[Week 49] C. ShadowWarriorfs(28-16) vs 2. Vaudville(3-0) vs 3. S. Issue(5-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]

    VERSES

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    NASTY- LyRiKaLxLoRd
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Penis in hand


    good luck guys
    test
  3. S. Issue

    S. Issue Who?

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    908
    test
  4. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    60,689
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
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    Grandpa’s Hymn
    Act IV: The Final Song

    Melody begins its play with a sleek elegance
    Bass line pulses with a beat of relevance
    Piano keys sings harmoniously with the existing note
    Voices now chants softly with a persisting hope
    A birth is celebrated as the crowd chants silently
    As a beautiful intercourse of noise dances vibrantly
    The crowd closes their eyes to become a hostage to the music
    Freely embracing the sound while their feet tap to it
    As a girl slowly moves toward center stage
    Lips pressed against the mic, face slowly begins to age
    The sound begins to slow, becoming quiet and somber
    The girl’s face ghostlike as if a memory still haunts her
    Drums become deaf as violin strokes increase in motion
    As a chorus of chords fills the air and release its potion


    I’ve become tired, body beaten and bruised
    Eyes burn with fire from weeping, I’m confused
    Speaking too enthused as the doctor is reading the news
    The result was “Cancer”, as I begin grieving the blues
    My life has always been about receiving more chances
    From drug abuse to alcohol, I’ve used all my stances
    Hands begins to tremble as I realize this is my Final Song
    Objects have lost their colors taste has all but gone
    I am trying to remain strong but I am too weak
    Muscle are eaten away as my skins begins to reek
    Crying as I’m forced to watch my own death
    Looking for someone but my family has already left
    Their sorrows whisper of pain from watching my demise
    Giving themselves false hope while tears fall from their eyes
    Surprise jumps on my face as my grandchild still stares
    Tears occur in my heart, realizing that someone cares
    She was still a child, full of hopes and dreams
    Grabbing my hand as the room filled with my chokes and screams
    She seems to panic, as my voice now reassures her
    “The cure for Cancer is radiation,” I said to deter
    Her mind from overwhelming, my heartbeat began to slow
    Losing consciousness as I told her she needed to go
    “I need my rest,” I said so that no one would know
    That my death was here, blood has stopped its flow
    I’m sorry everyone but it is time I let go of life
    I’m done fighting and my cells are turning to ice
    I love you all…



    With a drop of a tear, her voice became muted
    Cheeks are now red as she feels as if she looks stupid
    The music continues to play, as the drums grow loud
    Vocals become cheerful as her heart becomes proud
    She smiles as the orchestra’s voices turns pleasant
    She bows as the crowd cheers at her presence
    She leaves the stage, staring out the window of her room
    Wondering if he could hear her voice while resting in his tomb


    [​IMG]
    test
  6. Vaudeville

    Vaudeville New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2010
    Messages:
    32
    I'm sorry. I would really like to show, but the last few days have been some of the most hectic of my entire life. I enjoyed my time, and I may return. If I'm allowed, I'll vote on this match.
    test
  7. S. Issue

    S. Issue Who?

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    908
    "Mr. Zero Speaks Out"

    Sitting here late, looking at John D. Long Lake
    with it’s glass surface, heart hurting as we elongate
    what has become the greatest hunt for a black fugitive
    in a race stricken world. My color so useful then,
    to determining criminal class and what I may do last,
    how to attach me to Susan’s kids, leaving lives dashed.

    An uproar, it began in October, Ninety-Four:
    Susan Smith, ruthless bitch, blamed me for this gore.
    I brazenly carjacked her, didn’t attack her but left
    with her sons, both young, in the back seat’s cleft:
    I just drove away, couldn’t stop, what about the cops?
    Anyone could tell this Mazda Protégé was hot.
    Somehow it took nine days of chase to catch up
    with what was left of us. Her deceit was just enough.
    Several people seem to have caught me on the scene
    in between this town and the next as tires screamed:
    witnesses state that a black man with the wheel in hand
    drove through with two little kids at his command.
    Back at the station the police consider their situation—
    wondering how a mother can remain so complacent
    in the face of certain terror, her only error exists
    with her wrist, she can’t lie enough to make it stick.
    After my ninth day on the road she lost control
    and confessed under duress that she banished their souls:
    the Mazda rolled into John D. Lake’s cold black water
    her two boys distracted, strapped in for the slaughter.
    I never knew a vehicle’s weight could resist gravity
    but sadly it floated out, a steel boat travelling
    quiet and smooth, but then a dive below blue veneer
    ended their tiny lives: deaths concluded in fear.

    I sit here staring, glaring past the water’s gleam—
    a metallic husk below the surface’s aquatic sheen,
    an abode for marine animals and a sort of gravestone
    marking the kid’s home for more than a week, brave souls.
    When she confessed it, it was obvious— I wasn’t arrested:
    blessed with being invisible, a figment interjected.
    As fog rises, I am blessed with this valley’s shaded rut
    and fade into the scenery, a nigger criminal made up.

    [​IMG]
    ____________________________________________________________
    topic: final song, life
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  8. word.smyth

    word.smyth New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2009
    Messages:
    42
    I hate you guys! How on earth are we supposed to decide amongst such excellent verses. How can I say "this is better" when both are nearly flawless in their execution? Both of you told some excellent (if not somewhat chilling) stories, with great flow, great multies, great imagery and emotion... both 10/10... The only thing, I believe, that gave our champ the edge in this competition was his closer adherence to the topic. It seemed to me that, although the story was excellent and the execution of it perfect, it really didn't "fit" with the chosen topics. Seemed more as if Issue wrote his and then tried to find some topic(s) that would be relevant to what was written. Whereas, it seemed to me that shadow's verses were written AROUND the topic (as well as the picture at the end). Other then this one "point of contention", I would have said this was a tie.

    Excellent writing skills on both parts.

    Shadow Gets My Vote for being more "on topic".
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  9. Menso

    Menso Go Lakers!

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Messages:
    15,062
    lol word to Word. Both were really good, but I think S. Issue came slightly better... the ways the multis fit seamlessly. Damn, both were nice, though; toss up, really. On those grounds, I'll tie it up and let someone else decide; or maybe vote for Vaude lol.

    vote: S Issue
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  10. Rem Lynxis

    Rem Lynxis A Slight Modicum of Hope

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    101
    Shadow - Fuck; i liked ur concept a lot. A clever intro before the story (which i might add; to be descriptive in itself), it really did a good job setting the mood. However; I do feel to achieve these strengths, you sacrificed flow from time to time and metaphors were pretty scarce, and some rhymes were well put together; but a little simplistic for my tastes.

    S. Issue - I feel like the characters were not introduced clearly enough and you left too much on the reader to figure out what exactly is happening. The scenes would switch from time to time and it seems like you sped through the story in a "let's get to the good party already!" kinda attempt. As for the positives; I liked the flow in your piece much better and i think you really minded the syllable count as well as word choices.


    Overall, there's a lot i can quote for the both of you; but the verses themselves were great reads in their respective strengths as I stated before. I'm looking forward to reading your pieces later.

    V/ Shadow.
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  11. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2006
    Messages:
    383
    Late vote

    S Issue i could use a bit of help here.. im guessing when you carjacked her you kept her in the car right? I have a loose understanding of the story and I liked it. I'm just confused as to how she got the car back when I thought you had it? And why did you car jack it, is it because you knew she was going to roll them into a lake? Nice verse. And as far as your last line.. "people know not what they do."

    Shadow very nice, i see you are comfortable at your next level of writing, and it has been consistent. I guess if I had to give some constructive feedback I would say use your adjectives and adverbs with imagery, and really open the scene up a bit more. I want to feel the whole room, the whole vibe, the whole city. Nice stuff tho

    Vote Shadow
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  12. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Shadow wins...2-1
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