[Week 49] 11. PerfectoUnoJr(0-0) vs 12. KonviKt(0-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSES
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    test
  2. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
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    Poppy Fields and Dragons

    You see the glow on the outside
    Imagine the blaze on the inside
    When I call out your name
    The look on your face lights up
    and there's no place to hide
    Don't hide yourself as a poppy
    or wrap your soul in your body
    You're the prize that I seek
    Your dragon will meet his end
    for there's no stopping me

    It's a dangerous love that burns through your field
    Destroying the flowers that refuse to yield
    To the power of the weapon that I wield
    because you're worth dying for

    I promise I am the only
    one fighting for you this boldly
    No need to lament
    'Cause I won't relent though
    ground gained is coming slowly
    They say your worth is attached to
    how much someone will pay for you
    All the sacrifice
    Was well worth the price
    I have done all I can do

    I hope I told you enough
    I pray you take notice
    I wish you'd see how much
    I love you
    test
  3. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    4,096
    Perfectakdfdkl-

    I hope I told you enough
    I pray you take notice
    I wish you'd see how much
    I love you


    Bro, what a closer this was. It left residual thoughts...which is and should be the goal of any closer. Great job.

    I like the confidence in narration and it was short but packed a brooding punch of caution, lust.

    The opener was great. This was a great piece I thought.

    Look forward to see more of ya.
    test
  4. PerfectoUnoJr

    PerfectoUnoJr RM Jobber

    Joined:
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    142
    Thank you for the kind words. The topic was challenging as the imagery of poppies and dragons usually implies death. I wanted to change that, though.

    I wish it could have been compared to something but I'll take the easy 'W' where I can.
    test
  5. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    You see the glow on the outside
    Imagine the blaze on the inside


    13 words to define infinity.

    The mood created from the first paragraph was lovely.

    It's a dangerous love that burns through your field
    Destroying the flowers that refuse to yield
    To the power of the weapon that I wield
    because you're worth dying for


    Some confusion here....

    Burn through your field... destroying the flowers that refuse to yield... to the power of the weapon that I wield.

    So burning flowers refuse to yield to your power? That to me is something that's gone already so how could it yield to your power and if it did what's the reason.

    How about if the flowers were empowered by you.. they could sustain any danger.. like self destructive love?


    Anyway I enjoyed the read it made pause for a moment to remember, that's always good.
    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    76,201
    perfecto wins by no show
    test
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