[WK/45] 5. Reptilian (1-0) v. 6. the marshall (3-3) (Vote!)

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Quriosity, Aug 20, 2012.

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  1. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    [​IMG]
    RULES & REGULATIONS

    DEADLINES

    [01] - The deadline for verses is Thursday @ 11:59pm EST.
    [02] - The deadline for extensions is 24 hours ONLY, making it Friday @ 11:59pm EST.
    [03] - The deadline for voting is Sunday @ 11:59am EST.​

    VOTING

    [04] - You must post at least 5 valid voting links within your match.
    [05] - Within those 5 links, you must be sure to vote on both the Championship and Contender matches.
    [06] - Votes must be at least 2 full lines of feedback per competitor followed by the competitor's name in which you choose to vote for.
    [07] - Voting a tie result is deemed a failure to vote.
    [08] - Voting links must be posted in your battle thread with the Champ and Contender matches labeled clearly.
    [09] - Votes changed after 1 hour of posting will be deemed a failure to vote.
    [10] - Voting is open to current participants, past champions, and active RBL moderators ONLY.​

    VERSES

    [11] - All verses are to remain within the limits of 8 to 40 lines. Any breach of line limit must be agreed upon by both competitors prior to a verse being posted. Failure to comply will result in an automatic forfeit by all failing parties.
    [12] - An agreement of a line limit will serve as the maximum allowed; competitors are allowed to post under an agreed limit, but never over. An agreement is not required. Upon failure to agree to a line limit, the second competitor is thereby required to meet the limit set by the first competitor to post.
    [13] - You must not edit your verse once your opponent has posted, who in turn must not edit their verse after the first vote is cast.​
    test
  2. the marshall

    the marshall New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    63
    Here...see if dude shows.
    test
  3. Reptilian

    Reptilian I need live meals.

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Messages:
    317
    Checkin' in for my first "legit" win.

    PS: I showed.
    test
  4. the marshall

    the marshall New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    63
    I apologize in advance.

    this twerp cant spit flames...fella everything you do is quite lame
    i'll put an end to this reptilian with more impact than the 1st ice age
    you're a snitch n a bitch, Rep'll dime you out for a cost
    plus...when he tattles, its kind of like snake skin the way he's known to peel off
    you hard ? ...fella you're tough act is at a lost
    reptilians are suppose to have tough skin, bitch your johnson n johnson soft
    im better than you...i'll take this win & take off for a snooze
    faggot the lizard from the amazing spider man was more cold blooded than you
    you're a social cast out, to be honest ridding you is a bit of a sequence
    The way Reptilian plagues mankind, you'd think his hood was the garden of eden
    get slammed to the canvas dock...i'll off ya top with angled shots
    him beating me ? ...that'll put a twist on things harder kurt angles ankle lock
    after last week...stop, that win was phony n you wantin props ?
    fucking pussy...you're style crashed WAY before you ever met the road block
    im packin fella, leading my team like samuel jackson n your the blame
    but since Reptilians fucking with the Marshall, you'll never see this snake on a plane

    16
    test
  5. Reptilian

    Reptilian I need live meals.

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Messages:
    317
    Lol at me talkin shit and being a day late.

    Here's a verse, count it or DQ for being late, whatever marshall wants.


    You're a witness...witless...that's why you're in and out of court/
    It's weird I'm a day late, and you're the one a dollar short/
    How you scoldin with filler? I'm bold and i'm illa/
    You know I'm sick - Reptiles hold salamanilla/
    Split tongue is so sharp I'll leave you standin there, partial/
    Put a target on ya chest and you could watch me Air Marshall/
    Your team will scatter - like y'all played some extra roles in Jaws/
    When this Man gets Touched - his face got 2 lines like it's Pause/
    Mind's gone plus i hate you, mix 'em together and you lost/
    Step into my office: I Fire Marshall, what's a worker to a boss?
    Hopin' that you smoke becuz my lines are pretty kushy/
    Kim Kardashian type flow - yeah your lines are Pretty Pussy/
    Your ass is wide receiver - you watch football and get hard ons/
    MVP of Rap Music - and not the board I Lynched Marsh-on/
    You strapped? With black gats? Well if you got 'em, then pull/
    Or else my can will give you Wings, you'd think it was Red Bull/
    Take ya life after death, you'll get a blown up hearse/
    On your last breath, cut your tongue out & make you spit a bone thugs verse/
    Keep your 9 to 5 cuz you ain't cut for battle checks/
    You could even take my name and still wouldn't have a Rep/


    Yowa.
    test
  6. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    The marshall, eh—not sure how to take this. I truly wasn't feeling the verse. I dug the swag and confidence, and you approached this as if it was a wrap, but most of your lines were corny and poorly executed. A whole lot of forced wording throughout and just horrible setups that detract from the punches' impact. Allow me to explain. Opener was blah. Can't say that it's played as I don't read many verses against Reptilian, or people named similar to Reptile, but it was way too easy to be seen as clever or nice. And you did nothing with it to even make it decent. Also, here, I'll not that internal rhymes and multis are only effective when they (a) make sense and (b) actually rhyme in multiple syllables. Spit flames/quite lame/ice age. Maybe that's not the best example as you're really only rhyming two syllables, but spit and quite don't rhyme. Should've rhymed off of "first ice age". And twerp can't spit flames DOES NOT rhyme with first ice age. Too many/few syllables. Another note, why not just say Reptile, as opposed to Reptilian there? Moving on, out for a cost and known to peel off also don't rhyme. Cost and off do, but try making it multi-syllabic and it'll do wonders for your flow. I didn't like this line, but I'll say that you did at least set it up. Same with Johnson & Johnson line, I just didn't like it. Way too easy of a connection. Also, your misuse of YOUR and YOU'RE is really distracting when reading. Next line is a good example of what I'm getting at. Your setup has nothing to do with the next line. It's really just babbling. Also, better than you/take off and snooze/cold blooded than you DO NOT RHYME. Not to mention, that lizard was dope. Have you seen the movie? Garden of Eden was blah. I don't watch wrestling, but Kurt Angle line was cleanest concept so far. Roadblock was too easy of a nameplay, but second cleanest concept. And I like the idea of a snake on a plane reference with Reptilian going against The Marshall, but you didn't sell me on it. Overall, I was disappointed. This could've been better.

    Reptilian, I'd say I'm equally disappointed here. After reading your verse last week, I considered you a surprise talent, possibly floating under the radar. With a low effort win over the marshall this week, you still may qualify for that description, but this week's verse was a let down for me. I guess I expected more from this match overall. I liked the opening concept, but I see no connection to the setup and punch and thus I don't think you pulled this off. Just wasted a decent concept that should be flipped again. Salamanila was just bragging. Not terrible, but not nice nor relevant. Also, I didn't like the rhyming there. Air Marshall was blah. I've seen a lot of similar weak nameplays these past two weeks. Not impressed. Pause line was poorly done. Setup was irrelevant and punch was eh. Maybe I'm missing something, since I notice you chose to capitalize some of the words. Oh well. Fire Marshall was blah. Pretty pussy line was truly the only line worth restating in this match. Funny, but easy, yet you pulled it off better than anything else. Didn't like the rest. Closer was okay.

    Vote - reptilian, just barely.

    I expected so much more from you two.
    test
  7. SiegeSupreme

    SiegeSupreme Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    3,634
    Honestly this battle was pretty wack to me. Looks like Reptillian didn't try but still I didn't like either verse at all. Nothing fresh or new or witty to keep my attention. It was just a large block of text to me. The best line of the battle went to Reptillians "air marshall" but tbh it wasn't that hard hitting. Unfortunately no other line in this battle was even worth mentioning.

    Vote/Reptilian by a little bit
    test
  8. namix

    namix u flip shit, i refine it

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,228
    marshall
    this twerp cant spit flames...fella everything you do is quite lame
    i'll put an end to this reptilian with more impact than the 1st ice age
    - but, they survived.. i understand the dinosaur angel, but shit, that's still being debated lol. not trying to over critique this, but just didnt work man.

    you're a snitch n a bitch, Rep'll dime you out for a cost
    plus...when he tattles, its kind of like snake skin the way he's known to peel off
    - okay concept, could have used better phrasing

    you hard ? ...fella you're tough act is at a lost
    reptilians are suppose to have tough skin, bitch your johnson n johnson soft
    - great concept, okay execution

    im better than you...i'll take this win & take off for a snooze
    faggot the lizard from the amazing spider man was more cold blooded than you
    - that dude was pretty cold blooded as far as the typical lizard is concerned, no? just didnt make sense man... you thought of a good reference but flipped it the wrong direction.

    you're a social cast out, to be honest ridding you is a bit of a sequence
    The way Reptilian plagues mankind, you'd think his hood was the garden of eden
    - okay concept, but now im really pretty sick of the lizard references bro

    get slammed to the canvas dock...i'll off ya top with angled shots
    him beating me ? ...that'll put a twist on things harder kurt angles ankle lock
    - just glad it wasnt a lizard refeference

    after last week...stop, that win was phony n you wantin props ?
    fucking pussy...you're style crashed WAY before you ever met the road block
    - aiight

    im packin fella, leading my team like samuel jackson n your the blame
    but since Reptilians fucking with the Marshall, you'll never see this snake on a plane
    - i really do like concepts like these, that tie both individuals together... but man, the setup and delivery need work... you actually were solid at coming up with a couple concepts that coulda been nice with the right contextual build-up and execution --- but they fall off when you see things like 'you'll never see this snake on a plane...

    -------
    Reptilian
    You're a witness...witless...that's why you're in and out of court/
    It's weird I'm a day late, and you're the one a dollar short/
    - what?

    How you scoldin with filler? I'm bold and i'm illa/
    You know I'm sick - Reptiles hold salamanilla/
    - so does cantaloupe

    Split tongue is so sharp I'll leave you standin there, partial/
    Put a target on ya chest and you could watch me Air Marshall/
    - man, the wordplay is okay, but the context makes it softer... just saying 'air'... "Air" isn't a typical verb, like your going to 'actively air' someone... i know what you were going for, but just tryna help - some of you guys have decent concepts and just don't have the right wording to bring them to life yet...

    Your team will scatter - like y'all played some extra roles in Jaws/
    When this Man gets Touched - his face got 2 lines like it's Pause/
    - what?

    Mind's gone plus i hate you, mix 'em together and you lost/
    Step into my office: I Fire Marshall, what's a worker to a boss?
    - prob. your best - but after "air marshall" it undermined this hit... same kind of angel

    Hopin' that you smoke becuz my lines are pretty kushy/
    Kim Kardashian type flow - yeah your lines are Pretty Pussy/
    -it made me laugh but not necessarily for the right reasons... hey, i'll still take the laugh, pretty pussy is funny. lol.

    Your ass is wide receiver - you watch football and get hard ons/
    MVP of Rap Music - and not the board I Lynched Marsh-on/
    - this was your best.

    You strapped? With black gats? Well if you got 'em, then pull/
    Or else my can will give you Wings, you'd think it was Red Bull/
    - sooo played... played since the first time I 'read bull'

    Take ya life after death, you'll get a blown up hearse/
    On your last breath, cut your tongue out & make you spit a bone thugs verse/
    - haha, dope imagery.

    Keep your 9 to 5 cuz you ain't cut for battle checks/
    You could even take my name and still wouldn't have a Rep/
    - okay....


    ---------------
    VERDICT:

    Half way through Rep's read, i thought Marsh was actually going to take this. But then Rep came up with a couple punches that stood out from anything else written. Pretty even match. If Marsh worked in more than just the Reptilian play it would have been interesting... but can anyone argue that this is the line of the match?

    On your last breath, cut your tongue out & make you spit a bone thugs verse/

    - i'm a wordplay head, but that imagery was solid and funny.

    Vote - Reptilian
    test
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