Women and Marriage

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by mr.rip, Jan 3, 2008.

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  1. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    What is it about marriage that makes a lot of women want to take that plunge? Why, if a relationship is going okay otherwise do some women want to get married? And why do some of them get annoyed if their guy does not to get married?.Also, if a man is not willing to 'step it up',he is labeled immature,self centered, and not worthy of seeing anymore?.This is really directed at the ladies,but the guys can feel free to chime in with their opinions as well.
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  2. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    This sounds a whole lot like my boyfriend rather than me. We had a good talk about this last night. We were talking about one of my girl friends who recently moved a few months ago because her fiance proposed. She moved back to finish school but is now living with him also. My boyfriend asked me what would I do if that happened to me i.e. getting proposed to. I simply said, well she and I are obviously different...

    His thing is, if you love someone and you've been with that person through so many ups and downs and still are there and together, wouldn't you be willing to share your life with that person? And why not make it "official" as in marriage. Only if you are ready for that committment. Which brings it to the gist.

    ahh I'm rambling...that was a good conversation though lol
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  3. Musica'

    Musica' Pick your poison.

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    I don't need a piece of paper to tell me im in love.
    Fuck it. To many divorces.
    I wouldnt belittle someone just cause they didn't wan to get married. Thats immature all on its own. If you leave someone just cause they wont marry you, theres a hidden agenda somewhere.
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  4. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    For some women, securing the legal benefits and protections afforded by marriage for them and their offspring is very important.

    Some women just want the fairytale.

    Some feel that their partner does not value them as much or is less commited to staying with them, if they do not propose marriage.

    Sometimes its social pressure... family and friends will pressure a couple who has been together a significant amount of time and have not yet married, especially the woman.

    Many folks see marriage as the pinnacle of romantic relationship progression... and if a couple hasn't reached that point, the relationship has not gone as far as it could or should.
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  5. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Do any of you think that you just have to be married to be completly happy with your s/o even after you been with them for years?
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  6. Musica'

    Musica' Pick your poison.

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    I don't think so, well not me personally.
    I know their are females who do.
    But just like tight eyes said, have that "comfort" so to say in whatever reason it's for is what drives a woman to feel like she "needs" to be married.
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  7. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    I know women who got married cause they thought it would complete them and they are still not happy.
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  8. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    The answer to this question is going to vary woman to woman. There isn't a solid answer for every woman that is going to to fit the same criteria. There are women out there who are in love with the idea of a wedding but not the marriage. There's women out there who are down for the life long commitment..and everywhere in between.


    It is hard for me to explain why I wanted to get married. It wasn't social pressure. It wasn't b/c it felt like it was the right thing to do. It wasn't because I wanted to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle.

    It was just a feeling of this is is, this is what I want, this is the person I want to be with and grow old with.

    It was a feeling of, our relationship is either stagnant or grows from here.

    I know there are people who can do the whole live together thing and never get married basically for their whole lives and there is nothing wrong with that, but that is not for me. For me marriage is the ultimate commitment and something that I needed in my relationship. It's a level of commitment that just isn't there for me in any other form.

    I wasn't looking it for to complete me in any way. I strongly feel that one can only feel complete when they are complete themselves. There was nothing that I wanted to gain out of getting married strictly for myself as far as feeling whole or complete. For me it was a natural progression of where the relationship needed to go.

    Not being able to get married would have made me ask what is wrong with this relationship which as been long term and very committed and devoted, that we cannot move to this step?

    If the plan is to live like one is married anyways, what is it about the actual marriage procedure that should be so scary?

    I will admit that I might have lacked some complete happiness had we not got married, b/c I would have been asking what is wrong with this situation that we can't complete it with marriage. But it wouldn't have been exactly the marriage standing in the way, but the issues of marriage if that makes sense.

    I always felt like, if you don't want to get married fine, I can deal with that and love you anyways, but let me know, don't toy with me, don't jerk my emotions around. Honesty is a big part of it.
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  9. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    Now that you are married is it everything you thought it was going to be?
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  10. Musica'

    Musica' Pick your poison.

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    See thats it right there, Marrige isn't always the answer to "completion" and thats why so many end in divorce.
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  11. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    some peeps get married for the wrong reason i know a woman that got married cause the guy she was dating could fuck real good. they are yrs. apart in age she also.
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  12. MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN

    MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine

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    No way. One of my co-workers has been with her s/o for 15 years and she will not marry him, but they are the happiest couple I know. Now I realize that a lot of that has to do with the structure and qualities of the relationship, but its just an example that marriage isn't required.

    I've never been one of those fairy tale girls, but I do eventually want to get married. However marriage isn't something I take lightly and definitely not something I would rush into.

    The best and hardest advice my father ever gave me was " before you get married you need to realize that it will not always be 50/50. Sometimes it will be 20/80 and you need to love that person enough to deal with it and support them when they need it." Man that pissed me off at the time.. lol Then again I was 14 years old and selfish. haha =) Now I get it though.
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  13. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    well I want children...I want a family. And I feel like the best way to lay the foundation for a strong family is marriage. I know I'm about to make a generalization, but by and large, men have issues committing. And for someone like me, who wants to have a cohesive family (not be a baby mama), it would be stupid to have a child and not be married. If a man can't first commit to you, it's going to be much harder for him to commit to a child by you. dig it?

    On top of that, marriage changes a relationship, but it doesn't necessarily have to be for the worst. I know people that said that they feel like their marriage brought out the best in them and totally strengthened and enhanced their relationship with their SO...it's only natural to want to progress if things with your current are going well

    I'm just a very romantic person, and the idea of having someone by your side indefinitely no matter what is one of the most beautiful things in the world to me. I can't think of anything negative marriage brings about...
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  14. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

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    That is some damn good advice. DAMN good!!! It gets real when you have to share a life.
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