Written for my girl, now my wife.

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by theonlyghost, Jul 13, 2006.

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  1. theonlyghost

    theonlyghost New Member

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    I wrote this a couple of years ago, 3 to be excact. I was away from home for a few months, with no phone calls, or visists, this was a letter to my girl and it was my only means of comunication at the time.

    I've seen so many of my life trials come and pass
    Now through my years some memorys will fade and some will last
    In all my days i've seen and done so many things
    and yet i may still be a young man i fear what tommorow brings
    twenty one years in age still wise in the ways of ones heart
    i look back on life with thought, and think damn i've come so far
    so with each sunrise i open my eyes and look forward to a new day
    and though some days my courage rolls away like waves
    i look in your eyes and realize your the reason i'm here today
    so when my memories wash away with the rains of ages
    i'll try to hold onto that book of life and its better pages
    you and i can walk this book together,
    walk it cover to cover even though we still remember
    relive the mement we first met, that momment marked forever
    when i think my mind could forget this life my heart always tells me never
    i often fear my mind will dissapear and i'll walk the pages lost
    even so, one day of lovin you for my life, was worth the cost.
    test
  2. awfow8

    awfow8 New Member

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    yo stay on it. i am loving this one.
    test
  3. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    Had a couple mistakes gramatically, but I can dig what you had to stay. Glad to see so many new people around. Hope you stick around.

    Bless.
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    This was a nicely written piece man. I think you did a good job expressing yourself. Some of the lines could probably use a little work though. I see you're new and I don't know if anybody has told you but we have a two poem rule. Make sure you have no more than two poems on the first page. Welcome to the realm, hope to see more from you soon.


    One luv
    test
  5. Mc_Revolver

    Mc_Revolver Rapmusic.com Audio Champ

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    where you located at ghost? anyhow that was nice good shit! seriously that was heart felt! peace.
    test
  6. theonlyghost

    theonlyghost New Member

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    I'm from the eastcoast, and no i didn't know there was a 2 post rule didn't mean to step on toes. Thanks for the replys.
    test
  7. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

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    This is a felt piece.. and it is a read of true love...cont. to be true man...Peace..6



    test
  8. Deaf Def

    Deaf Def Tha WordSmith

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    i felt most of this piece. the thought behind it was obviously good. she probably loved the hell out of it, but i guess i'm just saying i wish it was deeper, more heart felt to me personally. you'll hit some and others you wont, but always remember to write for yourself 1st and listen to others last, but always listen and you'll grow. take your time with your words and eventually the'll come to flow like conversations. move to get your voice into your words and i'm sure you'll please more than yourself. pz OnE
    test
  9. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    Damn i swore i replied to this, sorry fam i know i read it before i must have skipped the reply my bad but yo it was just as good the second time around heart felt

    stay up

    Peace
    test
  10. Diyablo

    Diyablo New Member

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    man if tha woman loses u or u lose her....life would have no meanin for u ....majorly felt.-
    test
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