Written Suicide

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by UFO the Phoenix, Aug 24, 2006.

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  1. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    Written Suicide

    (The Plastic Owl Remix)

    Beloved stranger its time to die
    personified ego inside the matchstick house
    nobody but myself can I hide behind
    analysis my life with bird eyes 360 and
    Day dreamed about being a plastic owl
    But Ray Charles prove to me you can’t fake death
    Unless you plan to be a legend
    Accepting every
    classic vile committed
    In each step of your foul blind existence
    What would moms think?
    If she saw me now
    Skull and crossbones
    In both hands taking deep breaths
    Its time to remove my shroud
    And howl at the moon
    For no reason at all

    ………………………………………


    I once wrote about a stray dog
    Lost in the middle of the street amazed
    With the line of snake cars
    We both were road kill then
    I’ve never been so real with my pen
    Even published poets
    Discover room for improvement
    And my home needs some improvement
    Unclean cloths and dusty bibles
    Fill the shadows of these four corners
    Box in my own amusement
    Park thoughts under idol foreigners
    I have no pure heart
    I love only music
    My name has been abused with
    Mix messages and a part of me wishes
    I could erase this tattoo on my right arm
    Of a faded spaceship
    I wasn’t always a saint kid
    And I’m still not
    Dusting off the chronic particles
    Off my stolen keyboard
    In attempts to cheat God
    I’ve stolen more then money though
    I’ve stolen people’s trust
    Like a glorified weegie board
    That doesn’t work
    A ventriloquist for ghost
    Who sleep no more
    Yet speak through me
    Louder then the sound of two airplanes crashed
    Into the towers of babble
    But 9/11 showed me you couldn’t fake death
    Unless you set out two birds from Noah’s ark
    To explore the sudden void
    And they wonder why
    I need the lord
    Obsessive joy with cold violence
    And hot sex
    Never learned to tame
    My rebellious soul
    And after a 40 day fast
    I just made myself hungrier for more
    I’m no better then the next man
    So here goes my suicide note
    Special request just for the ego
    Self focus microscope
    Personal letter
    Never delivered
    To the mail box
    Of other peoples hearts
    Inches away from the paper shredder
    What better way to face the truth
    Then in a broken mirror
    I’ve committed forbidden errors
    That no editor could back space
    Out of…because
    Denying myself felt childish
    My desire is greed, weed and fire
    The water boy arsonist
    Broken bird turn phoenix
    Under urban skies
    Which have forgotten what sunlight looks like
    It is time
    To leave myself behind
    A life of rapture lies
    My written suicide
    Placed inside a purple pie
    To get my creativity super high
    Then drop like a rollercoster ride
    Playing that Outkast idlewild
    With all my windows down
    What would pops think?
    If he saw me now
    I’ve been the biggest liar
    Trying to advertise the truth
    alas even strangers are sick
    Of all my good news
    And holy hooks which produce
    Nothing more then cold looks
    And question mark views
    Boxed in a religion
    I don’t really follow
    Never have I felt so hollow
    Sitting in the dark pews
    Whispering
    Tongued tied prayers never finished
    I’m confused
    Kicked out of my own house
    By my shoes
    I’ve closed my open mind
    Inside Pandora’s box
    And camouflaged all my flaws
    In a camera shot
    No realer then cartoons
    Trying to catch humming birds
    For good luck
    But I seem to always loose
    An exile mascot
    With no side to choose

    Before the game begins I forfeit

    I don’t have all the answers
    Just all the clues
    Playing hide and seek with God
    And I’m not it
    So what’s the use?
    I can’t run from myself
    Just need to accept the truth
    So why the excuse?
    No rules on you being you
    So who am I?
    Oddie Sloan
    Nothing more nothing less
    And this is not a poem
    It’s more like an imaginative road
    Over exaggerated creative suicide note
    So I can fly with the two birds that Noah let out
    And crash into a cross on Calvary
    Where the WORLD TRADED SINNERS
    In the dead of night
    And find peace in whatever I write
    So at the end of my life the angels
    Will fight
    About how I faked my death to protect
    My secret identity with Christ
    This undercover heist
    Will mystify every demon this side
    Of hell
    People will come to my funeral
    With fake vibes to match my fake lies
    To glimpse inside all my God-Spell tales
    Because my tombstone would be riddled
    With unseen words
    Except when my credits roll
    Like the Dead Sea scrolls
    Beyond the clouds
    Everyone will read
    the names of all the influences
    Behind my art
    Then I will truly be
    The supreme free soul
    Noah’s night owl cast down
    Set aflame to reign
    As a genuine phoenix
    That will burn in heaven and not hell
    So come touch my wings
    And fly outside of yourself
    test
  2. who~is~she

    who~is~she THE ORIGINAL~ILL~SISTAH

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2004
    Messages:
    234
    BOTH hated it and loved it.

    I hated it because it was kinda long and by time i got to the end i forgot what the hell it was i was reading about. And while I was reading it, I sorta felt like I was listening to you rant and rave about shit that didn't make since to anyone but you.

    I loved it because of the energy and structure of this piece. You had some areas that didn't ryme but the way one might read it, it kind of sounds like it rymes. But then by time you finally realize that it doesn't ryme at all, and really pay attention then you hit an area that does ryme, but not so much so that it throws off the flow of the piece....I like that.
    test
  3. Deaf Def

    Deaf Def Tha WordSmith

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Messages:
    1,241
    ok ok... i wasn't going to quote anything in this fuckin piece because it was so damn long... not that that's neccessarily a bad thing, because i wanted to quote way to much that i liked... but one part caught my eye that i couldn't resist
    wow... loved that part. i loved the style... i kinda didn't like how it started out not rhyming so much and then went into rhyming and then out of it and back into it, wasn't feelin that so much. i felt that it could have been better structured as far as that went... i felt that it shouldn't have rhymed so much... i like when you don't rhyme and you speak from the heart and are able to capture all your metaphores (which you're very creative in doing) in this piece. but shit man what do i know it's your poem. hands down i liked it a lot. maybe because i wrote a song called "Suicide" i dunno, but keep this type of shit up i'm lovin it.
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    "I don’t have all the answers
    Just all the clues
    Playing hide and seek with God
    And I’m not it
    So what’s the use?
    I can’t run from myself
    Just need to accept the truth
    So why the excuse?
    No rules on you being you"

    Damn man I loved those lines. It just like what I was telling you the other day before you posted this. Be yourself man, that's what got everybody liking you in the first place. Because you're not me, you're not lpoet, you're not bhitiah or allnakey. Do what you know best man. Be yourself man, that's beautiful.

    The honesty in this poem was raw man. I never see you come this personal before. Never seen you bring it to the reader's face that hard before. Except for the time when we had our little battle man. I'm glad you posted this man.

    One luv
    test
  5. poeticdreamz

    poeticdreamz Tha Dreamer

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2006
    Messages:
    78
    this was hot man but damn... you know what i'm gonna say... THIS WAS LONG AS SHIT!!! You musta had some real shit on your chest man, great drop though.
    test
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