[Week 44] 7. SonnyDaze(14-2) vs 8. Gramur(4-4) (sonny wins)

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Tacky Jones, Aug 12, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]
    Rules:


    VERSES DUE THURSDAY @ 11:59 PST
    Line Limit: Minimum 8 lines, Maximum 40 (If opponent agrees, you may go over the line limit)
    NO BITING OR RECYCLING
    Biting/Recycling is the equivalent of a no show
    Extensions must be requested in your battle thread before the Thursday evening deadline. It is the opponents choice whether to allow the extension or not. Failure to accept/deny the request prior to the first vote being cast will result in the extension being allowed.
    If granted, the extension overrides the deadline for BOTH battlers
    A No Show results in a loss and automatic sign out
    If your opponent fails to show, you must still post at least 4 lines and 3 voting links for your victory.
    A title wont change hands by no show
    COMPETITORS MAY ONLY POST THREE TIMES IN THEIR MATCH. A CHECK IN, THEIR VERSE, AND THEIR LINKS. EXCESSIVE POSTING WILL RESULT IN A LOSS OF VOTES.
    COMPETITORS MAY ONLY POST ONCE IN AN OPPONENTS BATTLE. A VOTE. ANYTHING UNNECCESARY WILL RESULT IN A LOSS OF VOTES. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, EITHER TAKE IT TO THE LOUNGE OR PM THE PERSON.
    First battler to post is allowed to edit their verse up until the second battler posts theirs. Once the second battler posts, they are allowed to edit their verse until the first vote is casted.
    The Second battler to post cannot post more lines than the first. Doing so will result in DQ.
    Disruptive members will be banned from the league will and have their posts moved to the garbage bin thread.
    UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN A NON-MOD MAKE A THREAD IN THE LEAGUE. YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THE SITE FOR A WEEK. THIS IS YOUR WARNING!!!!!

    VOTING RULES:
    VOTES ARE DUE SUNDAY NIGHT @ 8:59 PST
    You must vote on at least 5 matches(provided there are 5 matches to vote on, if no vote on whichever battles are open) and post the links in your thread. For every link not posted you will lose a vote.
    Votes MUST be at least two lines per verse, and must have a vote casted. There is no voting for ties.
    Voting is open past the deadline in the case that I’m late starting the new week.
    Voting is open to current participants, RBL mods, and former champs. Former champs must vote on at least three matches to have their vote counted, and must adhere to the same voting rules.


    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and a forum mod.

    Any suggestions or questions feel free to ask me
    test
  2. SonnyDaze

    SonnyDaze 7 train heavyweight

    Joined:
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    Pic battle to switch things up? If not, 12-16 is fine with me.
    test
  3. Gramur

    Gramur Yung Troy

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
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    855
    Ok I'll post a pic in the morning
    test
  4. Gramur

    Gramur Yung Troy

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
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    You know what, let's just go 12

    nah no pics

    I'm working on my 12 now
    test
  5. SonnyDaze

    SonnyDaze 7 train heavyweight

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    test
  6. Gramur

    Gramur Yung Troy

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
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    855
    He's not all the hype. Nothing he rhymes is overwhelmingly exciting
    Son's a Kahn artist to the legends. He resides in a lower realm of writing
    Held the title, but the Hall of Fame is NEVER branding Son
    everyone on that list would run laps around him. He wasn't fit to be Champion
    We could ponder the Olden days. Some dudes had timeless rhymes
    while his 15 minutes of fame was cut short along with that style from Razputin of '99!
    Pathetic! I been said it. Last week was sweet. We saw him plummet
    He's diabetic. Cuz Mars Bars were way too much for him to stomach
    I'm stompin' him out the league. SD's average in every fight
    He's a ParSon. But he'd never control this Parish of the site
    this guy wants to be me so bad. But his presentation is foul
    so I don't mean linear tracings when I say he wanna BaroGram style
    test
  7. SonnyDaze

    SonnyDaze 7 train heavyweight

    Joined:
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    The league wasn’t feeling my material, so what if I pissed em off
    To be honest I don’t fuck this text-style, I’m cut from a different cloth
    I took the crown in 4 matches, who knew it would happen
    This dude is a has-been, or more like a real life Shooter McGavin
    If I was here for 4 years and title-less, my style woulda got turned on its head
    I’m gonna put a new spin on audio- Charlotte here’s only known for words on the web
    You're how many years old and have never recorded in a booth before?
    A one trick pony that’s an Oreo, you’re practically a Unicorn.
    I own you like a colony. No question’s asked, so removing the (wh)y’s standard.
    You have all just witnessed sodomy. Now a colon is cancerous to gramur.
    Left behind for those lame raps of his, It’s time he learn what rapture is
    And watch me shit on Q(cue) next, like I’m loaded up with laxatives.
    test
  8. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    76,203
    Gram:

    Pathetic! I been said it. Last week was sweet. We saw him plummet
    He's diabetic. Cuz Mars Bars were way too much for him to stomach

    vs


    Son:

    If I was here for 4 years and title-less, my style woulda got turned on its head
    I’m gonna put a new spin on audio- Charlotte here’s only known for words on the web

    I own you like a colony. No question’s asked, so removing the (wh)y’s standard.
    You have all just witnessed sodomy. Now a colon is cancerous to gramur.


    vote- Son
    test
  9. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2009
    Messages:
    3,474
    SonnyDaze:

    Syllables fairly well matched up...not the most complex schemes I've ever read, but not bad...

    This^ was possibly the best line I've read in this text battle league in the very short time I've been lurking around in it. It wasn't overly indulgent or so esoteric that it would be impossible for me to decipher its meaning without possessing the ability to read your mind. Well done, methinks.

    Unless you can explain the above line to me, I'm going to have to call you on it and say that it makes no sense whatsoever.

    Mmmmkay....

    The entire "sodomy" scheme just doesn't make sense to me...maybe I'm just too dull witted at this particular moment in my life to comprehend it, but it seems to me that its lofty ambition betrays it.

    Let me get this straight...you "own him like a colony", but "removing the y(why) is standard"...okay...I see what you did there...we then remove the "y" from the word "colony"...now we have the word "colon"...so now; "we've all just witnessed sodomy" because "a colon is now cancerous to gramur"...okay...I assume you're attempting to make some play on words involving the homophone "colon" which can be both the rectal cavity as well as a grammatical punctuation mark, but I am failing to see how you've tied any of this together to make a cohesive double entendre.

    Why is sodomy involved in this? Did you just throw that word in because it rhymed with colony?

    The context of the scheme implies a role reversal. Is there ever a time when gramur is cancerous to colon?

    I don't know, man...I need an explanation on this scheme or I'm going to be forced to simply think that you pulled that entire scheme out of your ass, and then somehow channeled your ass through your fingers and onto this message board, no offense.

    Overall, I think you definitely are an above average writer, especially for a text battle league, and I can see that you are making a genuine effort to write with complexity and quality. This was not the best verse I've seen from you, but I am certain that with practice and time, you will make vast improvements.

    Gramur:

    Hmmm....I'm assuming this is a reference to Moratal Kombat and Shao Khan. If so...meh...I'm not really feeling the whole video game reference motif...it's kinda played out, especially when it pertains to Mortal Kombat, but it was not a bad line.

    This line was also okay. No complaints, although one can always stand to strive for more complex schemes, and better syllable coupling.

    The "Mars Bars" line was good. Simple. Double entendre works without being too entangled in itself. The only complaint I might have is that Mars might not necessarily be a nickname for Marshall, but I'm starting to see that most of you guys do call him "Mars", so maybe "Mars" is indeed a valid moniker for the guy.

    Good. Parson. Parish. Not bad. A little forced, but not too bad...I've been known to slightly force some word play myself...

    Hmm....I always like it when people include concepts in their verse that I am not familiar with...I enjoy having to google something in order to understand what the writer is attempting to convey. I know what a barometer is of course, but I did not know what a barograph was until I googled it. It measures atmospheric pressure by making "linear tracings". It also works as a double entendre when used with your screen name.

    You could have made the set up scheme to the double entendre slightly more complex imo, but overall, good job.

    My vote in this battle goes to Gramur. Although Sonny had one line I really enjoyed, the whole "sodomy" scheme essentially ruined the verse for me because it just came off as extremely forced and contrived, and yet it still didn't really make sense, (at least as far as I can tell)...if Sonny could offer some enlightening explanation as to the semantics of the scheme, I might be obliged to change my decision, but as it stands, I see Gramur as having the better all around verse. I didn't have to read any of his schemes ten times over in an effort to understand them and still come up with bupkiss. That was a plus.

    My vote: Gramur
    test
  10. Donis

    Donis New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2003
    Messages:
    682
    This was ok. Both had a lot of simple/unoriginal concepts that I wasn't particularly feeling (shitting/laxatives, etc). Also a lot of forced stuff. Both verses could have used some tightening up to make them flow better (the lines were too long and awkward for me in a lot of cases). That said, there were some decent ideas too. Charlotte's web was clever..

    This was very close. But, I got Sonny taking it by a hair. Sonny wins.
    test
  11. Reptilian

    Reptilian I need live meals.

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Messages:
    317
    Gram: Par bar was pretty dope, other than that I wasn't really feeling the style/content at all.

    Sonny:
    I own you like a colony. No question’s asked, so removing the (wh)y’s standard.
    You have all just witnessed sodomy. Now a colon is cancerous to gramur.
    Left behind for those lame raps of his, It’s time he learn what rapture is
    And watch me shit on Q(cue) next, like I’m loaded up with laxatives.

    This alone coulda took the match. Good wordplay with the colony/sodomy/removing Y

    My vote : SonnyDaze. Landslide.
    test
  12. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    25,850
    gramur, good shit from you. i say from you because i wouldn't rank this high in the books of text verses, but high in your own book. i think what makes this better than what i've read from you in the past is the attitude i feel from it. you sound confident, and though i only truly felt two punches, you kept that attitude throughout. you wrote as if you knew you were the better writer and you at least came at sonny. mars bars and fit to be champion were the best couplets to me. the rest was eh. flow wasn't too bad.

    sonny, i don't know man. not sure how you champed the league, even in its current state. style was better than last week and flow was better than gram's, but you're just not saying much. and the little bit that you're saying, you're overthinking and overdoing it. prime example is that colon cancerous line. i'm not trying to push you to fit into a mold of what i think is nice, but i just don't feel as though you're executing your ideas effectively. i'm all about execution. it makes even the worst punchlines appear decent at times. punches should be direct, simple, to the point. all in all, i didn't see anything worth talking about. i think you have potential though, a lot of it. you just need to figure out how to take your ideas and turn them into chuckles for the voters.

    vote - gramur

    btw, q line was lame.
    test
  13. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    29,663
    Gramur - I liked your 3rd and 4th line. Good personal about him losing the champ match. That Mars Bars line was good. Best line in your verse. Your flow was decent, and you had some okay lines mixed with 1 really good line mixed with some filler. The Opener was 'eh' though. Closer was cool, too. Nothing spectacular.

    SonnyDaze - Your first 4 lines didn't seem much like battle lines, but more like a flossing track for yourself show boating. Unicorn line was cool. You had a better flow in this verse than last week, however you did not come with the same material you have been coming with. that Charlotte's Web punch is as bad as using a cum/come back line. I don't know why you found it necessary to bring Q into this match Lol. But okay, I thought it was a humerous closer.

    This was a harder one to vote on because both came to the table with decent verses containing filler, nice lines, and a good line.

    Vote - Gramur
    I felt that Gramur edged it out with more concentration on his opponent, not himself or future opponents.
    Line of the Match:
    "Pathetic! I been said it. Last week was sweet. We saw him plummet
    He's diabetic. Cuz Mars Bars were way too much for him to stomach " - Gramur
    test
  14. BarZ.

    BarZ. Over Everything

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    253
    gram
    We could ponder the Olden days. Some dudes had timeless rhymes
    while his 15 minutes of fame was cut short along with that style from Razputin of '99!
    Pathetic! I been said it. Last week was sweet. We saw him plummet
    He's diabetic. Cuz Mars Bars were way too much for him to stomach


    sd
    The league wasn’t feeling my material, so what if I pissed em off
    To be honest I don’t fuck this text-style, I’m cut from a different cloth
    not a punch.. but i like it
    I took the crown in 4 matches, who knew it would happen
    This dude is a has-been, or more like a real life Shooter McGavin
    they prolly don't know who shooter mcgavin.. is happy gilmore yall... just wanted to point that out tho
    If I was here for 4 years and title-less, my style woulda got turned on its head
    I’m gonna put a new spin on audio- Charlotte here’s only known for words on the web
    kinda funny

    I own you like a colony. No question’s asked, so removing the (wh)y’s standard.
    You have all just witnessed sodomy. Now a colon is cancerous to gramur.
    that was fuck'n dope - best bar of the battle



    V-S.D.

    Overall a more polished and better verse... more creativity and concepts were alot better
    Razputin line was ya 2nd best and i seen similar lines like that over the past 2 yrs. ago alot
    and the Mar Bars line was pretty dope but predictable and didn't hit as hard as it could have..

    decent battle but Sonny got this 1
    test
  15. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    sonny wins.
    test
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