Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by 1234gfret5, Oct 10, 2006.
yo man DONT GET NO ASS??
KINGS FINISH LAST
I really wanted to attempt to question the entire post that you posed in more detail because well it made me feel quite offended.1.)That you, of all people would be an advocate of generalising women as a group collective of people not wanting nice guys when your ever present feminist line of arguing completely runs at odds with this kind of reasoning. 2.) because it raises many questions regarding human nature and influence, even responsibilty for our actions when we write propogandic articles like this defining nice guys and giving the average man tips on picking up women by being paradoxically 'whatever a nice guy isnt''.
Think for a second on the ramifications of telling young men " dont be a nice guy."
Where does that lead?
Does being the opposite of nice, then become merely a strategy to gain favour with women? does it lose its moral compass?
Sorry if this is rather scatterbrained, but I have been reading soo much today and I am rather tired. I would indeed devote more time into a enquiry if I didnt have a stack of books to read for school.
Oh. in my drowsy state (therefore it may not yield any fruit) I thought of something else that I wish the supporters of this article to address i.e. tight-eyes and others.
I am quite quick to distrust women or men who do not value being nice or attempting to be nice to people. ( I realise we are back at semantics) Nice what is nice? But we are quick to define nice when it works to the detriment of the male, who is quickly seen to bea doormat, for being ironically what he has always been told to be! "NICE"
If indeed the theory is true, is it not hypocritical of parents to raise their kids to be nice? Would you dream of telling your kids not to be nice to people? So why encourage it in adult males?
1.)People who were oblivious to the fact that the rants weren't about genuinely nice people. It makes me wonder what is going on in a person's head when their initial reaction to a rant such as yours is "why, she must hate nice people!" I guess that these are the people who stopped reading in the middle of the title.
Here is the problem: Nice guys in the light of said article= the doormat version, the generic, needy individual, with no opinions backbone or spine. Inconsistency= Being able to define nice when it suits cause of 'the particular nice guy', but not being able to do the same when we define nice and the value of said term in wider relationships. I must have missed her exploration of the 'nice' and the 'genuinely nice' that this guy refered to?
Oh and yes Tights, I am aware you were just the messenger and you cannot be held fully accountable, lol and nor can my queries be all directed at you. BUT, I also thought that you left the thread with a swagger of satisfaction that resonated in your words: ' I hope this helps' .
But I swear this is my last post for tonight
Brit: The "Nice Guy" described in those quotes I linked were not simply men "attempting to be nice" to women or men who generally are nice to or do nice things for women, but rather describes the type of men [more along the line of "people pleasers" -- overly accomodating, but with an ulterior motive] who feel entitled to women's love/attention/sex because they are nice to them, and who tend to then feel slighted and bitter when they dont receive from a woman what they feel they're due. So, it doesn't literally mean any guy who is ever "nice".
Nor did they encourage men to treat women poorly or not to be "nice" to them, but rather to be assertive, honest in intention and to find the balance between treating women well while still maintaining their own personal boundaries and self-respect.
You should read the articles more thoroughly when you get the chance.. especially the stuff I hi-lighted:
"Nice Guy Syndrome" is a folk psychology term. Some use it to describe an adult male who seeks sexual attraction and romantic intimacy, but only finds cordial friendship and platonic love. Others use it to describe an adult male who acts as though he seeks friendship, but only as a foothold to gain a more intimate relationship. The term originates from a type of platitude said to be heard by such men ("You're a really nice guy and all, but...").
The "nice guy" is described as a pleasant, intelligent, unattractive and highly considerate male and with low or misguided confidence (especially with women). These traits often lead to afflicted men being a very good listener, and articulate and expressive speakers. They are also more negatively polite than their peers. Such men are often frustrated, if not indignant, about their romantic trouble. They may also use their status as a "nice guy" to gain sympathy from the women they are interested in.
According to some, men abuse the theory of the nice guy syndrome to justify lack of interest from attractive women. They counter that these men make no effort to find "nice" women."
"If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST do this nonetheless."
tight eyes, no offense to you, but that article you posted is straight up bullshit. i only read part of it before i became too nauseated to keep reading. it's nothing but a coverup for women to not seem stupid by avoiding nice guys and dating the assholes. the truth is nice guys finish last because women are more attracted to a more masculine attitude. since the writer of that article noticed how stupid and immature that is, she became embarassed by it and wrote all that coverup bullshit.
judge junio rules in favor of nice guys finish last, and it's not their fault.
who are these guys? and more to the point--why is she calling them NICE GUYS?
If a guy does something for you to get something in return, no he wasnt nice, he was he was being deceptive and using you as a means to an end.
This article sounds as if it was a vessel for something else, perhaps women who want to justify their bad choices in men and tar all the same 'nice guys with the same brush
And on that note:
It Looks like We have a fundamental error. The article isnt talking about nice guys at all, but slimeballs.
and perhaps you should address some of the other points I made when you find the time. After reading the articles more thoroughly I feel they still have their place in the debate.
So what about the men who maintain their own personal boundaries, treat women well, nice even, and keep their self-respect.
What would the author of the article call them kind of guys, if not nice guys?
No offense taken, you're free to disagree. And which article are you referring to? There where three seperate ones, none of which were written by me... I just copied them here.
p.s. they were written by men
According to one of the articles: "The term originates from a type of platitude said to be heard by such men ("You're a really nice guy and all, but...")."
Other than that I can only guess it has something to do with the fact that those kinds of guys often [wrongly] attribute their misfortune with women to their being "too nice".
Agreed. Thats basically what the articles are saying.
They were written by men. I provided the links to each article, you all are free to check them out for yourself.
Again, I agree.. and that is what the articles are getting at... self-proclaimed "nice guys" who really aren't that "nice", but likely believe that they are. Check out the link in the first one... it provides a more detailed description.
I would assume that those men don't suffer from "Nice Guy Syndrome", and thus none of this would be applicable to them. Based on the topic and subsequent replies, I thought the info would be helpful here.
You would have to ask the authors.
i know dog....im justsaying, i can show u liike 2 or 3 chicks offa myspcae i did that shit with....thats all...\
its just that it is not needed at all times tho....u ill dogood...
i still wanna know how old u are...
treat women like shit and you will be King of the Hill...
No, I'm still good... I just quit being a punk bitch, which is the gist of tight's post.
I was that needy, emotionally greedy "nice guy". There is more complexion to this than simply "nice" or "good," which you pointed out with the semantic difficulty comment.
Thanks, K... you get it!
And I agree - I think Brit is hung up on the word "nice" and not actually looking at how the author's qualified what they meant by "nice guy" and the behavior and attitudes they are describing in the "nice guy syndrome".
I would say he's responding emotionally, not reasoning logically... but, you know, hes got cock & balls and all... so that couldn't be possble ;-p
bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
-snoop doggy dogg
Fuck all that shit. Who really gives a fuck really? I find it funny how dumbass men try to pull bitches, I don't try pullin bitches and they flock towards my cock. I don't really give a fuck really. They'll hold my dick in public.
BBG has an estrogen imbalance... he masquerades as a man, but he's really a woman.
I know you arent talking about masquerading, Mr. Alias.
Funny how people like you feel that they have to make judgements about others masculinity (whish is suspect in itself) without ever examining their own stifled output. In your eyes I am not a man because I do not spew the predictable ish you do that I must fulfill in order to be a man in your eyes.No Thanks.
The only thing that aggrivates me about these threads, is 1) they often make up 'mythical creations' of nice guys to knock them down with ease. 2.)They can never define niceness, and if they do they never couple it with having any of the attributes of being good (which in any other area of life, niceness is always a kin to goodness. 3.) They wrongly imply all nice guys are needy with no backbone and are doormats. 4.) They wrongly use this kind of nice guy at the expense of the genuine nice guy, trying to do the right thing. 5.) They set up a perfect outlet for guys like you who try and use it as a pedestool to boulster their own masculinity in the eyes of other women and men--because in their opinion a 'realman' would not question this theory because he would have given up trying to be nice, long long ago.
Nothing I say is predictable... you would never expect some of the shit I can pull out of my ass, dude.
Separate names with a comma.