[WK 12] CHAMPIONSHIP: 1. Infinite Truth 5-0 vs 2. nom de plume. 4-2 (Vote Now!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Lucifa, Apr 28, 2008.

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  1. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Jul 14, 2001


    ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations -----


    VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST
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    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

  2. nom de plume.

    nom de plume. rumbrave.

    Mar 18, 2008
  3. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

    Aug 25, 2000
  4. nom de plume.

    nom de plume. rumbrave.

    Mar 18, 2008
  5. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

    Aug 25, 2000
    {"jaded misery".}

    {“jaded misery”.}

    veins dosed – chemicals fizzle…
    i type very quick…
    nonsensical scribbles
    inked via binary bits.
    pained; broken;
    chain-smokin’ –
    the blood i carry’s sick.
    hide, buried thick in shame.
    i am quite clearly shit.

    i jot vicious thoughts
    criss-crossing digital cables…
    writing off lived nightmares
    as mad, mystical fables.
    intensive day therapy –
    yes, it tends to take care of me,
    for when displays a mirrored me,
    an empty face is clearly seen.

    addiction sickens my existence;
    i’m too sorry to let go…
    blowing coke.
    smoking dope –
    my heart beat is techno.
    i got that gene from you, dad…
    my love for partying.
    so here’s to what you’ve left behind -
    drugs flood my heart again...

    mom found you in the bathtub
    on that first day of summer time
    your whiskey glass had shattered –
    you had made your lover cry.
    & so i jot another line,
    & then i chop another line,
    ‘cause i forever dread tomorrow -
    i too will suffer mine.

    it is the music & drugs
    that i consume & i love
    that are the two true cliché excuses
    for not being a truthful son,
    so cocaine creeps
    through coiled up dollars: disheveled…
    a daily habit that’s in fact
    destroying my tolerance level.

    brain waves shake,
    like rusty-red rattling chains.
    iron travels the veins -
    solidifies – i’m shackled by shame.
    bumping blow to battle the pain -
    my heart beat – it comes & goes,
    till i wake up on the kitchen floor
    bleeding from the nose…

    twenty missed calls…?
    jesus christ, i checked the date.
    i wrote pops’ eulogy, yes
    but his funeral was yesterday.

  6. nom de plume.

    nom de plume. rumbrave.

    Mar 18, 2008
    I spit blood through a diamond cut
    It might be love
    But the timings off


    I’m selling love half price, with grit in my smile
    This cities a child, pigeon holed, a vision that’s piled
    Sky high, with a night line made from tied twine
    And shy signs of lust are played from a dry wine
    And every time I die, I’m re-born from ash
    No phoenix, no broken wings, just scorn and fact
    I’m torn and trashed, falling flat
    On a back that’s held the world, and much more than that
    I’m poor and trapped in a land made for strong men
    Psalms blend when my palms bled, this song ends


    I’m screaming sonnets in dead end streets
    With reddened cheeks, spinning a devils speech
    Wishing for a peasants peace, filled with pleasant dreams
    I imagine these grey skies aren’t how heaven seems

    [please, listen]

    I breathe in sepia tones, cigarette in my hand
    They leave me alone, a minuet I can stand
    Dancing figure eight silhouettes, tipsy of tongue
    Our love was nipped in the bud, it was fitting and dumb
    We were missing the sun, and I’d strum chords lightly
    I ran for the hills and that’s unlike me
    I’ll write scenes where the smoke highlights your figure
    We stayed in broke motels, watch the lights, they flicker
    Fingers trace Braille on skin, the plight of sinners
    We shine, and dimmer
    We shied from winter

    [please, i’m begging you]

    My guitar case holds my clothes, cards and cash
    Another starving act, with only stars for snacks
    Passing back, the petty change, I didn’t ask for that
    I left the party blank faced, marred with ash

    [just give me the chance to explain]

    We made love as the sky fell, under nameless trees
    On dirt grazed knees, we were shameless teens
    With brazen needs, we were made to see
    That life is easy for rogues and thieves
    Hopelessly in love on the days spent, saints that bleed
    When I left you with my tainted seed
    We were brave and lean
    Plagued in sleep, with the strangest dreams
    You left holding the baby, was the basic scene
    I needed to head out of town, find space to breathe

    [i tried]

    With a broken heart, I walk streets downtrodden
    It was years before I realised that we had problems
    When the screaming shortened arguments to fist fights
    I left in morning with bruises, there was no respite

    [i really tried]

    When you gave birth to Fiona, I cried my eyes out
    Now I was tied down, tired all the time now
    We were fighting all the time, so I ran with the moon
    Guitar in my hand, singing a passengers blues
    I often wonder about what happened to you
    And the girl with the blue eyes, scratching at truth
    Hopeful, that she keeps her daddy’s musical traits
    Tell her I’m sorry I’m not there; I’ve been moving of late
    Assuming that fate will bring our paths back one day
    But now I’ll keep to these tracks, worn down, rum brave

    [i wrote her a song]

    I know this letter isn’t much, I speak in broken tongues
    I hope your days are well spent, and soaked in sun
    It’ll be better tomorrow, she’ll make it worthwhile
    That’s why I’ve sent you this, attached with a guitar and a smile

    [give her my best]
  7. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005
    hmm hard to decide really

    IT - i loved the flow and scheme of this piece...it was just great the way it came together and you really painted the father as a very relatable character while at the same time show us a lot about the son as they are mirrors of each other in essence...and I like the comedic bit at the end...

    Nom - this was very poetic...for me it was to much poetry...not enough creativity and substance...your images and emotion were strong, but you talked about nothing special just worded well with a good flow.

    vote = IT, I think his piece was more creative.
  8. RICO

    RICO my daughter right there

    Feb 28, 2002
    wow.......thia was nice.

    IT...man i dont remember reading anything from you ever!. but i liked what i saw.
    for me it was real poetic, soft spoken from my perspective but very dark.....i dont know if it was meant to be like that but it was nice...flow was short bars....real easy to read. story withe the pops and son stuggle with drugs.....and son fucking up..at the end.....worked for me

    NOM- who? i dont know you or maybe i do but the fact is your style is koo. gotta nice flow....went real easy made the read enjoyable. your story was actually really good. the [captions] really kept me interested....and moved the story along really well. the main charachter seemed a lil shady.....i think reading it once i missed why he left. i think it was just problems of the every day relationships???
    any way.....the whole letter to the daughter was koo, and the tie in with music really put depth into it......good piece...

    RAP-up: i vot on whos story i ENJOYED the most....not whose flowed better or had the better twist, or vocab or multies and stucture.......just whos i Liked reading most.....as far as that goes......


    sorry IT, but your shit was nice nothing against it.....im a happy guy....i was in the mood for a happy ending story.....your pice was too gloomy for me.
  9. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Oct 25, 2002
    Nice wording and structure with this as usual.. its fairy rare for you to break that format as i think you def mastered it now.. i think inner additional multi's where nice and gave it a bit of spice.. Story wise nothing over the top but the emotion whats brought it 2 life..

    best line:

    blowing coke.
    smoking dope –
    my heart beat is techno.

    nice imagery.

    hey dude you actually put effort in and it shows.. Pretty dope structure i think that was def the strongest point in your verse..

    ok so this..

    I’m selling love half price, - this doesnt have much to do with story its just to link the briefcase in the pic.. as in the fact you aren't selling your characters child love your simply giving it to her..

    so thats where the problem lies.. within the first few words..

    vote = Infinite Truth

    Ok So for a more flawless verse IT gets my vote..
  10. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Nov 24, 2001
    overall, this is the dopest battle of the week by far, both brought their A game to the table with solid scripts that incorporated all mechanics needed for a champ match

    IT - I dug this a lot, the short, quick bars were music to my ears and led me through your verse at a smooth pace, the words were catchy with some good imagery and good depictions, the emotion was brief however as was the entire verse which was my only factor to decide upon, you offered a complete story and yet it felt very incomplete and the connectivity wavered here for me, the beginning was dope though and the entire story fit nicely into the topic/title but again it was very abrupt in finish and didnt cover much ground

    Alias - i dug this as well, very well spoken with very good wording and imagery, somewhat poetic in style but that's neither here nor there, some of these lines were captivating and the only real difference between this and IT's was that the verse felt more complete with more of an underlying meaning behind it, I enjoyed the back story that was briefly touched upon as well as the strong emotion that you incorporated to well thought out lines and wording that really grabbed the reader, i was very into this and the read overall was a dope one

    in the end, vote - alias, clear and yet unclear being that both were damn near flawlessly written in my eyes and even IT's covered as much ground as it seemed he wanted to which was spot on for his title but against a more complete verse it just lowered the connection level for me as a reader, i felt as though i got more out of Alias and i also felt that his pain and emotion shone through better in comparison, but definitely a hot match, props to both competitors
  11. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Jul 14, 2001
    really good showing fellas .. close as fuck .. you cunts don't make it easy for me .. not only do I have to pick a winner here .. I have to rank these in the Loose Cypher ..

    IT - nice man .. nice .. the short bar quick tempo read was smooth as butter .. conveyed a guy getting high in mourning really well and the ending put a smile on my face .. the thing that lowers my feedback though .. is also a big part of what I liked .. so this may sound a bit strange .. but when I reached the end of the piece I felt a little 'empty' .. I'd enjoyed the read and the content as I was going .. but then I read the last bit, smiled, and thought "well .. did I get anything from this though?" .. I really dunno how to explain my 'problem' with it .. but something left me feeling short changed .. even though I really did like the piece ..

    Nom - boom .. to say you were unmotivated and uninspired when we last spoke .. this was some hot shit son .. really well written piece of text .. in a similar fashion to IT, the wording is a highlight of the verse and I would even go as far as to say you may have actually out done one of the masters of that shit in IT himself .. flow was not as strong as IT's for me but it wasn't too broken as to ruin the read in any sense ..

    Vote = nom de plume .. I thought IT would win this as both have a similar approach to writing .. and as much as I enjoy nom's stuff I did think IT would just be too strong in like-for-like comparison .. it was close on all accounts tbh but I think nom took the win for me with a slightly more engrosing tale .. good battle guys ..
  12. 3-Planes

    3-Planes Cruel... and unusual

    Oct 16, 2007

    i like the aloof vibe in your diction - it read like you're wrote it in minor key for lack of a better expression... i like that you dedicated alot of space to establish mood - that framed and enhanced the strength of the plot. the flow was up and down with - the tight sections came in little flash floods


    another introspective piece with a solemn atmosphere... there were a few instances of akward grammar in this, but nothing severe. there were two or three instances were the flow just kind of... died - this might be due to the structure. much better piece than last week.

    in the end this is a hard one to call for me, but:

    vote: Infinite Truth

    because the subject matter of his piece was more relatable to me

    quality battle, fudgepackers
  13. MetaSin

    MetaSin I Don't Believe In You...

    Jan 20, 2002
    Dope battle. I hate to break ties too...

    IT. Dope verse, your short bar style was real nice, and I enjoyed the story a lot. The flow was perfect for me, and I'm always a fan of your word choice etc. It moved very fluidly, and when the end came, it was a good end... i think i was just a slight bit dissapointed it was done.

    Nom. Dope verse... I don't know what it was about this verse that caught me, but it seemed to exude so much emotion, so subtly. very good job here... Not a big twist in the ending, but in a story this thought out, it wasn't necessary. Very strong showing.

    I can't make too big a case for either of u losing this one, but in the end I have to make a choice. I think I was slightly more connected to Nom's verse while I was reading it. Good job by both... Vote- Nom De Plume
  14. .ApoGee.

    .ApoGee. Keep The Peace.

    Nov 6, 2007
    IT- I think this is my first time reading a scribe from you that you really put effort in. This was overall dope, I love the concept and the flow, the scheme was excellent. I thought at first, structure wise, your rhyming would be force but you did pretty good job with little words and lines you've produced. The wording was cool, but what really drawn me in was the approach. And the ending was great.

    Nom- This was Nice, very poetic it seems to me. The concept was almost simple, yet the mechanics just made it refreshing. I was really into this cause the story-line, the transaction from one part to the other was just so damn good.

    This is really hard, a good battle, probably the MOTW, but I'll be going for the verse that really entertained me. Mechanics don't count now, and I vote for...Nom. Good battle Guys.
  15. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Oct 20, 1999
    IT - at first glance, i didnt think i was going to like your verse, short lines/ structure and all...........

    but actually was quite impressed with it, flowed on point, got your point across, kept me interested throughout, and the ending was nice, overall i dont have much too complain about, i could say you need to elaborate more- but thats a BS excuse saying i want your lines or verse to be longer- so i wont say it, lol...... nice drop

    alias - another nice verse, same as IT's- flow was there, story was interesting, i dont think your ending was as strong as his, but your mechanics may of been a bit better depending on how you look at it, i liked pretty much everything about your verse, no real flaws, i liked IT's verse more-just personal preference being how i use to be in the rave scene maybe, no idea, and his ending was a tad above yours.............

    vote - IT, could go either way, good match
  16. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Nov 24, 2001
    Nom De Plume wins 5-4
    Both post voting links

    Great match.
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