[Week 49] [Contender] 3. Cigma(2-0) vs 4. ShadowWarriorfs(31-16)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
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    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
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    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    test
  3. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    test
  4. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    I have a natural habit that I avidly practice,
    instincts to do acts of derring do warily crafting,
    tactics vs malice transfixed by this challenge,
    my light is fashioned from Basking,
    in habitats that are far away from,
    mass media corporations outlandish distractions...
    Simply magnificent areas such as where,
    debonair Robins sing stirring arias,
    attempt daring aerials before merrily landing free,
    Meditating under a canopy seeking balance.

    I hardly can stomach I'm flummoxed at how,
    easily people get full on cotton candy languidly,
    while verily these peaceful places understand me,
    candidly making me crave something more satisfying…
    than mechanically flavored parodies, Ben and Jerry's,
    chase a landscape of Ice and Cream always blinded,
    taste buds misbehave numb frozen tongues stuck.

    Dissatisfaction left unchecked becomes the next holocaust,
    When I was young Intelligence hung an albatross around my neck.
    I didn't know it then, but I gravitated towards, a curriculum,
    for saving humans from doldrums they'd ingest with willingness,
    unimpressed by multi million dollar ad campaigns, I bring change,
    while sell out champs put champagne in their raps to get paid.

    What I'm saying is a face of society trains us to need entertainment,
    Our playful nature mutated painstakingly researched and waylaid,
    Manipulated for the base and mere sake to be taken advantage of,
    Slackened passions are prettily packaged becoming baggage.
    Brittle backbones breaking casually stacking up casualties.
    When was the last time actually utilized mental faculties,
    to invent or create, instead it's contained with chains,
    parameters that aren't even defined with anything tangible…

    [​IMG]

    Lo and behold eroding control we're becoming animals
    domesticated lambs managed in full and we're amiable,
    even though our souls hold prismatic properties,
    when the sun touches the color of your spirit should be displayed
    but it's all grey and I'm outraged so I raise questions like Socrates.

    From Eden we've been far flung,
    dwelling in an ego driven ecosystem,
    Artificial lighting biting lightning bugs…
    when the filaments used up,
    how many of us are truly luminous?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    [​IMG]
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Sorry Cig...i can't kick this migraine.....i'll just post what i have




    Irreversible Words


    They would always argue, clash of the titans
    I could only watch as the animosity heighten
    James wanted to party with kids from school
    But with no supervision, dad refused, “I’m no fool!”
    He screamed as James called him a cruel tyrant
    Dad retaliated, “You are useless!” the air now silent
    His ruthless words gave me chills James grew violent
    Remaining quiet, he left the house ready to riot
    I screamed for him, my tears flooding the loft
    James jumped in the car, smiled at me then sped off
    Dad just stood there, wishing he had tread softly
    Alcohol on his breath, as his words proved costly

    The clock in the living room alarmed at mid night
    Dad pacing in circles with James nowhere in sight
    James had not returned and I could feel a gloom
    The phone rang causing panic within the room
    Dad answered, his vexed face now grew pale
    The nurse said James’ lungs were about to fail
    So we rushed to the hospital praying for hope


    [​IMG]


    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    76,203
    Cigma - i really dont know whats going on, but im going to take a crack at it and see how close i am. if you can, PM me and let me know how far off i am, lol. i get that this is about how our society forces us to hide our creative playful sides and makes us like domestic animals. at least i think i do. but the ice cream part I'm still missing. regardless though, the vocabulary used was great, flow was smooth.

    Shadow- sucks you werent feeling up to finishing this because i liked where it was headed. you started off fast and really were able to draw me in to the story, then it just ended. i was curious where you were going to go with it. ah well, feel better.

    vote- cig
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  7. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    Cigma -

    I have a natural habit that I avidly practice,
    instincts to do acts of derring do warily crafting,
    tactics vs malice transfixed by this challenge,
    my light is fashioned from Basking,
    in habitats that are far away from,
    mass media corporations outlandish distractions...
    Simply magnificent areas such as where,
    debonair Robins sing stirring arias,
    attempt daring aerials before merrily landing free,
    Meditating under a canopy seeking balance.


    This will keep any reader on his/her toes for sure. . .I highlighted what I really liked. Though a twisty stanza and a good one, I felt it could have been untangled a bit to become less estronic...though again this is not a problem for me, but for others it may. because remember, you are not writing for yourself you are writing to entertain and to create bridges of understanding in clarity...this is an art in if itself. I can be very cryptic myself so don't take this personal. I'm being general.

    So I'm not sure if that is a positive or negative what I said or even if what I said should be applied to that opener, but I said it and thought of saying this while reading...



    I hardly can stomach I'm flummoxed at how,
    easily people get full on cotton candy languidly,
    while verily these peaceful places understand me,
    candidly making me crave something more satisfying…
    than mechanically flavored parodies, Ben and Jerry's,
    chase a landscape of Ice and Cream always blinded,
    taste buds misbehave numb frozen tongues stuck.


    Ah-mazing! and...

    From Eden we've been far flung,
    dwelling in an ego driven ecosystem,
    Artificial lighting biting lightning bugs…
    when the filaments used up,
    how many of us are truly luminous?



    I liked this whole verse. It was boarding on the abstract, but with care to your overall message you really dealt it out very clear. This was FULL of vivid ways to say what could have been said more plainly, but still you choose to make it an artfully expression...I enjoyed that. I wrote a verse like this last week and I saw right way this in your piece.

    If I may, I would say to untwist a few bars here and there, so that these untwisted bars can act as a mediator between your cryptic tendency. Writing plain is easier too, but sometimes less is more! So balance! It's not like I find the right balance all the time either, or that you haven't.

    Good verse.

    V-cigma
    test
  8. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    142
    Alright, let's go to work.

    Cigma - Your imagery of words is amazing and the multi-rhyme schemes are well placed. It's your word plays that shine the most with sentences like: "Brittle backbones breaking casually stacking up casualties." Word plays, to me, tend to be corny as all hell but you avoided that nicely.

    The downside is that, until I got to the last stanza, I couldn't tell you what the moral of the story was. It was all over the place, it seemed. I think you might have been better off in that regard just leaving out the first verse. It distracted me from the point you were trying to make. I don't know, it may just be that I don't grasp the imagery you chose to use.

    That last paragraph was so dope. It really tied everything together with a simple, yet elegant touch. It made up for all the confusion I had in the beginning and the picture made it all the easier imagine what its like when everyone's watching when you stand out.



    Shadow- Damn your migraine. I want to know what happens next! *sigh* You use a really simple yet eloquent style to carry a story and I hope to emulate that in the future.


    Vote - Cigma
    test
  9. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,356
    good battle.

    Cig - great vocab throughout the whole verse, some parts of this the internal rhyme was really fantastic, I like the overall beginning but felt it was a bit weak, although the use of the ice cream theme was kind of cool to give that sweet, candy empty imagery, it was really cooking at the end both with mechanics and with message though, which makes this borderline verse of the week for me.

    Shadow - I liked this verse, its more example of how you are progressing with balancing dope rhyme mechanics with solid storytelling, you had a good eye for detail and image in the start of this, not sure if anyone else noticed how your last line rhymed with the text in the picture which was really cool, short and impactful but needs more development.

    Vote -Cigma a verse that albeit esoteric and alienating was still rather poetic in spots with an interesting message, solid unique approach to a topical.
    test
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    76,203
    Cig wins 4-0
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