[WK13] CONTENDER: 3. Got Life? 18-7 v. 4. MetaSin 8-2 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Quriosity, May 4, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850



    [​IMG]

    ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations -----

    "GENERAL RULES"

    VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    • Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    • Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    • If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    • CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    • Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics
    • A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    • If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 2 voting links in order to claim victory
    • A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    • If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    • Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.





    "VOTING RULES"

    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST

    • You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    • EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    • Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    • Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    • Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    • Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    • If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on ALL 5 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    • Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    • Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    • PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 4 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    • Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    test
  2. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    NOTE: NEW VOTING RULES WILL BE ENFORCED!!!
    test
  3. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    test
  4. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    Chin Check.
    test
  5. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    test
  6. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    lol. Funny how u said no extensions from the get... But that's cool. See u tomorrow.
    test
  7. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    The Hunt

    the hunt...
    I can smell it....
    sweet ichor, black on my fingers...
    the madness just lingers...
    I am a different race in the moonlight...
    my bloodlust, wathching you goons fight...
    flightless upon the wings of great crows...
    souls lifting from their soles...
    as we watch the pores in the skin...
    thin in her window, we were once kin....
    now the leaded glass disfigures my sin....
    casting the colors of great saints...
    these hues are tainted paints...
    with the pane of repentance....
    of rememberance dancing...
    lancing attractions between two lovers eyes...
    with fruitless flies...
    motors set on hover...
    I made her my lover...
    as the beating wings cast cathedral shadows
    beneath the gallows...
    there...on the streaming cries...
    she'd shiver as I sang her lullabies...

    oh sweet...sweet embrace...
    predatory instincts sink into a cerebral sneeze,
    the scene's repeating...she's on her knees...
    and God blesses my thoughts...
    but not without pain...
    not without staind knees of crouching patience...
    gratifying the needs of incessant vacants...
    emptiness....hollow vagrants...
    ravings in the moonlight backyard...and I play...
    the pack of naked playing cards that lay...
    with crossed out scars on the beautiful mystique...
    life...she seems so bleak...
    I look to the meak...
    of freaks in skin...painted skim in the frothy tub...
    milky white with the sub....
    love entering the waters edge....
    pledging uncanny commital upon the blade of lasting sanity....
    and the snake tests the flicking tounge of vanity...
    far flung into deepened sheets of my insanity...
    stealing crimson's beauty upon silver fingertips...
    she strips...

    ...revealing the mastery...
    I stand upon steeples...
    as godlessness begets a feeble delight....
    I master life with a tight fist in a fight....
    beating with pulsating wrists as they spill over bedsides...
    she was sweet....now she collides...
    tying her feet to the rail was the failure to comply...
    I loved her...I loved her to death...
    until every breath...
    in her tattered throat bubbled to the surface...
    it made me so nervous...
    since she loved me too...she told me so...
    grown from her fear and sown watching malevolence grow...
    I am a benevolent soul...
    and tireless nights prod my succulent palate...
    watching the blood...
    letting it flow...
    she claimed to be God...
    so I raped her slow...

    [​IMG]

    "I don't believe in God but I'm very interested in her."
    - Arthur C. Clarke​
    test
  8. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    test
  9. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    Aftermath

    He was hittin the beat, with a mist in the streets,
    That Blankets the town, tucking the city to sleep
    In the caprice, Mick sat, trynna listen n see
    Focused. This is where all the criminals be.
    Then dispatch came thru, decisive with words
    Telling him to check the spot, where that fire occurred.
    He thought: Just a few fiens, getting their rocks off,
    Or some teens getting a kick outa chillin in Bob’s loft.

    He headed out....

    [​IMG]


    *The place was a mess…deserted, no trace of a breath
    In the ashes, where police were to afraid to arrest
    Bobby Giovanni: a demon of angry unrest,
    So they burned it to the ground, til no danger was left.*

    [They tried to silence me, but I’m speakin my mind,
    they tried to defeat my design, at the scene of a crime
    I was there when it happend; they thought they were smart
    Trying to attack Mr. Giovanni at dark.
    He was a big shot, a confident guy
    So his following thrived, callin him a boss in NY.
    With the law in his pocket, and prominent eyes
    on the city, he knew when problems would rise.
    He said fuck the rules… fuck the laws you abide
    Fuck ya mother, father, wife, sons, daughters n pride…
    He’d go to hell with a smile if all of them died
    And go to heaven, just to pick a fight with God in the sky.
    He’d walk in the light, creep in a solemn disguise
    Demons dancing in the shadows where that Monster would hide
    This dominant guy, threatening the powers that be,
    So they decided to somehow find out where he sleeps,
    And take him down… a couple cops, out on the beat
    Would do the work, and claim they found him deceased.
    But it didn’t happen that way: 3 shots to the head
    And a brand new triplet of coppers were dead.
    So they came here again, but with a new attack…
    Gas cans got emptied and then they threw a match…
    We went up in a blaze: the doers wanted to witness,
    To make sure, it was done… it took a couple of minutes.
    The firemarshall appeared, as they used water to smother
    The flames, and then there was a body recovered.
    Now someone's back here, at the loss of a clue...
    unaware of what he really is walking into
    Now, I’m feelin sorry for this cop because,
    That body wasn’t who the fuck they thought it was.
    And it's fittin, this position with this policeman gettin lured
    into the situation, as they'll all get what they deserve
    he might see the results that a fire fight breeds
    as darkness surrounds him, n Bobby hides behind me]


    ....If Walls Could Talk....

    [​IMG]
    test
  10. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Up over closed threads.
    test
  11. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    GL? - blood bubbles in the throat / raped her slow .. YAWN! .. how you crit anyone on originality or played content when you're still spewing out these gorefest pieces is beyond me .. interviewed in the mag and claim you and Meta were the best storytellers in the league .. this does not back up that claim .. flow was unstable .. content was mundane and predictable .. and the feel of the piece held no interest value .. not really sure why you put that pic in as it didn't add anything .. using the quote was good enough for my money .. all in all this was nothing new and nothing really different from what we've come to predict we'll be reading from you ..

    Meta - wow .. sick .. incredible .. just wow .. shame people won't get this .. jokes .. this was cool though .. content was certainly fresher than your opponent .. I felt the darkness behind the piece as it became clear all was not waht it seemed .. some decent descriptive work without really excelling on the same aspect in GL?'s piece .. flow was pretty smooth throughout but the content held strong enough to overshadow blips in the flow .. decent verse ..

    Vote = MetaSin .. breakdown aspects were fairly even .. but Meta had the better flow and a far more interesting story that was also a lot more original in concept than GL?'s same ol' same ol' ..
    test
  12. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,146
    GL:
    ha nice verse dude im liken the flow, usual heat with the more advanced vocab which was cool.. Story was tight i read it a day ago n it took me til now to finally get it, that it's the story of Dali's - Honey is sweeter then blood.. but heres where the originality lies.. within the painting she was a god braced by the surface of our world yet you took a human being to unearth her grasp.. oh the irony - which plays rather nicely with your final bar.. I like your portrayal of the minotaur and the emotion displayed - you def captured the slight taste of innocence from the art work.. One of your best by a long shot dude..

    meta:
    Cool Cool im liking this flow nice - story was cool too - personal i see it as a lil undeveloped.. maybe cause it reminds me of a spin off from Lucio Fulci's - House by the Cemetery, with the blood demon, the world you set it in and the character's name.. which leads me to believe that the demon is his father but it's unclear from lack of coverage.. Still cool like i said good tale, i like the added police element to it, but all up not developed strong enough..

    Vote = Got Life

    For the more complete story.. pz n g/l dudes
    test
  13. 3-Planes

    3-Planes Cruel... and unusual

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    549
    Got Life?

    certain carefully phrased lines in this struck a chord with me - to me it's like this with the art of storytelling: it's not only what you say, but also how you say it. with that said i can't give you too much credit for the plot that you used as the skeleton for this piece, not necessarily because it felt played, but rather because it didn't interest me or hold my attention. the flow came off as weird in certain passages due to akward transitionings between different schemes, but overall the mechanics were solid.

    MetaSin

    this felt like a polished up cliché - like an old car that has been blessed with some new car smell. the subject-matter was familiar but with a fairly fresh twist to it... your writing was pretty engaging and easy to follow as far as readability goes - but this was sloppily written with lots of akward sentences. the level of wording got better as it went along - especially that section with the inner dialouge. overall this progressed pretty fluently - but then again you wouldn't have been able to keep alot of those rhyme schemes intact without that akward sentence structure.

    both these pieces had strengths and weaknesses as i saw it... in the end i'm going with MetaSin by a fraction, the strength of his story enough to overcome the few linguistically well-crafted lines in Got Life?'s piece

    vote: MetaSin
    test
  14. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    GL? - for what its worth, i dug this in the end, but the wording and what not actually hindered the story i believe which was your biggest downfall, in a time where many of these words appear unnatural to the untrained eye makes it come off as if you were reaching, if that makes any sense, i dont know because i do the same at times but never this much, although i grasp the gist of it and the majority makes sense on the first read but i did get lost in the sounds of words at times and thus i ended up reading this maybe 3 times and all in all the story never grew in excitement or entertainment value, still i enjoyed your take and the poetic flow/vibe that this piece carried, it made up for a lack of fluidity in flow, also i did enjoy most of your wording and imagery and the ending was a good tie in to the topic but i just felt that overall not only did you opt for uncommon words but also for an uncommon approach and display which all in all makes it more of a chore to read, just doesn't seem like modern literature but it was still dope for what its worth

    Meta - the story was easier to grasp and much stronger in entertainment value, most probably due to your approach but it seems as if you pulled off a better flow and not necessarily with the use of elementary words but more common words that made for a smoother and more natural read, all in all though it seemed as if you spent much less time and i think GL's piece would be published way before this, some of it seemed as though you were reaching, for one i didnt like the name of bobby giovanni however i understand that im being overly picky but in the first stanza it seemed as if you chose bobby simply because it rhymed with the preceding line, a few other spots seemed as if you were reaching and clearly proved that you were not the more advanced writer here such as the triplet copper thing, all in all it was still an entertaining story, nothing groundbreaking or original but well done and with a good flow and good storytelling skills

    overall this is a very tough decision, in one corner you have GL in which one read of his verse and he lost hands down, and i am strong believer (just recently) that a reader should only have to actually read a verse once, that's all a reader owes to an author and this really hurts my opinion of GL, however at the same time in comparison his verse is the more thought out and unconventional approach and obviously took more effort, in the other corner you have a more simplistic story which was easily narrated with a smoother flow about bad cops and a new york city crime boss, it definitely only took one read here but it also just feels so cliche and as if you're stealing a win that isn't rightfully yours, less effort and the story seems to be strung together loosely but the ending was done rather nicely

    in the end, vote - meta, i would love to give this to GL but its just too much, the piece was nice and definitely shouldn't be scrapped but for the RSTL and with our limited time to vote i really cant call it any other way, meta's was a much quicker read with a good story and better flow and entertainment while GL's was slow paced with long drawn out imagery (but still good) and his writing was more bland as far as a 2 minute read goes, very close match though but that's how i see it right now

    just notes, but meta does a poor job of explaining who the actual speaker is in the last stanza, minor details that would strengthen the verses, however i still felt as if i walked away with more after one or even two reads from metas than from GL's

    so yea, vote - meta
    test
  15. DaAlmightyDolla

    DaAlmightyDolla Greatness

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    24,916
    got life- didnt really get into the verse. flow was kinda off 4 me. i give u credit 4 the vocab. sometimes the words u use can disquise a bad verse into something that it isnt. 4 the most part it didnt keep me interested. ive read better from u. u used the topic and pic well with each other. u get points on that. overall 7/10

    meta- i like ur gangsta style. were u also the dude that had the lefty verse? its like u dont really out do yourself but wat u give is still entertaining no matter how many times some1else may have done the subject. maybe playing gta4 has me liking this verse more cuz the coppers r dieing lol. overall 7.5/10

    v- meta
    test
  16. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 1999
    Messages:
    1,517
    life - interesting verse, i actually liked your ending cause its kinda fucked, lol, i think the only thing holding back your verse was the short line scheme you went for, you could of added a few words to those lines-fleshed them out-and the flow would of been more solid, it seemed a bit choppy to me at times, but the story made up for the weakness in that area

    met - nice story, pretty easy to visualize most of your verse here, you have the edge regarding flow and structure, it seemed to flow alot more natual than GL verse, and ultimately i think i liked your verse more just for the fact that it was a story in the way that it was told wheras GL wrote his more in the style of a poem, both were very good verses tho

    vote - Metasin
    test
  17. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2000
    Messages:
    7,962
    wow.

    surprised by the voting.


    gl: by far one of your most poetic pieces in weeks. i thought it was beautifully written, the flow was nice, your rhyme scheme - while never strong - was stronger than usual - & none of it was forced. the vocab was intelligent, & the story was incredibly creative & brilliantly original. nice little ending, & a great flip on the topic as well. i'm very impressed with your showing this week.

    meta: decent verse. story was fun, but kinda played conceptually. better rhyme scheme than gl, but at times the rhyme scheme was not only forced, but forced the flow awkwardly in rhythm. it wasn't nearly as smooth of a read as gl's. the imagery wasn't that great, but you had some nice lines. every so often you'd surprise me with a few dope bars, but it was nothing spectacular.

    overall, i think gl's verse was far more creative, had much better imagery, & was overall just a better piece of writing.

    so.
    v- gl.
    test
  18. nom de plume.

    nom de plume. rumbrave.

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    8,233
    gl - i didn't really feel this verse to be honest. the rhyme scheme felt very basic with single syllable rhymes.which can work, but it didnt really work here. it jut made the piece boring to me. with no real movement. it was a decent verse. but it wasn't up to your usual standard.

    meta - i like where you went with this. your rhyme scheme and mechanics were obviously more advanced than gl's. but that wasn't the main reason why i felt your verse was impressive. the general story telling was just over all more engaging than gl's.

    vote - metasin
    test
  19. RICO

    RICO my daughter right there

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2002
    Messages:
    6,773
    GL......
    nothing wrong with your verse....the story was rather slow to me...kinda like a action movie would be when thiers alot of scenes with just talking....to be honest i liked the way your story was written as far as scheme goes....those short two bars...followed by a long change up.....any way i had no difficulty reading it, just not my cup of joe.

    Meta.....your flow was koo, and it really kept me interested....your story was more appealing to me but as far as structure and flow goes i gotta give it GL....ive seen this done and i enjoyed it as much now as i did then.....great piece....


    Rap-up.....overall, i think this was a great battle.....GL toook adeep approach and though it wasnt my style i enojyed reading it......Meta, not beter written in my opinion, but more ENTERTAINING.

    vote-met.

    i enjoyed his more.
    test
  20. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    Metasin wins 7-2 in votes
    Meta posts 4 times in match
    Meta still wins 6-2 in votes
    Last 2 votes DQ'd for being casted after deadline
    Meta still wins 4-2 in votes
    Meta posts after extension limit
    Meta is disqualified from match
    Got Life? wins by default
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)