[Week 5] 7. T.a.C(1-1) vs 8. Pestilence(1-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Feb 13, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
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    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
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    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Joined:
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    I'm going to try and post soon. I really don't want to be last minute... and... ...

    Well I didn't even look at the topics yet so...
    test
  3. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    I love my daughter, and will always protect her
    Pulling out the shotgun on whoever disrespect her
    Mentor, and always be there to help her
    Teach her to be proud, teach her self-worth
    Guys are transparent, easy to see through
    So don’t fall for their trap, it’s okay to be prude
    You may get laughed at for keeping your purity
    By girls giving it up easy to ease their insecurity
    Be the best you can be, be a strong lady
    Tell guys to keep their hands where they belong, baby
    All their corruptible plans will be thwarted
    And as long as I’m alive, you’ll be supported

    I love my daughter, but fuck her mother
    Around her I get the urge to call her a cunt or other
    Names as I cut or smother her then gut her brother
    But I can’t, cuz I know my lil girl loves her
    So I just blast her to millions, whoever will listen
    Until I’ve destroyed her credibility, my ill mission
    Kill vision, bashing her I expect her fleeing
    To a new state, her fault for being a lesser being
    A fuckin bitch, I’d hang her from a fuckin rafter
    For being too stupid to take her pill the morning after
    But I got my daughter, and I love her, friend
    So I’ll write about killing my ex, then tuck my lil girl in

    I love my daughter, but fuck her friends
    Little sluts always plotting someone’s end
    They’re after her money, the shit truly hurts
    Who says bitches only play guys? They’re using her
    My daughter doesn’t realize, but I see it clearly
    I tell her don’t give em shit, but she don’t hear me
    They want me to take em to the movies in my big Rover
    See, fuckin bitches are always tryna get over
    Fuck women, they’re all fuckin’ below me
    They can blow me, I only like em when they’re below me
    Fuck their bologna, they need their lips locked on my thick cock
    So kids learn that bitches aint shit,
    Sincerely,
    Hip Hop

    write a verse aimed at teaching a kid something...
    test
  4. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Joined:
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    I......

    Is not iconic.. Idolatry is iciness.
    Irises will blind from over-ample amounts of shininess.
    Darkness is the inverse.*
    Imbricate your eyes in iron ore
    Once extracted...*
    an ashen horse grew into an iron horse
    It was that iciness that caused the iron horse derailment
    Introverts in the train fell victim to an iron maiden.
    If all self-impressions were introverted
    And impressions were impaled -n-
    You can see my inquiries from the derailment
    Infinite.
    My innocence froze like an Inuit's toes..
    Don't understand.. This IS how it goes
    Who am I?

    How to explain to which we're inclined?
    Incidents, never imminent, creates an incubus in the mind..
    For instance, I will say tomato I'll also say tomotto..
    I'd fuck Selena Gomez first but I'd settle for a Lovato.
    If you felt it get hot in you..
    Did you think about Furtado or the other Nelly's motto?
    Not in the interminable rather the initial-
    feeling isn't always impartial so I can't claim it official.
    So when you say "I", is I you? Or for what you settle?
    If so... Your I is what the pot called the kettle...

    *ouch! This piece gave me a black eye!*
    If that was you.. You're probably that guy..
    Thats feels impervious.. Yet impotent..
    Sitting there doing nothing cause there's too much
    Ever so intricate-ly.
    Who's with me on this..?
    Cause this is me.. This is I.
    Incensed, indignant all to which I imply.
    Living it in IMAX*
    Like I broken iPod or iPad unresponsive to touch.
    Not really into other humans too much
    Rather intimidate than get intimate.
    They say I'll change in due time.
    Till then I'd rather do big lines
    That look like big "i's"
    Put em where they belong.. In my nise..
    Nose. An error composed by I, I suppose-
    That I'll produce*
    Too many lines that I can't identify with u's.
    If you're confused.. if you can't see.
    If I can't identify with I, you can't identify with me.
    But if you can't identify with you..
    You can identify with a 'c'...
    Or rather.. Identify with a whole ocean if peeps.
    It's a tree of life that keeps life living.
    There is no 'i' in team.
    test
  5. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    TAC:
    Pretty cool verse, the overall meaning showing what most mainstream hip hop produces is pure negativity towards women was cool in its own right.. The emotion in it was strong as far as inner story goes.. I think structure was ok, no forced lines and no lines that stood out as stretched.. The piece itself as a whole was a decent drop, i definitely did like how you flipped the whole verse around with three simple words.. "sincerely hip-hop"

    pest:
    straight up this reminded me of a George Carlin skit where its a controlled high intellect release of words.. Its like you just exploded onto the page and i mean that in such a postive and unique way.. Vocab extremely strong, structure and rhythm truly beautiful.. I did enjoy the whole pointing the finger as I got from this piece the feeling that if "you don’t understand me then you are not a part of my life" - which was cool.. All in all ace dude..

    vote - pestilence

    I think that pest just out wrote TAC.. Pretty awesome match up GL guys..
    test
  6. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
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    60,689
    T.a.C - you started this off very awkward, "Pulling out the shotgun on whoever disrespect her" was weird because adding an s would not have hurt your verse any. Then you became redundant here "Guys are transparent, easy to see through" which really didn't add anything to your story. You could have easily put something there that would progressed your story or added some imagery to it. The story itself was good, which you always have. You played to the topic well, which is your strong suit. Your issue here, and always is, your awkward wording. Gotta fix that big guy.

    Pest - This was a great story. I enjoyed the 'I' concept and was something that was rather refreshing and new to me. I thought the imagery and rhymes were good as well. I don't really have a bad thing to say about this story. Well done


    V/ Pest....his story was just better written. Although T.a.C could have made it interesting if you avoided the awkward lines
    test
  7. Defcon_5

    Defcon_5 Relax and take notes

    Joined:
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    10,099
    TaC ur verse was weird to me, not saying it was bad. But it started with u tryna teach ur daughter things then it went on bashing women. The premise of the letter was to teach kids women ain't shit but to start it out basically uplifting ur daughter then turning around bashing women was counter productive. Still though it was a nice read, flowed well and once u got back on track u hit the topic pretty well

    pest this was a pretty nice read here. The original topis was supposed to be "Dear God, I..." lol but i can see how it was misinterpreted. Still though the way u infused the letter I in ur verse and still made it make sense was very nice. my favorite part has to be the second stanza of ya verse and the line about fertado or the other nellys motto, got a nice laugh out of me. overall this was a very nice peace and i enjoyed the read


    vote=pest
    test
  8. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Joined:
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    ^ lol. Sorry man. I know it was your topic. Didn't mean to screw it up.
    test
  9. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
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    Tac

    Aight well overall this was a pretty decent drop, nothing
    really stood out well tho, but the verse did its job. Flow
    was on point & the emotion was fairly decent, although i
    have read a lot of 'kill the wife' & 'women hating' verses
    this wasnt the best ive seen but wasnt the worse either.

    Around her I get the urge to call her a cunt or other
    Names as I cut or smother her then gut her brother


    So ok, for some reason this stood out to me for all the wrong
    reasons, i dont know it just felt like it was only used for
    its rhyming purposes & didnt really have impact on the verse,
    mainly the inroduction of her brother in the frying pan.

    A fuckin bitch, I’d hang her from a fuckin rafter
    For being too stupid to take her pill the morning after


    pretty nice,


    Pestilence

    Very intresting style here, i liked it, strong discriptions
    keep feeding me nice imagery, the flow was ok, altho at the
    start i did find myself struggling a litte bit.

    an ashen horse grew into an iron horse
    It was that iciness that caused the iron horse derailment


    Wasnt too keen on the overuse of horse here. But nothing major

    Like I broken iPod or iPad unresponsive to touch.
    Not really into other humans too much
    Rather intimidate than get intimate.


    Nice


    Overall this was a nice match up, could easy go either way but
    in this case, pest gets me vote, his verse just engaged me more
    and i felt it was more original.

    Vote - Pest
    test
  10. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

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    test
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Pest wins 4 to -4
    test
  12. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
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    Pest - Wonderful verse, my favorite of the week. It was funny because all I could see was the I's in the verse the first time around - the sound and rhythm of the verse alone was captivating. With more focus the actual verse was very well written - vocab was nicely used etc.

    TaC - I thought it was kind of corny, but in a decent way. The flip was corny - but I mean it still made the verse cool. I liked how you shined the light on issues with women and it flowed well enough. I think in the end the only problem is that nothing in the verse was outstanding - it was good but not 'complete' (in terms of a complete package - not that i thought ur verse was incomplete).

    Overall - pestilence had VOTW imo. It was a magnificent display of his writing ability and a great topical.

    Pest
    test
  13. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    test
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