[Week 39] [Championship] 1. Nique...(4-0) vs 2. Pent uP(7-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]

    VERSES

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
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    AIM NAMES
    NASTY- LyRiKaLxLoRd
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    8,857
    I will be posting the final day and I might need an extension. I just started a new job and family is up here. I was planning to sign out last week, Redeemed no showed. I'll let you know
    Posted via Mobile Device
    test
  3. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    My sentiments exactly
    test
  4. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    The ascension rate of my attention made
    me investigate sexy mesh, flesh and taint.
    Sittin wet, internet spreads displayed
    before headin to bed for days of my seventh grade.
    When the daze of legs and face set astray
    I settled. Laying in a zen-like state
    and queued in chatrooms before I'd press esc -
    Which is where I found sex text for trade.

    I've never sprayed from readin porno scripts.
    Just fathomed random madams' gorgeousness;
    imagined with lathered tattered corsets ripped.
    A pleasure fiends means to forward bliss
    while awaiting the day when he became fortunate.
    I can't believe AOL is how this story stems...
    A glorious ornament of words to read
    turned paragraphs to years of eternity...

    Currently, we're more than a decade invested.
    We've changed our directions, made and dissected
    a range of eclectic constraints and connections
    complaints and contentions, traded our ethics
    and came to the menace of facing rejection
    in ways unrepentant of the shameless and selfish.
    We've taken a breath, which escalated the tension.
    We'd think to rekindle and she'd faint in my presence.

    Strange is the essence - Lost in our futile needs.
    We've met only once from a dozen opportunities -
    copped me a prudent feel, but its not that important.
    Nervous thoughts of performance and caution were thwarted.
    Problems were forming when the plausible warrants -
    barriers that buried her locked in some fortress...
    brought metaphoric to a tangible grasp
    that shackled her fast before I planned an attack.

    Panic would flash, and I'd cave with contempt.
    At first that'd hurt but then I'd exhale all my breath;
    realizing she'd find him saving herself.
    Safely breaking, I stepped, careless of quests,
    hair's on an edge crossing the barrier nexus.
    I expected a slightly better and merrier temptress.
    When clarity exits and I'm not sharing her presence
    my mind's hindsight seems barely impressive.

    Bare from inception - more than decades invested.
    We've changed our directions, made and dissected
    a range of eclectic constraints and connections
    complaints and contentions, traded our centrics
    and came to the menace of facing rejection
    in ways unrepentant of the shameless and selfish.
    We've taken a breath, which escalated the tension.
    We'd think to rekindle but they hated my essence.

    I pray on a death wish - Strength is eluding me.
    We met once again from another opportunity -
    Caught me infused with glee, but its not that important
    if she dropped on the floor and sobbed till the morning.
    She's lost in the war and the distance between.
    She favors staying faithful but insists that we cheat..
    Blessin' the words heaven on earth is a visit from me,
    but her better half thinks I'm an affliction to peace.

    I'm thinkin they need to reconsider their dreams
    but instead I stray away and let our differences be.
    A minuscule thing - I'm hoping he loves her
    because a war with me and they wont cope with each other.
    From my opening blunder of thinking of having something
    to the magic fun and then to my battle struggling
    in an emotive war for scattered lovin..
    Until their issues cause her enrapture done with...

    a collapsing judgment over decades invested.
    Where change is the message; favors were weapons;
    A range of eclectic constraints and connections
    complaints and contentions had traded our centrics
    and brang us the menace of facing rejection.
    Shameless and selfish we've waited forever
    before taking a breath, which escalated the tension.
    We'd think to rekindle but failed in the nexus.​
    test
  5. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    8,857
    I'm going to need an extension until tomorrow night. I apologize Pent, I do have 22 lines, but I will not be able to make it tonight. My responsibilities are exceeding this opportunity right now. I have not read your verse, so you can remove it if you feel skeptical. If you grant me the extension, thanks, but if not, I completely understand.
    test
  6. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2001
    Messages:
    14,147
    test
  7. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    8,857
    Bullshit. This fucking Private Message deleted my shit. I am so frustrated right now that it deleted 20 of my fucking lines. I'm so freaking upset. I honestly refuse to write this over again, so I will post what I still have. I apologize, but I simply do not care at this point.

    Your aggression unfolds,
    Confessions are told, you perish, affecting your growth
    Unpleasant, you chose to re-connect with your folks..
    But letting it go is wretched, infecting your soul.
    Where treacherous bodes well to the negligent foe,
    And imperfection excels on a desolate road.
    You set precedent, hope with an impression to cope..
    Where stress is the rope, tests surround your neck and your throat.
    Misdirected you choke; Unresolved lessons revoked,
    Electing to loathe benevolence, a reckless approach.

    Segmented coke feeds my willing to die,
    Instilled in my eyes fearlessness drives my feelings inside.
    Shielding my pride, shriveling vibes, I'm kneeling to cry..
    The ceiling is high in a building where sentiments thrive,
    I'm descending, deprived and it's disguised in the matter..
    Despising the laughter, but I admire disaster.
    The fire, the rapture is plastered in signs you will capture,
    Designed to keep you binded - the mind of a bastard.
    It's a crime that my stature loves the abuse,
    Accustomed to blues with clues that doesn't refute..
    Nor does it excuse the miscues in my youth,
    But I refuse to renew a life I once knew.​
    test
  8. Dicnyaeye

    Dicnyaeye N CuM oN Ya BrAiN

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2006
    Messages:
    251
    Pent... cool shit... great narration and expressive.. Could use more details of the situation... but u pushed the metaphoric approach with some creativity. Had some very smooth lines throughout as well.... good stuff man..

    Nique.... great narration and the progression was there.. Obviously this isn't complete though... was getting into it a lil bit and then it stopped... nice start to this verse though..

    Vote Pent
    Posted via Mobile Device
    test
  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Pent uP - Stellar verse here...very enjoyable verse. The vocab was very good, the rhymes were great and the flow was very nice. The story developed nicely and had imagery and descriptions. very nice.


    fav line -
    "I've never sprayed from readin porno scripts.
    Just fathomed random madams' gorgeousness;
    imagined with lathered tattered corsets ripped.
    A pleasure fiends means to forward bliss
    while awaiting the day when he became fortunate."

    Nique - I really wish your browser didn't delete this. Stop using google chrome...use Opera or firefox or something. This was a great opener tho. The rhymes were great the flow was good and the story started to develop nicely before it ended. It would've been great to see the full verse.

    fave line -
    "Despising the laughter, but I admire disaster.
    The fire, the rapture is plastered in signs you will capture,
    Designed to keep you binded - the mind of a bastard.
    It's a crime that my stature loves the abuse,"

    Overall this would've been a great match-up....i wish things would've worked out better for nique...would've been a sweet battle

    Vote Pent uP
    test
  10. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2006
    Messages:
    383
    Nique I liked this a lot. I felt the emotion, liked the style, but I would have liked more story development. Also sometimes I feel like the inner rhyming can be a bit of distraction. It sometimes makes it harder to read.

    Pent I felt this was a great showing. You seem very patient in your story development, and definitely pain the details, forex: "a range of eclectic constraints and connections," but I would say that electic constaints and connections is more filler than anything, i would of enjoyed this verse much more if it had less of that, but I like the details don't get me wrong. Either way I was surprised at the consistency here the whole way through. Nice verse.

    Vote Pent
    test
  11. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    pent- 3 votes
    nique- 0 votes

    nique is docked 2 votes for not voting


    pent wins 3 to -2
    test
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