Write to this Image

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Xero Satsujin, Nov 13, 2003.

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  1. DaJackle

    DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG

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    man, i really like all of these, 6ft...your diction is just beautiful, and stubs i like your abstractness...everyone else did a good job too....they all cme out great
    test
  2. TrufDXaggerator

    TrufDXaggerator New Member

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    Sep 18, 2003
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    Whew Dajackle u ripped it i liked dat ish yo.Everyone else came correct i jus was caught off guard by yo piece Dajackle.
    Im OUT
    test
  3. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
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    2,938
    The sheer diction of love lied there
    In her hands of grief
    She shed a tear of new hope
    But was only crushed by old lies
    and she planets herself in ever seed
    hoping for new birth
    But only sprung up weeds
    And she cries tonight
    In disbelieve Of her own undoing
    Wanting what the past holds
    And what the future can not handle
    Stuck in her own entity of betrayal
    And when she turned her shoulder they left
    We left
    he left
    and all the love she gave for all those years
    Vanished when she put love on hold
    for that single second
    And a tear is all she is left with
    test
  4. technikal

    technikal New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2000
    Messages:
    99
    In this rain forest i see a wet miror
    So many questions yet none are answerd
    Left in a shadow is a miror image of a tear droP
    Rolling South with no signs or lights for it to stop
    Sand papered skin is the only resistance
    A cold water fall to drown this loud silence
    But in my tears I do see light
    Cause i Know battles are never won without a fight
    So dont let go of what you beleive in
    Hope lies ahead ,so raise up your chin..........


    thats it for me.........read all tell me what u think.....this was dun in like 10 minutes..... i just want to get sum feedback...its been a while
    test
  5. Novaman: RaWKiLLa

    Novaman: RaWKiLLa New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,253
    Blood, Sweat, and ...

    I.
    When our lips touched
    My whole body was flushed
    With passion as the blood rushed
    To my head at such
    A rapid pace I could taste
    Her emotions on my face
    On the spot of her lipstick
    --Trace

    II.
    When our mouths grazed
    I became utterly amazed
    Sweat formed from the blaze
    Of desire that my body crave
    From her fingertips
    I would die a million deaths if
    It would mean I could kiss her
    --Lips

    III.
    Blood, sweat and tears
    Love, death, and fears
    Whispers fall on my ears
    My reality disappears
    Joy from the sound of her voice
    In her presence my heart rejoice
    From her touch I know she gets
    --...
    test
  6. Terrorwrists

    Terrorwrists New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2003
    Messages:
    35
    Cold frigid raindrops fall~
    Waiting impatient at bus stops~
    Fortunately to my luck, clocks~
    Shows 5:32, I make phone calls~

    Running home, kitchen perfume of pine-sol~
    Tingles my nose, newscasts of storm watch~
    Broadcasts, loud sirens & new cops~
    Start to restrain my girlfriend on the wall~

    I feel bad, cause I asked her very nicely~
    To hold my bag of tree, never known this~
    A situation, 1 super female taken under~

    Never to know, future update of society~
    She's the solution to my ugly prognosis~
    I shed tears, my fault, no future baby mother~
    test
  7. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    Messages:
    2,243
    Ohhh wow, I dont know which one to say, I mean, Nu Afrikka, you aint been here in a minute, but when you're here, your presence is definitely felt...That shit was dope...

    Nakey, I always love your work, and you are improving much, much more, especially this last couple of poems, I can relate to them in ways that nobody knows...

    Technikal, I have never read any of your works, but this one, I like, a little short, but it's on point and precise do ya thang man, do ya thang...

    6ft, I dont consistently read enough of your works, but I am having trouble understanding why right about now...That piece was nice as hell and I dont know why I dont peep all ya pieces, gonna have to make a note to do so...

    DaJackle...Utterly heart stopping and completely fulfilling, lovin it man...

    Listen2, I would like to say welcome to the Realm, and this is a good way to start your roll here. Keep it up, I"ll be watching for you...

    Terrorwrists, I was lovin this piece, it seemed a little distracted and off at first, but I read it again to make sure it just wasnt me and I saw where you was headed with it...Good stuff here, and ohh yeah...welcome to the Realm, I've got my eye out for you too...

    Last but not least, Stubbs, like I said in the intercourse, you've got a different style, but I am really diggin it...Anyway, this piece was nice...it dropped like a hot pan held in hand, but that's a good thing...

    Ohh yeah, Truf, you know you can write boy, I dont know what you tryin to pull with that! Anyway, you need to drop something in here...


    Positive. Energy. Activates. Constant. Elevation...PEACE
    test
  8. StubbilyMug

    StubbilyMug DayorDollar Records

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    Sep 29, 2003
    Messages:
    441

    you've got yourself a fan
    test
  9. Terrorwrists

    Terrorwrists New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2003
    Messages:
    35
    I appreciate the support given by xero & mug...thanks again
    test
  10. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    I figure i might as well drop another piece about this pitcure. Just wrote this up the idea popped into my head a few minutes ago after re-seeing this picture.




    I once yelled into a bottle
    Put the top on it a sealed it for a day
    I opened the bottle then a short while after
    To see if my words came back true
    But they fit the profile of a bottled up lie
    And every piece of the puzzle was lost
    Stuck outside I asked a man for help
    I asked him for a key to no where
    cause somewhere is far gone
    And the next bus don’t stop here
    He smiled and then disappeared
    A tear path made by the heavens
    Endowers My curiosity
    As I walk down the street towards it
    It seems god is sad
    And he angels can’t fly
    Dowsed In ever tear drop
    I remember the pain cast upon my lesser good fortune
    As I picked up a penny
    Which was tails down
    Falling into nowhere was far away
    Cause somewhere never left
    And another tear from heaven could strike me dead
    Or worse Bottle me up inside my own lies.
    test
  11. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    I couldnt help it...

    [​IMG]

    Yo, I had to post this shit up here because I couldnt be the only one to see it...I mean, it's just...I dunno, you tell me...
    test
  12. Vulkan'XL

    Vulkan'XL New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Messages:
    80
    Hmmm....

    I wander, Allowed to
    Kiss this reflection of my perfection?
    She is my looking glass and
    I can't percieve how she
    Stands there and moves,
    Acts, feels, seems, just like me...
    She is so graceful in this pool
    Of my mind, swimming smoothly over
    Cracks and the age lines...
    My only dream is that she wasn't
    Trapped beneath this costume
    Of skin, held there by the sins
    She created...
    I need her, but I need to be rid
    Of this vessel which brought
    Her out into the open...
    My perfection, my friend,
    I must drown your ship and sink it
    In the depths of my soul while
    The water under the bridge
    Passes overhead and serenades it
    To sleep soundly...
    These tears I cry bring you back
    And your reincarnation makes me
    Feel alive again, Alive and well...
    But I know I can only keep
    All this until the well runs dry and tears
    Wont flow, you've cut off everything...
    All of me is gone, and I am a shell
    Of my former self!
    test
  13. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    Vulkan'XL, I love the way you approached this, it's like, The Ultimate Sacrifice at the cost of self and tears...Anyway, I loved this piece, you should post it out in the realm man...see what the people have to say...

    Nakey, That piece was hot to def yo, I just never got the chance to respond to it...but yeah, you know how I feel about your work...good shit...
    test
  14. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,066
    The cascades of the nebula, keeps me puzzled,

    Wondering on the edge of space contemplating,
    The images of life’s structured. Traveling through a never-ending story,
    The beginning to end, I see hope and glory.
    Place me on a distant star surrounded by fire and gasses,
    There I can burn away my sins, no flesh to gawk at,
    Temptations surrounded in vapors spinning in space
    Inhaling pure essence of heavens own fire place,
    With no temptations of the flesh to hinder the travel
    makes for easy passage
    As I’m cleansed by the fiery void of acceptance and knowledge,
    Redemption is the next level of passage.
    I travel through the nebula,
    Beyond this realm existence is a cut above inferior

    test
  15. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    The heart a raged, bursting Into flames
    Painting the sky with magnificent colors
    A bird a free brings pain to stay
    As I looked into the fire stunted nebula
    benevolent In it’s own grace
    Let out after a life time of hurt
    Never much of a jail bird
    But Encaged In a life time of darkness
    Now shins bright of fierce decent
    Golden is it the view that caught my eye
    May I go blind the second I witnessed
    For life has forsaken and hid this beauty
    And I would rest my head tonight
    But the sky is to bright
    and I’m to afraid that this light might fade
    To see it in all It glory is Perfection
    “Fly to the moon and back
    And don’t stop there
    go far beyond this realm
    never look back”
    I say
    “cause your free now”
    “Don’t you hear me! Your free now”
    And that night I sat on the roof
    I laid upon It
    Close me eyes and flew away
    Never afraid again
    to just fly
    test
  16. speak easy

    speak easy Tits dont hop they bounce

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2003
    Messages:
    184
    i was told it was rude at first but i diddnt care
    i kept my head up and i would stare
    stare into the light and open beyond
    far from all the drama and drugs we on
    but the light lifted me thats why i did it
    i felt if i broke trance i would fall again

    so i would stand there for always and eternity
    looking into the light without the dark bluring me
    or setting me off course
    i just realized i have to survive

    i dont care let the people see for the first time as i stare in aw
    im actually being me
    not for amusment or thrills just bhecause this is my life i have to quit the chills
    test
  17. speak easy

    speak easy Tits dont hop they bounce

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2003
    Messages:
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    i just thought that picture was increadible and could be interpreted in many ways
    test
  18. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    Messages:
    2,938
    Looking to see The stars
    They shine bright tonight
    I try and play connect the dots
    with them
    To in vision what is out there

    The bird it fly's tonight
    Illuminating the sky
    Treacherously Exploding
    Riveting the misty planes
    And sparking nights call

    Erupting silence never plagued me
    And a cough never was a sickness
    I opened up a window’
    evoking the parasites of night

    Cinderella put on her dress
    under the glow of a full moon
    Well I put on my pants
    Under The glow of the phoenix

    “come it’s time”

    The dance It’s only minutes away
    but time is of the essence
    So let’s not rush the moment
    midnight won’t strike a second sooner
    So let’s bask In her presents

    And I stand tall cause
    I know she is patrolling the sky’s
    Making sure the darkness
    never falls again
    test
  19. speak easy

    speak easy Tits dont hop they bounce

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2003
    Messages:
    184
    the lines cast away
    shine to bright lights
    and only image is present
    thats the true meaning
    thats the true way of life

    some time today our mind will dift
    but when i look at this corse of color
    coarse of the feverish yellow brushing the cold dark
    i realize were not alone, we never are
    test
  20. StubbilyMug

    StubbilyMug DayorDollar Records

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    Sep 29, 2003
    Messages:
    441
    jesus christ..
    test
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