Why woman are so cranky... email I got yesturday

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Short2003, May 2, 2005.

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  1. Short2003

    Short2003 AbsoluteHotness

    Sep 24, 2003
    Why Women Are So Cranky

    We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that
    anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad
    it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra
    contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our

    Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with
    those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies,
    had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
    cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

    Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the
    first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
    through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little
    cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

    Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry *******s and
    water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over
    Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we
    learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
    our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have
    Rosemary's Baby.

    Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we
    pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam
    in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the
    mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all
    the way to the ER.

    Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
    screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push
    (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
    ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
    mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

    After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all
    that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
    jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

    Then come their teen years. Need I say more?

    When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in
    our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

    So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of
    all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned
    "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July,
    wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that

    Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so
    easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods
    without soaking their socks...

    I thought i'd share, I got a lil giggle out of it..
  2. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

    Jun 16, 2004
    LOL that was cute and OH SO TRUE! ;o)
  3. Chokolate

    Chokolate Melts N Ya Mouth

    Apr 3, 2001
    haha that was a good one short
  4. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

    Sep 12, 2000
    hahah thanks for sharing.
  5. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

    Jun 4, 2004
    lmao!! that is sooo true (especially the sex thing)... i can never pee w/o the pot...guys are so lucky...

    good thread
  6. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

    Sep 17, 1999
    Thank you for sharing that.
  7. !ron HorSe

    !ron HorSe New Member

    Jan 17, 2004
    Who ate the apple in the garden of eden first?

    All right then.
  8. .+Erica Evans+.

    .+Erica Evans+. Brown Sugar

    Nov 7, 2004
    ^^ lol

    funny email
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