[Wk/16]RBL GATEKEEPER MATCH #7 MW King John 1-0 Vs. #8 MWGK smittyrythym 1-0

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Extreme Venom, Aug 5, 2011.

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  1. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    10,444
    RAPMUSIC BATTLE LEAGUE


    RBL WEEK 16

    RBL GATEKEEPER MATCH




    Stipulations:


    If King john Wins he will advance to the next Weight Class..
    If Gatekeeper Wins he may challenge for the MW #1 Contendership
    Or Challenge the HW Gatekeeper







    -Check Ins-

    Checking In is Mandatory.

    All are to check in by SUN 8/7/11 9:00pm Pacific Time.

    not doing so will result in being docked Votes or being ruled a no Show.





    -Due dates-

    ALL BATTLES ARE DUE ON THURS AUGUST 11th 11:59PM PST....
    VOTES ARE DUE SAT AUGUST 13th, 9PM PST


    posting your verse past the deadline will cost you 1 vote automatically per day.

    If there are battles with very little or no votes, those battles will stay open and the new week will be on hold until there are votes in those matches.
    (Voting is considered open until Mods close matches)

    -Voters Guide-

    For a Garunteed Qualified vote please use the following template:

    ( CLICK HERE for More Info on How to Vote With the Template)



    One Per emcee & your done!

    -----------------------------------------------


    OPENER: ?
    FLOW: ?
    METAPHORS: ?
    VOCABULARY: ?
    HUMOR: ?
    PUNCHLINES: ?
    PERSONALS: ?
    NAMEPLAY: ?
    WORDPLAY:?
    VISUALS: ?
    RHYME SCHEME:?
    CREATIVITY:?
    CLOSER:?

    Overall:?

    -2-3 line comment on your break down-

    Vote= ???



    -------------------------------------------------

    Template votes are rarly overturned.





    -Line Limit-

    Minimum 12 -- Maximum 30
    Agree with opponent on check in
    If there is no agreement, 2nd emcee to post must match 1st persons verse
    (2nd emcee can post less but not more lines then his opponent)


    -Voting-

    You Must Post Links to 5 Battles you Voted on
    Each Battler is required to vote on at least 5 Battles
    1 Vote deduction for each battle not voted on.

    Votes must be explained, No Hate Votes, Crew Votes, Revenge Votes

    Everyone Must vote on ALL Title matches or Contender matches

    -General Rules-

    1st emcee to post can't edit after 2nd emcee posts
    2nd emcee can't edit after the first vote is made
    No Biting or Recycling, if Caught your out of the RBL
    Bitching, Crying, Freeposting, Swaying. Whining..
    Beefing, Cursing, Spamming & other forms of Badmanner
    Is strictly to go in the Beef, Magazine, Predictions, or Hookups
    (If broken the Mod has the right to Edit & Clean Up Threads)
    New rules will be voted on by the Mods & Members of the RBL in the Rules & regulations thread.
    Mods will Adjust rules according to circumstance.
    Questions, Suggestions, Ideas, Problems.. Contact the Mod!​





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  2. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

    Joined:
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  3. King John

    King John ♛♔♚♕♛♔♚♕

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,814
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  4. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

    Joined:
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    1,147
    aww hell duh king

    "When you kill a king, you don't stab him in the dark.. you kill him where the entire court can watch him die."

    John dont 'tier a head' of anyone else within this league but himself
    You're a 'waist/waste of a brain', but that doest mean your crown is seen as a 'Belt'
    He'll wanna 'call-out the L.A.P.D.' with the way I'm leavin his health-
    Cuz I wont spare the 'Rod, knee King' and beat em until he bleeds from the welt

    Take 'half of a month' cuz your raps '2-week' for a 'weak-won' win when your coochie hurts
    'the fuck is this ♛♔♚♕♛♔♚♕? that a graphic sig or your verse get wrote on a gucci purse?
    How he expectin to jester floors when his only 'court/date's wont let him score
    C'mon are keys' (monarchies) to a palace-door what you need and more to 'empress' a whore?
    You wantin a 'Castle'? Then I'll switch things up and 'trade your place' to a rookie
    And if rap was 'Tekken' you would catch a wreckin for havin the face of a Pussy!!
    This fagot is fake, involved with more 'sacks' than Alexander the Great
    And couldnt get a bitch to give him 'head' if he was actually 'Henry the 8th'
    Im scorchin this flake in 'A Gust of Flames' when I have him burnt to the stake
    And then piss-out the blaze cuz the throne you claim it came with urinal cakes!

    I'm 'heir-conditioned' for this battle so lets turn the heat up Lebron
    Inherit his Pawns without En-Passant when I take a 'Peon, the John'
    'Shit'll get smoked dawg' like cheech n chong, you aint ever handled the glock sir
    Havin a fagot son was the only time you ever caught 'prince on the pauper'
    (prints on the popper)
    You're the second to try and step against mine, got 'sliced from 16', cried F.B.I.
    Guillotine neck and spine when I'm shootin the shit and hit the 'Lou', minus X-V-I
    (think about that...)
    You aint 'big-slick' with rhymes, was never 'suited', when I Ace-King Deth is his next in line
    For a veterans prime you are way behind me and it's not from clocks set on Texas time
    Represent the T-X? Then I'll spray the 'Tech' with a shooting-spree like no other
    I'm over punkin his team, like Bobby Knight, now HOOSIER KING motherfucker

    :funny: Check-Mate


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  5. King John

    King John ♛♔♚♕♛♔♚♕

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Messages:
    2,814
    Think he a pro? He aint shit he can't HANG WITH KING, DANG HE'S WEAK
    Talk shit then I'm BANGING THESE, the gun'll "Pop!...Fly" welcome to the MAJOR LEAGUES
    He says he "Pull Hos (Pujols)" but he's DRAWN AND A LIAR
    No guns, so don't believe he's DRAWING TO FIRE
    He's on the "down low", but I don't mean he TALKS THROUGH A WIRE
    I mean he's taking more "shots to the ass" than BONDS AND MCGUIRE

    You know I'd cock back and let it BURN WITH THE HEAT or beat you till you SLUR WHEN YOU SPEAK n have your WORDS ON THE STREET
    You think you're WORRYING ME? Naw,your Writing Sucks so when you Type Shit Up no one gives a "Flying Fuck".....BIRDS AND THE BEES

    Dope rhymes, I go HARDER THAN A PIFF OF THAT WHITE
    Stan Lee with the schemes,they "MARVEL" AT THE SHIT THAT I WRITE
    So he'll meet a "Grim Fate' when I ROCK HIM LIKE THE THING
    And your "punches more stretched" then Reed Richards BOXING IN A RING
    I'll Human Torch your porch when I'm POPPING WITH THE BEAM
    You're Sue Storm when there's war, nobody SPOTS YOU AT THE SCENE
    He's already in a box like a comic strip, no need to HAND BLAST THIS WHORE
    So I can't understand why yall would think he's FANTASTIC FOR(Four)

    I got goons in the street that'll ALL BRAKE YOUR LIMBS, Scarface shit, I got RAW BASE IN BRICKS
    Pure coke,best in ALL STATE AND SHIT, while you the type to "Step on Ki's (keys)" like TOM HANKS IN BIG

    It wa a Slaughter for your Daughter when I grabbed the WEAPON AND SMILED
    She was like WHY ME?, I said Sorry girl, this is just your "DESTINY,CHILD"
    So it's "for real(Pharrell)" when I'm "producing" the "Clips(Clipse)" that'll put an END TO HIS KIDS
    And it'll "Burn" when I "Usher" your bitch to the RIVER OF STYX
    Now he's Saddened by what Happened when I used them SEMIS AND TOOLS
    So Yall Can See how I used R&B to give RHYTHM THE BLUES

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    Fuck an expo, if you need to explain ya shit, then it aint any good
    test
  6. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    142
    smittyrythym
    opener: 5
    flow: 2
    metaphors: 9
    vocabulary: 8
    humor: 3
    punchlines: 4
    personals: 4
    nameplay: 8
    wordplay: 5
    visuals: 3
    rhyme scheme: 3
    creativity: 6
    closer: 8
    total: 68


    king john
    opener: 5
    flow: 7
    metaphors: 4
    vocabulary: 2
    humor: 6
    punchlines: 8
    personals: 6
    nameplay: 1
    wordplay: 7
    visuals: 7
    rhyme scheme: 5
    creativity: 6
    closer: 2
    total: 66


    VOTE: smittyrythym


    I'm glad the point system in place cause I had a hard time judging it. KJ, your marvel and baseball themes were so dope. Your set-ups to your punches, however, leave a lot to be desired. It ruined your only name play (which was also your closer). I like to keep advice simple and if there's one thing in your verse that would have put it over, it would be the set-ups to your already good punchlines.

    Smitty, when I say dumb it down, I'm not talking about using gun play. I'd like to consider myself above-average in my knowledge of European history and even I didn't catch the Louis the XVI reference. You can be clever and relatable. My advice would be to focus on your source material and really expand upon those concepts when using them against an opponent. THat will improve both the flow, visuals and punchlines.
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  7. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2011
    Messages:
    7,040
    Smitty:

    OPENER: 6, wasn't the best line ever but had some clever wordplay
    FLOW: 3, it jumped around quite a bit, especially from the first 4 bars to the rest
    METAPHORS: 8
    VOCABULARY: 8
    HUMOR: 2
    PUNCHLINES: 6, the King stuff was done extremely well, however at times it felt like you weren't connecting punches as well as you normally do
    PERSONALS: 3, you didn't have much to work off
    NAMEPLAY: 9, all the king stuff, monarchies, jesters etc
    WORDPLAY: 7, it wasn't the best wordplay I've seen from Smit but the medievel stuff was great use of wordplay
    VISUALS: 4
    RHYME SCHEME: 5
    CREATIVITY: 6
    CLOSER: 8, good linking of the teams he worked for into the punchline

    Overall:75

    The whole theme of castles and such was very well done and hit hard. At times though it felt like your punches didn't hit that well, and some of the lines just didn't work (Lou the 16th, Rodney King has been done to death). The rhyming wasn't amazing and mind blowing but was good. You do sort of need to dumb it down, a lot of your lines need reading a few times to get. Throwing in references to obscure chess rules isn't exactly kind to the reader since most of us will have to google it.

    John:

    OPENER: 4, leagues doesn't rhyme with weak and it wasn't a bar which flows well without the rhyming. The punch itself was quite good but the bars were disjointed
    FLOW: 5
    METAPHORS: 6
    VOCABULARY: 2
    HUMOR: 2, wasn't exactly a comedy verse though
    PUNCHLINES: 7, Fantastic Four bars were fire. Would be higher if they were more insulting or the wordplay/similies were mind blowingly amazing
    PERSONALS: 1
    NAMEPLAY: 2, like personals they just weren't there. The closer used his name but not amazingly, the punch was weak
    WORDPLAY: 6
    VISUALS: 9
    RHYME SCHEME: 6, it was pretty much jsut end rhymes but the multis were impressive
    CREATIVITY: 5
    CLOSER: 2, the set-up was weak and the punch doesn't work. Your guns won't make him sad, they'll kill him

    Overall: 57

    Your set-ups stopped you from throwing proper punches in your verse, which is a problem. Your Fantastic Four stuff was sick and you had some good gun bars, but you weren't landing your punches well enough considering you didn't try to use personals or nameflips. Your rhyme schemes could be improved by using more inner rhymes, though the multis were good.

    Vote: SmittyRhythm

    Both verses were good, but Smitty over powererd him with the king references and such. John's verse was good at what it aimed for (gun play), but it lacked other elements which kept it from being a complete verse capable of winning.
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  8. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,201
    Two completely different styles here.

    Smitty, I honestly have no idea how you write your shit. It's almost like you wikipedia random historical shit and find some obscure way to incorporate it into a rhyme haha. It's hit or miss, this time I found it you missed more often than not. Some of the references were so far-fetched and unnecessary that it sort of took away from your verse.

    You're the second to try and step against mine, got 'sliced from 16', cried F.B.I.
    Guillotine neck and spine when I'm shootin the shit and hit the 'Lou', minus X-V-I


    I understand that's a reference to a toilet and King Louis but it's just so unnecessarily complex, for an underwhelming punch.
    Your wording and flow were definitely off for this battle, the rhythm was changing up, I couldn't really keep a set tempo while I was reading it.
    You had some solid punches, great vocab, personals, etc. I just find it very, very difficult to dig your style. You can say that it "went over my head", which is probably true in some cases, but for the most part your references and metas should be reasonably easy to pick up on.


    King John, VERY dope schemes. Marvel, R&B were great and the Baseball one was decent as well. Felt your whole verse, you stepped it up noticeably from last week. You didn't take a personal approach like Smitty did, but you still pulled your verse off well. We have very different writing styles, but god damn do I dig yours. Very well done, simplicity is key.

    I wish I had more time to review both verses but I don't. I read both over carefully, both came with it but I'm giving it to King John by a bit here. He just had a far more polished, consistent, hard-hitting battle verse as opposed to Smitty's fine piece of literary masterwork.

    Good shit.
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  9. D-MONIK

    D-MONIK Active Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,712
    Smitty

    Have to admit I read ya verse and didn't get a lot of references, I read a.few more times to get them all and they all hit hard even Luis the sixteen, still a paragraphs of expos is too much, dumb it down

    OPENER: 6
    FLOW: 6
    METAPHORS: 8
    VOCABULARY: 8
    HUMOR: 6
    PUNCHLINES: 7
    PERSONALS: 5
    NAMEPLAY: 9
    WORDPLAY: 8
    VISUALS: 6
    RHYME SCHEME:6
    CREATIVITY:9
    CLOSER:6

    King john

    In this complete battle of styles, you took a much simpler approach and through the first read through I thought you took this battle, your flow is uncanny and I appreciated that the references weren't something I have to Google or think about too much, good verse but simplicity does come with a price when your battling someone as creative as smitty, think outside the box a little more and you will be a formidable opponent

    OPENER: 6
    FLOW: 9
    METAPHORS: 7
    VOCABULARY: 6
    HUMOR: 7
    PUNCHLINES: 7
    PERSONALS: 4
    NAMEPLAY: 4
    WORDPLAY: 7
    VISUALS: 6
    RHYME SCHEME:7
    CREATIVITY: 6
    CLOSER: 5

    Overall dope battle I'm not sure what the numbers add up to but my vote is for smitty rhythm

    Vote= smitty rhythm

    Overall:?

    Overall:?
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  10. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,093
    This battle was alot closer than many of you want to think. I'm telling you straight overall it was neck and neck until KING JOHN made this mistake:

    "I got goons in the street that'll ALL BRAKE YOUR LIMBS, Scarface shit, I got RAW BASE IN BRICKS
    Pure coke,best in ALL STATE AND SHIT, while you the type to "Step on Ki's (keys)" like TOM HANKS IN BIG

    It wa a Slaughter for your Daughter when I grabbed the WEAPON AND SMILED
    She was like WHY ME?, I said Sorry girl, this is just your "DESTINY,CHILD"
    So it's "for real(Pharrell)" when I'm "producing" the "Clips(Clipse)" that'll put an END TO HIS KIDS"

    ^^^That is sicc for a mixtape or Open Mic drop. You can't waste valuable bars in a battle against a guy like Smitty who--despite occassionally stretched wordplay--is still attacking pretty consistently from the bell. I mean,KING JOHN had some sweet punches and that whole STAN LEE and FANTASTIC FOUR scheme was tite ( I did something like it 5 years ago) and they were actually a bit more damaging because the power of the punches were more evident without sacrificing creativity.

    But the above bars that I quoted at the start of my post cost K.J. You guys should rematch.

    Smitty? No matter what anyone says DON'T DUMB YOUR VERSE DOWN. Instead? MAKE YOUR WORDPLAY MORE DIRECT. Make your references more clear and keen. I love elevated wordplay but there are times when even I (twice in this verse you dropped) had to go back and read the bar-couplette to get it...and that's because your references and wordplay were more convoluted than they should be man.











    Except for the fact that I gave KING JOHN a well deserved 6 in NAMEPLAY,this was almost exactly my vote.
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  11. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

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  12. Choppa Zhivago

    Choppa Zhivago ★★★★★★★★★★

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  13. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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  14. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

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    Smitty wins 3-2

    King John has Lost to the MW Gatekeeper and becomes the New Gatekeeper for the Middle Weight Class!
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