West:1. Insanevillian Vs 16. W1cked

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Aug 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    1.Insanevillian Vs 16.W1cked

    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Your Topics Are Here:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=626594

    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!
    test
  2. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    test
  3. W1CKED

    W1CKED . . of Gods & Earths

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    test
  4. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    damn it, now i gotta write...
    test
  5. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    Topic... 10 year old girl on her birthday... who gets kidnapped!!!

    BOOM!!!​


    A Kidnapping

    deep in sleep, my demons creep to snatch my awaiting soul...
    creating the mold of prophecies better left dead and untold...
    wishing my dread can unfold, i awake in a room that sealed my cries...
    I realize through my real eyes dreams can also tell me real lies...
    showin despise to the man in front of me, he stares with intent...
    incense couldn't mask the odor he wore as if it was heaven sent...
    in this event, fear told my ten year old Inflicted mind to scream...
    kind he seemed pulling out a handkercheif, to find my facial stream...
    I beamed in admiration until a slap reminded me of my frustration...
    with elation he said, "dirty Caucasian these feathers represent my nation!..."
    my lips mumbled, "we're on vacation, daddy was taking me to the beach...
    "your fakin!" he said as he reached for his gun to smoke me like cheech...
    a loud screech came from the door, in came more featherheads galore...
    "we'll feed u to the boars if u kill that ignorant pale faced slore!..."
    they roared, "we need her to figure out the curse of the white man...
    now Craka, my land has cut u off for trying to steal with light hands!..."
    "me, why man?" I croaked, " my dad said he left u a reservation..."
    Without Revelation I Didn't Understand Their Angry Conversation...
    "It Could Be An Invasion!" One Said To Another In Utter Fear...
    "No! In Another Year, Everyone Will Know We Were The First Ever Here...
    "Where's Mommy!" I Cried, The Cheif Said," Silence U Fuckin' Imbacel!...
    Now We're Invincible! And U like Your Skin Will Be Invisible..."
    Thinkin' That Wasn't Sensible I Laughed, " Ha Ha, U Guys Are Silly...
    Really U Sound like My Drunk Daddy When He Says He's Gonna Kill Me...
    This Is the United States U Feel Me? U Guys Are Really Nutty..."
    That is When They All Laughed, Everyone Else Got The Joke But Me...
    "That's Where Ur Wrong Buddy!" He Said, " Now Plant It!" My Fright Shaped...
    "Ya See Our Ancestors Watched The Old Film Planet Of The Apes...
    Your People Planned It And Raped Our Land, Stealing Our Precious Soil...
    Revenge Boiled, And A Plan Of Inventing A Time Machine Unfoiled...
    We Recoiled, Bringing Present Technology Back To The Past...
    Now Your The Last White Girl in The United Tribes, And That's Your Ass!..."

    What A Fucked up Birthday!!!
    test
  6. W1CKED

    W1CKED . . of Gods & Earths

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    -Topic-
    you are a shrink who has been seeing a patient for years...they are clinically depressed, and have taken everything possible...now they feel like it is time to end it all...what do you do?

    ---
    W1CKED Presents,
    “Disillusioned”
    (The Doc & Janis)

    Jan has Cried tears the last 5 years, as I’ve helped her survive fears
    & she’s alive here cause her strides pear through what the tides rear
    But as her eyes peer, I see that once again; depression resides near
    See? Jan’s problem comes and goes, but medicine numbs the blows
    That she has come to know, from back when she was young, 2 old
    But the medicine hasn’t been-working, so I have 2 see her in-person
    Plus my diagnosis haven’t been-certain, & her condition-worsened
    So she sits on my couch, so bleak, & her frame is slouched, so weak
    ...I could not imagine a worse session, than what I am about to see
    Then I ask her the first question, & she opens her mouth to speak..

    ---
    My head is aching & this medication is testing patience,
    Plus the last pill led to shaking, so my bed was quaking,
    & the counter resting agent with Prozac is devastating,
    So my head is racing, cause of what you fed ya patient!


    The amount of unused medication is quickly decimating
    & the meditating hasn’t stopped your head from racing?


    No. My conditions worsened, and my vision’s blurring
    As I envision hurting, plus I feel my intuition burning...


    I understand but yet again, I have another test medicine
    That is better then, the shit that you’ve been ingesting in


    No! Fuck your pill, I’ve got a hollow tipped one to take,
    And don’t think this gun is fake, cause in this gun is fate!


    No Janis! I’ve just got to say, that suicide is not the way!
    We all see bad times, So think before you cock & spray!


    I’ve thought, and my meaningless life hasn’t known light!
    I can’t stand my own sights, so I’ll just take my own life!!


    NO!!!....

    Shut up!..Do you know what it’s like to be beaten daily?!!
    My life is fucked and my plastic surgeon black males me!!
    Do you know what its like to be the odd kid out at school?!
    Or have ur father come home every day, only 2 shout at u?!
    Do u know what it’s like to be born a man, only 2 switch?!

    huh?.....you were born a / ahhhhhhhh!!!!.......shut up bitch!
    The only place where I am excepted is on dumb rap sites!!!
    I’m only popular cause I’m a mod!..But I can’t rap right!!
    So shouldn’t I pull the trigger, or give myself bloody wrists?
    Lmao@I win 50% of my battle through my aim buddy list!!!
    I’m so pathetic!!!!!! I cant even describe this lame feelin’!!!
    Not to mention, I go by the wack name: Insane Villain!!!!
    I’m only given hate!!!.. fuck the god that endowed my life!!!
    So, now see if you can convince me not to Out my lights.....
    *places gun to temple*


    *sighs*
    I see your situation, but I don’t understand the shit u facing
    You are way different from all of my other mental patients...
    You were born a man, then you switched & became a female?
    Your blackmailed by your surgeons, so you want to see hell?
    The pills don’t work, and your homosexuality is deep in sin?
    Plus You only get love at message boards, where u cheat to win?
    & u go by the rap name; IV,& have a total lack of skill?


    Yes, doctor W1, plus I’m tired of life, & I have a lack of will!
    So, y shouldn’t I cock back the steal, then aim & pop to kill?


    So before you-flip, you want me to convince you not to do-it?
    ......To tell the truth, the world would be better without you,-kid
    So fuck the dumb shit: Put the gun to your homo head and shoot, it


    *tear rolls down check, then he/she(IV) pulls the trigger*

    *wipes blood from shoe and picks up suitcase*
    Well, just another day in the office.



    The End


    note: If you notice, the flow gets different after he/she pulls the gun out. That is on purpose. If someone pulls a gun, you wont speak with the same fluency, so I tried to make the flow more choppy after that point in the story
    test
  7. W1CKED

    W1CKED . . of Gods & Earths

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    test
  8. the unorthodox

    the unorthodox New Member

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    pretty good battle

    but

    if the voting was based on rhyme scheme or flow, wicked would have taken this w/ ease.. but.. his verse told a story w/ a played concept.. hardly creative.. what i'm looking for in a topical is a gripping, innovative story.. something i havent seen before.. iv had that.. and wicked didnt..

    therefore

    vote- insanevillain

    pz
    test
  9. W1CKED

    W1CKED . . of Gods & Earths

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    ^What?
    Get the fuck out of here.
    That explanation was str8 ass.

    0-0

    No groopy votes
    No aim buddy list votes.
    None of that gay shit.
    And give a decent explination!

    -W1
    test
  10. Mr.Perfect

    Mr.Perfect New Member

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    this is by far the closest battle ive read this round


    IV- very dark topic, you pulled it off nicely but you could have made it a little longer and let it unfurl more...iono...., but flow was there and imagery was present every step of the way...nice....very nice

    W1cked- i dont beleive for one second you're not an alias, you kept the dialogue going very well between the patient and doctor and the vocab was worthy or webster's, nice wordplay, all around interesting and original


    Upset?...or not....depending on who wicked is


    hate the vote, argue it, tell me im gay :*(...or whatever



    Vote= W1cked


    *dodges tomatoes*
    test
  11. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    WTF?

    that vote counts buddy...

    that kid is in the tournament...

    stfu and stop complaining...

    1-1
    test
  12. Neggativity

    Neggativity shock aka solution

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    vote - iv

    jus overrall more enjoyable verse .. w came nice .. impressed me .. but all he really had on iv was flow .. due to iv's multies not bein to usual standard .. technique .. strucvture .. storytellin .. plot .. twist .. all was on lock by i-vizzle
    test
  13. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Up over Ns's
    test
  14. Strike2

    Strike2 Man Meets Creator

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    wicked you have no controll over the countin of votes if you have a problem take it up with me nebz or tek...I say it counts... its someones opinion..if you have real reason to believe he cheated you..show me and we will work it out..



    for the match itself...

    both were equaly good two surprisin plot twists and such...however wicked had a stronger rhyme technique wich gives him the edge in my opnion...close one...contender for match of the week

    vote wicked..sorry IV...
    test
  15. prophetional

    prophetional hokey muh-fuckin' pokey

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    mos definately a good battle... pretty equal in overall verse quality...
    main differance is, while wicked's rhyme scheme was more original. IV's story was more original....
    so on creativity points
    IV gets the vote.
    test
  16. W1CKED

    W1CKED . . of Gods & Earths

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    3-2

    Lets get some votes in here...

    -W1
    test
  17. Idol Dot Z

    Idol Dot Z Capo Status

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    vote - iv

    w1cked had a ill rhyme scheme, worded everything amazingly but the story itself, especially the endin has been done to death. you just dont do a surprise im suicidial and im also my opponent trick. its lame. if you woulda did anything else you woulda got the win.

    IV had a more creative story, and thats where it comes too. a more creative story and the better overall verse, and thats what iv had.

    vote iv

    but dope shit wicked rhyme scheme w1cked
    test
  18. Strike2

    Strike2 Man Meets Creator

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    dont feel bad to drop a vote on my match too..really I wont mind we're standin at 0-0
    test
  19. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    lol... i will eventually strike...

    4-2 I Vizzle...
    test
  20. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    W1CKID:
    i HATED your plot...i think diss stories suck in the first place, and then the ending was shitty and so obvious i never thought you would stoop to the level of it...you are a talented writer, that is obvious...your multis were nice, flow was pretty damn good though could have been slightly, just slightly, smoother...and you had a solid writers voice...i'm just so disappointed that you took this angle, though i know the topics weren't anything special...i really want you to advance to the next round just to see more from you.

    InsaneVillain:
    how do you get these inspirations to approach topics differently than everyone else?...genius way to approach the topic, because it was a topic that would be boring, so you added an entire new twist to it from the beginning...you kept it interesting...flow wasn't as good as normal, but it was ok...somewhat forced multis...you kept me entertained with the plot, though the dialogue could have been a little better, because it was frankly a little odd...would have liked it to be a little longer.

    close battle, neither came at the standard i think they are capable of
    yet i'm voting for InsaneVillain.
    test
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