[Week 7] 5. PharCyzE(1-0) vs 6. Kuja(5-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Feb 28, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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  2. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    404
    test
  3. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    404
    Week 7


    She remembers the time when life was simple
    Rocking a smile with fresh young dimples
    Life was a game without fear & shame
    Mischief was rife letting her youth take blame
    Oh how she missed those days, those childish ways
    Playing around the farm she was born & raised
    Until that dreaded day when things changed
    Her stomach ached with pain, the feeling was strange
    She was scared, over & over the pain repeats
    As she curled up amougst the blood stained sheets
    Her mind faded as this memory was over..
    That was the day that gave her childhood closure

    Her eyes opened, her surroundings bitter & damp
    The bathroom tap dripped, back in her mind she sank

    she was introduced to her fathers friend Virgil
    A man of wealth & honor, a successful surgeon
    Still a young teen, barely sixteen...
    Instantly saw him as a cash machine
    For weeks she flirted, trying to catch Virgils eye
    Riding up her skirt to reveal her virgins thigh
    But he resisted which led to persistance..
    Lowering her shorts to reveal the hair that existed
    She was bitter & twisted, she pushed & pushed
    Desperately needing cock inside her pussy that gushed
    Until that dreaded day when things changed
    Her body seethed with pain, the feeling was strange
    She slowly whimped, the feel of his cock flooded her mind
    Once again she found a time with blood on her thighs
    Her mind faded as this memory was over..
    That was the day that gave her innocence closure

    Her eyes opened, her vision was fading..
    One more memory came forth, there was no escaping

    A happy scene emerged, a time of great joy
    For she was bearing child, a sweet baby boy
    Her wild days behind her, all the darkness long gone
    Dispite she was still young, a woman of twenty-one
    She felt safe, mature, no longer felt naughty
    Dispite Virgil been well into his forties..
    They were to be a family, it was her fantasy
    To all live together & live forever happily
    Until that dreaded day when things changed
    Her stomach writhed in pain, the feeling was strange
    Bearing this child, god relieved her of duty
    she saw her thighs, both were glistening ruby
    Crying out in terror, she lost her little soldier
    That was the day that gave her faith closure

    Her eyes opened, in her mind she was counting
    So many depressing memories had her drowning..
    Now in the present, her ending became swift
    & this time...
    Her thighs were clean as it poured from her wrists
    She had lost everyone & everything, such a shame
    No one was even left to tell you her name...



    Topic - Drowning

    (in this case drowning within depressing memories)
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  4. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,177
    So, it looks like you took a critique and ran with it. Sprinted....
    Aside from the step up in every phrase of every bar, nearly..
    You worked the Kuja Character Development (K.C.D.) as usual
    Then destroyed the character mercilessly.
    Some great word choices all around, set the mood at times.

    Bearing this child, god relieved her of duty
    she saw her thighs, both were glistening ruby


    It was appealing to the ear, beginning to end.
    To visualize it might be traumatizing.
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  5. BarZ.

    BarZ. Over Everything

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    253
    boom, boom,
    knock at the door.. damn, i know what they wanted
    who is it? earl, whats good homie? shit, no problems
    got to rap'n and chat'n while i twist up the ganja
    hit the spliff.. shit, this that shit! i mumbled while cough'n
    earl bruh, where u been at? i ain't seen ya 2 often
    nigga, i bee get'n it in.. u know the streets be talk'n
    boom, boom,
    wtf..? whose that, it's doughboy bruh - open up
    come in n lock the door behind u, tryna get some bud?
    yeah, that good shit.. a half, n show me love
    n what u blow'n on... eww, that shit stank as fuck
    a lil kushy kush i said go'n 2 back of my crib
    told'em u can hit the blunt.. i'll be back in a jip
    YO BREEZE.! WHAT'S GOOD, DOUGH.! holla quick,
    while set'n him straight, dough said "lets step by the fridge"
    come on, whats good nigga.. reply'n w/ a serious grin
    whose that on ya couch.. him, hit'n that spliff
    that's my nigga earl.. WHY? we go back since kids
    ok listen, i was lock'd up in county do'n a bid
    i seen THAT nigga hit w/ 30.. i think ya dude's a snitch
    it's only been 8 months, he back on the streets and.....
    alotta dopeboys get'n hemmed up.. we dnt know whose sing'n
    informant or not.. dnt fuck wit'em, that nigga is gritty
    somtin dont smell right.... i guarantee that nigga is fishy
    ease back, he's good... trust me - that my mans
    his mom is my mom.. WE get it in LIKE THAT
    aight, as doughboy proceeded out n dap'd my hand
    i understand, but watch ya back breeze.. u know u fam
    ......back hit'n the marijuana w/ earl - minutes went by
    kinda felt like hrs. this time.. nervous - but i don't know why
    can't shake the feel'n that somtins not right
    earl, fiddle'n around stare'n at the sky when i look n his eye
    fuck it, let me tighten up.. this bruh, i ain't gotta size'm up
    can't let this shit blow my high.. as i re-light the blunt
    puff, puff, before pass'n.. BOOM, BOOM, doors crash'n
    lights, smoke.. more action.. sirens, swat n more happened
    it came so quick.. i didn't expect them 2 swarm this fast and....
    wait.. yes i did... cuz that FUCK NIGGA EARL n his poor act'n
    i shoulda got out when i felt the pressure get intensive
    soon as the air got stale block'n the scent of my herbal essence
    earl, head in shame.. eyes felt dead inside w/ pain
    n my heart i know i'll kill'em.. but still, i know i'm the blame
    n my heart i know i'll kill'em.. but still, i can't lie to my face
    n my heart i know i'll forgiv'em.. my bff since come'n of age
    hands in cuffs.. curse'n the world, i felt my heart drop
    adrenaline rushing.. fight'n til they put where the car stop'd
    Judge hit me w/ 65 for the green i had n large blocks
    that's when i woke up... HOLY FUCK! this weed's by far TOP
    that dream felt real as shit.. could've swore i got hemmed up quick
    i ain't even wanna smoke no more.. sike, as i begin to twist
    that shit is the shit... i ain't been that high too often
    think'n bout the nightmare, laugh'n as i compared it to SAW and....
    still crack'n jokes.. than thought, this high so fuck'n awesome
    boom, boom,
    damn.. who the fuck is it? n it better be money talk'n
    ay nigga, it's earl, whats good homie? shit, no problems ......
    [​IMG]














    WAR ON WEED
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  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    76,201
    Kuja wins by no show
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