~when the ink flows~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by 49th Prophet, Jul 30, 2003.

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  1. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    I havent slept in like 30 hours
    so you probably wont get this
    freestyle i just threw down before
    finally gettin to bed, but check it
    nonetheless.


    when the ink flows, I think no,
    i just go, the script grows,
    I rip notes like fistfulls a'mentos
    encircled by pitbulls,
    these crystals are mental,
    burns elemental, form
    inside caves, to slave
    ex-potentials, credentials
    survive,but lifes gonna vent'll
    all crys die un-til they
    are no longer official,
    pain is a train with
    no chance to derail it,
    vain is the effort
    of weapons to impale it
    survives if you nail it
    wit the force of a gail with
    a hurricane to sail it,
    no trail of the hail
    failed to lock hold and bend it
    pretends its not offended
    by the hot-loaded forensics
    and sticks to the scene
    like a sleep-dream commitment.
    test
  2. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    "all crys die un-til they
    are no longer official,
    pain is a train with
    no chance to derail it"

    ^^

    nice couple of linesright there
    this was interesting, im not sure i understand it fully , but i think i got some of it down. Nice job


    stay up, much love, peace
    test
  3. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    allnakey thanks for feedback 'preciate it...lol..I guess shit just comes out a different way when Im too tired to care about structure and jus wanna spit..thanks
    test
  4. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    wow this was a great piece... nice job.
    test
  5. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

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    this was a tight piece....

    pain is a train with
    no chance to derail it,

    Loved it...

    mad love
    test
  6. JiHaD210

    JiHaD210 REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

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    nice piece especially the beginning.....keep tha ink flowing meh niqqa....
    test
  7. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    *GeMiNeYeZ* , misspimp, JiHaD210 , thank you all for your kind words...its those kind of replies that gives me more confidence to throw shit down...so thank you for takin the time to reply...'preciate it
    test
  8. tk2oo3

    tk2oo3 New Member

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    hmmm all i can say is elevate your overly obsessed wit rhyming here, that isnt good because your blocking out your real emotion or feelings.. write down what you think/feel etc witout trying to live up to any standard, if you happen to rhyme so be it, poetry allows that much space, take advantage of it.. itll help you grow, & in time if you still love rhyming you itll still bring you back to it once your on a completely different level.. this lacks emotion which you cant express & its overly confusing wit choppy thoughts of rhymes thrown together.., its an ok piece, keep elevating, you did have i think a few lines that were true to life.. but they got ruined by the rhyming too much..
    test
  9. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    tk2oo3, I thank you for your input, ihave dropped deep poetic threads a few times, this was jus some quick shit......but......I still take your advice with open arms and I appreciate the time you took to lend it to me...thank you
    test
  10. Dark_Angel

    Dark_Angel Dark_Angel

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    pain is a train with
    no chance to derail it,
    vain is the effort
    of weapons to impale it
    survives if you nail it
    wit the force of a gail with
    a hurricane to sail it,
    no trail of the hail
    failed to lock hold and bend it
    pretends its not offended


    i really liked this peice, sometimes i have trouble getting my mind around some of your peices, but this one seemed to click for me, i loved it, i liked the flow within the peice and your rhyming i liked aswell....nice peice
    test
  11. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    Dark_Angel thank you for the reply....sometimes some of my peices are thrown down with only me ever knowin the meaning of the metaphors....but as a freelance thinker I like to try and make people put it together and come up with their own version of those metaphors in they're mind, anyone know what Im tryin to say?......anyway thank you Dark_Angel I appreciate your time
    test
  12. JiHaD210

    JiHaD210 REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

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    im feelin ya on that ^^^
    test
  13. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    thanks JiHaD210, its hard to explain so Im glad you understood what I was tryin to say.
    test
  14. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    this was different....i liked it though...keep it up
    test
  15. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    thank you for the reply lpoet...maybe I'll try a few more rhyme in this kinda style...thanks
    test
  16. Teen Prodigy

    Teen Prodigy Short2003's e-child

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    i got some of it..i understood parts of it.. and other parts i did not.. but I can tell this drop was just a way to vent. Nonetheless.. thoughtful, poetry is poetry, and poets are poets.. and i respect them all.. so its nothing but love.
    test
  17. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

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    Teen Prodigy Im feelin ya on the " poets are poets bit " thanks for the love and takng the time to reply
    test
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