[Wk 5] 23. Master Peace 0-0 v. 24. SpeedyCalhoun 0-0 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Got Life?, Mar 10, 2008.

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  1. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    [​IMG]

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  2. SpeedyCalhoun

    SpeedyCalhoun Obviously...

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    Isn't this grand?....Check...
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  3. Master Peace

    Master Peace coolest nigga yo mama kno

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  4. Master Peace

    Master Peace coolest nigga yo mama kno

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    Time please just remain in your place….
    cause the more you disrupt the closer that Star’ll come and leave a scorch in your place


    God saw fit to have us split after Moses appeared
    Cause you were laxed on the job and expanded life for hundreds of years
    And I admit I played a part by not inducing his fear
    Instead I bred crops and ignored warnings I pretended to hear
    We were foolish…
    Then punished with death under unbearable strain
    We had to watch our children drown in that terrible rain
    Nothing we could do until all we worked for was washed away
    I cried Earthquakes and you paused for 40 Nights and Days
    Never the same again…you and I will have to live with the pain
    That with the exception of a few nothing but the spirits remain
    Shame that on the 41st day when the sun shined on land
    You lost your faith in him even though he took the pause off your hands
    Cursed his name and vowed that you would never forgive
    For destroying what you worked so hard for to put in
    No going back after that, even after God stated the fact
    That he would never again destroy lives he placed on me like that

    but Time please remain in your place….
    cause the more you disrupt the closer that Star’ll come and leave a scorch in your place


    Can’t fathom this emotion that comes over me
    This thing called Love we speak of, is a wondrous soliloquy
    Universal Gods respond odd to our lust
    So it’s a must that we part cause if we don’t they’ll diligently work til it’s thus
    But you disagree all of a sudden, why are you changing your mind?
    Yes, I’ll eventually fade but our passion will remain through your Time
    And you hold the key…you’ve been blessed with a fortunate fate
    But if you continue to be unwise the Lord will Speed up your pace
    That mixed wit polluted air and an arrogant race
    Will compel the Sun to melt the Ice Cap Blue eyes on my face

    so Time please remain in your place….
    cause the more you disrupt the closer that Star’ll come and leave a scorch in your place


    As the Universe evolves I parish slowly…no escaping this fate
    Cause I’ve been infected for so long….I can no longer take
    Their abuse and misuse of me…it’s taken a toll
    I thought we’d live forever but you seem to never grow old
    You just maintain your same position 6 to 12, 12 to 6
    And that’s how it will always be until God calls it quit
    This Love wasn’t bliss and since I’m dying I must take the risk
    To rise out of this plain and to meet you again and grant you a kiss

    So Father Time please remain in your place…
    To remind those that what you grant them isn’t meant for them to waste

    [​IMG]
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  5. SpeedyCalhoun

    SpeedyCalhoun Obviously...

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    I got 11:58 on my clock guy. But let's run an extension for good measure...
    I'll just put my verse in here, and assume you'll do the same....



    If death was a part of it, I’d tell it like a tragedy
    And I don’t know who started it, but tell ‘em it’s a masterpiece
    With one small objection that I find maddening…
    See, my placement in the back leads to basic catastrophes

    Happily,
    The other planets turn their back on me,
    Back when you weren’t dying slowly from the gasoline,
    Still a virgin, uninhabited by ignorant ‘gods’
    All natural, no satellites to pierce ya façade,

    Back when running in circles was merely our job,
    But you and Nep made it a point to always give me a nod,
    Still ignored by the rest, I was given this prob,
    Like I was destined for taunts and those innocent sobs,

    Like there was nothing else left to do,
    Especially when Mars could brag,
    He had the seat right next to you,
    A promiscuous Venus was on the other side ‘helping’ you,
    Cause her rotation was faster than you could put the pedal to,

    But since I’m not a jealous dude, I just turned it to fate,
    If we were meant to be, destiny would turn up someday,
    So my passion just burned as I wait,
    Nep said I looked sad,
    But being blue was a permanent trait,

    But in the mist of me taking my time,
    And waiting in line,
    You were penetrated by some inferior minds,
    They only saw you as THE resource to keep them alive,
    To dwell, eat, and believe that they’re taking what’s mine,

    I wouldn’t let ‘em,

    I cringed at the horror of loss…

    I was to get ‘em

    They noticed that my orbit was off…

    Maybe I’m jealous

    They experience your aura as soft,
    Your like…a mother to them…
    But now you’re paying a horrible cost

    If death was a part of it, I’d tell it like a tragedy
    And I don’t know who started it, but tell ‘em it’s a masterpiece
    With one small objection that I find maddening…
    Their placement on her surface gives both fallacies,

    They think they’re invincible, especially those NASA geeks,
    Sitting in their towers, wondering how to take a crack at me,
    Knowing that I loved her, their rescinded my pass to be,
    The planet that would’ve gave her both halves of me,

    We started with 9,
    They cut down the last part of the line,
    Now there’s 8,
    And ya’ll still find it hard to align,

    But Know:
    Pluto
    Luvs
    Earth


    Is carved in the minds,
    Of every planet that the sun coats…
    When it rises to shine

    [​IMG]

    "Mother Nature Is A M.I.L.F...Wait, We Already Are..."
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  6. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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  7. SpeedyCalhoun

    SpeedyCalhoun Obviously...

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  8. Master Peace

    Master Peace coolest nigga yo mama kno

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    My fault about the timing...but

    Excellent read Speed. I really enjoyed your piece
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  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Upping for votes...

    both of you guys please mind the 3 posts per battle match rule as you are both at that point...so no more posting from either of you lol.

    oh and peace, I took out that grim reaper/crow pic as it's prolly for next week and it's not one of the topics available for this week.

    same /w the quote...you can only use topics provided this week...the suggested topics for next week are not open to use.
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  10. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Speedy - that last bit, mother nature is a milf, oh wait we're already fucking her...that was brilliant...the way you played off this entire topic I loved it from start to finish with my only gripes being a little with your structure and mechanics, but I thought it was a fresh take on the topic and a really creative verse.

    Peace - I thought this was also a really good take on this topic...kind of from the voice of mother nature herself and her love affair and infatuation with father time...and an awareness of her own demise, without going topical and preachy into...I think that's something really hard to deliver properly and I think you nailed it...also your mechanics seemed more honed for this battle.

    I think what happened here is that peace scrapped his verse after seeing speedy's and came in to handle business.

    Both verses are really refreshing and this was truly a good battle, but it will come down to what creative angle you like more and to me, I prefered the imagery and almost poetic realization through the voice of mother earth herself rather than plutos infatuation /w earth.

    so my vote goes to Master Peace.
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  11. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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  12. Dougie G

    Dougie G New Member

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    Ok alot of no-shows this week, so I have to vote on this batttle, to make my four vote quota, So I really couldnt find a winner to this one but I will vote, I guees i will just come up with it at the last minute, here it goes.

    Master Peace: At the beginning you had me feeling youtr verse, and i thought I was in for something good, but then the chrous got boring, i am sorry but in the verses i read on here, i usually dislke choruses, i just dont understand how they help the story, And then by the second verse, i was done, I was just lost.

    Speedy: WHAT!!!!! The second time I read this verse, i caught it nicely, Are you guys serious, this verse did not get one vote, ARE U KIDDING ME!!!! WOW, fuck that, let me changed my previous statement, I have seen one person use a chorus the right way and That was this verse right here, I loved the story and it flowed so nice, WOW/

    Vote: Speedy for having a more entertaining verse in my opion.
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  13. Bodian

    Bodian Mahatmaghandi Warholishit

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    Yeah, Im leaning more towards Speedy this week also, I just felt he had the more creative and interesting spin on the same (sort of) topic and thats eventually what gave him the edge in this match for me, that originality...

    Master Peace started off quite slow, with all the religious overtones and he got quite into depth on that whole thing but I wasnt really a fan of it. The entire 'religion' thing has been done over and over too many times before and in my opinion, unless youre offering up something entirely original or fresh or something that will make the user THINK and perhaps change or challenge their opinions, then its not worth tackling something like this. Its just been said too many times before already and it made for a bad start to the piece. The hook was also a little too long winded on the second line which drew it out more than was needed IMO... You could of done without that. I'll give you props on attempting more a topical joint than a story though, its always good to see that. Speedy really came into his own here though, the whole idea was real impressive and its such a creative take that i think it just lifted it above the standard of Master here and brought it into its own. Again, some good wording, and i liked how it almost crescendoed at the end into split up lines and it brought about this chaotic feel to it that genuinely tied it into the whole feel of the piece for me. Really solid work my man, mucho props on this joint. Ive got Speedy winning this...
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  14. THAILAN

    THAILAN southernplayalisticmuzik

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    master peace: the underlying theme here of mother nature's love for father time was a great idea but i feel that you failed to deliver it here, your flow was somewhat unbearable and made for a slow and boring read which definately hurts the impact, also your verse was not clear and concise and it may be that i got lost in the flow or bore of your words but it just never connected to me, i didnt even realize what was going on until the end, when it started i was thinking noah and his wife and i dont know, a very confusing and boring read, your lines were stretched and it just feel you need to cover more ground here and efficiently at that because a lot of what you did cover seemed useless and just drug the piece along, you should have focused more on the love and made better references so that when you unvieled who the characters were at the end it would have had a greater impact like an "oh i get it now" instead of "uh, i see what you tried to do but...", i hope that makes sense, as i re-read i catch a few more of the references such as the beginning but it still feels as though something is missing here, the emotion was farce and this was essentially an emo piece or should have been rather, the imagery was er umm, im not sure about this, i just dont like your wording and flow mainly, again the idea was good and i may be rambling on but im searching my mind to finalize my feelings towards this verse, i mean it wasn't terrible by any means but it just didnt make the right connections, i feel as though im trying to put everyone into a box of how their style should be and i dont mean to, i respect your style but the overall take just didnt do it for me, the love should have been more in depth to capture the emotion behind it so that the ending would have been more impactful, the stretched lines may be your style but i think its a fact that quicker and smoother flowing bars aid the progression which in the end makes the read a helluva lot better, good shot though, i think if you worked on this piece a little longer and tied up some loose ends and restructured the flow this would be a standout verse, but as is it was a good idea and a decent shot at delivering it

    speedycalhoun: its like you spun off his idea and did almost exactly what i wish he had done, you captured the emotion well and you delivered the piece on a more personal level, the flow was much more fluid and the verse was a much quicker and satisfying read, its literally as if you capitalized here off his mistakes and delivered nearly the same plot or along the same lines, i enjoyed it here, the ending was much more symbolic and you developed the characters and events well without sounding too nonfictional as if you were just stating facts and narrating past events to lead up to some weak ending, also i appreciated the factual references here, a really enjoyable and interesting piece in my opinion, not much to say here

    overall, i honestly feel as though master was reaching for what speedy accomplished, it was hard to explain exactly how i felt about MP's verse, but after reading speedy's verse it was much easier, its as if speedy did what i wanted/felt that MP had to do to win here, MP's emotion was convulluted with wordy lines and uninteresting wording, he also seemed to narrate moreso than speak on a personal level while speedy's really connected to the reader from beginning to end, also the flows were totally opposite, i really feel MP's biggest downfall was his flow because a good flow will make the worst verse sound so much better and the worst verse will do the exact opposite, here i felt he had a lackluster flow that was stretched and made his verse feel longer than it actually was which is always bad, especially when the ending comes and you're still left unsatisfied, i think i've said enough here and i feel as though the votes should definately be one-sided, with that said im voting for speedycalhoun

    master, just work on the flow and delivering your point better, if you choose an emo piece then make sure your emo is of your strongest aspects of the verse, the plot was a good idea so creatively speaking i think you're there but you just have to deliver it better

    speedy, i enjoyed this and there isn't much advice to give, MP could read your verse and learn a thing or two, some typos i think i noticed but very minimal and never distracting, overall if your flow and creativeness stay consistent you will definately be a tough competitor to tackle, emo and imagery seemed on point for what was needed here


    very good shit guys, keep it up and keep improving
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  15. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

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    Good Battle...

    MP... I thought this was good, yet obvious spin on the picture subject-wise... I do however feel like i enjoyed the verse, and felt like the hook finally revealing Father time at the end was a good ending... The format of it was good, and the flow was good.. I wasn't blown away, but it was a solid drop.

    SC... Nice verse. The idea was very original, and very dope... It wasn't just the idea, but the execution brought a good flow and format. I also enjoyed the first person view in the piece.

    I think speedy was more entertaining, and flowed a little bit better... Mechanically it was very close, but i think Speedy's flip on the topic was pretty creative... Vote SC.
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  16. Daht Cahm

    Daht Cahm The Poster Child

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    Okay instead of breaking both down like I usually do I will talk about both at the same time, because you both used the same picture, which makes them easier to compare. No apples and oranges here. Speedy you took more of an outside view. I love how you added the other planets. And the “Pluto Luvs Earth”. Brilliant. It was like a love letter gone wrong. And I enjoyed it from start to finish. A few mechanical problems but not even worth mentioning further than that. Where Master you took more of a biblical shot at it. Which I think worked out really well. It’s a very small thing but the word “thus” sort of upset me, it seemed forced there, like you couldn’t think of anything else to match. I know thus is a great word, and it’s biblical so it fits with the theme. But there was no other terms like it in the piece. But that doesn’t hold a candle to your verse. The people taking from the land, and the tears and father time, I loved it. This was a very hard choice.

    But I felt like the love letter was more of an enjoyable theme. It explained the beauty of Mother Nature and the world better I think. This is what I see in the picture. And the blue as in sad and in literal terms was outstanding.

    Both were very well done and I enjoyed both. But Speedy edged it in my eyes.
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  17. -Sephiroth-

    -Sephiroth- Geostigmatic

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    Another close battle this week, lol.

    Basically i felt Master Peace started really nicely, Speedy kind of started off slow but as the verse went on i really got into it. Both were nice, i enjoyed the read from both and really don't have any gripes with either verse. I caught the flow on both peices and noone really outshined the other mechanically that much, only thing that stood out was the approach each took on the pic. Both were good reads, but Speedy's verse left more of an impression on me, so vote - Speedy Calhoun, good battle though.
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  18. Stars€reen

    Stars€reen forever

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    nice battle guys


    Peace- wow this was a good drop, had some of the inner makings for a better verse but pretty dope no doubt

    Speedy- had some really nice lines and more detail...


    7.0 vs 7.5 speedy
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  19. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    5-1 Speedy...

    Speedy missed a link so he wins 4-1
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