[Week 38] 5. T.a.C(3-3) vs 6. Lyricalpriest(1-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, May 16, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
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  2. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
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    tac's gonna cheat i already have inside sources that tell me this.. :)
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  3. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
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    Comfort My Soul

    By:LyricalPriest

    My names Shane I hold a heavy burden of shame
    I felt a change like a strain on my brain
    it ran deep in my vein's I will never be the same
    ever since that day, pain:....took all of my faith away
    a tainted picture painted ..overcast shaddow'd with-in the haze
    on the fringes of society singed within side of me
    images begin to vividly flash wildly in a variety
    but it's hard to make sense of it all
    whom i pretendin'2 call while I keep pending a fall
    but its not my intentions at all I don't mean to question u god!
    but u ain't shown intervention at all!! these lesson's are hard!
    depressin and all... please lessen it or breath death in me lord!
    to cease livin' would be better then barely existing
    who am I kiddin'?? death ..still wouldn't release me from this POSITION
    were given this divinity vision it's infinity within
    you think it serendipity it isn't it's PRISON
    we can't get out no matter where we go we are still restricted
    pistol rape me JUST BERATE me commemorate me as long as you
    liberate me & alleviate me of this evil place please!
    To many catches:
    the fine print is lucidly sketched with out to many exits.
    and the roomiest entrance
    I come to find it's designed to blind the mind with emotional crisis
    it'll cost you your life and your life it cost's priceless
    it doesn't make sense but it's nature is mindless and it's timeless
    how time, just: will ravage you, leave you spineless all for a reason
    please don't tell me the reason's to find it I don't believe it.
    the reason I'm sick is because I'm sick! time to do the Heimlich
    and save my life quick call a doctor it's hard to breath in here
    with all this vodka and all this ganja, baby mama drama
    I need to talk to the Dali Lama Muhammad or Allah or Christ the father
    and ask them to rescue me from all of these problems
    how could I possibly solve em they keep constantly evolving
    I'm a theist so god I keep constantly callin but he be compulsively stallin
    so I be mostly free fallin' holy be all them but I'm still convulsing and
    crawling growing and spawning mostly the garbage
    because I've been thrown to the bottom

    **at the bottom of the metaphorical catacombs of pain Shane find's a message**
    **inscribe near the window pane that look's upon an underground eternal flame.**


    “ I don’t have to keep to the darkness. It sticks to me. It clings to me.
    It follows me. It performs my every whim. You, you may love the darkness.
    But the darkness, it loves me"


    Hell exists here lord this despair is enough to rip/tear any man in half with this fear
    how couldn't you just care, enough to lift me from out of this.. abyss here?
    I Feel I belong to be soaring amongst eagles' instead I'm warring against evils
    Please Lord I'm begging you To Comfort my Soul, I give you Utter control just
    help give me something to hold onto to give me a seed the size of mustard of hope

    A voice Spoke:

    I know you feel alone.. But "I will never leave you or forsake you"(Heb.13:5)
    @ time's you beat your self down, and treat your self as you aren't smart enough.
    "I will give you wisdom" (ICor.1:30)
    Your always worried frustrated and timid..
    "Cast all your cares on me"(I peter 5:7)
    Tho you walk thru the valley of death and your afraid "I have not given you the spirit
    of fear" (II Tim 1:7)

    Truth is I care ..
    And when thing's get to hard to manage here.."I will supply your needs"(Phil 4:19)
    and your burden I'll Bear..
    I know you can't forgive your self, for doubting me insurmountably but..
    "I forgive you" (Rom 8:1)
    Don't listen to that voice in you saying it isn't worth it
    "it will be worth it"(rom 8:28)
    Don't be a stranger, entangled with demon's an angels You might not feel capable
    but "I am ABLE" (II Cor. 9:8)
    and that voice inside that Tell's you I hate you is a fable "I love you" (John 3:16)
    and there's nothing you can't do ... "I will direct your steps" (prov 3:5-6)
    "my grace is sufficient" (Psalms 91:15) "You can do ALL THINGS" (Phil 4:13)
    "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE" (Luke 18:27)
    you got to look at the hard thing's
    as merely an obstacle. To win the race. You have to Cross the FINISH LINE
    before victory laps can be involved
    "The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come
    to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time
    and chance happen to them all."

    Son I hope that Comfort's your soul..
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  4. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    test
  5. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    half assed. i gotta study and was busy this week.



    There I am, knife in hand, over my wife I stand
    She’s pleading for her life, to my right’s a man
    Not a man, my son, well, he used to be
    Is he still? I couldn’t tell you truthfully
    But it’s not important, as I stab her once majestic eyelids
    I never hurt her before, what caused this domestic violence?
    Theres a dead man on the ground, stabbed to death
    He was told to leave, he refused, his last regret

    25 years, we’d been together for quite a while
    I’ve never seen prettier eyes or a brighter smile
    It was love at first sight, probably the worst type
    It’s called falling because that’s what it hurts like
    Before I met her my life was such a lonely one
    But from our Vegas wedding to the birth of our only son
    It was perfect, I was head over heels for this girl
    Now with my own son, I want everything right in his world
    Spoiled him rotten, coached his baseball team
    Supported him in everything, all of his small dreams
    He was my world, his smile was such a great sight
    And it was often just him and I, my wife worked late nights
    We’d do homework, eat, then read the stories he’d write
    Then I’d tuck him in, kiss his cheek and tell him sleep tight
    Even at the age when kids think their dads a “lame-o”
    He choose to stay home to hang with me, we remained close
    We would go on vacation, my wife could never leave work
    And when she was home, bitches and moans is all we heard
    I gave him advice on the problems that all came
    And was the loudest in the crowd during his football games
    Then it came time for college, all part of being grown
    He went away, meaning that he would leave me alone

    He was home from school for his 20th birthday
    I was happy, because I had missed him in the worst way
    We threw him a huge party, people came in a stampede
    My house was full of his high school friends and family
    My wife came late, and arrived with a man
    I never seen before, a twist that isn’t planned
    After dinner, she stands up and says “I feel bothered
    For twenty years, son, you didn’t know of your real father”
    My jaw dropped, I had no clue of her scam
    He stands up, as my once love introduced the man
    My rage building up, you know the dramas starting then
    I threw everyone out of my house, making the party end

    There I am, knife in hand, over my wife I stand
    She’s pleading for her life, to my right’s a man
    Not a man, my son, well, he used to be
    Is he still? I couldn’t tell you truthfully
    But it’s not important, as I stab her once majestic eyelids
    I never hurt her before, what caused this domestic violence?
    Theres a dead man on the ground, stabbed to death
    He was told to leave, he refused, his last regret
    My “son” stabbed him in the throat and didn’t feel bad
    Screamed out “you were never around, you aren’t my real dad”
    Then he handed me the knife, anger has both of us drunk as fuck
    He threw my wife down and told me to “cut the cunt”
    I follow his lead, knife to the throat and her nights done
    Well, you know what they say, like father, like son

    Topic: It’s not yours
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  7. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
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    Fuck this is impossible


    Lyrical - What a great verse. Your multis and flow in the first part were really stupendous. You brought his pain to the forefront with each line. You embedded the quote very creatively. And the last part was just soo cool, it lacked the flow from earlier but it brought a POWERFUL message and you weaved it in so nicely

    Tac - If you half assed, i dont want to see a real try lol this was one of your best verses I have read on here, it was funny, sad, sick and twisted, up and down just creative fire to it, just a stellar verse.

    Vote -Lyrical Priest imma go with Priest cuz his it really woke me up, TaC's verse is amazing though so this could go eitherway
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  8. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
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    Priest: overall a nice read. one thing i look out for when people do multi's is if they did it just for the sake of doing it, when a line could've been stronger without it, but you used them well. using the bible verses at the end was dope too and not the easiest thing to do.

    TaC: this doesnt sound half-assed at all haha.. i like how you ended it with "like father like son." kid isn't really his son, but he raised him and all that.. you developed these characters pretty.. efficiently haha.. i got a feel for them pretty quickly into the verse.

    this is pretty tough.. butt.. i'm gonna go with Priest on this one. i really can't break it down other than i liked it a bit more haha.. it was more fleshed out to me.. plus, he has bible verses, so i feel like i'd be voting against the bible. jk

    vote: Priest
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  9. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
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    ok I'm voting on this battle because its an easy one...that's good.

    Young Pree: with so many Christian verses being a struggle to find a closer relationship to God, like this one, I feel it is often over done. They are lows at the rock bottom view, never in the glory of God. Nothing wrong but seen it 1000 times. A different angle, yes ?

    What held up was your flow. Normally there are many cases where your repetitive stress on a certain rhymes become redundant quick because they dominate the bars they are in. But with this piece, I felt none of that. It flowed with quick wit and the read was truly engaging. Only had to read this once.

    I like the biblical verses, that showed research. Oh, your first line was horriable. What a gimmick opener!


    TaC - from the writing alone this was a good verse. Nothing to deep, this wasn't a drama but a prelude to a slasher flick. Thing is, this genera is an old hat. Plus it's no longer possible to shock people today, we've become to desensitized. With that said, I thought you could have explored this very scenario in a different light.

    Good plot devices and mechanics. This was a well written piece.


    V LP
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  10. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
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    LP, that shit did not comfort my soul, if anything it made it feel less than. Any way, this seems like a keystyle, just massive brainstorming that you laid out there. The shits good, but its just all over the place, I like it though, it gives it style with the whole disarray and then order towards the end intended to COMFORT my soul. However, Mr. LP, I don't see the story...where'd it go?

    TaC, this shit is insane LOL I laugh on this part,

    "Then he handed me the knife, anger has both of us drunk as fuck
    He threw my wife down and told me to “cut the cunt”

    That's some violent shit homie. Its really kind of hard to believe its so violent hahaha. Any way good story and twist. I did not expect the woman to say real father when she brought him to the party. I thought for sure it was just going to be a friend or co-worker she was probably fucking. But now that I look back I can see the foreshadowing leading up to that twist. Good story TaC.

    Vote TaC, better story and easier to follow.
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  11. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
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    LP
    Good story LP, a lot of work and research.
    Rhymes were good, mostly.
    a couple that doubled up but this didn’t take from the story
    your flow was smooth
    just a little note with my crappy eyes I found it hard to read the small print in read so that made me have to work harder
    nice work

    Tac
    I liked this one , it is a Good strong story.
    Smooth rhymes from start to finish
    Easy read for me and follow
    The imagery was strong and clear
    The flow was smooth and nice
    Good read

    I found tac’s easier for me to read and take in
    Vote tac
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  12. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    lp:
    Line of the week "you think it serendipity it isn't it's PRISON" real nice.. This story progressed smoothly dude, your ability to deliver a story is smoother now its not all disjointed.. I like all the bible passages, i did something similar awhile back with the quran though you did need more rhymes towards the end.. Still sweet verse dude..

    tac:
    hey nice loved the twist, i didnt even see it coming which was strange for me which means you done a real nice job dude.. Mechanics all where fine and the delivery of the story and the message behind it all is what stood out.. Im glad you showed..

    vote = tac

    he had a better story imo.. unbelievable close though.. top match..
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  13. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    LP - This was a good piece of work here. The rhymes were solid and the flow and vocab were on point. The story was nice here as well. I thought the bible verses at the end were a bit much but it was still nice. I did think that you could have used a few comas in there to help with this. IMO, when it comes to biblical stories, comas make a lot of difference especially since not having one can alter the context of the verse. Same with this kind of verse. Still, this was a solid story and one of your better piece of work. good work



    T.a.C - Impressive story man. This is your best work. You took your time and developed a nice story that moved at a nice pace and most important, was entertaining. You kept me in suspense for most of the story and once you introduced the other man, i knew exactly what was going on. Good work here man. Your mechanics were rock solid and you took my advice and didn't harp too heavily on the rhyme so as to bog it down. Good work here man


    This was very close to me. Both stories were nice and the mechanics were about even. I believe that T.a.C's story was just more entertaining for me. Classic matchup guys...BOTW so far!


    V/ T.a.C
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  14. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    T.a.C up 4-3
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  15. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    T.a.C wins 4-3
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