You find out the dude you are talking to used to mess with your homegirl...

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by R-Tistic, Jan 22, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. R-Tistic

    R-Tistic Your favorite DJ

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2002
    Messages:
    4,970
    My homegirl came at me with a situation that I really don't want to tell her how I honestly feel, only because I'm cool with the dude involved, but I do think it is a risk.

    She has been talking to this dude for about three months, and they don't seem to be too far from being together. She was introduced to him at her homegirl's house, who is somebody she's cool with and kicks it with, but isn't somebody very close to her at that level. The homegirl put in a good word for dude, and said that he was very cool, respectable, and somebody that she should enjoy talking to...so her and the dude got pretty close.

    A few days ago, they were talkin on a relationship tip...and the dude told her, "look...it's something I want to tell you that you probably don't know. About a year ago, me and [your homegirl who introduced us] were havin sex, but we were never talkin like that. We were just friends then, and we even had other people we ended up being serious with, and we didn't really feel each other like that, so we just stayed friends. She doesn't like telling people, so I'm sure she never told you, and she is not the type to ever be jealous, so you shouldn't worry about it at all."

    She called me later that night, basically cussing both them out to me, saying they were both shady as f'k...but I told her, biased of course, that she should talk to both them about it, and trust her homegirl's judgement. She calmed down, and said that she doesn't know if she can trust it, knowing that her homegirl considers dude to be a "close friend", and she just feels it could end up being all bad later on.

    So ladies...what would you do in this situation? Would your main concern be wondering if they would ever hook up later on, or if there are any feelings on either side?
    test
  2. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 1999
    Messages:
    14,487
    Speaking from my own experiences (because hind sight is almost ALWAYS 20/20) I would not get involved any further with the guy. It's too fresh. They couldn't have been sexing each other THAT long ago...I'd just leave it alone.

    "Thanks for being honest with me. I'd rather we just remain friends. I can still smell her on you."

    k, the last part was jokes...but that's how I'd feel honestly. Especially in a college setting - you see these mofos all the time.
    test
  3. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    This shiot is mad corny...oh my lord. maybe I'm just a different type of broad. I know this dude ... we smashed on some random heat of the moment type of shiot....but nothing ever turned out from it and we've been cool ever since. If one of my homeys was to at him and he owned up to it, thats just him being honest. I mean its been over a year ago.

    Why are people so possesive over shiot like this. Shit happens man. He was honest and it may have just been a casual thing. Ugghhh.... corny shiot man.
    test
  4. R-Tistic

    R-Tistic Your favorite DJ

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2002
    Messages:
    4,970
    ^I mean, I feel both of y'all.

    I can't even flip it on my perspective, because she kept askin me what I would do...and being that I'm a dude, it's just a lot different knowin that ya homie was hittin it with a girl you actually have feelings for, when you know he (says he) never cared about her like that, but you haven't even got there with her yet...and I admit it's all ego, but it would be hard for me at least.

    With them...my homegirl, the dude inbetween, the other girl, and the other girl's "dude she talks to" always kick it and go out, and they said there was never any signs of jealousy on either side, and she was nearly in shock to know that they had sex just because they don't act like it at all...so maybe it was 100% casual with no feelings or anything attached.
    test
  5. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    ^^^exactly.... Why should they act like they had sex ? That would only happen if there was potential for it to happen again....and that is when the concern begins.
    test
  6. Gorilla Nasty

    Gorilla Nasty I'm lame TBH

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2005
    Messages:
    10,007
    Why do people act like a certain person is the last member of the opposite sex on the planet?
    test
  7. Gorilla Nasty

    Gorilla Nasty I'm lame TBH

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2005
    Messages:
    10,007
    And secondly, people who have "casual sex" are "actual scumbags".
    test
  8. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 1999
    Messages:
    14,487
    Good question. People should expand their scope.
    test
  9. Dark_Sun

    Dark_Sun Phantom of the Forums

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
    Messages:
    5,783
    There are a lot of people in this world. But a lot of those people won't even get the pleasure of meeting someone outside a couple hundred square miles of where they live. If you take that into consideration that means that only those people who are within that couple hundred square mile radius of where you live will be the only people who are prospective mates. That's not a lot of people to choose from, relatively speaking, outta all of the fish that are in the sea. It's more like having to choose from the fish in that are in your fish tank. Now you take that small amount of people and you minus all the people who are not within your sexual orientation, family and people who are married or currently in a relationship (if you have any morals). That number is decreased dramatically.

    So I said that to say this. Yeah there are a lot of people in this world and nearby locations but the bottom line is most people settle for someone that lives relatively close to you and chances are your friends that also live close by probably have to choose from the same group of local people like you did and sometimes that may overlap. That's life. It's not a big deal.
    test
  10. R-Tistic

    R-Tistic Your favorite DJ

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2002
    Messages:
    4,970
    That's definitely part of it...and at the same time, the "birds of a feather" theory goes along with that.

    Most of us tend to hang around people that are like us...and many situations occur when friends are attracted to the same type of people, since they tend to look for the same qualities. For me, my best friend lives on my street, but we went to completely different schools, have different ideals, and have different taste in women. However, for my college homeboys, most of us seem to be attracted to the same types of women...and it's to the point that when we meet new females, we basically have to call out which ones we are on and compromise, because we'll end up going after the same female, even when it's 4-5 of them there.

    So yeah...people do always say "there are more fish in the sea", which there are...but overall, the more desirable people will always have more people on them, which leads to people fighting over the same ones...and the fact that people always want what they can't have makes it even worst.
    test
  11. Gorilla Nasty

    Gorilla Nasty I'm lame TBH

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2005
    Messages:
    10,007
    My point is that every time I see some fine ass girl, I see another fine ass girl a few days later somewhere else. So why is there a need to fixate on one person? If I tried to talk to one girl and she wasn't feeling it, no sweat because I'm bound to run into some other girl who I physically like better anyways.

    IMO, people are just crybabies and can't accept that life doesn't revolve around them. They act like bitches when every little thing doesn't go their way. I see tons of girls I'm attracted to. Frankly if you don't, open your eyes up because they're everywhere. And take it from me, somebody who doesn't go out to bars or clubbing ever. And I still see PLENTY of girls around. You make it like a 100 square mile radius is some tiny little piece of cement.
    test
  12. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    1,632
    walk away.

    first of all, she's only known dude for a couple of months, so the shit is NOT that deep. honestly.

    secondly, homie hopping is not the business. and i dunno about where she's from, but in my area, n!ggas get killed over homie hopping.

    not ok.

    im not saying that as a form of justification, or to say that my hood is G. i'm saying that repeated sex is soo not casual, which is what homegirl and ol boy engaged. then to hop over to the friend-girl? feelings are bound to be exchanged, and that's going to lead to trouble.

    not cool. that's some hoodrat shit. she needs to not be involved.

    im with Nasty. that boy she's dealin with is not the only n!gga in the world...she shouldn't want to be sloppy seconds anyway.
    test
  13. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    Deeeeum samii you from dem streets fam you from dem streets???

    LOL@ Homie Hopping!! There is a name???

    Everybody is somebody's sloppy second.... Although I'm usually the delightful first...get it gurrrl!
    test
  14. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 1999
    Messages:
    20,871
    It depends on how serious their relationship was, how long ago it occured and how close they still are.

    In this case, I would walk away... that woud be awkward as fuck.
    test
  15. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    1,632
    lol @ misskey

    im just from one big ass slum. but yes, the homie i went to HS with was shot in Nov, because he was messin with a girl that used to mess with some other cat.

    yes there was more to it, but the bottom line was he got killed over a girl. over hood/homie hoppin. that shit is an unwritten rule...just don't do it. too much drama.
    test
  16. Dark_Sun

    Dark_Sun Phantom of the Forums

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
    Messages:
    5,783
    ^Damn niggas over there act like the fucking Mafia or something..
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)