake the funk around them at all

    what about yous?

    you like them, dislike them, have to still be fake around them?
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  2. Imperial1

    Imperial1 For pressed ones only

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    I always got along with my ex's family. They treated me like family. They even encouraged me to drop their sorry ass excuse of a man family member of theirs who happened to be my s/o at the time.

    Imperial1
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  3. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    ^lol wow...but yeah same here & vice versa we all got along well whether my family or his. Only thing as I looked back me & his mom were probably the most closest. He used to always say her & I were so much alike. She was the one who warned me about his ways & sure enough she wasn't exaggerating. Still to this day I'm close w/ his parents & his ppl. He hates it.
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  4. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Hell no can't stand them but get along with them for my wife sake.
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  5. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    in the past, all of my ex's families have LOVED me. and my family didn't like the person i was wit.

    now...

    my family LOVES my husband and right now his family and I aren't getting along. I'm nothing special in their book...and on the verge of really really really hating my mother in law.


    word of advice to the people that ever consider marriage in their futures:

    when you marry someone, you also marry their family. their families issues will become your issues. and that's 100% real talk. think twice!!!
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  6. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    well i learned to turn my feeling off for them. my attitude is the hell with'em i'm not fucking you i'm fucking your daughter. they mad at me cause i don't hold my tongue and i don't put up with their bullshit and i'm done dealing with their issues. so what they say to me falls on death ears. i let my wife deal with that bullshit. everytime i met them halfway they found away to shit down my back so fuck'em.
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  7. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    forreal? why yous buttin heads?


    and u say think twice, does that mean u have regrets?
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  8. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    @ Rip: 100% feel you. My husband gave me permission to stop giving a fuck, so that's what I do. I'll be glad when we move then I won't have to deal with them in any capacity. period.

    LoL.

    Imma try to keep it short... When my husband and I got married, we eloped. He thought it would be romantic, so that's what we did. When we told my mom and my family, they were happy for us, congratulated us, and showed love. His mom threw a hissy fit, locked herself in the room, and kicked him out of the house. We've been married for over a year and to this day NOT ONE single member of his family has told us "congratulations" or "we're happy for you."

    Before we got married, me and his mom were hella cool. Whenever me and Him had problems I could call her...we texted each other all the time. We were cool. After we got married, she gave us the silent treatment saying "What about ME? You took my glory from me."

    Since then, I've tried my best to bring our two families together. When me and my dude moved into our apartment, I hosted a dinner party. I went out and spent like $200 on food and liquor just to feed both of our families. I cooked a huge meal, bought flowers to set the table, everything. my family shows up and we're sitting around waiting for his family to show up. I call his mom like "yo where are yall at?" and she tried to play like she was sleeping and was like "You're gonna hate me. We're not coming".

    It's been shit like that since we got married. She disses us all the time. and NOW that my husband is in the military she hits us up for money all the time, and she complains about how He doesn't call her and how He doesn't love her and shit. Like we were at her husband's birthday party [this is when my dude was away at Basic Training] and some people were like "Oh how's Mont?"

    she goes "idk, he doesn't even care about us anymore. Sam gets a phone call every week and I hardly talk to him. He got married to her and its like we don't even exist". So I look at her after she says it and I go "well if you like him so much why didn't YOU marry him??"

    I can't stand her. She used to kick him out the house in highschool, and dogg him out. Now he's in the military and she's just so gung ho and proud. She walks around going "aaaww my baaaaaybeeee" in the most annoying voice....


    ugh. let me stop. LoL. i just hate her.

    to answer your second question: I know that marrying my husband was the best decision I've made in my whole life. BUT had his family acted like d-bags before we got married I feel like I would have guarded myself more. Like when she was giving us the silent treatment my feelings were really hurt. And now, because I've been hurt so many times, I'm at the point where I don't give a fuck and I'm heartless towards them.

    and by think twice I mean really think about the baggage you're gonna carry. My husband has A LOT of baggage because of his mother and his dysfunctional/fucked up family. like serious issues. and I have to deal with and try to heal/fix those issues as his wife. I wish someone had warned me about what i would have to deal with in a marriage.

    I'm just sayin, look at the cloth from which people are cut...
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  9. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    lol basically blames you for her son not calling and having anything to do with them when she really should bend her finger the other way lol. your kids are not going to do things the way you want them to do it lol. hell he could have done a lot worst things then to marry you lol. it's not written no where that you have to have your parents at your wedding lol. send her a warm cup of milk and some Twinkies for mothers day.
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  10. MyKe SeaN

    MyKe SeaN Paula Deen is my hero.

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    Hell yea...they love me..
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  11. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    damn he was still livin with his parents? lol

    and thats beat u gotta put up with that shit, is that her only child? if so i can definitely see her upset with not having a big ceremony and all that

    is his pops around?

    if not thats even more of a reason for her to be upset, not getting to walk her son down the aisle, have a dance with him

    ultimately you absolutely should do you, its your day when u get married but there are other things to consider

    parents dream and wait a long time for things like that, when ur older you dont have much things left to look forward to and she feels like u stole that from her

    totally not taking sides by the way, i can tell shes been acting like a bitch.. just flipping the coin

    my advice woud be the bigger person. randomly show up at her house when u know shes there and tell her youve been really bothered how things have been between you. you didnt want her to lose a son by his marriage, you were hoping she would gain a daughter

    just tell her how u feel and say you are going to be a family now and you dont want this to be an indication of how the future will be

    if she takes it awesome, if not you did what u can do and just write her off
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  12. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    @ Rip: that's how i feel. Then on top of that, before we got married she used to dog him out. Tell me i needed to leave her son alone because he's just like every other nigga and isn't thinkin about me. in her defense; he was fuckin up at the time. but still, she was tellin me to leave her son! now cuz he's military she acts like she's just so proud of him. where was all this pride when she was kickin him out and shit?


    LoL he was. i was living with my parents too. we wanted to get married then move into the apartment [do it the "right" or traditional way]. but when we told her we got married she kicked him out, so we sped up the plans. we moved out our parents house that same week.

    He isn't her only child. He's her oldest, but she has 3 other kids...two of whom she barely pays any attention to. And no, his dad isn't around at all [but she is married now].

    i can understand how she could have felt hurt. But, what i can't understand is her acting so childish. Even my mom admitted that she felt left out. But she has been so supportive - everyone in my family has. They have given advice, furniture, love, even money/groceries...and we get next to nothing from his side. idk why my Mother in Law would think that her actions are the way to get what she wants from us...because all it does is push us away.

    maybe i'll take your advice...idk tho...i feel like i've invested so much in trying to be cool with her and she hasn't been receptive. it's not even worth it to me. in my honest, yet bitchy, opinion: i don't gain much by her being deeply involved in my life.

    she's made it very easy for me to dislike her. idk what to do...
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  13. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Now if a mother tells you to leave her son cause he is this that and the other most of the time it's true. and being a woman she just don't want to see her son hurt you by her son.
    then you have those women that think that nobody is good enough for their son's in their eyes lol.

    at the end of the day you going to be with who you are going to be with regardless what your friends and family says. the choice is yours. luckily for you everything is going good with you and him and not going the other way.
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  14. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    ^ right. amen for that.
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  15. NwThtUKnwMe

    NwThtUKnwMe NAIVE

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    in-laws, who needs them?

    not me, take my advice, don't live with in 30 minutes of either your family or your spouse's. That way you can control how much of either you see.

    works for me.
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  16. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    we're moving to colorado next month.

    im chuckin my in-law a phat ass deuce lol
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  17. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    My spouse would have to get along with my family. Thats a pre-req for me. I have a huge, tight-knit family, that spends a lot of time together - cookouts, holidays, random gatherings & sleepovers, shoppings trips, vacations, etc - so its important that my spouse is very family-oriented and cool with my family. If you've ever seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", then you know what I mean.

    It would be ideal to have an equally cool in-laws, but I've seen that thats not always possible. I dunno how I'd handle that. When you marry someone, you pretty much marry their family, too. My married friends always warn me about that.

    If we werent talking about getting married, I wouldnt give a damn if I ever met his family.
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  18. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    i always tell my friends that too...think twice. just really think about if you can handle the baggage that comes along with that man or woman. better yet, if you WANT to deal with that baggage.

    i envy people with cool in-laws.
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  19. NwThtUKnwMe

    NwThtUKnwMe NAIVE

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    I envy people with cool in-laws too.

    My mother in law was awesome when I was dating my (now) husband, but the day we told her we were engaged, her head started spinning around and green shit was flying out her mouth. 4 years and 2 kids later and my Monster-In-Law is still here. It used to bother me, I wanted his family to be my family and I tried to figure out what was wrong and all of that bullshit. But I let it go and I don't go to see them if I'm not ready to deal with some shit (hardly ever).

    You don't really marry your in-laws, not if you don't want to.

    The whole in-law (your family and his/hers) thing can weigh a marriage down if you let it. But I doubt you'd let a good thing go just because someone doesn't see (or like) what you have.
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  20. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    ^^^ strummin my pain with you fingers. singing my life with your words.

    im still in the process of letting go of them. it sucks...my husband had a little 4 year old brother that is THE CUTEST sweetest little boy. i miss him...but i can't go over and hang out w/o having to act fake to his mom and i just don't have the energy...

    im trying to send the message to his mother that i DIDN'T marry her when i married him, so she can try and get the fact that i don't owe her shit through her head...
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