[Week 39] 5. the omega man(1-0) vs 6. Coup d'etat(1-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, May 23, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203

    [​IMG]

    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    I've been waiting for this opertunity...ck
    test
  3. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    ^^^ lol....no fuck this....too soon
    test
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    Important Note

    Dear Recipient of this Letter,

    Last night, three surgeons quietly entered your residence
    Two had needles and certainly medicated your remembrance
    One furnished a scalpel, his eyes were bleeding black ink
    Together they will defile you, sight unseen this week
    This note will inform you of your current predicament
    Don't stay inside for its duration, read on to learn of it

    A national emergency is in effect, total Marshall Law
    A medical order to eradicate dissent, cut from a doctors saw
    You have been identified as a threat, an aggressor
    An instigator-activist sent by truth, silenced by scissors

    Wake up.

    Because your daughter will not; raped and deflowered
    Double penetrated and the first to be murdered, devoured
    Because your son was forced to assist, whispered in incest
    Then hung from the course of his neck in his sisters dress
    Your wife has been shot, but not before she fought back
    With a sharp pen she resisted with a stab that bled black
    They are all stuffed in the garbage can, in bits at best
    Forget about them and remember this is real, its not a test

    Under your bed is a gun, a mirror and a single pill
    Swallow the capsule then feel around for the windowsill
    Take the mirror, steady a signal off the Westward sun
    The opposition is ready, awaiting a sign since this all begun
    Jump from your captivity now, or a doctored disease will be coming
    Meet the resistance somehow with cunning or cease to be nothing

    When you arrive give the gun to Edward. The man
    He will decide your worth or shoot you, understand
    Say to him, "Synagogue Alpha" to pass the sentries
    Then it's on or else a failure of freedom eventually
    By then you should be feeling the dope meant to numb
    And will have no problems accepting that hope is all but done

    Edward will tell you the city streets are a problematic prism
    The army is to kill off the silent majority against the system
    You must be completely plugged in and chipped to live
    One bank, one religion with government clipped to give
    Sooner than later, you'll be born a slave without will
    It's like that now, but it's in a shade most find a thrill

    The difference is that today:

    Distractions like Dancing with the Stars is over, done
    And Pepsi is out of stock, or no more Hollywood scum
    No more predictive programming by social engineers
    Or the fabricated life away from reality inching near
    The masses are taking notice, no more whimsical fluff
    But for now, it's you, Edward and a small tactical bluff
    To head up an Army of soldiers chipping the herd
    To kill as many as possible to sustain the spoken word:

    Your family is dead. They want you. You must act.

    Sincerely,

    Anonymous
    test
  5. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    *Pay attention to the tense*





    Distant Lovers

    My sensitive skin is the origin of my pitcher plant stature.
    My breakneck reflex in which I leap to areas defined by high pitched laughter.

    Ah...that laughter...a cobra lily essence that my insect instinct is so drearily attracted.
    The chronic decay as lactic acid I feel when I leer at one’s bosom appears entrapment
    by an establishment of fascists attempting to regulate my human attractions and passion.
    Their arguments are sound but the nocturne of bats has always defined my actions.

    And, since Mason infiltrated my parish and his loose t-shirt presented a frame that was squarish,
    I’ve been lured as a bass backwards...stopping...and grasping at his emanation so garish.

    I yearn to know his anima, to gallop in his corral as a majestic steed.
    But, yet I keep distance, a skeptic’s heed, hesitant to bring him next to me.
    But, my eclectic needs are united under his soft complexion’s sheen,
    so, every Sunday I build castles in the air, as he trots so heaven-ly.

    I envisage him my prince prancing alone through the hills of Troutbeck.
    And, this is the outset of the reality that had not come around yet.
    As the choir performs their sound-check our eyes catch.
    And, I see myself as his protector, his Tyvek®, despite his ignorant mindset.

    [​IMG]

    We held hands in the park, a jaunt through pedestrians and leashed dogs.
    The smell of the morning air was so refreshing—a clean fog.
    We conversed and Mason told me he was equestrian like leapfrog.
    He told me of his joys and revealed triumphs and confessions like seesaw.

    I assured him I was proud of the victories in his life,
    and that the sins would be forgiven so long as he’d visit me twice
    to confide in my sympathetic arms, and I’d vividly entice
    his enduringly jagged path to know the divinity of Christ.

    One scheduled meeting that infects my moistened eyes
    is the day we sought an airway so that we could rejoice in the skies.
    Our new love that burned inside needed air to voice fireflies.
    The plane was small but Mason needed help, so I hoisted him high.

    [​IMG]

    He sat in the front and I sat behind gazing at his waving mane in the wind.
    The clouds were our audience; no need to feel ashamed of this whim.
    I loved him and I know he loved me too...we traded in the wind.
    But when the image disappears I feel betrayed by a friend.

    Here I stand at the podium ready to deliver inspirational words
    And yet my mind is cloaked by this child’s unbreakable gird
    An unbreakable curse, unmistakable burn, as I ache and I yearn
    for arrays of memories from first date until when we both lay caked in an urn

    I know my iron core will ultimately be welded to his,
    so before the sermon begins I always delve through this lens,
    and feel compelled to pretend by humming wishing-well kind of hymns
    and subconsciously praying to God to forgive me for these hell binding sins.

    [​IMG]


    Have Mercy
    test
  6. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    test
  7. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    test
  8. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203
    Coup- this is probably my favorite verse i've read of yours. which is saying something. i loved the beginning. really set the mood for what was happening. then you get in to the murder of the family, building more and more suspense. this was great and throughout the verse kept me wanting more. mechanically this was solid. overall i feel like you really killed this verse.

    omega-
    I yearn to know his anima, to gallop in his corral as a majestic steed.
    But, yet I keep distance, a skeptic’s heed, hesitant to bring him next to me.
    But, my eclectic needs are united under his soft complexion’s sheen,
    so, every Sunday I build castles in the air, as he trots so heaven-ly.


    i absolutely loved this section here. i also liked the way you tied in all four of the pictures you used. however, while i felt your rhyme schemes were superior in this battle,i felt as though your story overall fell short of coups. at times i started getting bored, and felt like there was too much going on. idunno. i jus had to force myself to stay in this one.


    vote- coup
    test
  9. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2011
    Messages:
    736
    coup- the story didn't leave me feeling like i read something new to me.. however, thought the story line was one i've heard/read before, it was still captivating. it read real smooth and kept me reading on, you did a great job at that. there wasn't really a part that jarred me and distanced me from the story.

    omega- nice rhymes man.. the lines in the beginning felt a little drawn out though and made it feel a bit clunky, if that makes any sense.. this line stood out to me over everything else, don't know why, it just did haha..
    "An unbreakable curse, unmistakable burn, as I ache and I yearn
    for arrays of memories from first date until when we both lay caked in an urn"

    this is a hard choice... i have a greater appreciation for omega's verse... but coup's verse really sucked me in.... but i'm going to have to give this one to...

    v- Coup
    test
  10. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,356
    Rather difficult.

    Coup - really great verse from start to finish. creative use of 2nd person to give us the doomed prisoner, and so graphic yet powerful in detail and description. solid scheme from top to bottom, really no complaints to this verse

    Omega - there is so much here! that said I do not like the beginning. It just sat there and didn't bring me in. 2nd stanza forward was much more crisp and detailed. damn it I still am not 100 percent sure what happened, which is cool, i sensed death and loss and really looked for the tense change like you said. i like the use of the different pics as that was real creative, basically i struggled with trying to understand if the narrator he/she was dead already or not.. i like the verse its like an intricate puzzle

    Vote-Coup's story was really smart and a fresh take on a somewhat familiar narrative with great rhyme scheme and detail matching Omega. Omega's vocab and poetry are really spectacular, but I feel structure wise it could have been brought home more forcefully.
    test
  11. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
    Messages:
    24,097
    Coup: WTF!? haha this was so entertaining, mechanics where there, Flow wasn't immaculate but the plot was DEEP.. I liked how you tied to many end time idea's into this piece and yet kept it "secular" in essence. which made it's appeal more applicable. nothing against GOD or anything.. sorta abrupt ending but that also added to the mood.

    Omega: man!! DOPE LINES GREAT FLOW's .. U definitely used some huge words. some i didn't understand which distracted the read. but the story line was very intricate. very progressing.. i felt the build to the climax was so profound that it took away from the climax in essence. Great Job omega. try to keep this in mind for next week. make it a little more simplified. turn it into a commercial.. b/c 64bar's isnt enough to detail a story but it's enough to put it into a "commercial" type narration.

    vote: Coup

    close call imo.
    test
  12. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
    Messages:
    24,097
    Coup 4 - Omega - 0
    test
  13. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203
    Coup wins 4-0
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)