[Week 51] 7. Cigma(3-1) vs 8. PerfectoUnoJr(1-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Aug 15, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
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    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
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  2. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    142
    Damn. Let's do work!
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  3. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    Gonna need an Extension PUJ if that's groovy.




    Votes Here:
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  4. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
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    Take care of business, man. I can wait.
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  5. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
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    The Gunner of the Last Emperor

    In times of war no one stops to hear the lore of the trials and defeats of battle
    But since it won't end I intend to contend for the ears and the hearts I can rattle
    "Don't become what you fear," is the moral I will sear into you before I depart here
    This is the tale of a ship that I once came to love and it was called the "Last Emperor."

    When it was time to climb into the sky, the sight she provided was most fair
    A ship of the line and the pride of our side in the fight in our war against terror
    With hundreds of guns she would plunder the sun for the energy to keep from stalling
    A thousand men tended to her every whim for the day an enemy would come calling

    The captain and crew understood the value of being sent to the destroyer
    First orders came in, our first target chosen and we went on the hunt to destroy her
    They say in a war at least two sides will score so I don't know what to call that meeting
    We opened up fire, watched explosions transpire, but we found our excitement was fleeting

    Escape pods shot out, orders had them shot down, I didn't know what else do
    I fought with my soul, added more to the toll of deaths cause my aim was true

    Devastation brought was too much food for thought so we sought the captain for some reason
    Said: "Peace through strength was our nation's last faith so get back and man your own station"
    We all thought it weird that we'd all become feared in a war designed against terror
    Soon it was clear the captain had been steered by a burden that he could not bear

    After a tour, Sirens of home had lured us away from the endless sea of black
    We were two days away from the Milky Way, when we came under an attack
    Over a dozen ships launched hundreds of bombs that ripped into our hull, I was afraid I confess
    We limped out alive, took out others who would try to follow us into the darkness

    Moving at half pace, fear written over my face as the engineers went to work quickly
    My job as gunner, was to defend my brothers but inside my gut I felt a bit sickly
    A universe against us, there was no hope left because we'd become all of their nightmares
    But my role was simple, even though the ship was crippled, I would face Death's stare

    I began to think what all of my enemies thought when their fate could be seen
    It must have been close to the image of the ghost the Last Emperor would be

    To make it to port would require some sort of miracle from the heavens
    The captain rang just as the Fates sang, prepare all of the ships weapons
    Soon they caught us and brought some reinforcements, I closed my eyes in prayer
    When I opened them wide, they started to open fire, and began massacre there

    [​IMG]

    I saw my brothers die quick and watched the hull rip, I wondered why I existed
    Heard, "To the last man," I replied, "Well fuck that." I wouldn't die for a ship so twisted
    With urgency I ran and made it to the "tin can," I was not the first to bail out
    All that I hoped was, they had more mercy than us and I'll say I had my doubts

    My paranoia past, didn't know I was the last one out before the bust
    I felt so sickly, the reception would be anything but glorious
    Now I stand before you, Judge, please know I warned you, I am not blameless
    I don't expect mercy, nor do I seek attorneys for all of the enemies' deaths

    The decision's yours now, do I die or am I let down from the chains that bind me
    Whatever you choose I do not stand to lose anything I haven't already​
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  6. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377

    Cease and Desist


    Letters are fetters because of my feathers...
    to sever this tether I'll weather sev'ral endeavors.

    Together…riding on zephyrs intrepid flying through tepid blue skies,
    Mood quite, two sets of eyes, it's sits on mine, mine on the horizon.

    Mind finally enlightened to the frightening giant, monster that I harbor.
    It grins, swaddled toddler pinned to my grim visage, treacherous cargo…

    Thin stitches keeps it malevolence secret but for how long though?
    If I squander time won't survive, Pilgrims die not listening to Squanto.

    Quickening discipline like militiamen, pronto, I marshall a strong hold!
    Onward be stalwart, a tower, live long bold, crossroads are inevitable…

    [​IMG]


    A cleverly lost soul, it's regrettable paying tolls for whenever I chose to dawdle,
    Dodging watching, solely responsible for allowing vile instincts to grow colossal…

    Yet it's not impossible to stop this debacle from ending awful left in regret.
    Indolence has fed this beast while I ceased to bake daily bread and feast. Become hollow.

    Vigilance is key to being free from calamity, unhappily foresee a future loom…
    Views of a hybrid hewn, putrid, creature festooned with wounds and muted.
    Mutilated feeling humiliated for amputating natural appendages and replacing them with waste.

    Reflections of a once vibrant world now laying in ruins, red lava spewing,
    Plumes of toxic fumes ooze through obsidian dunes due to derelict attitudes.



    .
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    [​IMG]

    Let go of suffering and hurt we bear lest we be consumed and bring doom to the earth left barren.​
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  7. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,146
    UNo:
    Dope piece dude.. IMO i think the first few couplets set the stage but then you tend to drag out the verse with not enough new revelations or minor climaxes to keep this going.. Description was dope and the all round mechanics where sweet.. The last few bars brought the piece as whole to a complete finishes and as an entirety this was a really nice drop..

    cigma:
    Oh lord.. opening line you just demolished this ish.. feather - tethered - en-devours and whats beautiful about this not only where you showing how skillful you are at rhyme and your knowledge on the English language you made a solid link to the story to come.. So what I'm saying is as far as rhyme scheme, and structure your like 10/10 on that shit.. Story was cool too like it was short that's my only problem but saying that you still describe the turmoil inside the character who knows what he is delivering yet still goes under duress.. Its such a unique piece.. Awesome..

    vote = cigma

    Both top notch pieces cigma just brought pure fire.. gl guys
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  8. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,692
    Perf - I think this was a nice story. It moved at a nice pace and was really descriptive but i felt like the lines were too long. It just turned a nice story into a novel. I liked that you added internal rhymes to it make smoother but i felt like the lines didn't need to be that long to get your point across. Still a nice read


    Cigma - Lines were a little long as well but not as long as perfect. The rhyming was impressive, this was surprisingly smooth for how long the lines were. Although this was short, it got the point across and didn't cause me to lose interest good work


    V/ Cigma for a better written story. Perfecto...shorten up those lines and you will be hard to beat.
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  9. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    P- you went away from your very accurate poetic narration to a board view of some sci fantasy. I 'm a big fan of your first two verses. Top notch writtens in the way you did them. I felt you hid all that for this verse. Which I felt to be to general, lacking any specifics to get me interested in. I just fell into in the middle of some universe... Not too interesting to me. The lines were a hair to long for me too.

    Cigma--nice little narration here out in left field. Pretty imaginative that you put ideas and metaphors unto these two caharacters...really created a good imagination and mood. This was not too plot driven but it did not have to be. Good format and flow too. I liked how you used commas and the rules of English derp herp.


    V- cig
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  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,692
    Cigma wins 0 to -3
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