[Week 33] [Champ] C. Cereal_Killer(10-2) vs 2. Fairydance2000(9-2)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Apr 11, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]
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    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
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    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
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    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

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    extension please
    test
  3. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    test
  4. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    The Circle of Life
    ..
    1975
    Aborted and dumped where the rats riddle the rocks, I’m lost
    Under the docks, beneath a peach skyline as my fetus rots
    Seething as ticks unite around the crown of my head
    Waves surround my bed in a forgotten town of neglect
    I want to drown but instead I lie bound where I rest
    I can’t crawl as the squall blocks out my murmurs of breath
    Death is certain as the heat from my body disappears
    Ten minutes old and I’ve already felt pain beyond my years
    I fear nothing as I look to the shore and scream
    Torn in dreams of this morgue being my forefront for peace
    I accept it, that yes I will die and I won’t be afraid
    Not one single minute can I change so I accept all this pain
    As the rodents run past old fishing wire and lures
    I’m surrounded by a placenta trying to maneuver
    I roll off the rocks, cut and bleeding to death
    When a passing fisherman scoops me up to his chest
    He wraps me in his coat to comfort me we with warmth
    It works; I’m hurt as my savior opened his vans door
    I watch the shore in the distance as my grave starts to fade
    Knowing I beat death as I get the ticks burnt off my face
    ..
    2001
    I lie next to my husband with a smile nestled in
    I’m eight months pregnant with our baby twins
    I’m feeling fatigued but nothing is unusual there
    With headaches and a fever that are too much to bear
    But still I won’t share these feelings as I purge in the sink
    I cough up blood as my eyes get heavier with each blink
    I hold my belly as the kicks start to become violent
    My husband calls up the hospital and I wait for the sirens
    I get rushed in on a stretcher as start to bleed out
    The doctors prop my legs up and then they reach down
    My breath sounds hectic as the fever gets worse
    I hurt inside about to have a premature birth
    The doctors take my blood and check my pressure
    The nurse asks questions as death has me measured
    “How long have you had Lyme Disease because it’s fatal”
    I’ve been labeled to die stopping me from being neonatal
    The doctor’s pull out a scalpel and cuts a c-section
    As my chest tightens and my mind starts racing
    I had fought for this long but I now choke on my vomit
    Looking my twins in the eyes as they get pulled from my stomach
    ..​

    Topic: You can’t beat death twice
    test
  5. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]


    I can't help it!
    Darkness drifts in. the wind howls through the streets
    No others around. No tasty sweets
    Life isn’t that easy for people like us,
    No real friends no such thing as trust
    Clothes all ragged bloody and torn
    No one to hold us keep us safe from the storm
    The storm that is coming I can smell it in the air
    Electricity swirling dead eyes a constant stare.
    But where is it we go to when we feel down?
    To the next village to the next town
    It’s never as easy as TV makes it seem
    Appear from nowhere. Walking around in a dream.
    We hide in the shadows and sleep in the day
    Always looking for food, a human to slay
    It’s not that we want to it’s a need we must fill
    Food is our motive and for that we must kill
    How do we feel when we are tracked down?
    Shot in the head and dragged to the ground
    Blood gushing! old flesh just hanging on
    One more shot to the head! Another one of us gone
    We didn’t ask to be here. It was thrust upon us
    So we do what we have to with no power to suppress
    the urges that drive us to feed at night.
    That pulls us to the darkened streets and March in clear sight
    Knowing you are out there ready to retaliate
    Like a church meeting you gather and congregate
    Your weapons are fast and have a lethal kick
    But so is our bite, the poison works quick
    If you manage to escape from our deadly clutches
    One scratch, one bite whatever our blood touches
    And you will be added to the list of night walkers
    You will march with us. And perpetuate the slaughters
    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    CK- i really liked this verse. we each used the same topic and our themes are actually pretty similar. i liked how(well i guess it sounds morbid to say i liked it) the story started with her being left for dead shortly after birth, then ended up dying giving birth. also the recurrence of lyme disease. at first i didnt like that until i looked it up and realized you can go a long time with lyme and not know it. when i saw 2001 i assumed it was going to be 9/11 related, so that was a small surprise for me. the detail was great, giving a good visual of being under the dock. overall this was a great verse.

    Fairy: i looked at the pic you used before reading the verse and wasnt really sure what it was. i didnt see the guy in the background or the hand, jus the guy with blood coming out of his head. after reading the verse though it all makes sense. the descriptiveness of this was great. that was what really drew me in to this verse. i would have liked had there been more of a story to this though. the verse seemed pretty short, and left me wanting more to it.

    vote- gotta give it to CK, but goddamn this was a good matchup.
    test
  7. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

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    test
  8. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
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    1,356
    This was solid

    CK - Verse was very descriptive, and I like how she was aborted and what not and almost died only to have her own kids kill her with their lives, almost like a reversal and the natural coming back to claim what belongs to it, if you believe in that sort of thing. The beginning was pretty gruesome, but the whole thing seemed kind of dark and unfair to me.

    In terms of mechanics, I think your previous two verses were more crisp than this, but very emotional and strong verse here.

    Fairydancer - imaginative perspective in this verse that really goes deeper and explores the picture well. The flow was consistent, but the story was a bit short and I would have liked to see some more development like you usually give us

    Vote-CK
    test
  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
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    CK - This was some final destination kind of story. I liked the amount of detail here. I wondered where you were going with this because i didn't read you topic til the end. I really like how you ended it. The first section left you hanging about how she ended up where she was but the second death made it clear that death was after her. This was a sad story but well written. Nicely done



    Fairy - Nice zombie topic here. I enjoyed this. I would have liked to know it started but still a good story. One thing you should start to do is utilize periods. Make the read feel the suspense and pausing where you want them to. Your story was clear and easy to follow. I really enjoyed this.


    This was a good matchup. I really like both stories. CK's story had more to it than Fairy's and although both were written well, i think CK had the better of the two verses. good job guys. i really enjoyed this


    V/ CK
    test
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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