who can breakdown my whole battle verse?

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Gsus, Feb 27, 2011.

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  1. Gsus

    Gsus aka Wordz bka G. Legit

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    this was my RBL verse to Jack( lionel smith jr.)....break it down for me....i wanna see who gets all the concepts or do i gotta dumb down my verses


    My punches Mike Vick, the way I throw facts...and know that his mouth like bad defensive lines the way he "blow sacks"... plus trust its not jerseys when he break out and "throw-back"...cuz faggots call em G.P.S.(Great Penis Sucka), aka, Mr. "Low Jack"/


    Jack said he was the truth in bed, his girl was like, "THAT LYING LIL PRICK...DONT BUY INTO THAT SHIT!!!!"...she thought the nigga had crabs, the way he had "Riot on his dick"/

    See, yall looked alil suprised at those cracks...but I aint talkin bout book sense... when i say yall dont "know Jack"/

    U'd think the climate was changin, the way my winter cold raps come...then pimp ho slap bums...so "right off the bat", "Im beatin em for the win"...just so u could say I "Kim-Bo Jack'd son"/

    Fuck, let his wack riddles come...I even "Jack Nickels son"/

    Im beatin em "Cents-less" for sellin those "Wolf" tickets...and this "aint the movies"...
    Put em in Family Guy form, he wishin he was never born...thats why he havin more thoughts of killin his mom than Stewie/

    U aint got the "Will" to beat me...this "Smith", aint nothin without the "Wesson"...
    Yeah he done left alot of dudes "vegetables"...right after "tossin their salad without the dressin"/

    His sex life like a gay version of "Home Alone"...but he aint doing what McCaully Caulkin did when he "palm cheeks"...
    See that aint gif in his avy homes...look closer u'll think of Jack as Trey Songz, by the "love faces" on that zombie/ (i swear it look like Jack hittin it doggystyle)

    U'd think he was gonna win, the way I say "he seconds from Deth"...but Im helpin the "hands turn"...
    Cuz when it come to votin, this text, I aint gotta "waste my breath"...to "blow out" this "Lantern"/
    test
  2. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    I can break them down..
    test
  3. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    My punches Mike Vick, the way I throw facts...and know that his mouth like bad defensive lines the way he "blow sacks"...
    ---obvious nfl play if somebody doesnt understand this they are either a woman or retarded


    plus trust its not jerseys when he break out and "throw-back"...cuz faggots call em G.P.S.(Great Penis Sucka), aka, Mr. "Low Jack"/
    ---throw back jerseys obvious...the low jack will hit and miss over heads because some people arent familiar with gps enough to care, the punch is still light



    Jack said he was the truth in bed, his girl was like, "THAT LYING LIL PRICK...DONT BUY INTO THAT SHIT!!!!"...she thought the nigga had crabs, the way he had "Riot on his dick"/
    ---obvious pun 'tween riot and jack, the set up is ehhhhhh, but works for the finishing wordplay


    See, yall looked alil suprised at those cracks...but I aint talkin bout book sense... when i say yall dont "know Jack"/
    ---flow is off... but ya, i "know jack"


    U'd think the climate was changin, the way my winter cold raps come...then pimp ho slap bums...so "right off the bat", "Im beatin em for the win"...just so u could say I "Kim-Bo Jack'd son"/
    --- ehhhhh, kimbo n jackson match ufc ya... its forcy

    Fuck, let his wack riddles come...I even "Jack Nickels son"/
    ---Could've been better... maybe 'I'll snatch ya dollars, quarters, dimes, I even Jack nickels son'


    Im beatin em "Cents-less" for sellin those "Wolf" tickets...and this "aint the movies"...
    Put em in Family Guy form, he wishin he was never born...thats why he havin more thoughts of killin his mom than Stewie/
    ---I get it, but the set up's jumpy from the stewie close

    U aint got the "Will" to beat me...this "Smith", aint nothin without the "Wesson"...
    Yeah he done left alot of dudes "vegetables"...right after "tossin their salad without the dressin"/

    --- will smith, smith and wesson, into eatin ass with no salad dressin...again, its there with wordplay but it isnt well tied together or relatable to itself..like puttin somethin about 'wild wild west' in or somethin to tie the will smith in with the smith n wesson...



    Im not gonna break the rest of this thing down... it has potential, the components are there, it just needs to get tied together and apply better.

    In the end if they dont get it they didnt deserve to.
    test
  4. Gsus

    Gsus aka Wordz bka G. Legit

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    u was almost on point with the breakdown....here's where u messed up

    U'd think the climate was changin, the way my winter cold raps come...then pimp ho slap bums...
    (the multis here was just harsh....have u ever been slapped in the cold lol....shit'll make u wanna shoot a mofo lmao)

    so "right off the bat", "Im beatin em for the win"...just so u could say I "Kim-Bo Jack'd son"/
    (right off the bat ties Bo Jackson into it, knockin it outta the park....beatin em for the win ties Kimbo into the equation)

    Fuck, let his wack riddles come...I even "Jack Nickels son"/
    (I even Jack Nickel son-Jack Nicholson....the guy that played in wolf...jack nickel son pretaining to the 5 cents/sense.....which appeared in my next line)

    Im beatin em "Cents-less" for sellin those "Wolf" tickets...and this "aint the movies"...
    (beatin em Cents-less, remember the Jack Nickels son line...any way, wolf tickets-slang for lying...Wolf was also a movie Jack Nicholson played in)
    test
  5. twenty_ROCK

    twenty_ROCK Crack Illz

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    I can appreciate it
    test
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