Where Did You Go? (i had 2 get this off my chest)

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Anonmuz, May 25, 2003.

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  1. Anonmuz

    Anonmuz Decepticons = Truth

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    you said that you would be right there 4 me, when i need a friend 2 talk,
    then tell me why you moved away and left me here alone,
    all you did was just break my heart and left me wondering why,
    did you ever really care 4 me or was your love 4 me a lie?

    no you never did love me, no phone calls, nothing at all,
    i gave my heart 2 you, gave my time 2 you, where did you go?
    i guess friendship means nothing, atleast not 2 you cause where did you go?
    you were my everything, all that i needed, where did you go?

    it took awhile 4 me 2 tell myself, that you don't love me
    it hurt so much 2 think about the love that we once had
    cause i didn't want 2 be alone, just thought your heart i had
    but i would rather be alone, than have you miserable with me

    what can i say, what can i do, 2 get your love back
    all the songs i wrote, all these poems 4 you and you just give them back?
    you said you love me... how does love switch that quick and say we're through?
    the tearz i droped infront of you, from all the things we've gone through,

    we've been through worse

    you don't look my way anymore
    you don't seem 2 care anymore
    you don't wanna talk anymore
    you don't wanna make it work anymore?

    i sacrificed everything 2 get where i'm at 2day,
    and now that we've made it you've gone away,
    friends turned lovers, we've crossed the line now we can never go back,
    i have nothing now, all that i've worked 4 was 4 nothing,
    it was all 4 you... i loved you... i love you,
    i'm all alone now, no letter, no note, no message,
    just your key and your necklace with my ring on it
    where did you go?
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    This reminded me of my latest girlfriend. She felt like you did, because I had told her we weren't really in love, it was basic infatuation. So, I told her, I'd be there for her, I'd do everything, etc. as you said in your piece. I guess, my last relationship can really relate to your drop. Really understood what you were trying to say, well at least from my ex's eyes. Very deep and meaningful words. I believe you got out what you needed to say. Although, their is still a bit more winding up to explode within your feelings. I personally think that this poem has the potential to use vocabulary to become more indepth in what you're emotionally feeling, yam sayin'? Word usages usually help with meanings to actually get to the core of what you're trying to say, all summed up in one word. Only a few syllables, na'mean? Just overall, a nice piece though. If you don't get what I'm trying to say, just tell me and I'll hit you up with a little bit better explanation. But work on the vocabulary to sum it all up, it does work. Also, nice use of questions, as if you're actually talking to the "love of your life". My blessings..
    test
  3. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    I felt this piece. It seemed more like a poetic vent then a real bonafide poem...trust me though..I feel you.

    You could have put it together in my opinion but..my style is my style and yours is yours so..keep doin ya thang!!
    test
  4. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    wow. that is a whole lot of emotion. ^
    test
  5. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    This oozed (don't know how to spell it) with rawness straight from a heart that is either cracking or broken...a soul that is leaking the tears in form of acids if you would...

    ...and as said many a time...getting such stuff out, especially into poetic form (albeit so rough n what not) is a great thing to do...(and if that aint one of the most patronising things i've written/said all day...i hate being patronising, unless i'm taking the piss..but even then..)..


    ...resp...
    test
  6. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    i was really feeling this piece.....nicely done man
    test
  7. Anonmuz

    Anonmuz Decepticons = Truth

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    Thanks 2 everone 4 showing me love on this drop. i aint even feel like being deep with this one i just wanted 2 get these feeling and thoughts off my mind and off my chest. everytime i thought about this girl the pain just shot back up in me. i guess i was acting more on emotion on this one than trying 2 drop some depth on it. thanks 4 ya reply though TuNed RooT, much appreciated.
    test
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