[Wk 4] 19. Craccer_Jacc 0-1 v. 20. Blackanese 0-1 v. 21. Bodian 0-1 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Quriosity, Mar 3, 2008.

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  1. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    [​IMG]

    ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations -----

    "GENERAL RULES"

    VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: 16 ≤ YOUR VERSE ≤ 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    • Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent

    • Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    • If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants
    • CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    • Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics
    • A failure to show will result in a loss by default
    • If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 2 voting links in order to claim victory
    • A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    • If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    • Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.




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    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST

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  2. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

    Joined:
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    *strolls in looks at Got Life?* check'n in *strolls out*
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  3. Bodian

    Bodian Mahatmaghandi Warholishit

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    Im here. ( Rhymaholik )

    I should be 0-0 since I started over again, but its all good.

    I may need a slight extension if possible as Im just now seeing this.


    - wP.
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  4. Blackanese

    Blackanese BlackaneseCantRap.com

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  5. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

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  6. Blackanese

    Blackanese BlackaneseCantRap.com

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    cool with me so ill post tommorrow also.....
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  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    Blackanese... i just saw one of your votes and i have to give u a warning...

    votes are supposed to have two lines of criticism on each verse...

    for the vote to be valid...

    or it doesn't count...

    i lost two votes myself last week because of this mistake and i'd hate to see u lose on a technicality...
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  8. Blackanese

    Blackanese BlackaneseCantRap.com

    Joined:
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    You're standing at a grave. Who's grave is it? What type of thoughts/feelings rush through your mind? What happens? Expand.
    (Author NYSE)

    She's Gone....

    so this is my "Long Distance Kiss"

    excuse me miss sweet dreams i'll prolly see you on the downtime...
    i dreamt about you last night and got to see you smile...
    it was a strawberry scent so strong i forgot to breathe...
    nah im kidding, but really it took my breath away...
    im guessing yesterday you didnt hear me calling you...
    i had to talk to you ive fallin for youima a mess today...
    if i could walk with you id prolly have a better day...
    its not possible or probably just forget it then..
    so whats your favorite song and we could sing along...
    or i could write another one and riddle you a poem...
    i remember all the things you love and how to make you laff...
    come on laff, its a good thing to help the time pass..
    cuz september was another month 2 years to be exact..
    forever isnt what it seems forever never lasts.
    but the time is moving too fast im lost in the mix...
    so i really cant miss on this long distance kiss...



    16 g/l to rymaholik and craccer jacc
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  9. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

    Joined:
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    You awaken to find that your whole life been a lie. What were you lied about? How was this discovered? What will you do now? Expand.
    (Desenuts)





    my head leaves my pillow eyes playen peek a boo with the sun focus still owed
    still cold from the tale told 16 years old dont know my dna... so
    i was sold a new name new family dressed in clones clothes
    modern day pinochio triple helix plays the strings
    my life is pipe dreams emotion fiends stole seamless
    mission impossible obsticles from a lacc of fetis
    taken from the cleaners yea moms playing genius
    i was in the car seat screaming at the demons
    grab my mouth barely breathing choken on tears n cheezits
    quietly defeated can hear moms cryen "HAVE U SEEN HIM"
    then her memories vacant her smell can almost taste it in my baby blanket
    your tellen me it's all a lie baccs feeling the shank's lips
    it hurts to much to die or try to change my bum luck
    i know i'm not dead so i must be strong as fuck
    almost choked on my brunch when my fake moms bursts in the kitchen screaming .... DUCK!!​





    You wake up to make breakfast when suddenly there's a knock at the door. You look outside and the police are waiting impatiently. Expand.






    i hit the floor with this whore called mom johnny law at the door guns drawn
    had to force my arms to pull my body to the bacc
    moms grabben saccs choppen plants gas'n down hallways.... i'm stucc tryna light a match
    could hear the sound of dispatch armed n dangerous out the window crowden neighbors
    and the strangest part is i'm tryna help save us
    mom shoots into the garage and starts the range up
    i spark up a flame
    police smash the door and start the raid
    toss the match with a flash of 2 fingas
    hop in the passenger acten singer
    moms smashes the gas past the poparazzi blinkers
    but these flashes have features
    bullets flyen through as i'm try'n to regroup then i see my moms shirt is inked up
    barley missed the tree trunk
    moms telling me she's sorry about the lies tryna stay alive Mary J on the speakers
    i wanna live to see her die
    on the blocc weeven moms screaming like heathens
    we're spotted like cheetahs
    chased by a heard of hallucinaten zebras
    notice the man with the trash dosent see us
    i yell Jesus the range crashes into his ass tires screachen and 3 flips
    juss as i see this evidant doom Got Life? shakes me out my stuper and hands me a couple more shrooms..​




    *strolls out*
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  10. Bodian

    Bodian Mahatmaghandi Warholishit

    Joined:
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    Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
    "Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
    "I don't know," Alice answered.
    "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."



    Farley was an ill-tempered, cantankerous old bastard,
    His own master,
    And the man of the house... that very seldom would show laughter.
    So one would suppose after the beatings he'd bludgeoned her with...
    ...That his wife had become numb to the hits,
    From his thunderous fists.
    But not numb in the sense she no longer felt his hands...
    ...More numb in the sense she'd turn away those who tried to help her stand.
    And not numb in the sense that she never yelped or sang,
    Over the welts that stang...
    ...But his consummate efforts devoured her -
    In the clutches of this rabid wolf she became a helpless lamb,
    Without a leg to stand.
    A mere fallen star that glowed in the distance,
    As her world was transformed from technicolor to monochrome in an instant.
    But that first time he struck her,
    It also choked her of the only pride she felt.
    And that night she fell, but refused to retreat inside her shell...
    ...and issue any cries for help,
    Instead she waited, to make sure this tyrant dwelled in a life of hell...


    ...So beside herself, she plotted and planned,
    To greet his rotten demands,
    With the firm reposte of her hands.
    And unbeknown to this villainous raptor, she was filling with rapture...
    ...at the sheer thought me killing this bastard.
    She tried for weeks,
    Until eventually he was resigned to sleep...
    ...and mesmerised so deep,
    He didn't even notice her dive to reach,
    A hacksaw thats pristine silver blade shines with each,
    And every thrusting stroke against his flesh, in the nights deceit.
    An evil smile wryly creeps, across Alice's smiling features...
    ...As with the hacksaw held firmly,
    She cuts through the limbs of this violent creature.
    In the kitchen she sits and wickedly picks through flesh and bone,
    With his head mounted upright on the table,
    She had kept it cold, refusing to let him go...
    Then suddenly, she thought she heard his booming footsteps cascading the stairs,
    It was the way he had always done,
    Its distinct sound had now made her aware,
    So from her quaint worktop in the kitchen, Alice patiently stared...
    ...again clutching the hacksaw tightly, as she was unstable and scared.
    The looming shadow grew closer,
    And she felt the first signs of passing guilt...
    ...but as it drew towards the light,
    She realised it was their boy, Ryan, only wrapped in quilts.
    He dropped his glass of milk instantly,
    Upon exposing his mother's confounding secret...
    ...the tumble glass was fumbled and smashed into more than a thousand pieces.
    And Ryan burst into tears after confronting her with stark dismay,
    As his eyes bled the words only his heard could say.
    In the darkness lay his Father,
    Decapitated of his limbs and his head,
    But "Don't cry over spilt milk..." was the only thing that she said.
    So one would suppose after the beatings he'd bludgeoned her with...
    ...That his wife had become numb to the hits,
    From his thunderous fists.
    But not numb in the sense she no longer felt his hands...
    ...More numb in the sense she'd turn away those who tried to help her stand.
    And not numb in the sense that she never yelped or sang,
    Over the welts that stang...
    ...But his consummate efforts devoured her -
    In the clutches of this rabid wolf she became a helpless lamb.



    No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk​
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  11. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    I don't understand what's going on in this thread .. can a mod clean or atleast clear up why there are 3 verses in here? ..

    nvm.

    ohhhhhhhhhhhh makes a LOT more sense now

    Got Life said my verse stood in his earlier post, whats up with this?

    The verse isnt recycled from ANYWHERE. I swear. Check wherever you must, if you find it anywhere then I'll accept the loss but as it stands I showed up and posted a fresh verse. I did nothing wrong here man. Come on now...

    I just wanna compete.

    editted out.
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  12. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
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    fuck it .. I'll just vote ..

    1. Bodian
    2. Craccer_Jacc
    3. Blackanese

    I think Blackanese gave this up without any struggle or hint of fight .. 16 lines aren't going to win against 2 verses that are using more toward to the limit allowed .. so there was only 2 verses in the running here .. and of them the one I enjoyed most was the guy I don't understand why he's posting in here .. Craccer's verses was straight and the use of 2 scenarios actually worked with this piece .. story was decent and the verse was competently written .. however I just felt that Bodian edged that contest with marginally better mechanical aspects whilst being on par if not slightly more interesting with his content ..
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  13. Daht Cahm

    Daht Cahm The Poster Child

    Joined:
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    I agree, it's very hard to compete with such a short verse. Especially when it lacks a lot of content. The verse about the mom decapitating her husband was good in depth, could follow the story and had very nice imagery. But the one part where it says this is the first time he hit her... I was sort of confused, because before that it was talking about him hitting her all the time.

    The one about the lie and the cops, what was the lie? That he was adopted? That what I got out of it but why were the cops there? It was very "in the moment" and without a back story or anything it's hard to follow. One could assume he was adopted and pissed off, which is okay. But I have no idea why the cops were there. And I was confused about the zebras and such until the end.


    Pretty close, both good in different ways. But my vote goes to Bodian.
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  14. Daht Cahm

    Daht Cahm The Poster Child

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    Well then I guess by default my vote goes to Craccer haha. (Not to down play his verse in the least).
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  15. C.Jacc

    C.Jacc New Member

    Joined:
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    i'm gonna win by default... *YES YES HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*


    bodian had a more complete verse then mine i was rushen.. so hats off to u kiko...
    no i dont think u got me by a landslide but u did get me ..get me ontime next time. yo blacc knees i dont even gotta say nutten u seasoned enough to already know.


    the lie was he was kidnapped
    spotted like a cheetah hallucinaten zebras = chased by cops ..... juss the way i see things



    i only did this cause without bodians verse it's kinda redundant.
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  16. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
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    well...

    Blackanese posted a decent piece... 16 lines... i think the flow was off but i'd most definantly have to hear it in audioi cuz some people can speak lines differently than read...

    craccer jacc posted an abstrakt piece... it was pretty dope if i can get through the rhyme structure of the piece... i think u need to take that bold shit off though... it really messes with reading the verse... i originally posted ALL my verses in bold and i learned myself that people prefer the skinny...

    also it was weird how got life apeared out of no where...

    and Baron... what can i say? he had the best piece across the board... and why do i say this? it had better flow, better vocab... and the story interstined me more...

    if Baron can compete my vote goes to him... because it WAS the best verse in this thread period...

    but if not...

    vote craccer jacc... for putting more effort into his piece than blackanese...
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  17. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Dude, I asked you and you said it was cool. Lol.

    Please dont do me like this now.

    Its not like Jacc will catch a loss anyway even if I win (as votes stand of course...) and my reason for posting 'late' was genuine, and agreed by you in this thread up until you editted.

    Like I said, Im just here to compete, the verse is fresh and you will not find it re-used from anywhere. I can guarantee that. Just lemme take part...

    Ok...the rule currently stands as:

    If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants ... in light of this I will ok Baron's verse...

    which puts the vote count in his favor.

    Craccer the person that finishes 2nd does not recieve a loss so rest assured from that...

    I feel that that is the only fair decision in this case, but note that this rule will now be changed to limit the extension to only 24 hours.

    I hope that settles this matter...Q feel free to adjust this if you feel differently.

    The vote count currently stands as 3-0-0 in favor of Baron, Craccer, and Black in respective order.

    ^ Hey Dougie, you need to vote for who you think came first, second and third.

    Just letting you know before you're asked to edit it...
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  18. Dougie G

    Dougie G New Member

    Joined:
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    Blackanese: Well first of all i think you posted a no-show verse and both of ur opponents showed, so really I dont feel the need to say anything about ur verse.

    cracca: I feel as though it was a pretty nice verse, but the flow was everywhere, I mean i felt as though the speakler was speaking so fast, it was like he was on crack, too hard for this reader to follow.

    Bodian: I actually liked this verse a lot, you told a complete story that was both understandble and very entertaining.

    Vote: Bodian for a more entertainiogn verse
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  19. Bodian

    Bodian Mahatmaghandi Warholishit

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  20. inkwell (chris)

    inkwell (chris) Spontaneous Bop Prosody

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    voting deadlines over and i only read bodians verse, which was good, and bodian is baron? if so good to see you back your verse agaist me a year ago was dope as fuck.

    edit: also u should start using baron mynd again.. i still think thats one of the sickest names ive ever seen. if bodian isnt baron then... disregard.
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