West: 5. Underdog Vs 4. IllweeMan

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Aug 31, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Messages:
    25,952
    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Your Topics Are Here:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=630397

    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!
    test
  2. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Messages:
    29,663
    test
  3. UNDeRDOG

    UNDeRDOG ^^ that's me

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    548
    There's no need to fear
    UNDeRDOG is here
    test
  4. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Messages:
    29,663
    I'm not gonna be able to post tonite, UnderDog
    .. If you would allow it as TeK has already, can you let me post by tomorrow night please?

    I'll find out tomorrow when I come home.

    If you do, Thanks alot man
    .. If not, goodl uck in the later rounds.
    test
  5. UNDeRDOG

    UNDeRDOG ^^ that's me

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    548
    i be friend or foe, but never a hoe
    i shall not accept another win from a no show




    u have my approval as well
    test
  6. Strike2

    Strike2 Man Meets Creator

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2001
    Messages:
    15,985
    good lookin you guys uppin for you..weezy you show tonight or I will whoop you
    test
  7. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Messages:
    29,663
    [size=1.5]I just keyed this, sorry[/size]

    you wake up one day to find everybody dead, everywhere you go, everybody is dead.
    You are the last man alive...


    but ALL the women are still alive.....

    BAMM!!
    "What Woman Want"8. Kon$piracy


    "Yawwwwn!" He stated as he woke from his sleep
    It's 3 A.M - His nightmare must've broken his dream
    Hopped from his bed to the kitchen, he better get rested
    Must've been the pork chops that kept him ingested
    At the fridge he got food - elbow hit the clock, "DUDE!"
    It's 3:15 A.M - Why is the sun shining through?
    He took a closer look at his window, lookin' suspenseful
    Feelin' remotely down - With his shoulders kinda tense too
    Walked over to the window, 'n what had got him swaying?
    Pulled the curtains to reveal millions of bodies laying
    Some on fire, some with no heads - he feels it
    But he woke up in a cold sweat from his dreams, back to realness

    'It was just a dream,' he stated - as he got up.. unhurt
    In and out of the shower quickly - Getting ready for work
    .
    Walked outside to see a new door man - well, woman
    Taxi cab driver was female too. 'but how?.. Could it?'
    The woman fastly turned, with gasps and churns
    'Sir, you do know you're the last man on earth, right?'
    She pulled on the shoulder and stopped the car, locked the doors
    'You can have me for free' - Boy I shoulda knocked the whore
    But I opened the window and jumped out quickly
    Didn't realize I'd bring 32 Females of clout with me
    Went into a shoe store, and the racks were stacked
    With girl's to women's shoes, filled back to back
    Then the most beautiful thing came to me, I felt relieved, it's true
    Until she said 'Let's go in the back and get to lovin', me and you'
    I studdered, see it's true this is fucked up day
    .
    But I can't fuck a woman............................I'm gay

    daMn . .​


    [size=1.5]I just keyed this, sorry[/size]
    test
  8. UNDeRDOG

    UNDeRDOG ^^ that's me

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    548
    mines on the way ... gotta type it i just got out of 1 hour traffic at fucking night time ... because my piece of shit city decided to do massive construction on every highway ... but it's been written ... just needs to be typed
    test
  9. UNDeRDOG

    UNDeRDOG ^^ that's me

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    548
    For better or worst, we’ll weather the weathers forever together
    Never alone, together me and you, we’ll get through whatever
    Whether it be sickness or health, even poverty or wealth
    Quote “I wouldn’t let u hit the ground if I was falling myself”
    I felt her hand, knees trembling, it’s tough to stand
    Priest began “we’ve come to form a holy union of woman and man”
    “Place the band, do you take this woman to have and to hold”
    And instead of saying “I do”, I respond with “hello”

    ~it was only a dream~

    I saw my future in her eyes before she could even say hi
    Her smile outshined the sky, with her name she replied
    I told her mine, we spoke of times when we were passer bys
    Contact with eyes, yet speechless, seems that we both were shy
    I had realized this girl was special, before I had met her
    But respectful to MY lady, I wasn’t able to sweat her
    Still I kept her in my life, my feelings growing deeper within
    But when my relationship ended, she felt me as only a friend

    Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art
    The answer is neither; either that or someone’s not playing their part
    I’ve seen romantic comedies, movies of drama and action
    And in the end all of them always finish in passion
    It’s tough graspin the truth, when your influences are false
    Of course love aides in masking most of life’s flaws

    Days passed, we still kicked it, the feelings she not feeling
    My heart’s hole has me illing, but somehow I’m dealing
    It’s killing me slowly, not healing, I’m dying inside
    Alone I occasionally cried, but with her I swallowed my pride
    Tried changing her heart and mind, many a times
    But I was at her side, while various guys were feeding her lines
    They’re telling you lies, I pleaded to her, they’d never treat you like me
    And you’ll never even know it, unless you try it and see
    But she really wasn’t hearing me, she stuck to her ways
    And I moved on to another, but my love never phased
    Days went away, we chilled less, things weren’t the same
    But heart has always raced when I’m hearing her name

    Me in tuxedo, she was looking great in gown
    We smiled at each as if the only one around
    Vows were read, hands grasped, priest asked if there was any objection
    And I sat there in the crowd, bit my tongue while, thinking, reflectin
    test
  10. jweaksfromdapike

    jweaksfromdapike The Pain and the Poetry

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2001
    Messages:
    11,028
    illweeman...flow was coo...and did a good job with telling your story..but b/c it was rushed it didnt come out as good as it could have...some specifics in the story were missing and made the verse seem a little less complete...the twist was decent...nothing special...underdog...good flow..beat out illweemans...and did a nice job of showing the emotion for the girl that you spoke of...imagery was on point..and basically a more complete verse..and better read...the ending was coo as well...

    vote=underdog
    test
  11. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    Vote - Underdog

    UD had a well crafted verse - lovely use of writers devices - smooth flow - a story that was well conceived and excuted - especially at the ending - nice bringing it all back. Wee had a decent verse - but it just paled in comparison in every aspect save humor.
    test
  12. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    test
  13. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2001
    Messages:
    22,962
    Ive got to say I liked both of yalls verses. Two different styles and concepts were put into both. Weeman had a good flow, I liked the storyline and how you flipped it around, made me giggle a little at the end. Underdog on the other hand was just wow. Flow was water, great storyline, it made me feel how I felt when it happend to me. Its no bias either. Just Underdog had a better overall verse, structurlly and well just about everything else.

    Vote - Underdog
    test
  14. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Messages:
    29,663
    Word - You can close this up
    .. I'm done with RM for a minute

    Gratz Underdog, 'n I hope you go far with this ish.

    Pz
    test
  15. Mr.Perfect

    Mr.Perfect New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2001
    Messages:
    25,645
    somewhat of a surprise here....good flow, well though out verse, just overpowered mr. weeman


    Vote=- Underdog
    test
  16. WWIII

    WWIII Guest

    Vote - Under Dog.

    weez - flow was good, funny short story. It's a shame you had to rush. p.s. I knew you were gay all along!

    Underdog - NICE. I loved the verse. Emotion was there. Very well written. You won this.

    Oh and my city started construction on every street recently as well. So I can identify.
    test
  17. solution!

    solution! shockgod

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2000
    Messages:
    7,384
    neither verse was anythin really great

    weezman seemed like he didnt care thta much n underdog seized the opportunity.

    i got underdog winnin on the grounds thta his verse kept me focused more than his opponents, i found myself driftin off when i was readin weezmans.

    vote - underdog
    test
  18. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

    Joined:
    May 3, 1999
    Messages:
    27,824
    I vote UD also..... ILLWEE didnt focus deep enough on this.
    test
  19. J.Christ

    J.Christ Registered User

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    955
    Vote - UD

    Man...this match wasnt that great man...

    Straight verses from each, but UD took it, better plot.
    test
  20. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

    Joined:
    May 3, 1999
    Messages:
    27,824
    UD wins.
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)