[WK 16] CONTENDERSHIP: 3. SpeedyCalhoun 2-3 v 4. Eye-Rime 16-2 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Lucifa, May 26, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109



    [​IMG]

    ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations -----

    "GENERAL RULES"

    VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    • Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    • Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    • If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    • CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    • Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics
    • A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    • If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 2 voting links in order to claim victory
    • A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    • If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    • Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.





    "VOTING RULES"

    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST

    • You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    • EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    • Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    • Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    • Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    • Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    • If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on ALL 5 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    • Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    • Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    • PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 4 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    • Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND


    NOTE: NEW VOTING RULES WILL BE ENFORCED!!!

    YOU MUST VOTE ON AT LEAST 5 MATCHES AND POST LINKS IN YOUR THREAD

    CHAMP AND CONTENDER LINKS MUST BE LABELED ACCORDINGLY

    FAILURE TO VOTE AND/OR POST LABELED LINKS WILL RESULT IN VOTE DEDUCTIONS IN YOUR BATTLE

    IF YOUR OPPONENT FAILS TO SHOW, YOU ARE STILL ACCOUNTABLE FOR VOTING ON ALL 5 MATCHES AS WELL AS POSTING THOSE LINKS IN THE VOTING LINKS THREAD AND LABELING THE CHAMP AND CONTENDER RESPECTIVELY!!!
    test
  2. Eye-Rime

    Eye-Rime the intellectual.

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    659
    test
  3. SpeedyCalhoun

    SpeedyCalhoun Obviously...

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    Messages:
    1,291
    test
  4. Eye-Rime

    Eye-Rime the intellectual.

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    659



    "Ode to Life"

    Grew up the youngest of four, but none would adore
    The next twenty-two years that would come and secure
    My seemingly foggy future, which begun as a bore
    Thirsting for fruits of life that my tongue could explore
    I was raised without my father or a gun in the drawer
    Inherently, a mother's love is what'd clung to my core
    Though Pop was still around, we were gum on the floor
    Couldn’t even speak ‘til you were done with the chores
    But Pop worked days and nights just to better the pain
    Putting the food on our table, so we never complained
    Though at times I’d dream of ways to sever the reigns
    Then Ma would always tell me I should treasure his aims
    And that whatever the claim, he only wanted the best
    But piss him off and you couldn’t even measure the vein
    And whether the rain would come as a sign of my tears
    …or not, I cried inside - My mind defined by my fears

    Always wanted to be somebody that was more prolific
    So maybe my Pop would notice and be more efficient
    Always wanted to be somebody that was more terrific
    But God told me that I should’ve been more specific

    Consumed by the rude, in a constant a feud with the cool
    An outcast to the girls and often booed by the dudes
    Ridiculed in my school and what's worst is my own home
    …would pick and poke fun - Guess I was fuel for the fools
    They view as I brood, silently watching ‘em cruise as I lose
    …in life, my footsteps just left me bruised from my shoes
    A tool for the crude, they laughed at my funny clothes
    With my long sleeves soaked from wiping my runny nose
    By middle school, my threads would offend the market
    Still rocking the same fits I was sporting in kindergarten
    A splendid target - The girls were dying to call me lame
    Or big head, or four eyes, but I’m tired of all the names
    So I hit the gym, tipped my brim, and did what the cool do
    …by picking on other kids so I could feel like a fool too

    Always wanted to be somebody that was more prolific
    Cos I never quite measured up to the gorgeous women
    Always wanted to be somebody that was more terrific
    But God told me that I should’ve been more specific

    Turned twenty-two yesterday and my whole life is new
    Cos I’ve started talking to Pop, and soon my wife is due
    The hike is through, and I’ve finally reached my peak
    It’s like life is a piece of meat and I’ve got a bite to chew
    So I type to you, to tell my story of what hype can do
    I stole clothes and talked to women that I’d liked to screw
    And sold drugs, and we’d get high until the night was blue
    …again - All to be in the mix of misfits and the hooligans
    But in the mist of the trip to getting rich, I found true again
    In the corner of a cold cement cell as he drew me in
    He told me that I can be a son of Christ and be saved
    But it took four different times before I finally prayed
    And even now it feels as though I’m fighting the rage
    Trying to stay true to everything I write on this page
    See life is a cage, and God keeps his sight on his slaves
    So right now, as a Father, I only ask that I can be brave
    …for my daughter.

    Always wanted to be somebody that was more prolific
    To be a Father to my daughter and be more efficient
    Always wanted to be somebody that was more terrific
    Hopefully now... my prayers have been more specific



    “All my life I've wanted to be someone;
    I guess I should have been more specific”

    - Jane Wagner -



    test
  5. SpeedyCalhoun

    SpeedyCalhoun Obviously...

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    Messages:
    1,291

    Slave To The Trade
    “All my life I've wanted to be someone;
    I guess I should have been more specific”
    - Jane Wagner -

    __________________________________________________
    He did it for himself, he did it for Dad
    He did it for the pay, being broke was a drag
    He did it for his neighborhood, and the rising crime rates
    Mind state of a man of Justice's blind faith


    Chris had just finished his training, and mentally through it all...
    It was for more than a Police Certificate on his wall
    It was for those who would suffer from the crime at it's worst
    Like his dad, who he saw get killed to lie in a Hearst
    He did it for his daughter, and protection of home
    And protection through each and every section she roamed
    So with that in his mind, he had orally request
    For a partner who affirm the morals he had kept

    So he met Pall - a man of prestige...
    A three-star vet, who always dealt his hand in the league
    They met for the first patrol, they talked a bit
    Pall was quick to talk about the law and what he saw in it
    Chris talked about his daughter, and the home that he built...
    Being a father, and how he saw his only get killed
    And with un-verbal agreements, they started their shift
    And honorable Chris would soon be caught in the mix...

    Their was a call for a unit to quickly approach...
    A "211" in progress. Pall hits it and goes
    They reach a home in the suburbs, but not far from the "hood"
    They see the victim, who starts talking as calm as she could
    "There was a man in my house when I got back from work
    He saw me and ran towards me - I pulled mase out my purse
    Sprayed him, but I think I missed, but he still ran out
    And then I called you before I could see the man out"

    Was he Black?
    "Maybe so..."
    Was he tall?
    "I suppose"
    What did he wear?
    "All black clothes..."
    Facial hair?
    "I don't know!"

    "My lights weren't even on in the house when I opened the door
    So in the dark, everything happened that I told you before..."
    The men thanked her then left, as they sat in the car
    Pall suggested the quick solution, so they could go out to the bar
    Chris gave a confused daze, "This can go one of two ways..."
    Chris still looked confused, Pall said "I guess you choose A"
    The sirens came on, and they rode to the "Hood"
    All the little Black kids stop playing, and like statues hey stood
    "I can't understand, if the crime rate is so high...
    Than why do they let their kids play outside at night?"
    Chris sat in silence, confused by Pall
    Who pulled up to some dudes playing spades on the lawn

    [​IMG]
    ~Several Hours Later~

    Chris sat in the locker room, recalling events...
    That transpire in one night, should he be calling it quits?
    Witnessing an innocent man playing cards with his guys...
    Be pinned with a crime, and then taken along for the ride
    -He should've said something, but now it was to late
    It was over when Pall told him to hand him the mase
    What's the point of Justice when enforcer's aren't just?
    But that's how the ball rolls, he's just caught in the mess ​
    test
  6. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    this battle makes me feel like Simon Cowell .. :

    well .. was this worth all the hassle? .. not really ..

    Q - I get that you wanted to drop a deep piece .. but this felt overly cliche in places and I have read a piece similar in content to this from you before .. I wasn't a fan of bringing religion in to the piece .. especially as you were going for the reality aspect .. then have reference to god like you've met him and he told you what's what or something (last line of hook esp.) .. some of the multi rhyming was cool and others were kinda flat but in general the flow was pretty smooth and easy enough on the eye .. the content however didn't really strike a chord for me as the emotional value you attempted to portray didn't really work with any real conviction .. I mean I appreciate the 'realness' of it but I felt like it was still too broad in content and had those cliches I mentioned that left me feeling a little cold toward what I was meant to take from the piece ..

    Cal - hmmm .. the main problem I had with this piece was how it felt like you had the direction of the final idea of just framing any hood kid .. but how you got there wasn't overly interesting or entertaining .. it worked but not really on the level I would have expected had you told me the concept before the read .. you gave us the basics of the story to direct us through it but never really delved in to the emotional dilemma of the protagonist either during the plight of the rights and wrongs of Pall's idea or even where it was prominent at the end ..

    Vote = SpeedyCalhoun .. weighing it up it's obvious that Q's was a better written piece in terms of the multis and fluidity of read .. but there was little wrong with Cal's mechanics to really pull that all into question .. so I'm left weighing up the content .. Cal's story felt like it had holes in it that could have been smoothed over but it did have a small spark of entertainment value to it .. whereas Q's piece was a drop in the ocean of "this was my life " style verses .. but it wasn't all that interesting of a biography to me and felt very cliche with hardly anything but the Q mechanics to distinguish it from others ..
    test
  7. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,154
    Q:
    Yeh dude rhyming all nice in this some strong parts - some ok but for most part you kept a solid structure and a good flow through out.. Story was bland as all fuck, def a lil too slow paced for my liking but hey all in all i think this wasn't a bad drop.

    Speedy:
    Your rhyme scheme wasn't as strong as q's, still with some nice lines and some fairly good rhymes though.. which was cool.. your story is what shone here though not overly original but told well which in turn mad it a whole lot more entertaining.. nice piece

    vote = speedy calhoun

    for the more enjoyable verse
    test
  8. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    Alright, this battle comes down to the better mechanics vs. a more interesting story.

    Q- you had the better mechanics. flow was nice and the rhyming was on point. not that Speedy's mechanics were bad, they just weren't as tight as yours. I appreciate the attempt to write something that was a little deeper than the normal shit we see, but to do that you either still have to have a very interesting piece or a whole heck of a lot of emotion and i didn't really get either out of your piece. The content was a little boring and the emotion just wasn't as strong as it needed to be in my opinion.

    Speedy- pretty nice story. Writing wasn't as tight as Q's, but you definitely had the more engaging and interesting story. I wanted to finish your piece where as with Q's, i really wasn't pulled towards finishing it. and for that you get my vote, even though your mechanics weren't as sharp as Q's

    Vote= Speedy for a more engaging story that kept me reading.
    test
  9. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Speedy 3-0 Q. both vote and post links.

    SpeedyCalhoun wins 3-0.
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)