Where Is My Angel?

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by VerballyHostile, May 27, 2003.

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  1. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    Where is my angel?
    The One I fell in love with
    The One I did everything with
    and did everything for
    Where is my angel?
    The One I would have died for
    The One I could not wait to kiss
    and could not wait to kiss me
    Where is my angel?
    The One I thought I could give a ring to
    The One I wanted to give a ring to
    and wanted to give me a ring too
    Where is my angel?
    The One I told everything to
    The One I felt right with
    and felt right with me too
    Where is my angel now?
    She is not the same one I knew then
    Though I still love her, would do everything for her
    would die for, can't wait to kiss her
    think about giving a ring to her, I still want to give that ring
    I still tell her things, just not every...thing
    At least not that I know we have changed
    I still feel right with her, and only her
    But she is no longer my Angel, for she does not watch over me
    She was never an angel, just a heartbreak in disguise
    Though I still can't find the right time, or the words
    or even picture a time where I could tell her
    Tell her I know...She is not my angel
    For an angel would never hurt me
    And you Angel, have...
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    From thinking you want to give your "angel", as you called them a ring of marriage right to heartbreak. Interesting how it completely turned tables:

    "I still feel right with her, and only her
    But she is no longer my Angel, for she does not watch over me
    She was never an angel, just a heartbreak in disguise"


    Very true in usual relationships such as these, at least what I got from it. I think you spoke about something that happened to you in the past or just something that happened to a family member, maybe friend. But from the way you spoke out in your own voice in this had me to believe that you were talking about you and someone who slipped away, led you to heartbreak, basically. Decent message to those who think their "angel" is infront of them and ready to give them their ring, although it's not right at all. Eh, I sometimes get several different meanings from a simple, straight forward piece, oh well. Nice drop, sonnie. My blessings..

    *return the favor by dropping some knowledge on my piece.

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=6315599
    test
  3. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    the first kind soul i have met on this site, and right at the right time

    i cant tell if your M/F sorry im new here, but thank you, i needed someone to read this and interpret it, it is much appreciated

    heres the actual feeling behind it, i guess since it is about me right now, at this moment, it is not a timeless poem but heres the jist

    me and my girl have been together for a year and 7 months, ive been in love with her the whole time, well lately shes treated me worse then ive ever thought she would, i have always been everything for her and more,

    well i know a lot of things she has done or said, or anything that she doesnt know I know...lol if that makes sense, I've never told her how i feel about all this, and i cant imagine a time or place right to say, cause that would be it, and im not ready for ending, but she is not my angel anymore, she is just the heartbreak that comes from trusting and loving to much
    test
  4. Lyrical B^tch

    Lyrical B^tch New Member

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    Very nice drop...I been writin some stuff kinda like this...sometimes this is how u feelin....Nice flow...I didnt really see what Tuned Root was talkin about till I went back and read it a second time..and it was ill the way u flipped it..keep writin..stay up..oNe..

    Im to lazy to post my link so if u get a chance go peep it if not its cool..
    test
  5. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    bump bump bump!
    test
  6. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    pump up the volume pump up the volume
    test
  7. DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA

    DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA The Silencer

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    WEll there is a lot taken from this poem so i'll just start from the top first off i've never seen your format or should i say structure type poem i liked it especially the answering of ones own questions i thought that played out nicely. A bit of a struggle i saw though and kind of had me like what? Then i read a lil more and my eyes were open and i know exactly where you are coming from just not that harsh. I know what it is like to want to give a person your all and get dirt in return, but thats life maybe if these are your true feelings you can talk about it sometimes ya dig? Nice peice though keep it up.
    test
  8. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    thank you very much :)
    test
  9. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    this really was a great piece... an angel in disguise... seen too many of those.

    i like the way this piece is structured, and the repetitions in almost every line gave it a distinct flava... great piece. i look forward to readin more from you!
    test
  10. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    why thank you....i usually only write poetry when something drives me, and often its my girl...lol but im sure youll see more
    test
  11. masterragu

    masterragu Sweep The Leg, Johnny!

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    Oh yes I can relate to such a piece. I can see how you definitly were very into this girl and how much you wanted the relationship to work. And I'm glad that the poem ended the way it did because at least you came away from it understanding that maybe she wasnt the one. It's always tough coming to the realization that someone isn't who you really had your heart out as being. Hopefully someday you'll find someone who is the right one and you'll grow with them... Well keep writing and i'll be looking forward to your future work...
    test
  12. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    I felt it a little bit, but the rhetoric in it got a little redundant after a few lines....My suggestion for it...instead of "Where is my angel......." why not use "I'm trying to find my angel......." and phrases along those lines. I'm not trying to tell you how to do You, just giving MY opinion.
    test
  13. VerballyHostile

    VerballyHostile New Member

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    hey man its all love id take any suggestions comments whatever, i just dont know how to tell this girl all of those things, so i post em here, at least i get them out, hopefully soon I will be able to tell her, and leave her cause Im still hurtin
    test
  14. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    It's all good dog, keep writing.
    test
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