[WK47] 5. Ravenous510 (1-2) v. 6. ski mask (1-0) (Vote!)

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Tacky Jones, Sep 3, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    RULES & REGULATIONS

    DEADLINES

    [01] - The deadline for verses is Thursday @ 11:59pm EST.
    [02] - The deadline for extensions is 24 hours ONLY, making it Friday @ 11:59pm EST.
    [03] - The deadline for voting is Sunday @ 11:59am EST.​

    VOTING

    [04] - You must post at least 5 valid voting links within your match.
    [05] - Within those 5 links, you must be sure to vote on both the Championship and Contender matches.
    [06] - Votes must be at least 2 full lines of feedback per competitor followed by the competitor's name in which you choose to vote for.
    [07] - Voting a tie result is deemed a failure to vote.
    [08] - Voting links must be posted in your battle thread with the Champ and Contender matches labeled clearly.
    [09] - Votes changed after 1 hour of posting will be deemed a failure to vote.
    [10] - Voting is open to current participants, past champions, and active RBL moderators ONLY.​

    VERSES

    [11] - All verses are to remain within the limits of 8 to 40 lines. Any breach of line limit must be agreed upon by both competitors prior to a verse being posted. Failure to comply will result in an automatic forfeit by all failing parties.
    [12] - An agreement of a line limit will serve as the maximum allowed; competitors are allowed to post under an agreed limit, but never over. An agreement is not required. Upon failure to agree to a line limit, the second competitor is thereby required to meet the limit set by the first competitor to post.
    [13] - You must not edit your verse once your opponent has posted, who in turn must not edit their verse after the first vote is cast.​
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  2. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

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  3. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    12 to 14 lines only?

    How about a maximum of 20...and I don't know how early I'll be able to post...
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  4. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

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    I'll go 16 max. Posting tomorrow.
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  5. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    I honestly do not agree to such a short line limit, but if you post first, I suppose I'll have no choice but to meet it, according to the rules.

    I have a shitload of homework though, so I'm probably not going to be able to post until at least like Thursday or so...
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  6. SiegeSupreme

    SiegeSupreme Well-Known Member

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    ^ You can post anytime before the thursday midnight Rav
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  7. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

    Joined:
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    16 lines

    Shut the fuck up and post ya verse!

    Check it..

    Most won't remember them, but it's something to smile at
    Ayo Ravenous.. Madrapper and Nasif want their style back!
    I'm a Wildcat.. something like Kentucky but I behave more stout
    & U should change ya name cuz ya really nothing to Rave about
    U support the helpless, each week with ya mislead quotes
    I betcha from South Carolina the way U pile them dead votes
    I'll put U in a box, sniffing Coke will not give U Raw skill
    But it gives U a problem w/ rocks to shame villians of Smallville
    Ya style's cliched, U wanna be a good person & join the praise
    So U throw quarters to these bums.. in hopes to Coin a phrase
    U'll be impressed with my following.. The amount of views intrigue
    U'd think I was dressed for the slopes the way Ski-suits the league
    I'm from the south.. Calling U dope is like calling me a yonker
    U even Separate ya bars thinking that'll help Divide & conquer
    U just got crunched, a top punch? U have NO dedication
    Proving U wouldn't have a Frontline with Flea Medication

    Next!
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  8. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    Ooooooooooooo....he's disrespectful....here you go, guy...


    I’m snappin’ necks with rhymes - and this bastard’s next - his cataleptic lines can’t contest with mine!
    Slash his chest with savageness ‘til Mask is left to die like ants in pesticide!
    I’ll show and prove – open wounds –no antiseptic? Fine!
    This kid’s gonna lose, see – you’ll be lumped up – rufied – punch drunk - when I give ya a bruise, Ski! (brewski)
    See, I’m droppin’ his ass – my nine’s glossed - see the red tinge? -
    My bucket creeps past – fuck a ski mask – he’ll need an oxygen mask when hypoxia sets in!
    Live shots eat your flesh and bystander’s eyes pop – leave your dead limbs
    And mind scattered for five blocks – death isn’t when life saddens and rhymes stop-
    Death's when you’re left in a nice casket or pine box!
    Since my shooter makes kids hallucinate like effectively dropped acid -
    Bitch, I’ll set it off – give you menopause when you’re catchin’ these hot flashes!
    Hold it now – slow it down! –
    I said – bitch, I’ll set it off – give your mental pause when you’re catchin’ these hot flashes!
    It’s best to play the student ‘cause I’m killin’ off your pipe dreams-
    I’ll have investigative units sealin’ off a crime scene – that’s his fate!
    So pain’s involved – no painted walls when I leave Mask in tape! (masking tape/police caution tape)



    Here's some audio for you as well in case you want to hear what it's supposed to sound like and how it's supposed to flow;

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  9. ThisisDAM

    ThisisDAM Turn The Pages

    Joined:
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    Ski mask, horrible verse. Coin a phrase was a cliche I used Ina battle 10yrs ago, that's no bullshit. Played verse, nothing to quote, I honestly don't have anything more to say. Your closer was beyond played as well. Rave you have an audio style. I knew it before I saw the YouTube vid. I don't like it on paper. This was all flow, lacked more substance. You had some forced shit, although the hot flashes couplet was kind of dope tbh. But, as a text battle, I don't think your style works.

    Rave got this tho
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  10. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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  11. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

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    Just 1 vote?
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  12. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    Lol...no one wants to vote because they all hate me and they don't want to admit that I pooped on you...
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  13. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

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    seriously?
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  14. Thorne

    Thorne come at me bro

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    I’m snappin’ necks with rhymes and this bastard’s next
    his cataleptic lines can’t contest with mine!
    Slash his chest with savageness ‘til Mask is left to die like ants in pesticide!

    nothing clever here just standard rhyme scheme for the sake of rhyming 'mask is left to die like ants in pesticide' sounds like like some grindtime throwaway shit...

    I’ll show and prove open wounds –no antiseptic? Fine!
    This kid’s gonna lose, see – you’ll be lumped up – rufied – punch drunk - when I give ya a bruise, Ski! (brewski)

    bruise ski? And you say shit a/b others wordplay being stretched- are you serious? line was neither clever nor grammatically sound. wording on the whole thing was bad too.

    See, I’m droppin’ his ass – my nine’s glossed - see the red tinge? -
    My bucket creeps past – fuck a ski mask – he’ll need an oxygen mask when hypoxia sets in!

    this would be okay as a braggadocio line, but your not saying anything. I've also noticed your dashes break up the flow really and are a lazy choice to keep a rhyme scheme going btw. I cant help think anyone could do this and make a verse flow and rhyme like you, sounds forced.

    Live shots eat your flesh and bystander’s eyes pop – leave your dead limbs
    And mind scattered for five blocks – death isn’t when life saddens and rhymes stop-
    Death's when you’re left in a nice casket or pine box!

    this would be cool as a swag/flow type of line...otherwise saying some pretty basic shit, 'death isnt when ya rhyme stops its when ya dead in a pine box' pretty simplistic/boring line.

    Since my shooter makes kids hallucinate like effectively dropped acid -
    Bitch, I’ll set it off – give you menopause when you’re catchin’ these hot flashes!
    Hold it now – slow it down! –
    I said – bitch, I’ll set it off – give your mental pause when you’re catchin’ these hot flashes!

    good god this line sucked, its like a sophomoric attempt at a smack run it back line or say it again line, mental pause is not in any way something coherent in text, in person, or as something i would believe any normal human think of rationally. I feel dumber for having to read it tbh...

    It’s best to play the student ‘cause I’m killin’ off your pipe dreams-
    I’ll have investigative units sealin’ off a crime scene – that’s his fate!
    So pain’s involved – no painted walls when I leave Mask in tape! (masking tape/police caution tape)

    wack and the wordplay is obvious. You know for someone who cirtiques battles and talks about wordplay and all this bullshit you really dont have anything other than forced schemes and flow with no substance. I really think most competent battlers could do what you do better and actually include decent lines opposed to the horrrible attempts. Didnt see one line is your verses i liked, this was like reading a swag & flow vs someone posting a battle verse, ski had the rock line and a couple which were okay, not great, and didnt sound retarded.

    I'll put U in a box, sniffing Coke will not give U Raw skill
    But it gives U a problem w/ rocks to shame villians of Smallville

    and a coupe others... ski wasnt too great, but eh didnt have any incredibly wack attempts at very bad lines like Rav did.

    v- ski mask
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  15. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    Nice hate vote. Well done.

    Lmao @ you not even bothering to break down the other guy's verse...
    You really must be angry...
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  16. ski mask

    ski mask The Don

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  17. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    I'll vote today.
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  18. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    Ski, opener was nothing special, but a cool diss that worked for me. Brought back memories to hear those names and rave is just about obnoxious enough to rightfully draw those references. Follow up left me a bit puzzles though. Maybe I'm missing the relevance of the kentucky mentions in the opener. Though the rave about was a fair concept, though the setup seemed forced and the concept is too easy and too easily done to be considered creative. Dead votes, eh. Concept could've been worth it, but again, no connection in the setup which really made the punch less effective. I dug the execution of the smallville line, just didn't think it was relevant. No damage done with a coke line, just a cool connection you tried to make that really had no effect on your opponent. Coin a phrase, yes, is played—but that's not why I don't dig it. Most concepts these days are played. I just don't reflect the flip. You didn't make much sense out of it to me. I mean, I get the coin connection, but not the phrase portion. You failed to make it work. Ski suits was okay for what it's worth. Still no damage. I dug the divide and conquer, but I'm still having issues with your setups. They're all forced. Writing in couplets works only if the first line complements the next. Setup, punch. If I had to visualize it, the setup is where you're lifting his chin to put his face into position and the punch is when you swing and make contact. Can't make full contact without a proper setup. Frontline was actually new for me. Not sure you pulled it off, as I think it could be executed more effectively. Or maybe it's that frontline isn't a phrase used to describe a good line, and so it sounds forced. Either way, I'll say it's decent. Overall, not as wack as DAM made it out to be, but not good. Potential is evident though.

    Rave, I don't know where to begin as I feel you're just not getting it. You seem hard-headed, stubborn, I sympathize for your parents. If you thought this was dope, either in audio or text, you're sadly mistaken. This was not. Plainly, you're not creative and do a terrible job of humiliating your opponent. Your flow is forced, and for all the wrong reasons. It's distracting really, to have to sift through so much gibberish in search of relevancy. A battle verse is just a string of disses woven together in any fashion—I prefer couplets, but there is no one right way. What you're missing is the string of disses. Has nothing to do with your style. Brewski was a fair concept, although the way you spun it in audio sounded corny as fuck. Everything before brewski was just wasted space. Hypoxia?? At this point, I'm really curious as to what you're thinking. I wont pretend to have known what hypoxia was, but now that I do, I'm still clueless as towhy it might set in or why you thought this was effective. Have you never been through public schooling? Have you never "roasted" your friends at the lunch table? You're doing too much. Pine box triplet sounded nice, rolled off the tongue well, but was really useless and overly violent. Nothing you said was effective at attacking your opponent, just gibberish about death and violence that happened to rhyme well. Closer from then on was actually pretty decent. I think you stretched the hot flashes concept over too many lines, but it semi-worked, and I dug the masking tape. I also dug the imagery, although still violent. You managed to stretch one visual over a series of lines and two or three concepts, depending on how you count the repitituous hot flash reference, and still make it work. Overall, I think in time, even you'll be impressed with how your writing improves. And if this text battle shit doesn't pan out for you, I suggest joining the RSTL. Would suit your style preference and content a bit better. As is, this was a lot of filler.

    In the end, tough match to vote on since ski failed to separate his self. Still, too many distractions in rave's verse to warrant a vote. I think you're a victim of missing the whole evolution of text battling, whereas those of us who lived through it have been developed over time specifically to dislike your style and approach. It's inefficient, and as such, mostly ineffective. We all wrote like this as newbies. But over time, we learned to clean up our verses, make every line count, cut out the filler, stop forcing flow and multia just to sound nice, focus less on violence and other nonsense and more on relevant issues and attacking your opponent, etc. you have potential, but be humble and accept the criticisms and I think you'll fare better.

    Vote - ski mask.

    Excuse the auto-corrected typos. Voting from my iPhone.
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