You catch an STD from your boyfriend...

My homegirl just told me a story that shouldn't be shocking in 2008, but I guess I'm just surprised because she actually told me.

She started talkin to this dude sometime in Dec., and they didn't get together officially until late February or somethin like that. I don't know when, but they started havin unprotected sex sometime afterwards I assume, if not a bit before. She kept tellin me that she wanted to take an STD test just to be safe, and she took that about 2-3 weeks ago. When she got the results back last week, it said that she had chlamydia. She said she started crying a whole lot, and was in complete shock about it. She hadn't had sex with anyone since April or May, and she had never went raw before she got with this dude. As usual, she said he was the one who wanted to do it raw the first time, even though she was scared.

When she called him and told him to come in, she said he looked kinda scared...and when the doctor told him that he had it, and he saw her cryin, he gave her a hug and was sayin "it's gonna be ok" and he said "I'm gonna take full responsibility for it, I apologize." They got some medicine for it...and they got through it.

Now my questions are.......first up, how many of you all would have stayed with dude? How many of you all would have been suspect because he was so quick to take the blame for it, as if he already knew he had something? Would you be suspicious that he cheated, or would you just feel that he got it from somebody before you?

Personally...it just sounds like he already knew he had somethin because he didn't even try to place blame on her, or even question and say "what the hell, how the hell did you get that?" Maybe that would be admitting guilt as well...but it just seems like he was way too laxed about it. I just know this was a reality check to me...and it shows me that STDs really are out there for real. She's one of the prettiest girls I know, and I know way too many dudes who want to get at her or hit it...and it's like damm, if they even knew she HAD an STD, cured or not, I'm sure they'd see her different.

What?? Do you know how many chicks YOU'VE slept with have had an STD?? Come on now... Why would you look at a girl different if she had one before. I mean if it wasn't curable than thats different....

He probably knew something was up when he got tested....or he knew she wasn't fucking around on him. Its hard to say. She better be glad it was just chlamydia!

Seems like there was some irresponsibility coming from both parties in this situation. Putting myself there I can't say that I'd just get rid of the guy because how do I know that he already knew he had it. Or wait, you didn't even say if he did have it..? If he knew all along and didn't tell me then he'd be to the curb real quick, but to get rid of the guy because we both decided to be irresponsible and have sex without protection.. that just doesn't make sense.

P.S. Girls that say " he wanted to do it raw" kinda irritate me. Takes two to make something happen, if she didn't want it she could have always opted out.

I wish more girls would take responsibility for doing it raw, because a lot of them prefer it that way... and how many have actually given or received oral sex with protection?

Unless you require your partners to go get check-ups before you do anything with them, then anything can happen... the only test for genital warts is visual and digital.

I should have added that to my first post...I didn't at all say that I would look at her different, at least not at my age...but I know most dudes would, especially the younger ones, who still see that shit like a death laced version of the cooties. I'm sure that it's a lot of dudes who would say "ehhh, she had that??? Hell nah, that's nasty as fucc, I'm cool on her" out of ignorance, just because of the stigma that STD's have.

Well I forget what happened exactly as far as the testin, but he had it, he just took the test after her..I know they said they were both negative on the HIV test.

i been wit chicks that had the Clymdia it aint dat bad juzt let them take them meds. for a few months and you straight

Yeah true... shoot. I don't wanna kiss a dude if I hear him cough too much,LOLOL.

but I feel you. I know about these std's and funny thing is.... People can carry that shit, GET TESTED, and still the test will come out negative.

Viruses are strange things.

I look at everybody as if they have AIDS. LOL. No offense.

I didn't read any of the replies so if I'm parroting anyone then o'well.

For one your friend needs to take responsibility for her part.

Unless ole' dude raped her, then there is no excuse to her not making him strap up. Its 08', people know better.

No glove no love, that's pretty much common sense now.

What would she have done if she got something that wasn't cured by some antibiotics or a shot?

The guy on the other hand, i'm going to have to agree with you. I'd put money on it that he knew he had something. I could be wrong, but him being so chill about the situation is kind of odd.

I personaly wouldn't have spoken to that clown again, but I also would have made him strap up.

Are they dating now? Does she think he's going to be honest with her through a relationship if he couldn't even come clean about having an STD?

Seems to me your friend needs to take a look at the situation and stop being so nieve.

I mean, she did take responsibility for it, even though she was cryin a lot over it. She didn't really blame him for lettin him go raw, but she said she trusted him n all the other cliche shit. I do feel the same way...she got a major wake up call from it, and this was a complete warning, because it could have been much worst and too late.

I do feel that the dude was very questionable about it. I don't know him that well, so I can't say if he's the type who has or would cheat...but since 90% of the people I know my age do cheat, and since he's ALWAYS out on the scene, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

They are still together, and she just feels that he didn't know that he had it at all. I have no idea if he did, but as I said...I just have a feeling he knew SOMETHING...like he at least heard rumors about one of the girls he was with having something, even if he never got tested or saw any signs.

man....chicks giving out clap like whitey giving out jail time


so sad

lord forgive us

give me her name so i know not 2 fuck with her

LOL...I bet if you saw her, you'd be like "damm, that's her? Well........you said she got it cleared up right? She got tested since then and it said she's clean? Iite......pass the condom....well damm, we ain't got none.....well shit...you said it's just chlamydia right, I won't die from it will I?"

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o85/funtimez5/funny gifs/giff11.gif

So in an interesting turn of events....

Long story short, he admitted to fuckin somebody else during the month that they were "talking" and "almost together", but supposedly this all happened before they made it official at the end of February. She only found out because some girl from her class added her on Myspace, and ended up callin her and tellin her some things, with some being lies, and some just being extras. Dude claims he has been 100% faithful to her since they were official, but I definitely don't believe it. I don't think it matters either way...it seems like she'd only break up with him if she caught him in the act, and although she says she's having trust issues with him because of this, she doesn't feel that he cheated with this girl or with anyone else.

woooow. Sounds like she needs to get herself a self esteem realize she's better than that and move on. Whats sad is I got a girl thats going through something similar and I can't do anything to set her mind right..

Dang..I had a friend who found out she had chlamydia after getting her regular exam done. Claims she got it from her boyfriend but at the time she was also sleeping with someone else. There's nothing in the world I can tell her to get her mind right.

I'm not sure what I would do if that was me and my situation, but I don't think I would believe he got it from someone before me, (that would be a lie, in my opinion unless proven otherwise) so therefore that would mean he was cheating, which could also mean he was lying about getting tested before, etc. etc. etc.

This reminds me of that play What's Done in the Dark

Yeah it's bad...and since I'm a dude, I feel I can't "hate" on any other dude or tell her that "yeah, it's obvious he's cheatin...I know how dudes think, I know how they cover shit up" etc. etc...but even if I did, it wouldn't matter. It doesn't really bother me either way, if she stays or not, because she's just a homegirl...but I know how females like her are. Whenever they do break up, or she catches him in the act, she'll cry for months about how "men ain't shit, they ALL cheat, they don't appreciate what they have" etc. etc. and I know I don't feel like hearin that shit.

LOL damn...yeah with her, who knows. I know my homegirl hasn't been with anybody since a year ago, but I can tell her boyfriend will f'k anything walking that gives him a chance, and she knows about 3-4 of the girls from his "past" so it's obvious.

I just think it's funny that she finds out more and more about it, and still seems to feel like "yeah, it's hard to trust him....but I'm still staying with him, etc. etc." I can't really call her stupid for staying or for ignoring signs that he's cheating, because she's not different from any other girl I know who's attached to somebody. She always talks about their long term plans, 1-2 years down the road, even though they haven't been together for two whole months...and claims she's falling in love. So you know it's no stopping that!

don't go raw until you're married to somebody you know doesn't have an std.

dumb ass people, man. *shakes head*