[Wk/17] RBL INTRO MATCH #9 MW GrimaceMcgee 1-1 Vs. #10 breathlesss 0-0

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Extreme Venom, Aug 29, 2011.

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  1. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

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    RAPMUSIC BATTLE LEAGUE






    RBL WEEK 17


    RBL INTRO MATCH



    Stipulations:

    Voters will decide what Weight Class Breathless will be






    -Check Ins-

    Checking In is Mandatory.

    All are to check in by WENDS 8/31/11 9:00pm Pacific Time.

    not doing so will result in being docked Votes or being ruled a no Show.





    -Due dates-

    ALL BATTLES ARE DUE ON SAT Sept 3rd 11:59PM PST....
    VOTES ARE DUE MON Sept 5th, 9PM PST


    posting your verse past the deadline will cost you 1 vote automatically per day.

    If there are battles with very little or no votes, those battles will stay open and the new week will be on hold until there are votes in those matches.
    (Voting is considered open until Mods close matches)

    -Voters Guide-

    For a Garunteed Qualified vote please use the following template:

    ( CLICK HERE for More Info on How to Vote With the Template)



    One Per emcee & your done!

    -----------------------------------------------


    OPENER: ?
    FLOW: ?
    METAPHORS: ?
    VOCABULARY: ?
    HUMOR: ?
    PUNCHLINES: ?
    PERSONALS: ?
    NAMEPLAY: ?
    WORDPLAY:?
    VISUALS: ?
    RHYME SCHEME:?
    CREATIVITY:?
    CLOSER:?

    Overall:?

    -2-3 line comment on your break down-

    Vote= ???



    -------------------------------------------------

    Template votes are rarly overturned.





    -Line Limit-

    Minimum 12 -- Maximum 30
    Agree with opponent on check in
    If there is no agreement, 2nd emcee to post must match 1st persons verse
    (2nd emcee can post less but not more lines then his opponent)


    -Voting-

    You Must Post Links to 5 Battles you Voted on
    Each Battler is required to vote on at least 5 Battles
    1 Vote deduction for each battle not voted on.

    Votes must be explained, No Hate Votes, Crew Votes, Revenge Votes

    Everyone Must vote on ALL Title matches or Contender matches

    -General Rules-

    1st emcee to post can't edit after 2nd emcee posts
    2nd emcee can't edit after the first vote is made
    No Biting or Recycling, if Caught your out of the RBL
    Bitching, Crying, Freeposting, Swaying. Whining..
    Beefing, Cursing, Spamming & other forms of Badmanner
    Is strictly to go in the Beef, Magazine, Predictions, or Hookups
    (If broken the Mod has the right to Edit & Clean Up Threads)
    New rules will be voted on by the Mods & Members of the RBL in the Rules & regulations thread.
    Mods will Adjust rules according to circumstance.
    Questions, Suggestions, Ideas, Problems.. Contact the Mod!​





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    test
  2. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Joined:
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    inwardly checked

    I don't mind how many bars

    or who goes first

    whatever you prefer is fine

    *(edit) i got a little bored motivation and wrote up 20 bars already, if you wanna go with that
    test
  3. GrimaceMcgee

    GrimaceMcgee Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    761
    post however many you got and ill match
    test
  4. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
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    Alright mister Mcgee, I guess you're really just an alcoholic Irishman, dawg,
    in that case, why don't you go wallow in your sorrow filled suicidal thoughts.
    You've been lucid dreaming if you think you can compete against my deeper malice quips.
    You rap like a horror story, yer stuck in the nightmare, it must suck havin' sleep paralysis. [1]
    Speakin' like some kind of mad scientist slash mathematician, you're a freak nerd, that is it.
    My darkness turns beakers black and uncapped Erlenmeyer flasks vacuous with a weaker catalyst.
    You're inactive, and my reaction is this, them bullets you been firin' from your rifle are blank shots.
    Actin' like a sniper...shit, don't quit yer day job, Seal Team 6 ain't hirin' rap's Michael J. Fox. [2]
    Yer shaky at best baby, maybe an eighth of a tenth of a lesser form, way beneath me.
    With the aftermath of Irene's wrath, now you might actually have some flow up in York, PA, G.
    I don't mean to mock and mimic where a disaster was at, but, man up, you're awful bitchish.
    You need to learn how to grin and bear it, otherwise, quit callin' yerself Grimace.
    It's ridiculous, even your head shots aren't marrin' me. I put molten lead drops in your bloodlines,
    and literally pencil vein ya. [3] Starting when the red stops at yer arteries, your head pops and your lungs die,
    but i ain't stressin' it. The second you get one sigh from me is, the instant hell becomes white and freezes.
    Yea, I got a strong resemblance to Jesus, I'm a force to be reckoned with, you get sunned by this theist.
    The genius of battle rap? Ha, don't get smart with me. I'll rip grim, rat-a-tatter his fabric with no guns 'cause they're meaningless.
    They call me breathless 'cause I'm forever on my second wind, dude, I have no trouble breathin', bitch.
    But, I do smoke a lot. C'mon, you know the plot, think of somethin' new man, don't just perceive it, kid.
    I know you believe in magic, so, abracadabra...in a box is a giant purple foam rubber penis tip. [4]



    Explainations...

    [1]Grimace said he has sleep paralysis in some old post
    [2]Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's
    [3]pencil vein ya/Pennsylvania
    [4]don't know if pictures are allowed, but, yea...
    [​IMG]
    test
  5. GrimaceMcgee

    GrimaceMcgee Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
    761
    If its beef I'll spazz, no guns yet I'ma use these punches to beat his ass
    Breathless? Cool I'll choke em till this pussy purple like EEK! the cat
    I'm hungry as fuck! so I'ma feast like a ethiopian with mal-nutrition
    I'll let that .Cal start rippin and leave em looking like the bad guy from Cow and chicken
    Usually I wouldnt care bout this man's health, but greed's a sin that I cant help
    IF he's breathless, I'll hook to a respirator..bring em to life just so I can kill em my damn self!
    One hit get his frame rocked, breatless gonna be beggin for life when the K pop
    My logic is to put the bazooka to his tooth since he wanna sound like Aesop
    I'd call you a cunt and fag, you'd turn the other cheek to a e-honda thunder slap
    You send punches over heads, I'm tryin to knock you out so mine hit directly under that
    He's like family guy, sometimes funny but often random filler of some wack shit
    Me, I'm like Duckman, always rugged and to the point, vicious and considered classic
    Got that I'ma ball hog, you know I'm a shooter swag so dont ask if my rougers blast
    He labeled himself as a sex offender, and I'm willing to bet there's some truth in that
    You a a light drizzle, I'm more of the typhoon type bitch boy you cant stop my force
    Time for the ultra violence, my bullets'll give em the ol' in-out no clockwork orange
    If its food for thought, my bars are willingly accepted, yours gotta be force fed
    I got those fist of the north star type punches, I land one and it'll explode heads
    I hope you prepared to lose, anything I drop you are not comparing too
    And to end this all..I'ma just say your music is garbage and damn near unbearable

    *edit, grammar fix*
    dont get somthin..ask or dont vote..tho its all simple/basic shit
    test
  6. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,201
    Vote: Grimace Mcgee

    Very good battle. It's a shame this league is wrapping up because breathless has potential if he cuts out some pointless filler and unnecessary explanations. A lot of your stuff was extremely stretched to add in more content, some of it was okay but nothing that stood out in particular.

    Grimace had the clearly better verse, probably the best this week. Tons of nice punches, some shit that made me laugh, good references (clockwork orange), and smooth rhymes.

    Breathless? Cool I'll choke em till this pussy purple like EEK! the cat

    He labeled himself as a sex offender, and I'm willing to bet there's some truth in that

    You a a light drizzle, I'm more of the typhoon type bitch boy you cant stop my force
    Time for the ultra violence, my bullets'll give em the ol' in-out no clockwork orange


    ^ all nice. You're worthy of being HW my dude.
    test
  7. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

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    Breathless' verse felt really really stretched, instead of just focusing on landing punches it seems like you tried to pack as much in as possible. The rhyming wasn't amazing, doing stuff like putting kid at the end of a bar to make it rhyme's lazy and you did it like 4 times. The explanations shouldn't be there cus they weren't explaining a reference for a few people who might not get it, it was a picture which was basicly the punchline. Without the pic, the line wouldn't make sense.

    Normally gun bars don't work in text, but the way Grimace did them worked really well. The Clockwork Orange bar was sick. The first time I looked at it it didn't seem like much but when I remembered all the rape scenes with "the old in and out" used in them it come together as a great line. Easily oen of the best verses I've read this week.

    Breathless would be LW

    Vote: Grimace
    test
  8. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Joined:
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    Breathless...
    this verse seemed somewhat lacking, as if was quickly thrown together, almost like you were underestimating the opponent. your use of octameter in a battle rap structure just doesn't go over well, with lines of that length it's difficult to keep the cohesion between bars. there wasn't quite enough multiple inner rhymes to keep the flow recognizable, and the use of explanations is redundant, if you can't make a punch understood by all, then it's ineffective, overall, the verse seemed like it might go over better in audio, but regardless, you just didn't try hard enough..oh, and that 3rd "s" in your name is stupid

    Grimace...
    well, it was pretty on point all the way through, some of the rhymes were forced, but the flow amongst them wasn't, the cartoon references were sorta stupid in a good way, could've been done really bad, but they were highly relevant and well thought through, you had the upperhand in the sense of being about to flip things breathlesss had said topic wise, but that wouldn't have mattered anyhow, you clearly took a more serious attempt at this verse and obviously have a more suitable style for battling...

    Vote: Breathlesss was totally connect foured by Grimace
    test
  9. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

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    Lolwut?
    test
  10. GrimaceMcgee

    GrimaceMcgee Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    761
    Lmao....this guy
    test
  11. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

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    That much is agreeable.
    test
  12. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
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    2,127
    That was hilarious! Riffin on the votes and the lack of perception of what you attempted to do and in various areas actually imo pulled off was worth a chuckle from me. Your keen sense of humor is appreciated.

    Btw,aren't you a girl? Sorry if you are and the guys here kept calling you a dude.


    But with that being said? Grimace took Punches,Humor,Nameplay,Wordplay,Visuals,Personals and Simile by a wide margin.

    I woulda used The Voting Guide but I'm on the laptop and it's trippin so this vote took alot longer than usual...

    VOTE-GRIMACE
    test
  13. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

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    ha, just keepin' it real, and, i'm a dude, this thread may as well be closed now i suppose...
    test
  14. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

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    If y'all feel like voting on another battle try mine vs. Ion. 1 vote is some weak shit, c'mon now.
    test
  15. Ion Metatron

    Ion Metatron I Punch Faces 4 Fun

    Joined:
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    OPENER: Grim
    FLOW: Grim
    METAPHORS: Breathless
    VOCABULARY: Breathless
    HUMOR: Grim
    PUNCHLINES: Grim
    PERSONALS: Breathless
    NAMEPLAY: Grim
    WORDPLAY: Grim
    VISUALS: Grim
    RHYME SCHEME: Grim
    CREATIVITY: Grim
    CLOSER: Grim

    Overall this was a good battle.. I think Breathless has some potential but he needs to take more time to develop his punchlines so he won't have to explain them at the end.. that really hurt his verse.. also Shortening up his Lines abit so they aren't so long will help his flow.. with those two things improved upon I'm sure Breath would be a Problem in the league.. Great verse by Grim.. My Eye Brows are raised.

    Vote= Grim Mcgee
    test
  16. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

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    Grimace mcgee Wins and goes 2-1

    Breathless Loses & will be Classed as Middle Weight 0-1
    test
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