What's wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by MC Shogun, Mar 24, 2013.

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  1. MC Shogun

    MC Shogun New Member

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    http://youtu.be/26ZBBMewikM

    Ima try this shit again rip bars for artisans
    probably connecting with aryans but Im more conditioned
    to be hitting beats that leave MC's at my feet daring to win
    bitches get ripped each time I speak it sends waves that seek listening
    earth to the sun the separation commanding crums to eat lead from guns
    the condition of everyone shows its cold as an explosion unfolds
    Im more hated more exquisite Ive been told when I pivot I throw molds
    I go through each step I hold on with my grip grab a tech
    the cold tools reach foolish beefs as two crooked necks sit carrying heat
    to fight to the death kids choose sticks creep to reach spleens in the street
    it's sick so tell me there aint broken homes gone to PTSD
    everybody living stressed thats why they light up trees
    like medicine men again I believe we all should smoking weed then the world will be at peace
    but to each his own if you'd rather have psychos roam the streets
    rather than a bunch of hipsters on their way home with two fingers up smelling like weed
    I don't know what else to say besides beat yourself silly if you don't agree you're fucking crazy
    test
  2. jesuit223

    jesuit223 Member

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    Wow pretty nice, cool rhyme scheme too.
    test
  3. MC Shogun

    MC Shogun New Member

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    Thanks man I'm still learning trying to get better. I think I need to work on flow more I feel like my thoughts get a little scattered.
    test
  4. jesuit223

    jesuit223 Member

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    We all are trying to improve, and I can relate to getting scattered thoughts, a thing that helps me is free writing, just like thirty minutes a day writing whatever comes to mind without stopping. Hope I helped ;)
    test
  5. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    test
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