WTF!? "Drugs Now Legal If User Is Employed" Article Inside! Whoa!

Discussion in '420Lounge' started by Ben Official, Dec 4, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to "narrow the focus of the drug war to the true enemy," Congress passed a bill legalizing drug use for the gainfully employed Monday.

    [​IMG]

    The Drug War
    "Stockbrokers, lawyers, English professors... you're not the problem here," said DEA Administrator Asa Hutchinson at a White House press conference. "If you are paying taxes and keeping your yard tidy, we're not going to hassle you if you come home from a hard day of work and want to enjoy a little pot or blow. But if, on the other hand, you're one of these lazy, shiftless types hanging out on the street all day looking for your next high, we're coming after you."

    The new law, which goes into effect May 1, will enable police departments and courts to focus on what Hutchinson called "the real drug offenders."

    "There's no point going after some cardiac surgeon who needs some speed to keep him sharp," Hutchinson said. "That's not what the law was intended to prevent. But the more destructive drug users—the addict who spends his welfare money on crack, the guy in Harlem who smokes marijuana—that is something that we as a society must not tolerate."

    [​IMG]

    According to Drug Czar John P. Walters, the legislation should have a beneficial effect on the health of the American people.

    "As a result of this new law, we expect use of addictive, harmful drugs like heroin and crack—those statistically more likely to be linked to unemployment—to drop," Walters said. "Meanwhile, decent people with good jobs can continue their responsible use of milder drugs like E and cocaine in peace."

    Walters said the new legislation will make it significantly easier to fight the drug war. The nation's courts will not be clogged with cases involving club kids caught with "Vitamin K" or doctors prescribing Vicodin to rich housewives. More money can be freed up to build prisons to keep chronically unemployed addicts in jail and off the streets—the only statistically proven method of improving an addict's chance of recovery.

    "Clearly, a lot of people doing drugs simply cannot handle them," Walters said. "We've got to get the drugs out of the hands of these people, and give them back to the weekend user."

    The law, Hutchinson noted, will also help protect the nation's poor and unemployed, who are not as equipped to handle the effects of drug addiction as their more affluent counterparts.

    "Drugs are addictive, and that's true whether you're a ghetto gang member or a Harvard-educated entertainment lawyer," Hutchinson said. "But the cold, hard truth is, if the ghetto kid gets hooked, he isn't going to clean up in a rehab clinic in Palm Springs and maybe even become president, now, is he? That's why we need to protect the less fortunate among us with the threat of arrest and incarceration."

    The U.S. economy also stands to benefit. Initial surveys indicate that the threat of jail will motivate recreational drug users to seek employment, reducing the nation's welfare rolls.

    "Legal weed versus jail?" asked Cory Everly, 23, an unemployed Austin, TX, singer-songwriter. "I am so totally going down to the sub shop today to ask Rudy for my job back."

    Added Everly: "Rudy's my boss... at the sub shop."

    "The new American motto is 'Work Hard, Play Hard,'" Hutchinson said. "Do a few bumps of coke at your gay friend's party. Go to your be-in or your Lollapalooza rave or whatever it's called this year. But you'd better make it in to work on Monday, buddy, or you're going to jail."

    "Sorry if some of my comments have been a bit rambling and unfocused," Hutchinson added. "I'm a little high right now."

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27855
    test
  2. JiHaD210

    JiHaD210 REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,810
    its a lie
    test
  3. Affluent

    Affluent Hush

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Messages:
    3,935
    lol...the onion..
    test
  4. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Messages:
    2,717
    the onion lol... its a bullshit ass newspaper printed completely for entertainment purposes
    test
  5. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    exactly, it is hilarious.
    test
  6. JiHaD210

    JiHaD210 REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,810
    ^^^
    shut ur stupid ass up u thought it was real or some shit....


    "WTF?? WHOA!!!"

    the fuck outta here
    test
  7. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    It brung you in here didnt it?'

    Wanna fight about it?
    test
  8. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    HAHAH oh wait your the first one that posted, I didnt see that...

    It fooled you didnt it?

    Lmfao... this is comedy...

    Teh Sexy Brett: wait
    Teh Sexy Brett: is tihs legalizing pot
    Teh Sexy Brett: or is tihs just for washington
    benzdabomb73: finish reading it
    Teh Sexy Brett: Wow
    Teh Sexy Brett: Is this in effect for the us?
    benzdabomb73: lol
    benzdabomb73: didy ou finish reading the article?

    Teh Sexy Brett: yes
    benzdabomb73: so uh...
    benzdabomb73: what was your question?
    Teh Sexy Brett: is it in effect for New york
    benzdabomb73: LOL


    haha, wtf!!


    "There's no point going after some cardiac surgeon who needs some speed to keep him sharp," Hutchinson said. "That's not what the law was intended to prevent. But the more destructive drug users—the addict who spends his welfare money on crack, the guy in Harlem who smokes marijuana—that is something that we as a society must not tolerate."


    ^^ thats the best part, "the guy in harlem who smokes marijuana" lmfao

    how could u take that serious
    test
  9. Madpoet

    Madpoet why is this so short....

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2003
    Messages:
    13,474
    This is 100 percent true for denver ...up to an ounce in Denver an initaive was passed and cops cannot fuck with you for up to an ounce of recreational weed.
    test
  10. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    Thats old news yo
    test
  11. Ben Official

    Ben Official Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Messages:
    10,657
    THen again so is this article
    test
  12. Pace Beats

    Pace Beats Doesn't Feed The Trolls

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    36,508

    No they cant give you time.. they'd just give you a fine lmaosmadoa


    denver shit is so gay you gusy are still behind canada by so much
    test
  13. Hardkore

    Hardkore Blunts@TheBeach

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2003
    Messages:
    23,127
    i wouldn't be surprised if this shit ever did come into existence.
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)