Women confuse the fuck outta me.

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by 1234gfret5, Oct 10, 2006.

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  1. 1234gfret5

    1234gfret5 Bitch Suck my 12 Inch

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    All the girls i chill with, i jsut treat them like HUMANS, i chill around with em, make em laguh a lot, whatevs.. but theyre always going for asshole types a guys that call em bitches, r always treating them like shit or sex slaves...

    maybe im just ugly =[ [rwa]
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  2. Al Murder U

    Al Murder U Lyrically...

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    how old are you?


    honestly, dont treat em like that.

    it isnt pc to say treat em like shit...



    but treat em like shit...


    all ur doing is creating a friendship...


    i...well...i'd just say, be up front with them, let em know u want more than a friendship, and if thats all they want, then move on...theres lots of ladies out here...and there is no reason to worry about the one unobtainable ladie, the shit is real dog, it's not a movie, you cant be prince charming and make her love you....i mean, alotta of that stuff is immaturity on the ladies part, and thats what they're interested in...


    ok...


    so i guess my advice,


    is show them, the genuine person that you are, but dont be a doormat.

    show them that you handle your business, and that your time should be as important to them, as their's is to you...and if it isnt, then it isnt...


    sorry homie...
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  3. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    and yet another dude who dont get any for being a nice guy..

    if you want a rather scientific explanation for this kind of behaviour among female humans, check out the following link

    http://www.angryharry.com/esWomenandChimps.htm
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  4. 1234gfret5

    1234gfret5 Bitch Suck my 12 Inch

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    word murder, im not sayin i like bless them with everything or that im a prince charming, im just saying im usually cool and level with them.
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  5. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Do You Suffer From "Nice Guy" Syndrome?

    I have a question for you...

    Have you ever heard that old addage "Nice Guys Finish Last?"

    Well, I'm here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for the reasons you may think.

    Being a "Nice Guy" with women doesn't work, not because you get too caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys are typically very, very...

    SELFISH!

    That's right. When you're a "Nice Guy," you're not really being nice, you're being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.
    ............................................................................................................................


    All you "Nice Guys" have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your methodology is: "I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!"

    Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:

    --"Don't disagree with me! It's not fair because I do so much for you!!!"

    --"Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I'm upset! I'm needy and can't comfort myself."

    --"Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy and if I can't, I feel ashamed and mad at you!"

    --"Pay attention to me when I need it! I've earned it after all I've done for you!!!!"

    --"Take care of me by doing what I'm afraid to do! I take care of you, so you need to return the favor!!!!"

    Look at those thoughts above, and ask yourself "If someone was saying that to me, how would I react?" Now you know where women are coming from when they don't want to have relationships with "Nice Guys."

    Once that happens and the needy demands of "Nice Guys" go unmet, they fall into the deep pits of self-pity and depression. They also feel a lot of shame and anger at their failure to please the women they want, and though these "Nice Guys" can keep their pleasant demeanor up for a long time, their resentment of the women they want to please will grow and grow until it explodes in anger and rage, either directed at others, themselves, or both.

    This kind of mentality can extremely damage your self respect and cause others to not want to be around you.

    So what's a "Nice Guy" to do?

    If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST do this nonetheless.

    Only by being honest, with yourself and with others, will you be able to overcome the selfish "nice guy" habits you have adopted in your life. And when you do this, you will stop caring about what other people think of you because the source of your validation comes from the fact that you're being true to yourself and straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less depression.

    That is the only way I have found to truly stop being a "Nice Guy" and become the type of man other people can respect. It can be hard being honest with others (especially yourself), but in the end it is far more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.
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  6. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Nice guy syndrome


    "Nice Guy Syndrome" is a folk psychology term. Some use it to describe an adult male who seeks sexual attraction and romantic intimacy, but only finds cordial friendship and platonic love. Others use it to describe an adult male who acts as though he seeks friendship, but only as a foothold to gain a more intimate relationship. The term originates from a type of platitude said to be heard by such men ("You're a really nice guy and all, but...")[citation needed]. Several dating gurus discuss this phenomenon and attempt to offer solutions for it.

    The "nice guy" is described as a pleasant, intelligent, unattractive and highly considerate male and with low or misguided confidence (especially with women). These traits often lead to afflicted men being a very good listener, and articulate and expressive speakers. They are also more negatively polite than their peers[citation needed]. Such men are often frustrated, if not indignant, about their romantic trouble. They may also use their status as a "nice guy" to gain sympathy from the women they are interested in.

    According to some, men abuse the theory of the nice guy syndrome to justify lack of interest from attractive women. They counter that these men make no effort to find "nice" women.[citation needed]


    Friend/lover trait confusion

    One theory about the origin of the syndrome is that it results from the affected males having a false perception of what "nice girls" (the women they desire) want in a lover. They usually believe that these women want their men to be intelligent and highly considerate of their needs, and believe they have these qualities. Conversely, they believe these women dislike stupidity and arrogance, abhor misogyny and violence expressed towards them, and place less value on physical attractiveness, muscular strength, cardiovascular endurance, and confidence than other women (see Sexual attraction)[citation needed]. On the other hand, some "nice guys" themselves might not value these traits, prefering to pursue sexually attractive women, over intelligent considerate ones.

    This is highly misguided. While there are many traits that conventionally make men initially attractive to women (physical appearance, confidence, humour), when seeking a relationship a woman is not looking for a bundle of traits, but a particular person. [citation needed]

    When a "nice girl" type friend of a "nice guy" enters into an intimate relationship with any other male, the "nice guy" is often highly confused or upset [citation needed]. The "nice guy" may become passive-aggressive, and confront the woman about her failure to recognise his (superior) qualities [citation needed]. This mental anguish occurs because he cannot reconcile his understanding of women with his vastly different experience. Yet despite the disparity, his erroneous belief does not change (see Milton Rokeach).

    Despite a long history of failing to get a "nice girl", the "nice guy" repeatedly insists that the problem is with the many girls he has encountered, not himself. Often he will perform the actions of a friend (comforting when upset, listening to problems) and then announcing that woman he is pursuing "owes" him something for his actions. If she refuses to date him, he may become angry and indignant and mention that clearly she doesn't want to date "nice guys". If she dates someone else, the "nice guy" will wait for the relationship to go wrong so that he can prove himself superior. [citation needed]


    Too nice

    Another theory is that as a general matter, women enjoy men who make them feel "special," who seem to value them above the rest of the world. As a "nice guy" is generally nice to most people, women may not feel that the "nice guy" is treating them with special preference, as they expect.[citation needed].

    Others believe that women may come to misperceive a clingy or needy aura from the "nice guy" merely by virtue of the fact he may seem overly nice[citation needed]. Clinginess or neediness are usually seen as undesirable, even though these traits may foster security and loyalty later[citation needed].


    Passive aggression

    Dr. Robert A Glover's "Nice Guy" theory is that the Nice Guy's relationship problems are due to passive aggression. He believes the niceness requires the men to suppress the overt expression of their desires, which leads to less direct covert expression.

    Dr. Glover holds that the syndrome expands far beyond the dating world, and cripples the Nice Guy in nearly every aspect of his life. In his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" he explains that "Nice Guys are fundamentally dishonest, and anything but nice." In short, Nice Guys are liars and untrustworthy. By repressing their own feelings, needs and desires, Nice Guys create "covert contracts" and hold other people accountable for their sense of self-worth. Dr. Glover provides helpful steps he calls "Breaking Free Exercises" designed to help Nice Guys take ownership of their lives and replace old, dysfunctional paradigms with new, healthy ones.


    Non-Sexual

    Another popular theory behind "Nice Guy" syndrome is that the "Nice Guy" loses the girl because he avoids showing any sexual intention or attraction for varied reasons, while other suitors take a slightly more overtly attracted approach. Why this is the reason for "Nice Guy" syndrome is hotly debated, with many and various claims made ranging from analysis of both conscious and subconcious Needs and desires, all the way through to that the lack of displayed sexual attraction simply makes the female feel undesired in that respect, and that the male is only seeking friendship, which is freely given.
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  7. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    "All too often we hear self-professed "Nice Guys" complaining about why they can't get a date, and whining that women just want to date jerks, etc. etc. The truth of the matter is that there are genuinely caring, compassionate, decent, fun guys out there who have NO TROUBLE meeting people, getting dates, and having relationships.

    Unfortunately, many of the guys who DO have trouble, insist on laying blame and asserting that women don't want them because they are too "Nice". These people who call themselves "Nice Guys" can't see that THEIR OWN behavior is the problem. Whether it is targetting women who are troubled to begin with, or acting in a manipulative, patronizing or obsequious fashion, these guys sabotage themselves and blame others for their misfortunes.

    This section is devoted to the guys who suffer from that self-professed "Nice Guy" affliction. Here is the place to find out why YOUR behavior isn't as "Nice" as you think it is... "

    http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml
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  8. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Hope some of that helps :)
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  9. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    From a man's point-of-view:

    'NiceGuy', 'Asshole' - Different Sides of the Same Coin?
    by Mithrandir

    After reading through your "nice guy" section, I just want to thank you for finally summing up my feelings on the matter more cleverly and eloquently than I could. In the past, I have had trouble pin-pointing what it was that bothered me about "Nice Guys." I guess that, at first, I was too busy being confused to become pissed off: whenever a NiceGuy would complain that he has trouble with romance because he's too nice (and being in the middle of a nerdy social circle, I hear these complaints often), my typical thought would be something along the lines of: "huh; that's weird; every girl who I've dated so far has liked me because I'm nice. Conversely, none of the girls who have turned me down have done so because of my nicer traits; it's not like they say, "Sorry, but you didn't call me enough nasty names on our first date, and you forgot to slap the waitress' ass!"



    Given this, I'd have a hard time believing that being (genuinely) nice is the true cause of this person's lack of romantic success, but I'd figure that perhaps they simply don't have a clue what the real cause is (and some truly don't, I guess). However, then I read your rants, and it gave me a laugh and also helped me pinpoint another hypocrisy in the NiceGuy philosophy; namely, they see the world as being divided between 3 types of people: nice guys, assholes, and "women." As if being a "woman" is the only distinctive trait possessed by women, and it is up to the "nice males" and the "asshole males" to compete for this commodity known as "womankind." How can anyone hold such a mentality and still get confused when nobody sees them as being every woman's dream?



    Also, reading the comments that were sent in response to these rants has convinced me that these people aren't just ignorant hypocrites; most of them KNOW that they're really assholes themselves, and are just pissed off that their painstaking tactics are a waste of time.



    Basically, the impression that I got from these comments is that the interests of these NiceGuys are almost identical to those of their "asshole rivals," and that they think of women the same way as well: basically, as potential "rewards" for all their hard work pretending to be a decent person. Basically, the negative responses were divided between 4 types of people (though you've probably already made these observations):



    1) People who were oblivious to the fact that the rants weren't about genuinely nice people. It makes me wonder what is going on in a person's head when their initial reaction to a rant such as yours is "why, she must hate nice people!" I guess that these are the people who stopped reading in the middle of the title.



    2) People who whine that whenever they befriend a girl, she starts going out with some guy who "just wants to get laid," and so then they "can't even get laid!" They should at least be aware of the irony here, but no; they're not even aware of the hypocrisy. As you basically said several times, you can tell the difference between a nice person and someone who is only pretending because the faker will complain about how they weren't rewarded for all their "effort."



    Honestly, how can anyone devote so much time and effort into hiding their intentions and feelings towards someone, and then be surprised when these intentions go unfulfilled? For that matter, how can they think that it's an injustice that their intentions go unfulfilled when they're basically identical to those of the supposedly less-deserving "other guy"? These are the people who convinced me that NiceGuys know that they are assholes (rather than just being ignorant), and have some nerve claiming not to be.



    3) Some fucked up people spouting weird shit about how women need to be protected/ nurturing/ told what their place is/ (insert patronizing, puritanical gender role here), and how "that damned feminist movement is ruining everything." These people need a news flash: as we gain more and more knowledge in the fields of psychology, anthropology, and biology, it seems that we find less and less cause to believe that gender roles are anything but socially constructed. Neither sex is "inherently" anything, and it boggles my mind that people still try and cite some bogus gender role to back up their argument that women are inherently attracted to such-and-such, or that this-and-that are in their nature. No they're NOT. Women, like men, are "inherently" in possession of their own fucking brains; it's not like they all run off some computer program, and it's not like they were put here as part of some "divine plan" where step 1 is that they have to be good mothers and obedient wives. That hi-light was for you, Iggy ;-)



    4) People who think that women must be attracted to assholes because they got dumped once or twice. Who hasn't? People like this need to stop seeing each individual as representing the whole of their sex. When a woman dumps you, this is not a mass rejection by all women. There is such thing as "individual circumstance," which means that people get together, people break up, and the who/what/why is going to vary. Maybe it just didn't work out, and it will with another person. Maybe not. Maybe her reasons were valid, and it's time for some self-examination. In any case, a breakup or two doesn't say jack shit about what "women," as a whole, think.



    Anyway, I've written too much, and since you've already said it all, it's all the more useless for me to just re-iterate for so many paragraphs. I just felt like ranting, and figured that I may as well send the rant to the person who inspired it. Keep writing!
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  10. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Dammit tights, quit reading... NOW!! You're learning too much.

    I agree with most of that... which is why I quit being a nice guy a looong time ago... but now I hate "nice women." I like those girls who are "one of the guys" but are cute and sexy.
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  11. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    what tight doesnt know is women are controleld by their biology, their unconscious desire to be with a dominant, confident male, they want to feel protected and safe. if they could choose between the nice guy or the rough dominant non caring male, they will always chose the stronger unit.
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  12. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    LOL @ learning too much. I've always been a bookworm... I love to read. Always been the nerdy, quiet, "nice" girl. So I can relate to these guys... just trying to help 'em out.

    I'll be publishing a book, soon. Stay tuned!
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  13. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I disagree.
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  14. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    you disagree with your own thread then
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  15. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    i mean post
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  16. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I disagree with your assertion at "what tights doesnt know". If you want my opinion, just ask.
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  17. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    ahhh the age old question.. i agree with a decent amount of tight, some i disagree

    im not in a good thinking mood right now but ill definantly return with some knowledge later
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  18. Oh no you didn't tights! our honeymoon period is over..

    i'll be back
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  19. So basically you decided to compromise yourself and trade in your values of being 'nice' which IMO can be equated to 'good' for a strategy to get you in a familiar likeness with particular females who craved conflict rather than stability.

    Having said that, I do realise that the terms 'nice and good' have semantic difficulties: I.e. we can never decide on whether they are synonmous and reach a conclusion upon a definition. Big reason why these threads never get off the ground.
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  20. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Oh shit... lol!

    I just copied and pasted... don't shoot the messenger.
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