Yeah....

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by FukkedUPKidR, Jul 31, 2003.

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  1. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    I never knew how miniscule I could become
    When I loved someone
    That much…

    How did your fingertips, and those dry lips
    Touch me and mold me into a weak cliché.
    My aggression tore into bewilderment..
    ..One thunderous moment passed and my laughter
    Had been betrayed

    I could see the light of day through your words
    Then I heard..
    And I felt the rain, when it poured
    My pain
    …And all the hope I had restored, beat me down slowly
    Knowing every time you swore….

    Your shifty eyes always left me begging for more
    While you kissed the sky
    I admired, and adored......
    All the beauty you refused to share with me
    A bond held together by vulnerable hands..
    Nothing was guaranteed..


    ..The climax of this love story, come and gone..
    With the love, somewhere before truth
    Having been withdrawn

    And before I knew..

    I never knew..
    How easily the world would fade away
    Once you realized you were on top of it..
    Like I am….today
    test
  2. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Damn rosa, this was the best shit i've seen from you. 100% Poetry. The 2nd, 3rd and 5th stanza were my favorites. I couldnt decided which one i liked best. The imagery was flawless. Always love reading your work

    one luv
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    How did your fingertips, and those dry lips
    Touch me and mold me into a weak cliché.

    damn

    and

    And before I knew..

    I never knew..
    How easily the world would fade away
    Once you realized you were on top of it..
    Like I am….today

    u layed it on thick with this piece

    i loved it....great job

    always enjoy your work rosa
    test
  4. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
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    37,722
    like i have said so many times, you are the only person here that i can actually FEEL.....i guess its because our style is so similar......well having said that, this was a wonderful piece as always.......i cant quote anything because i was liking everything......you totally got my attention at the first line and the closing was great too.....much love ms. rosa
    test
  5. disciplestylez

    disciplestylez Broken Soul

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2003
    Messages:
    88

    wow, i am in awe...that was a great line to go with a great poem...much respect......shit was off the hook...i hope to read more from you in the future


    peace and love
    test
  6. Lil'Dragon

    Lil'Dragon [nOw iZ tHa TyMe tO AkT]

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    1,656
    Hey Rosa, im lovin the vulnerability, emotion and knowledge u poured into this. It was an effortless read, and dare i say a read well worth it. Good to see u back up in here, dont see u cruisin around much on RM no more - hope that changes soon!

    <CheK>
    test
  7. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Aww thank you :)
    test
  8. interlude

    interlude intermittent-miss

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    287
    Simply awesome
    test
  9. Smouble ML

    Smouble ML 90% In NFL Playoff Predictions

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    Jul 12, 2000
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    35,438
    Just Beautiful
    test
  10. Dark_Angel

    Dark_Angel Dark_Angel

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Messages:
    798
    i loved this peice, and agree completely with everyone else on this, imagery was great and cant decide on what to quote

    loved it
    test
  11. Perkentha

    Perkentha New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2003
    Messages:
    9
    I loved this piece esp. the quote above. nice peice keep it up
    test
  12. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Thank you everyone :) :) :) :)
    test
  13. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    Messages:
    2,245
    damn, I am becoming a fan with just one look, keep ya head up too, and almost like always, Mind~Soul beat me to what I was trying to say, lol....so good work on this piece...
    test
  14. Teen Prodigy

    Teen Prodigy Short2003's e-child

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    that was "poetic perfection" nothing was out of place, i've never read a poem that was THAT flawless. :) my respect
    test
  15. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2003
    Messages:
    1,110
    I definitely owe you for letting me read this...just read what everyone else wrote and know I feel the same way...very nice work.
    test
  16. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Thank you very much.....

    but [game] ..damn I lost about 100 of my poems because someone told the person fixing up our computer that there was nothing important on our harddrive..got me in tears, but thanks guys.
    test
  17. nOnni

    nOnni Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2000
    Messages:
    20,331
    yeah that was real nice lady, keep them coming
    test
  18. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    test
  19. Teen Prodigy

    Teen Prodigy Short2003's e-child

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    lol.. i've never typed any poem of meaning on my computer to be saved. I keep mine in a book... i think it's safer.. if i ever lost some of these poems i would cry too lol
    test
  20. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    I always write on the computer...........I just find it easier.....Maybe it's odd..but it's true.
    test
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