[Wk 14] 15. Mariah Noelle 0-0 v. 16. Meggido 0-0 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Quriosity, May 12, 2008.

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  1. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    [​IMG]

    ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations -----

    "GENERAL RULES"

    VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    • Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    • Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    • If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    • CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    • Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics
    • A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    • If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 2 voting links in order to claim victory
    • A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    • If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    • Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.





    "VOTING RULES"

    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST

    • You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    • EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    • Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    • Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    • Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    • Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    • If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on ALL 5 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    • Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    • Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    • PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 4 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    • Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    test
  2. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    NOTE: NEW VOTING RULES WILL BE ENFORCED!!!

    YOU MUST VOTE ON AT LEAST 5 MATCHES AND POST LINKS IN YOUR THREAD

    CHAMP AND CONTENDER LINKS MUST BE LABELED ACCORDINGLY

    FAILURE TO VOTE AND/OR POST LABELED LINKS WILL RESULT IN VOTE DEDUCTIONS IN YOUR BATTLE

    IF YOUR OPPONENT FAILS TO SHOW, YOU ARE STILL ACCOUNTABLE FOR VOTING ON ALL 5 MATCHES AS WELL AS POSTING THOSE LINKS IN YOUR MATCH AND LABELING THE CHAMP AND CONTENDER RESPECTIVELY!!!
    test
  3. Meggido

    Meggido New Member

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    test
  4. Mariah Noelle

    Mariah Noelle from RB

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
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    test
  5. Mariah Noelle

    Mariah Noelle from RB

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
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    [​IMG]

    All You Need Is Love

    Backpack strapped as we walk to the Beatles classic chime
    No feedback coming through until we feed Earth back it's lies
    In times we've stood in lively hood - but that's not likely good
    For the ivory would spread mildly, just not wild as we could
    Every smiling tree could whisper nature's curse and expand
    While in enemy lands every piss-poor laborer burns up a plan
    Never turn up your hand, turn up your ears and listen to youth
    The vision is hued with sketches of life, sacreligious in truth
    Pacifists live within you; use a passive fist to continue march
    And when you start to bleed, tears of black-pool pin your heart

    Respect more and you'll find your correct door
    As dots accept war, missiles 'lign to connect four
    Expect gore someday, Sunday's bloody Sunday
    The runway goes hungry once they're running one way
    And while the cunning run they lose their ground
    So the forward process is backtracked like music sound
    Loop the frown and make it happy, peace is young
    Decrease the sum of money in order to increase the love
    So that those that sleep with lungs, breathe again
    While it's sinking into their tiny souls to preach and bend
    You must make meat off the ends when ends meet
    You'll be 10-feet shrot for the job...so fill up what's empty

    Fearing that you'll quit from start, don't regret this art's pallet
    This dark chalice captures the mark, now it's time to part malice
    The smartest balance is really having one to set standards from
    I demand to be freed from balls and chains and laugh at it some
    There's no games to play, the west was won, but the rest is one
    It's not like the world is fun, racism existed since the world begun
    Hurry up and grow within misconduct, the water is a living supply
    Count on a heart-shaped figure to symbolize what's missing in life
    Every mission decides your fate, your plate is too full for thought
    The canvas is blank, but I'm drawing a painting; the truth will rot
    ...to it's very core.

    test
  6. Meggido

    Meggido New Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    36
    Edit for Topics*
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    -------------------------------

    The Elements: Pt. II
    A thousand Pictures


    Every work of art is an uncommitted crime.
    -Theodor Adorno

    One word to Paint a thousand Pictures- a script to Lift when down you fall
    Verbs that spray out Clouds and nouns that Stick from Ground to Wall
    Come out we call- when one comes: all- to scrawl out our Existence…
    …Our fantasies: a fast release from the Droll and Drum we Live in.
    The all or none we’re living lives off “nothings” that we’re given;
    What’s born abhorred is formed to More by the touch of “Scrimp and Pinching”;
    From naught or Nor-left High and Dry- and lived, though given Neither
    Primer Shots, Krylon Skies…through this Gift, we’ve Risen higher
    Ascended, Achieved…snipped a bit of Peace from Misery
    Each Piece our tensions, each our Scream-each Piece: a Piece of History

    Then Up from the Shadows, and out from the Deep…
    It creeps towards the Shallows enroute to the Strings;
    That Bind us, Confine us…Ruthless this Demon,
    Rising to tighten the Noose on Our Freedom


    Hearts spilling in Tunnels- Names poured onto Trains
    Concealed feelings are shuttled…what a force to Explain
    Our own little War stories deported- it’s strange:
    There’s a Portion of Fame only the Poor can Obtain?
    An order of fortune more Important then Wealth;
    Soldiers who shoulder this fortune restore Importance in Self.
    Our Voices a whisper, Noiseless Quivers of Sound
    Hoisting Arrows Delivered on the Poignant, Profound;
    Pictured Perfection with which we’re ripped from our Now’s,
    To Visit forever-and for an Instant-we’re found

    And thus came the Beast down the streets and the lines
    Teeth squeezed on the “Peace” for which these People had Strived;
    With Green Colored Eyes- and White Collar Power
    It Stalks through the night on a Romp to Devour,
    Each speckle of Ink and every droplet of Coal
    Through which we shared our Despair, our thoughts and our Souls
    But We move on through the cold and take Hold of the Pain;
    Which we have fought to Control- which we owe to our Fame
    With Ropes wove into Reigns and a Tonic of Irony
    We can Hope to restrain; Tame this Monster: Society


    Taggers Rapping over sampled scriptures of Harshness
    One word to Paint a Thousand Pictures: Vandals...or Artists?​

    Quicky for ya'll.
    Now if you excuse, I have an
    RBL verse that needs doing.
    test
  7. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    19,109
    It's still your call Mariah as to whether Meggido's verse will stand or not. Check your private messages if you're clueless as to what I'm talking about.

    Regardless, I figured we would leave this open to collect votes rather than dust and hope for the best. Either way, Meggido understands that his fate is completely in your hands as technically he did post 41 minutes after the deadline.

    Anyone who votes and posts this as a link will have it counted whether the battle stays open or not.

    Furthermore, if Mariah opts to take the easy win and disqualify Meggido's verse, she will still have to vote on 5 matches and post the links with the champ and contender labeled accordingly in order to receive the no-show win. Please keep this in mind.
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  8. Mariah Noelle

    Mariah Noelle from RB

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2008
    Messages:
    49
    Well, I don't want to take the easy win, if you think I lost, so be it. Keep it open.
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  9. 3-Planes

    3-Planes Cruel... and unusual

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    549
    Mariah Noelle

    this was a tad bit chaotic - in every aspect of topical writing... i respect that you went topical (don't know if that's you're preferred mode of writing... i for some reason seem to have easier to connect with topical pieces as opposed to stories)... back to this, the wording was straggling and your flow suffered because of that - as a rule of thumb don't cram 3 multis into 1 line and do not rhyme 4 multis in a bar couplet (not saying it can't be done, but more often than not it fucks up the flow)... i understand the main concept, but your attempts at personification as well as your metaphors were swing-and-miss (if you're going this more abstract style make sure what you write is *coherent* - concretize and "ground" your writing)

    Pay Pay

    bit of the same symptom here, but as opposed to your opponent you made a clear statement (or rather left the question hanging...) which tied this together better... i like when you let imagery pour on (but you to, is close to the abstract trap)... the flow was messy, lots of lines seemed to have too many syllables in them for them to flow nice... this whole piece was organized chaos, with too much chaos and too little organization (which is understandable if wrote this last minute)... overall i liked your concept and think it's simply an issue of polishing it

    vote: Paytience

    his imagery a little sharper, his concept a little better
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  10. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    well I'm glad this was allowed to stay open on principle .. but unfortunately that means I have to make a call on this and had to endure reading them both .. sorry to sound negative but this was quite a chore to read ..

    Mariah - no sense of flow to a rhythm at all .. the read was steady but as spoken poetry in an almost lecture style and not in feel of hiphop influence .. the rhymes were wide spread in areas and bunched together in others making it feel a bit awkward to get in to it .. this was worsened by the content not really being all that interesting and I took nothing away from the piece once it ended .. an uninspiring topical piece with little enjoyment factor ..

    Meggido - almost the same feedback as Mariah .. very similar in set up too with all this quote business and stretched lines that even Twista would have a tough time spitting to a beat .. I did find your content more interesting though .. I opted for the Graffiti theme with my piece and started out on a topical but changed it to go with a plotline instead .. I really liked the final couplet and that instantly snagged the win for me ..

    Vote = Meggido .. not keen on how either structured their piece but for the content Meggido takes it hands down .. very very little splitting anything else between them though .. but that's on the lesser end of the average mechanics scale .. close for all the wrong reasons ..
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  11. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

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    mariah - your verse all around to me just seemed to lack alot, your flow was too stretched out, your diction was fairly good tho, but the biggest drawback for me was the story itself, it was almost a chore to read your verse cause i didnt find the correlation to the topic you went with, it was a decent verse except when i try to relate it to love it lacks quite a bit, i can tell you have alot of potential, you just need to polish up your verses and really attack the topic next time

    meg - this was interesting, you have a unique style of writing, not saying its amazing or anything but its different none the less, i feel alot of the gripes i have with mariah-i have with you as well, your diction is there, and your flow was slightly better, but the story itself, it didnt grip me like it shouldve, i kinda expected alot more from you after all the braggadocious talk you had in the lounge, but you did enough for the win, and maybe thats all that matters


    vote - meggido
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  12. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    mar:
    Nice.. i liked this.. def suited the pic topic with an awesome flow through out.. fairly solid vocab and really quit a strong structure.. I cant fault this too much as i think its a nice lil topical with a good display of emotion..

    Meg:
    Nice structure.. in parts its real hot other just a lil loose yet still strong enough to graze over.. Vocab is on point with some really nice lines.. The description in this is what drives it.. sort of along the same lines i was displaying this week with my topic except the focus on purely rappers credibility.. All in all a pretty solid piece..

    vote = meggido

    Just a lil more in depth with harder hitting description.. gl
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  13. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    mariah - i think the ending of this piece left it at a stagnant place...it could have been better based off of where you were going as this finally started to pick up towards the end...I didn't like the piece as a whole though...i felt it was to rigid with you trying to line it up so much...could have been executed much better...

    meg - also nothing really special here, but i think you executed a pretty smooth flow throughout your piece that helped carry it enough for the win, granted i think it was a matter of not needing to do much to win rather than not being a good writer as far as your execution on your verse this week.

    vote = meggido.
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  14. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Joined:
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    Mariah... i think your topical was cool... I thinkt he flow was solid, until the break, and it went into another rhythm... I think it was up and down descriptively, but overall the love is the answer thing was aite.

    Megg... I think this was similar yet more consistent mechanically, and really just more enjoyable. I think the wording was the strength of this verse, and I'm curious to read a more developed story from you, as opposed to a topical.

    vote- Megg
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  15. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    mariah - chaotic is definitely a fitting description for this peice, very mixed feelings in which i can recognize the enormous amount of potential that shines through the writing however this was loosely strung together for a very wild and sporadic representation of run-on thoughts, all in all i guess it added up to the underlying topic but as a whole the execution was poorly done here and really ended like a decent and almost inexperienced topical, for the most part you had some interesting ideas and wording but you also had a lot of filler and things that seemed to be placed specifically to fill space and rhyme, speaking of which the flow was good for the most part but as a whole the rhythm changed which caused it to appear somewhat choppy, this started as a story it seemed and i almost wished it stayed on that path but as is i liked the idea you had which is ironically very uncreative but could have been done well if it were executed better, good start though and i definitely think you could hold your own in this league with time

    meggido - i enjoyed this for the most part or mainly exploring your style on writing, really took it back with the over done flow and few inners and multi syllables and what not, i used to have a somewhat similar style back in the day when i was raised for my flow but often told that i sacrificed content, i dont think this is the case here as the content was thick but i do feel as if you sacrificed clarity, although easily better executed than mariah's i still caught myself re-reading some lines because i just got lost in what i as reading due to the flow or wording or just being bored, both of you tackled unworthy topics as far as creativity goes and both had decent ideas as to how to shed light on such cliche and overused subjects and yet mariah failed in execution while i feel explored it well with a much better ending that painted a picture for what you described throughout, interesting ideas and wording and whatnot but again this could have been more clear but as is the read was well worth it and you deserved the win

    vote - meggido, same approaches for the most part but mariah failed in execution whereas meggido came a few levels above with a stronger description of the content and a better and more consistent flow
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  16. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    Meggido wins 7-0
    Neither vote = 3-(-4)
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