What does it mean ?

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Coup d'état, Apr 9, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    And so I look up to the stars
    And each cluster represents arbitrary patterns
    Some of nostalgia in a spiritual place
    Where the past, present and future collide
    And some of the representation of infinity
    Where the limits of thought know no boundaries
    And how such visions open the doors
    To an abundance of tests, quizzing in absolute
    Underscored by audacity, to dream of a better way
    Or a future fulfillment open to all that acknowledge this
    And as such, an urgency to realize this spawns
    From the direct violation of societal obligations
    Some are struck be these stars directly
    Like a direct current exiting the truth in humanity
    A romantic will remember these images, realizations
    And paint on their spiritual canvas, a map
    A step by step mission statement rising organically
    A fool will pass away with the next morning and wake
    Into the same mental imprisonment, boxed in
    In the status quo of cheap talk and false ideologies
    They will wither

    It is in this personal struggle of our spiritual state
    That the award to those who capitalize on opportunity
    Cross over the line of cheap living and into eternity
    Of everlasting Paradise set by the willingness to accept
    That there is only one truth in that we realize the impossible

    Impossible is a limitation set by learned behavior
    And if one could forget this conditioning and look
    We would see the patterns in the stars in a new way
    Reborn in a sense that a personal intuition will decide
    What is important to the soul and what is merely a trend
    Worn on the sleaves of flesh
    test
  2. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    This was more of a poetry piece IMO, which is most likely why you're not recieving much replies. Great writing, your Vocab is exceptionally good, but I think for an open mic you should add more rhyming words and have a distinct rhyme scheme. Good writing though. Just my opinion though, take it as you will my dude ;)

    Please check out my song in here called "said and done"
    test
  3. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    Can the mods move this to the the poetry secton ?


    thanks NG
    test
  4. Introspective

    Introspective New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2011
    Messages:
    2
    I agree with no good, very poetic and well thought out. Vocab is exceptional but seems more on the poetry rather than rhyming sign, not to take away from your writing because i enjoyed this post very much. Definitely have skill, i can dig it. peace and love.
    test
  5. numinous

    numinous nu'sance, since '99.

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2011
    Messages:
    461
    sounds like a lecture more than anything.

    coup is a nice writer though.

    he has proved himself in the rstl.
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)