West: 11. Formal Logic Vs 3. Cigma

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Aug 31, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Your Topics Are Here:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=630397

    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!
    test
  2. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    I'm here. Lets do this.
    test
  3. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

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    test
  4. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    Vividly kissed by - the subtle agony of bliss...
    What an ironic twist - fate mixed...
    Amidst a mind that's remiss - Resigns me to this...
    A prisoner of loves war - confined without bricks...


    My spine silently lists - A compass...
    With the needle missing like hope...
    As if - Pandora's Box had never been closed...
    Adrift - on my face a of sea repose...
    Although below tumultuous oceans flow...


    I'm thrown - blown - on a trail of tears...
    Like Odysseus - far from home - Wandering fear…
    Wondering - do seeds sprout wherever they're sown...?
    In the heart of a girl - not of my flesh but my soul…
    Will she remember me - even after she's grown...?


    Me - 21 years old - trying to handle my biz...
    School - work - no time for that game - relationships...
    From what I've seen n heard anyway - they're all bullshit...
    But love is simple - pure - when it comes from kids...


    This girl is - the X in my life equation...
    Amazing - a variable once unknown...
    The child of child - now five years old...
    Her smile a warm spot that banishes the cold...
    Shy yet bold - she shares her laugh - precious as gold...
    Which fills that hole inside - causing me not to fold…


    See she's my daughter…
    Not from my blood - from what I've taught her...
    Affection - to be dainty - a little lady...
    When her mom couldn't be bothered...
    But it's not me - it's my friend - who'll play the new father...
    Since I know them - I know him...
    I fear this lamb will be slaughtered...


    There for the good - boyz - we went to high school...
    Now he's using people - abusing drugs - an ass acting a fool...
    No job - no car - no future - a buffoon - a clown...
    He's spiraling down with an attitude that's making me frown...
    The hole that he's digging - filling with hate - baby girl will drown...


    Case in point - her mom - him - were in an accident - car wreck...
    I took her to the lawyer to pick up the insurance check...
    I knew in my mind - when mom went back to him it'd be spent...
    14 grand out the window - and up their noses it went...
    While she played in the other room - with her best friend neglect...


    When she tells him I love you - it hurts me bad…
    Cuz that should be me when she says - "I love you dad..."
    I honestly feel - that it ain't him she feels…
    It's just something transferred from what her mom spills...


    To be real - together - they often treat her like shit…
    How could God gift - two coke addicts with...
    Such a wonderful kid - I'm miffed - I don't know what to do...
    My hands are stuck like they've been doused in glue...

    If I voice my troubled thoughts - does that make me untrue...?

    Born to a mother who - needs tangled webs to weave...
    Beautiful - Destiny - what kind of life will she lead...
    Her heart hurts - and I feel her pain when she grieves...
    Bleed - flinch at everyone of my boys numerous misdeeds...

    Lessons learned from a seed - stressing to be free...
    Blessing to me or tears decreed - Little Miss Fortune...
    Which one shall she be...?


    The question is - is it all up to me...?



    Topic: You're in a war - any war....
    test
  5. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

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    ...Here it was, my day with God, I didnt know what to say;
    I put away my cross, got down on my knees & began to pray.
    I looked away, & to my aray, there I saw the conclusion,
    With no point proven, I saw the light or the mere illusion.


    *Sunrising*...Back to the beginning...


    The light shown bright, another day, another good & evil fight,
    ...Wrong vs Right, but today had the feel of a different type.
    Despite the feeling, I didnt hesitate to proceed & kiss the ceiling;
    Reiling from yesterday, I left for the chruch to keep on healing.
    Dealing with the sins of others, another day of cheating lovers,
    Mothers asking bout abortions, cause they forgot to use a robber.
    All undercover, with an occasional sister who loves her brother,
    Hunger, all this in the wood works, in a world full of lumber.
    Under the covered sun, theres no lighting but thunder of the gun.
    Run down buildings, a park w/ hustlers & junkies looking for fun,
    Nothing to be done, city officials run to elect, church the answer.
    The cities anger reigns, & pain makes the situation damper,
    The cancer of a slowing dying city placed on in my hands;
    With no fans of my plans, I fear I cant meet the streets demands.
    I can see the grand building, wheelding the hopes of many,
    With plenty of dreams, streaming from a river that was empty.

    *Entering the chruch*

    Something lurked inside still, I could seemingly feel the hurt,
    But I cursed it off, thought nothing of it & got back to work.
    I searched my thoughts all day, as I preached and lectured,
    Pressured, knowing the point, but not able to define the texture.
    Never would I ever imagined what was to happend next,
    I took a breath, & there I could feel him, & this nearness of death.
    ...Preplexed; I didnt know who, what, when, where & why;
    The sky opened, & rain poured, as if God were in pain & cried.

    *A shadowed figure lept from alley*

    Sadly, thats when I figured it all out, but I wasnt going to pout,
    Or scream & shout, you'd think a priest would have more clout.
    Without a doubt, I knew this was it, this was my time to go,
    So I asked him what he wanted; I could feel a lump in my throat
    "Yo I want all your dough, and then get on your knees queer!"
    In my ear I heard God's voice preaching, "There's nothing to fear"


    *Revert to the top if you dont understand*


    *Sitting down*

    ...Im not upset about what happend, in fact Im laughing...
    ...Interacting with nurses that are only acting...
    ...Fact being Im better off here, that man's end is gory...
    ...Sure we had different fates, but I got all the glory...
    ...There's the story to it all, I hope I made it clear...
    ...I never felt fear, now God could you please pass me a beer...




    .....The Saga Continues.....​
    test
  6. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

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    All I got to say is Cigma is sick. Great verse brah.
    test
  7. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    Thank you, I'm glad you showed. You're verse wasn't too bad either.

    *grin*



    PO
    test
  8. Atheist

    Atheist Storyteller

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    Vote: Formal Logic.

    Cigma's verse was interesting, but got quite boring, and the flow was so slow, that I really had trouble reading it. The content was good though, but the way you expressed it had me boring. This is DEFINATELY one of your weaker verses, and I know you can come 1000 times better than this.

    Formal Logic came good though, it wasn't EXTREMELY dope, but it was dope. I liked how he expressed his ideas through the eyes of his character, and what it would be like to HIM if God appeared before him. Well developed, and a nicely dropped verse.
    test
  9. WWIII

    WWIII It has begun...

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    Both were dope. I'll be back in later to vote. I'll try to give a good breakdown at that point and time.
    test
  10. prophetional

    prophetional hokey muh-fuckin' pokey

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    vote = cigma...
    i can feel the internal struggle over the child.... been down that road before... the flow was poetic, smooth throughout. the story was touching and deep. and the way you flipped the topic. creative.
    formal, you came aight, but not nice enough..... cigma edged you out in all categories. just my opinion....
    test
  11. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    test
  12. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

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    1-1 ... Vote damn it
    test
  13. WWIII

    WWIII Guest

    Okay, it's too hard to call this. I read it though, more than once so I have to leave some sort of comments. Different styles, different approaches. Hard to vote on for me. For some reason. So I give it a tie. Which means nothing to you guys, but at least maybe my words on your stories will.

    Formal had the flow I like to follow and an entertaining verse. See entertainment for me is key, because I seriously get bored very quickly and it can make me not even want to finish a verse. Yours however captured my interests throughout. You're very talented indeed. Cigma had an in depth, vivid piece as well. I liked the emotion. The imagery, it all came together. The flow was nice. I caught on to it and it worked out perfectly. Even though different from the norm. Very nice verse, and a very good match-up. I'm sorry I can't decide who should move on. I just liked both verses alot.

    Vote - tie. Good luck to you both.
    test
  14. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    Votes :

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=631071

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=631095

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=631092

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?postid=7211547

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?postid=7211589

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?postid=7211656



    I'm really leaning towards throwing out Atheist vote - not only did he say I didn't have flow - and that I'm capable of writing pieces a 1000 times better on a verse I feel that was one of my strongest - which makes his breakdown suspect - but because he faces the winner of this match...

    Usually I wouldn't begrudge someone of a vote - and I'm not trying to be a punk here - but I feel that in the case of such a low voter turnout - he's biased and will vote against the person he doesn't want to face...feel me?


    Uno.
    test
  15. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    Both verses showed the deep thought provoking approach.... both had a unique way of presenting in its own.. however one of you showed alot more vividry and a bit more clarification in applying a deepness.... but the other showed a unorthoxic structure of utilizing a poetical feel... which either makes or breaks a verse....

    my vote goes to FL

    his rhyme made me focus into more understanding of his story and message clearly.
    test
  16. J.Christ

    J.Christ Registered User

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    Nice match.

    I actually read them both twice, dope verses by each, some deep thinking involved it would seem.

    Cigma had a nice piece, dope flow to it as well, I liked pretty much every aspect of it.

    Formal also came well, but..iI feel that Cigma outclassed you here. Even though you did real well.

    Overall it was a close match, but I feel Cigma egded this one out, nicer flow, and since everything else was pretty even, I had to base the final thought and vote on it.

    Vote - Cigma

    Dope match.
    test
  17. Text

    Text Dot Dash

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    right, this was a hard decision to make, both had some hot imagery & both also had a very deep feel to it. flow was nice on both point's but i'd say fl was better in the flow aspect. i found cigma's hard to grasp at part's tho. dope content in both piece's but my vote goes to Fl i just found it an overall better read.

    Vote - Formal Logic
    test
  18. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    Cigma wins... FL fails to post 6 url's.
    test
  19. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
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