[Week 43] [Contendership] 3. Got Life?(3-0) vs 4. ShadowWarriorfs(21-16)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Jan 25, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]

    VERSES

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    NASTY- LyRiKaLxLoRd
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    recycled this verse which at the time it was originally posted beat out Jook 5-4 and he dropped a gem.

    league is a joke, i'm out for good.
    test
  3. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    test
  4. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Destiny

    Chapter II – His Return

    [​IMG]

    It’s been a couple of years since he left
    Eyes wept, body has not slept
    Yet, I regret not expressing my feelings
    Fearing rejection, pain still revealing
    Holes that grew within my heart
    As if sharp daggers pierced its mark
    So I start every morning repetitious
    This wait has made me superstitious
    Suspicious about is motives for leaving
    Still grieving but I continue breathing
    Perceiving each nuance as a sign
    Of his arrival, perhaps only in my mind
    Time seems sedated, colors shine sporadically
    Blues, greens and reds change more rapidly
    “Was he secretly mad at me?” I ponder
    Hopes fall, breaking my heart asunder
    As thunder rumbles across the torpid sky
    Shaking me before releasing a horrid cry
    “Hi.” Said a voice spoken softly in my ear
    Shock struck my face, eyes drop a final tear
    He was here, standing nonchalant
    Face smirked just enough to taunt
    Wanting an explanation but settled for an embrace
    I desired his succulent lips to taste
    Decided not to waste another second
    Heaven must have sent a secret weapon
    Eyes met as I pronounce my confession


    Two years waiting for you to hold me
    Thinking, “Why hadn’t God chose me
    To be your wife, forever holy”
    Young but I still loved you solely
    Intimidation muted my cries
    Eyes redden and swollen in size
    Hearing my pain willing to sympathize
    That moment our hearts synchronize
    Needing you to complete me
    Ornate heat warms me discreetly
    Maybe I just wanted to hug you
    But actually, I just love you


    I leaned in, hands caressing your cheek
    Contact made as silence begins to speak
    It felt perfect, I did not want to stop
    As I look at him, face was in shock…
    test
  5. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,962
    Sitting consumed by some Saturday morning cartoon,
    Eventually getting up as it reached mid-afternoon,
    She would then help clean the house, my little angel,
    Cara knows Daddy doesn't have a spouse,

    this section... the off pattern flow fucks up ur scheme and take the focus off what ur narrating. ur rhymes are still pretty simple...(i e.. bout, out route... enough, tough, rough... mere Mothergoosery) it forces me to pay attention to ur strange narration in which u sound like a child trying to use big words...

    the direction with the cancer subject opening up in the mid verse made a point of sympathy for interest, but u didn't give much details of her actual transformation from healthy to sick or anything much of her life. u spent more the narration describing her death than her life with a cancer patient... that's just bad writing man... honestly.. . how am i supposed to feel anything for a character u give cancer to without building the character at all and then describing her death more than anything else? anyway... fyi... ur getting the tactless truth about ur writing... i'm nicer with the other writers because i'm not DiC anymore, but ur still a racist bitch.. so the honest truth for u

    This was written horribly... honestly


    Shadow... ur rhymes are also very simple. ur short format makes for some of the mid line rhymes to come out better, but still pretty basic... there was one rhyme that i really liked though..
    nonchalant and enough to taunt... lol.. that actually got my attention, which is good cuz i take points off for not having solid flow...

    ur narration is pretty colorful and creative though which picks this piece up a bit.... there was some moments of nice character development and some moments that need more details for clarity... u should of gave this a lil more time... i didn't realize it before, but ur also always writing in the narration of a women. are you a woman? not that it matters, but was wondering cuz i'd probably look for that in the begining of the narration if i'd known that. shortness hinders the progression of shit that would of made this store much more interesting, but it still had some moments... '

    Vote Shadow
    test
  6. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    hate vote from angry bitchmade scrub is hate vote.

    to elaborate on this point shadow hit me on aim, cause I don't feel like blasting it up in here.
    test
  7. S. Issue

    S. Issue Who?

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    908
    GL?: Not completely the worst thing I've seen from you, but it did feel a little flat. The flow seemed okay to me most of the way. Some of the transitions felt awkward and I thought maybe you could have done them a little bite more tactfully. However, I agree with Dic that the story developed in an odd way. The first verse and half the second could easily have been developing the character, then a 4 bar turn for the realization of cancer, then a death scene. It would have made a lot more sense and maybe not been too much of a problem. Something else I liked, and I only saw hints of, was your use of medical/clinical terminology in parts of this where it wasn't directly connected to the narration. Thats a great thing to try to use, jargon can be important for tone/story. Not shabby.

    Shadow: This piece gave me the same thing when it comes to flow. I felt like I was there and with it, but then it would just wrench me for a second and then I'd have to fight to try to get back. Its all in those transitions, I think. You've got some great ones, but then some are paced oddly. Overall, though, I felt you were using some great language/wording in this piece. I enjoyed your word choice and rhymes. It made it nice to read. I also was feeling the story. I didn't once feel like the pacing of the narration was off or fucked up, and I was moving right along, accepting that these things were happening without any trouble taking them in stride within the story. I think the scene you're depicting is a little bland, though you have some good descriptions.

    VOTE: Shadow
    test
  8. WarMachine

    WarMachine The Legend.

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2008
    Messages:
    71
    Vote/Shadow because like the other guys said his had far more depth to it and a better level of complexity. Shadow you brought a nice storyline to the table here and executed it well i thought, you built it well throughout and give it meaning at the end, your emotion worked well in places and your imagery gave the most of your lines quite a nice feel and although you had really short lines I thought you rhymed quite well without making the flow choppy. Life, this was different, you've got to 3-0 by dropping some good pieces but this lacked direction and strength buddy, you had no real twists or anything for me and it was a real shame being it in the contendorship battle. Overall go back to what you have been doing because its worked well so far, overall not a bad battle but shadow wins quite easily for me this week.
    test
  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    you voted after there was no verse to even read, nigga you're a joke lol.
    test
  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Shadow wins 3 to -1
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)