Where Did The Years Go?

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by L. Kross, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    Im broke cuz I smoke wit all my dough
    I wont blow, but I flow wit all my soul
    All I got is my partner, give her all I own
    But how Im gonn raise a daughter if thats all I know
    Outta control, daddy goin outta his dome
    Is the same thing that got me taken outta my home
    I dont know why bloods down in the snow
    Im too young. I dont know where our familyll go
    Are you proud of the fruits of the insanity sown?
    Thats goin wild an ruthless into a damaging home
    Its been tried Im the truest. Think you a rider? lets do this
    Cuz I get stupid dude an you aint tryna die for this music
    I get excited if he even actin hyper to pull it
    Id rather throw em down an fight but aint no fightin a bullet
    Ill throw you down a flight of steps you actin like I wont do it
    An leave you fightin for your life until they rightfully pull it
    test
  2. dsp2k5

    dsp2k5 Dime Sack Pimp

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    Man I get an relate ... im thinking I gotta stop smoking tho lol. The babies are worth it, you saidI it yourself ... aint noit fightin a bullet. This was a nice drop tho homie. .. nice flow, realistic, etc. I like it.
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  3. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    I actually thought this was heartfelt. The flow iteself is a bit choppy, but I like what you had to say man. Your rhyme scheme for the last 4, though - feelin' it definitely.
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  4. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    He Has A Point ^ [sunglass]

    Thanks Weez, appreciate your time an feedback wasnt even expectin this to get peeped over here these days lol. Thanks to you to, Pimp we should get another collabo goin
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  5. dsp2k5

    dsp2k5 Dime Sack Pimp

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    Im ready for a collaboration ... I want to do a Voice of Reason by Chamillionaire type of collaboration with someone
    ... basically one verse is a cocky type person spitting game about life and the second verse is the wiser type person telling the cocky one about life check out the joint and let me know if anyone wants to get in on this collab
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  6. Trizzy Tre

    Trizzy Tre Cypher King

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    This was some deep stuff and I was feelin it

    I thought your flow was on point, but just never a fan of the shorter type barz.

    The image you gave in this verse was solid.
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  7. Chase Murda

    Chase Murda hostile enviroment

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    this was hot son keep doin u
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  8. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    Feelin the love, appreciate your time, you think my shits deep wait until my girl drops my baby shes carryin
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  9. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    This piece is clearly written by a dude who actually spits live...the bars have the spacing and the timing that comes from verbally pausing here and there and verbally accenting and slowing down and speeding up bars to keep the delivery and pacing right. I feel that cuz I do it too.

    Good job, dawg. You battle? If so, link me to a few of your battle joints.
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  10. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    ^Yeah everythin I drop on this site is outta my notebook, its all built for beats, I battle but I aint got no battle videos, I litterally battle strangers at the corner store when i hear cats rappin an jump in an someone wants to battle i go for the throat lol good lookin out bro
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  11. MrFlux001

    MrFlux001 Member

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    I enjoyed this segment and the bars before were on topic, but then towards the end it was just like you got bored and threw a few filler lines down to finish it off. Would have liked to see a couple of verses in the same vein as it started. Decent drop.
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  12. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    No doubt bruh I recognize another live battler when I read/hear 'em. I don't have any battle videos either, although I'll prolly find time to drop some acapella joints where I'm just spittin at the camera for the hell of it....kinda like SMACK did back in the day, or how various members of The Horseshoe Gang do .
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  13. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    Idk Flux, seemed to me that L.K simply found a target for his mounting frustration anger aggression and worries, and fired those bars at that target. Fit pretty much on topic and on point. It's a time honored rap tradition; everyone from Rakim to Eminem and beyond has done it to some extent or other.
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  14. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    ^Yeah, I wanted to start off wit some deep shit, move to some sad shit which was a gateway for the anger to come out, it wasnt just me losin sight of my topic an ramblin gangsta shit, I was bridgin the pain to the anger, appreciate all your feedback though
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  15. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    This is a hella dope 16. Alas, I can't relate to the topic, but can try to understand where you're coming from.
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  16. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    its no point tryin to understand a ghetto state of mind, some things best left overstood
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  17. Gen The God

    Gen The God The Life or Death Poet

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    Its been tried Im the truest. Think you a rider? lets do this
    Cuz I get stupid dude an you aint tryna die for this music
    I get excited if he even actin hyper to pull it
    Id rather throw em down an fight but aint no fightin a bullet
    Ill throw you down a flight of steps you actin like I wont do it
    An leave you fightin for your life until they rightfully pull it
    ^^^Ill

    After reading this and Deth's drop, I might actually start reading some drop in the Open Mic forum here again. It was dead for a while. Keep droppin and I'll check it, 1.
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  18. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    I liked this because it was not trying to be over the top in all the tecnacalities, so with that being as it is, this was not even close to being read as forced. Good job on that, I like the simplicity. Now the theme is kinda used, but hey we all go through it and this is your story.

    The simple context this was written in made it flow and read really well. I think you found a good balance with expressing yourself and keeping up a identifiable flow with the rhymes.

    fave line

    Its been tried Im the truest. Think you a rider? lets do this
    Cuz I get stupid dude an you aint tryna die for this music
    test
  19. L. Kross

    L. Kross His Highness

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    I appreciate you guys.^ Coup that was a great interpretation. i didnt even know exactly what i was doin, but you made it clear, ive been lookin for a balance, simple enough to understand the first time, smooth enough to keep you into it. its a balance. when i used to write stupid complicated shit an people had to listen to the same verse three times to catch all the punches an concepts an shit it seemed like they werent into it as much as when i started to simplify it a little it helps smooth it over. good shit, thanks for the feed back
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  20. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    I hear you ya "on stupid complicated sh1t"

    writing technical displays your abilities but the more complex it is the more connection with the reader may be lost. Though complex over the top pieces may lose focus in order to texture and create moods...in some cases. but yeah, man keep up your thang...keep writing your thoughts.

    in the RSTL complex schemes for the most part wins...because each head is competing and recognize complications out of duty to vote...haha. but this is not a black and white deal here, no right or wrongs. which is why your piece works well...(not saying the tech was low in yours by no wise)

    peace
    test
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