Why Men Love Bitches

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by DaDivaSiren, Oct 18, 2005.

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  1. DaDivaSiren

    DaDivaSiren New Member

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    I am currently reading "Why Men Love B*tches" by Sherry Argov and I just wanted to share this awesome book with ya'll. This might seem like a stupid thread but I just wanted to share this with ya'll. I know there are some females out there in the world that are like myself. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm just to nice when it comes to guys. It may appear that i'm desperate but on the real I'm just to nice and let them get by with any and everything. To the females that feel they are just to nice and need advice on how to be a Dreamgirl instead of a doormat need to read this book. (Like Sherry Argov put it) I highly recommend this book. And another one of my favorites is "The Sista Rules" it is also a must read. I guess the true reason I started this thread is to get some feedback from everyone on how to not seem desperate. And to be honest I feel like i don't even have a life! I don't have female friends that I can talk to and chill out with. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I'm the evil person or something. Anyways just to give you an idea of what is said in the book here are a few principles that are listed. Use them at your own will.

    Attraction Principle #1
    Anything a person chases in life runs away.

    Attraction Principle #2
    The women who have the men climbing the walls for them aren't always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don't appear to care that much.

    Attraction Principle #3
    A woman is perceived as offering a mental challenge to the degree that a man doesn't feel he has a 100 percent hold on her.

    Attraction Principle #4
    Sometimes a man deliberately won't call, just to see how you'll respond.

    Attraction Principle #5
    If you start out dependrnt, it turns him off. But if it is something he can't have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get it

    Attraction Principle #8
    The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The b*tch shows that she's not afraid to be without him.

    Attraction Principle #21
    If a man has to wait before he sleeps with a woman, he'll not only perceive her as more beautiful, he'll also take time to appreciate who she is.

    Attraction Principle #24
    Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is somethign he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it.


    -"Why Men Love B*tches by Sherry Argov"

    This is just a little taste of the book, but i thought i would share it with ya'll b/c some of you may be going through the same things that i'm dealing with or you maybe going thru something i little different. Once you read the book let me know what you think.
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  2. Short2003

    Short2003 AbsoluteHotness

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    Thanks for sharing, they writer makes some good points in that list.. I have a friend that could use this book, badly...lol
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  3. Go'diloX

    Go'diloX "CEO of tha SOUF"

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    Hey boo....I want to thank you for your input on how much you're learning reading a book....about being a bitch....but darling...becoming a bitch is natural....believe me....keep fuckin wit tha wrong ni&&a's....yo bitch will come out...when you least expect it....you're not gonna believe ya had it in ya.....it also comes with age...and xperience...I'm much older than you....and I was like you at your age....tell me if this is you....

    1.always wanting to be the "understanding woman".....no matter what he does...you say..."I unda'stand"......bullshit.....say....'Naw, ni&&a, I don't unda'stand,'cause I don't know what it feels like to do stupid shit!!"

    2. you always feel like you gotta "save" him....'cause he "needs you"...double bullshit....why do he "need you"....so he can keep "needing" ta fuck with yo mind.....tha ni&&a was surviving b/f he met ya....tha ni&&a gone keep on livin' if ya leave him!"

    3. always wanting ta be the "forgiving woman".....'cause maybe he won't do it again....cause he got this deep down love for you....bulllllshiiiit.....after the 5th "I'm sorry....it won't happen again".....you ought ta get that point....and believe me.... if you cheated....he Won't be so "unda'standin".....so fuck'em.....

    4. always wanting to be "tha girl you can take home ta momma"......'cause if he take me ta momma...he serious about me......BUUUUllllshitttt!....you'll be surprised how many hoes momma done seen......

    5. you are the "I want momma ta like me" woman.....'cause if his family like me....our relationship will be betta....BUUlllSHITTT!!.....I don't give a fuck who like me or not.....if they don't like me....I make sure they know .....I don't like they country asses either......and if he can't except it....tell tha ni&&A...."fuck him and his momma!" and he can take his trifflin' ass right ova there with her!!"

    6. you want to be the "giving woman"......and neva miss a birthday,anniversary, holiday's included.....and if he don't give you something....or he forgot....or don't have the money...triple BBUUULLSHITT!.....once you let him slide on gift giving....tha ni&&a gone use that same ass xcuse.....you tell'em...."Look, ni&&a I give ya ass the gift of pussy everytime yo' stupid ass ask....and you can't remember ta buy me something....Im go forget how ta fuck!!".....believe me...he'll remember.....

    so darling.....did I get any of these right....I hope I did...'b/c I ain't neva heard of reading a book on being a bitch....cause life itself gonna teach you how ta be one....and b/f ya know it.....ya gonna be the Bitch of all bitches....good luck......
    And may the force be with U.....
    :thumb:
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  4. not really.

    so a non caring attitude will get you in his good books? Why didnt they just say " if you play hard to get you can get a man even if you're unnattractive" thats what its basically saying. Playing hard to get can also turn guys off, because they think you just dont like them.


    what?

    women do this too. Infact women test men alot, by doing things like this. (See playing hard to get)

    Dependancy turns women off more than it does men, Men sometimes are turned off by clingyness however.

    All this 'making yourself a challenge' can be simplified as Playing hard to get. noticing a pattern?

    no, the independant woman shows that she can manage without a man if she has to. Fear has nothing to do with it.

    There is some truth to this, but its more about self-respect. If a woman sleeps with a guy when she hardly knows him the guys gonna wonder if its a regular pattern of behaviour with the men she meets.

    Thats quite a sweeping statement. so basically, don't sleep with him and trick him into being ya boyfriend? a lot of these principles are being exercised for the wrong reasons. all with motives a tow.
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  5. JaMarcus Cock Sucker

    JaMarcus Cock Sucker BOSS

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    as if ya'll dont play enough games....now they got a book on how to mess a man's mind up

    smh.....
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  6. 6.) so you give him the gift of sex ( that hes lucky to be getting) on the basis that he doesn't forget birthdays or to get ya gifts? Why do some women think that they can control a man using sex. Sex isn't something a woman should give a man just cus he is being a good boy. Not all men are lapdogs who will bow and beg and be controlled by sex and intimacy.

    I thought age was suppose to bring wisdom? I don't think women should expect life to make them a bitch by the time they hit thirty, if anything they should be fighting to succumb to letting life make them that way.
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  7. Go'diloX

    Go'diloX "CEO of tha SOUF"

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    what we have is a gift...that's how we should see ourselves....and like real gifts...a real woman jus don't give it ta anybody....and if we continue to give of ourselves....without a man showing his appreciation by not remembering little things to show his affection..then the less he will start to give emotionally....then tha less we feel....you think...."I give myself to you, yet I feel I get like Im getting nothing out of this relationship".....and any gift....whether it be material or not....should be givin in return....it's not about "control" over the man but "control"of what you will or will not except from him.....or let ppl do to you.....every woman must be in "control" of her self worth.....and Im worth more than him giving me nothin at all.......

    And no women shouldn't "expect" life" ta make them a bitch....but it will.....if she continues to be....what she considers a "doormat"......she will foreva have low-self esteem....and will soon she will feel she's not "good enough"......to me being a bitch is "control" over your life....and that's what she wants ta have.....

    she wanted tips on how ta be a bitch....we'll sista.....I wish you well....from tha Queen B herself......
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  8. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

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    Dependancy turns us off?

    In one way or another, men are told at an early age that all women will depend on them for something. Whether it be our mothers or fathers telling us to 'treat a girl right' or our teachers telling us we need good jobs to support our wives and families or simply just the media; males grow up expecting women to be dependant on them.
    You'd be hard pushed to find a man that truely finds dependancy a turn off.
    On the other hand, you'd be hard pushed to find a man that will tollerate a clingy woman. There's a mild difference. Most men see it as their duty in life to satisfy a dependant woman.

    In my experience this is quite the oposite. At my age and people alot older than me.
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  9. Seeing yourself as a gift(that of being a good woman) and your sex as a gift to control how he treats u are 2 seperate things. Your explanation of witholding sex was very much about control. I'm not arguing that you should be with a man who gives nothing in a relationship, i'm saying the way you go about getting what you want is warped and not productive. This to me is about women wanting to free themselves from how men in the past have kept them from realising their full potential. The sad thing is that some women feel like they have to take it to the extreme of being a bitch ( in this case) to make the point that they wont be controlled, in turn they end up trying to control everything.

    some women think compromising in relationships equals doormats, when al relationships are about compromise. But yes, some women really are treated like doormats, But they dont all turn into bitches because of it. The sensible ones leave the guy who treats them bad and finds someone who truly cares about them and doesn't walk all over them.

    Its either that or just remain resentful and bitter and adopt techniques of getting men that don't really offer any long term solution beyond selfish control and go around being controlling cus your hurt and don't want to give anything of yourself because in the past people have thrown all your offerings away.
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  10. Go'diloX

    Go'diloX "CEO of tha SOUF"

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    You say they all don't turn into bitches.....it a way they do.....remember....Bitch means takin control ova tha situation....in thay case....of the woman leaving....so she took control ova her actions.....choosing ta leave...but I bet her ass learned her lesson....she desides to look for someone that is appreciating her self-worth...as I said b/f......so it that case....she is a Bitch.....she has taken control....by not excepting...anything less.....
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  11. why men love bitches?

    becuz we aint got time to chase stuck up hoes for pussy.

    -finished-
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  12. Offbeat

    Offbeat New Member

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    lmao....

    anyways this shit aint true. theres a time for hoes and theres a time for a real serious girlfriend, u dont gotta play games with guys to get them to like u. u just gotta be selective and find a guy u click with.

    shit i dunno how yall manage...

    me + my girl just be ourselves around each other not trying to second guess, out think, or play games and guess what shit works out flawlessly.

    if u gotta change ur personality/how u act to be with a certain person no shit it aint gonna work

    i guess im lucky as fuck
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  13. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    Go'diloX...[funny]..your list is cracking me up...I vote you for my new favorite member lol

    But anyways...

    I will never be into using bitch as an empowering term. I know people like to take things that were once negative and find a positive light in them..but why not scrap the term altogether. Just b/c I'm not a woman who lets herself get walked over doesn't mean I want to be called a bitch...even if the term is supposed to be positive in this case.

    I personally don't like the sound of the book. To me it just sounds like more mind games people can play with each other in a relationship.

    Playing the "I'm so cute cuz I'm hard to get" thing won't get you far in the long run. I will agree to an extent that most men don't show as much interest in a woman that is throwing herself all over him (unless he knows it's instant pussy and then that's all it is) as much as a woman who plays a little hard to get. I think it's more about mystery and intrigue. It's also about self respect I think. If a woman respects herself she isn't throwing herself down at a man's feet.

    I mean its a sad day if you can't show your man you care. I mean sometimes..there are those times where you can't let every little thing bug the hell out of you. You hafta be nonchalant about some things..but that goes hand in hand with the fact that nobody wants a person who is constantly up their ass about every little thing. But to put it as "you can't care" is not really what it is about. But if you act like you don't care about him as a person...he'll find somebody else that does.

    I think for sure that a woman shouldn't be afraid to be without a man. But it also becomes a different story when it's just a man you're dating than when you're with a man that you've married and had some kids w/..shit like that. Ultimatly you end up fearing not being with him b/c you two have merged your lives..but that's a different story I guess..not for people who are just in a casual relationship or something.

    As far as sex and giving it up...shit definitly changes once you give it up to somebody. It changes the way they view you..either for better or worse. I've seen so many women..my friends and such...who've just disrespected themselves over and over by giving it up thinking it will make a man like them more and then act shocked when he don't call them no more.

    Anyways....to the OP

    If you feel like you've become a doormat and your feeling is one of desperation I think it's time to step away from the idea of relationships and men and learn to love yourself first. If you don't know what you want and you don't know how to love yourself, how is anybody else gonna know how?

    You gotta take a hard look at yourself and find those self destructive characteristics and make it an active process to change them. It isn't about becoming somebody that you really aren't, it's just about really finding yourself.

    You might want to take a look at Iyanla Vanzart's book "In the Meantime" (and some of her other books as well, they're great) I read In the Meantime when I was already in a good relationship so it didn't hit me the way it would have before I met my fiance but I think it would be an excellent book for someone in your situation.
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  14. General Concrete

    General Concrete the infamous

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    lol I haven't read the book but from your post i can deduct it's just a marketing product.

    it's probably a simple book in simple language telling the average girl who's not too happy with herself, how to rationalize her misery

    like lala said, applying the word bitch to yourself is not the way to feel more selfsecure

    in general, people should avoid specialized literature because it almost always is a mrketing gimmick (what else whit a title like that?)

    read the classics, Russian writers, Shakespeare, they will teach you a lot about human interaction and ways to carry your dignity, modern writers are often times more emancipated and less capable

    peace
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  15. Hash Seeds

    Hash Seeds New Member

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    everything was cool until you got to 4-6....

    for #4, it depends on how you meet momma, if you meet her b'cuz you happen to come over and momma there, then you meet her... I have yet to introduce a "smut" to momma, and by introduce, I mean by inviting you over for family dinner, family outing, not just to watch a movie or tv show with my momma etc.

    for #5...whether or not my family likes you is a big damn deal... fathers give away there daughters in weddings all the time, so for you to say to a guy "fuck ya mom, since she don't like me" well get you kicked to the curb fast, no matter what, you will respect my mom(raised by single mom most of my life), and that's the case for a lot of guys

    for #6... how is giving pussy equating to gifts??? I hate when women do this, b'cuz it makes you seem like a prostitute, like you pimping ya pussy or something. "Don't give him no pussy, since he ain't doing this and doing that". Last time I checked, having sex is a 2 way street, are you getting some dick aren't you??? And don't even play like every pussy is the best thing since sliced bread and shit cuz it ain't. Valentine's day, and holidays like Christmas weren't made with the intent on just receiving gifts. On Christmas you should be "giving" anyway, that's some shallow shit to think that you "giving" pussy equates to gifts and shit. So I take it on Christmas, and other holidays for him you ain't gotta give him shit but pussy lol. This shit really cracks me up. Good thing I've had females who dont' think like this, and on holidays and shit, we "exchanged" gifts to show our appreciation to each other. And any n!gga that support giving gifts and shit in return for pussy in a relationship is a straight up sucka and a doormat.

    peace
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  16. BucktheTrend

    BucktheTrend New Member

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    Go and listen to Public Enemy - Sophisticated Bitch.
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  17. MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN

    MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine

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    I saw this book at Barnes and Noble.. It looked interesting.. some of the replies in here are pretty intense.. Its just a book, not a teaching aid..Just something to read and take it for what it is--a story about some other chicks experiences.. Glad you enjoyed it Siren.
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  18. Go'diloX

    Go'diloX "CEO of tha SOUF"

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    Listen kid...I did not say giving pussy is equating to gifts....I said a women should consider herself as one...and if she gives of herself...whether its pussy or not...and the man do not show appreciation by giving...to her...she should set that ni&&a straight....and my quote was that she gives (buys) gifts on every holiday/birthday/anniversary....and he doesn't....she should not give of herself...totally to him...because we all know...when we give...it shows how much we love and appreciate that person...and a woman who gives gifts...should be presented with them as well....now do you get it?
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  19. /\/\!$T3R P1MP

    /\/\!$T3R P1MP ...da shit outcha skrappy

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    i love mah bitches, bitches
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  20. It is very much a teaching aid if it puts forth principles which inturn may infleunce the behaviour of a woman when she tries to pursue a man.
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