WEST: 5. Athiest and Formal Logic -VS- 8. Profit C and Urizen

Discussion in 'RSTL Grudge Matches and Tournaments' started by DiC GeTs GuLLy, Aug 21, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,962
    [​IMG]


    The Standard League Rules will be Enforced in the Tag Tournament

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Friday 12:00am PST/3:00am EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Sunday: 12:00am PACIFIC/3:00 Midnight EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    Voting:
    • If you do not show you can still vote and post the links in your match to receive full voting points. In addition, if you do not show, yet vote on at least 4 matches (Or, every match available, should there be less than 4 matches to vote on) you will remain in the league.
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! If your vote has been edited, even it was only to hide it, your vote will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If You Don't Post A Verse, You Don't Get To Vote Unless You're An Ex Champ. Ex Champs Must Vote On A Minimum Of 4 Battles For Their Votes To Count While They're Not In The League Or Have No Showed In Their Match. If They Fail To Vote On All 4 Matches Before Due Times, None Of Their Votes Will Count.
    ____________________________________________________________________

    I Have No Problem With Crew Votes, But I'm Going To Limit Them To 2 Crew Votes Per Match Because Any More Than That Seems Severely Biased And It's Only Fair To Not Be Cluttering Your Crew Mates Match With Votes. Any More Than 2 Crew Votes And None Of The Crew Votes Will Count At All. Got To Keep Shit Fair And This Has Been An Obvious Problem Of The Past.



    TOPICS: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1004335
    test
  2. Atheist

    Atheist Storyteller

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Messages:
    1,707
    test
  3. Urizen

    Urizen I hate humans

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2004
    Messages:
    6,700
    this should be fun
    test
  4. Urizen

    Urizen I hate humans

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2004
    Messages:
    6,700
    [​IMG]

    I will let my eyelids meet to let my mind speak
    image so vividly weak yet my blood fills with heat
    every time it flashes every other thought it thrashes
    with sanity it clashes but I cant deny this
    feeling of superiority over humanity
    every time my memory visits this entity
    of evil which is a necessity to any fatality
    its burden so heavy yet filled with a beauty
    only I can see every plea is made easy
    if only you believe in this deity
    its my religion my definition of life's mission
    not a rendition of a faith placed in intermission
    waiting for a prophet that will never show
    but deaths mere name makes every vein in my eye socket glow
    I will replace his current state as the ceo of your faith
    hope fuelled by hate with a passion strong enough to devastate
    any and every negativity on my dream
    will meet the definition of what death means
    that is why I did what I did and those events took place
    the aftermath is bullshit but now I can look death proud in the face
    so shrink dont ask me nothing else
    I gave you my story that alone is wealth
    if used proper and if not you are just like the rest
    now leave me be and let me have my rest

    Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    another terrorist attack did succeed
    there were no warnings to heed
    on a hot summer day an Arabic man
    set forth to fulfil the most gruesome plan
    entered a swimming pool with two machine guns
    fired one shot and when panic hits the mass runs
    but only one way out ... that was past him
    that alone decreased there chances of survival to slim
    every shot released was aimed at head height
    kids adults death came to everyone in his sight
    25 dead then when his bullets ran on empty
    he took out a knife screaming come get me
    cut 5 people whose condition is now critical
    it is yet unverified but its believed his actions were biblical
    a mission from Allah ... like all Muslims are believed to do
    he took the holy war upon himself but again we dont know if its true
    but we believe he has ties to the jihad and had contact with Osama
    too bad that this religion thrives on creating this kind of drama
    we should ban all beards and towels covering heads
    we should ban the Koran to avoid leaving more people dead
    one religion means one opinion so they are all the same
    check them 5 times before letting them enter a plane
    we will not let another mistake like this come to pass
    we will destroy terrorism with toxic gas
    we will kill this man before he has the chance to inspire more
    we will find and eradicate Osama thus decimating their core
    I your president promise you this
    * he retreats from the mic and whispers from his lips*
    man I totally run this bitch​
    test
  5. Atheist

    Atheist Storyteller

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Messages:
    1,707
    Topic: Dare To Dream.

    The year is 2103 AD. The world government has enslaved Earth’s population with mind control devices, making each and every person a slave to the system. The freedom of speech and the unlimited boundaries of imagination have been taken from us, except for a small band of rebels who risk their lives for the freedoms that they know exist; for the freedoms that will make us human again.


    “WHERE IS HE!?”
    he yelled to the crippled body on the darkened floor
    as his monstrous voice echoed in the massive chest of the corridor.
    “I ain’t tellin’ you shit…”
    Jake meekly replied, acting like he was feeling all right,
    but deep in his eyes you could sense that he was screaming inside.
    Suddenly a hard fist crashed down on the stretch of his jaw,
    knocking out several of his teeth. He tried suppressing a cough
    but his chest was swelling and fraught
    as a congestion of blood came pulsing from
    his throat; he tasted the silver pang of iron on his throbbing tongue.
    “I ain’t gonna ask you twice,” warned the man in the trench coat
    as he finger tapped a syringe like an executioner from death row.
    “You ain’t gettin’ nothin’ from me; I ain’t snitchin’, bro.”
    He dug his fingernails deep in his palms, “My lips are closed.
    You can’t control us forever. Soon we’ll be free from your grasp;
    God, I can almost taste the freedom…”

    “Well, we’ll just see about that.” (14)

    * * * * * *

    Jake’s corpse was a mangled beauty; it shivered wearily
    as it hung from bloodied meat hooks. His flesh was gilded heavily
    with deep lacerations and needle marks that fastened his skin, as
    the man in the trench coat held the feet to stop the cadaver from swinging.
    “You should have heard him scream,” he laughed into the phone
    in the sickest of tones, while his fingertips chipped at the bones
    of the corpse. “We got the info on their leader, Joseph Thompson…”
    “Get him,”
    the voice on the line butted in.

    “Yes, sir, we’re on it.” (22)

    * * * * * *

    The city-centre was a hullabaloo of zombie-sodden minds,
    who drooled from their mouths and had awfully hardened eyes.
    These were the victims of the government’s mind control;
    these zombies would never taste what their lives would likely hold.
    “I will free you,” I mumbled, my chest becoming filled up with rage
    seeing humans like this.
    Joseph… I could swear the winds just whispered my name.
    I turned and saw two men in trench coats; eyes hidden by shades,
    “Nah, wrong person, pal,”
    I muttered without a flinch in my face.
    “You positive?”
    one asked, while the other hummed to himself,
    slowly flittering his trench coat open, revealing the gun in his belt.
    My heart stopped; it’s ‘them’? but I couldn’t even stop to answer
    cause they both removed their pieces, itching to cock their hammers.
    I lunged at one; reached for the cannon attached to his hand
    and pistol-whipped him, grabbed his forearm and snapped it in half.
    The other tried to fire – click-click – his chamber had lodged,
    so I quickly took aim, unleashed iron and gave him a face-full of shots.
    His body dropped heavily; the other was lying, writhing in pain.
    His arm in crescent shapes, I clutched the revolver right in his face; (40)
    “WHO SENT YOU!?”
    but he just smiled, his teeth wet with blood;
    “Turn around, asshole! You’re dead, you fuck!”
    I spun on my feet, my gaze was met by numerous silhouettes
    just ten steps away; so many that they filled the breadth
    of the thin alleyway. Some were zombies with no hope in their eyes
    while others were them; pistols drawn, ready to dispose of my life.
    I jumped for cover, panic-stricken; this isn’t how I usually feel,
    so I grabbed hold of himself, and a zombie to use as a human shield.
    “YOU GONNA KILL ONE OF YOUR OWN!?”
    I screamed at the top of my lungs.
    But they opened fire and peeled back the top of his skull.
    “THEY’RE CONTROLLING YOU!”
    I yelled, in hope that the zombies would listen.
    But they kept rushing forward, closing in on my position.
    One seized me, but I flipped and caught him in a sleeper hold,
    then twisted as hard as I could, his neck dangled in lethal folds.
    Suddenly two grabbed me from behind, held my arms outstretched
    as another approached, pistol drawn, and riddled my frame with lead.
    I kissed the asphalt, my mouth overflowing with blood,
    tryna mumble freedom but the words wouldn’t let go of my tongue.
    They stood over my wilting body; “You’re only freedom is death,”
    then cocked the hammer…

    and squeezed the cannon on the side of my head. (60)
    test
  6. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,698
    [hide]ok just to be flat honest, I couldnt quite follow Profit C and Urizen's stuff....the rhyming didn't do so well in the beginning, it did clear itself up some but made it hard for me to wanna keep reading since I couldn't pick up a consistent scheme. I liked the topic choice and you had some interesting lines in there with good descriptions and nice keywords throw in, but mostly I was honestly bored here. I think I coulda seen a better effort

    Atheist and Formal had a more consistent story, a much better flow and structure and I didn't have to really dissect it to figure out what was going on. I think these 2 are probably more seasoned, or at least they were more prepared when they wrote theirs.

    Either way, good effort by both parties,

    vote = Atheist and formal logic[/hide]
    this vote will be discussed -Pent
    test
  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    [hide] vote- atheist and formal logic

    atheist and formalv brought a full stoey to the table.. sometimes i thought however there was too much dialogue taking away from the rhyme because it is supposed to be a rap...

    but it was a cool piece...

    profit c and urizen... u kids did alright but it was a little bit harder to follow and i just didn't get into as much as i would have liked... [/hide]
    test
  8. Annihilation

    Annihilation CLAUS HOUSE

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2003
    Messages:
    458
    [hide]
    Prof/Uri

    this was cool i thought the scheme presented an easy flow to follow writing was good story presented some interesting elements but i thought both parts were disjointed and while they connected on some level didn't really mesh cohesively into one verse.

    Atheist

    yawn ive already read this before, good story, good scheme, nice dialogue balh blah blah balhb balh balh balh i already knew how this battle was gonna end before it started, this just outshines uri/profits on most levels.

    boring.

    fuck u formal logic for not showing u fuck.

    vote: atheist

    [/hide]
    test
  9. Shrug

    Shrug Street Poet

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    158
    [hide]Profit C and Urizen

    i couldnt really get into your piece either unfortunately. i really wanted too. The picture topic you posted got me pumped but i just could not feel it. the flow was off at points. at least as it read to me. and believe me i tried. a few times i read over to see if i just read it wrong but i couldnt find it. I think that Athiest and Formal Logic came a lot more as a whole. their two writing styles intigrated so very well, and the story was very enjoyable to read. The opener was raw and that gave me so much more to look forward to as I read more and more. Their piece did trail off a bit too but it came back on track quickly. I just felt that Profit C and Urizen's piece had superfluous lines thrown in that crippled the overall flow and dopeness of the piece and Athiest and Formal Logic's drop was cleaner and more enjoyable to read. anyway

    Vote= Athiest and Formal Logic[/hide]
    test
  10. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,962
    [HIDE]
    Urizen and Profit C, it didn't really sound like you two saw eye to eye on your topical choices and wrote totally different pieces. Right as I started getting into the first part it changed into a holy war theme. All in all it was cool to read them by themselves, but together they didn't go together so well. The narration was nice in both though, needs a lil work on the flow in both, but I liked the death parts with good vocab and the holy war part had detailed descriptions that were good too. Hope to see you both in the league soon.


    Formal and Atheist, nice detailed descriptions with solid flow and movement in the narration from start to finish. Crazy choice of topics, a zombie/war flick in 1 right? Interesting take on it and the details made this a very entertaining read as it kept a nice pace and built suspension for me to want to read more. Basically a well told story from you two and I can't even tell who wrote what so yall make anice team together


    Vote Formal and Atheist

    [/HIDE]
    test
  11. SteveThaGreat

    SteveThaGreat Zeus

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2006
    Messages:
    37
    [hide]

    urizen--- i think you would've won this if your rhyme scheme wasn't so annoying... i understand that flow will always be secondary to content and other more important elements of a topical piece but it just bothers me when lines are rhymed in such an elementary fashion. a poem is about telling a vivid story while maintaining rhythym... this isn't just a story-telling contest, story's have to be incorporated into a hip-hop type of backdrop... and virtually all things hip-hop are rhythmic and flow-based, so although it might not seem like such an important factor to you when writing a topical it can only help you to use multi's and maybe a more even rhyme scheme... anyway, the content was cool, solid piece minus the flow stuff.



    atheist--- i liked your piece a lot, i think the direction you took with the topic was your strongest point. your creativity prob won you this match in my opinion... it would've been nice if you had took that preface you used to develop your piece and actually made it a part of ur piece. i't might've been difficult to convey that preliminary foundation but it would've been dope.

    either way my vote is for atheist and logic for a better overall written topical


    [/hide]
    test
  12. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    [hide] Profit C and Urizen -- I deleted my vote for u guys so this one is going ot be less in depth -- the first guy -- you verse irritated me because it came from nothing, the second verse should've been first. The fact that you went of a single syllabe 'e' sound as your rhyme for the majority of your verse also irked the shit out of me. Also the vocabulary in combination with the rhyme sound REALLY threw off the flow of the piece as usually "e" is a common sound (just my take on it). anyways the collaberative effort was pretty nice, I like how one person was the narrator and one was the main character, and the change of scenery was nice.

    Athe /formal -- I dont know what your problem is but because you (ath, i see no sign of formal in this verse) are a VERY NATURAL rhymer you are not aloud to place a setting OUT OF RHYME. BEsides that this, from beginning, has a very 'equilibrium'/'farenheight 451' feel to it. to the verse though

    the rhyming is really crisp here, even though in places it uhhhhh is wack "skin, as//swinging" i know that was part of a longer multi but thats the part that irked me.
    Loved the human sheild line/multi. VERY dope approach to the topic man. Dare to Dream/ Freedom in Death -- death being the cousin of sleep. VERY VERY impressed with that. I'm feeling this verse, and more so because it was a drama, it was kind of forseeable but only because of the sixty line limit. Overall I liked everything about this verse except minor nitpicking things that others may or may not agree with but no matter what all that matters is

    vote - ath/formal for a more entertaining piece[/hide]
    test
  13. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    Everyone is writing to that picture of death...I dunno just not feeling that vibe....and the piece wasn't even all that good to be drop dead honest wit ya'll.....mad cliche and just didnt hold my interest at all

    the other piece was aiiiight....it had a better structure/plot and the story was interesting....more original and both seemed to work well together.....overall Athi and FormaLogi easliy take this with just their mere creativitiy which is what I look at

    props

    VOTE: Athi and Logi
    test
  14. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    atheist and Logic Win
    Profit C should sign into the RSTL (i know Urizen already is, MrMister)
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)