[Week 30] [Champ] C. Cereal_Killer(7-2) vs 2. Fairydance2000(7-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 se
    ed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,146
    Reflections
    ..
    To define beauty is the fine attraction from natural selection
    The actual growth that changes with impact once detected
    A fact that we reject what is unneeded to propel
    As we feed on our PRIDE in seeds sent from hell

    ..
    [​IMG]
    ..
    August 5 – 1945
    With the sky Maya Blue the only reflection is truth
    Whilst I pull a bull by its noose and get moved by the smew’s
    The music of life is a conducted symphony by grace
    My wife a porcelain doll with a washi paper face
    Squashing sea slugs my son stands with his hands on his hips
    His strong will matches his figure, so physically fit
    One day he will graze cattle like his father’s father
    Born in to strength like a martyred Spartan
    Cartwheel, laughing my daughter is an Empiricist
    With emerald eyes she captures life with each sentence
    So delicate and pure an Ikebana in bloom
    Too soon she will grow up and outshine the moon
    In unity we stand before a world of wonder
    My family unaware of the attack we’re under
    A nuclear bomb hit in the midst of Nagasaki
    But WHY
    Is the fallen words that my son has asked me
    ..
    August 25 – 1945
    Small groups have gathered in the community homes
    Whilst my family and I reside inside a relatives abode
    Most walk around in face masks drowning in questions
    Infected, living in hell as the devils little peasants
    Resistant at first but after a few long weeks
    I can see that from here it’s too late to retreat
    The damage is done as I look down to my son
    His muscles are dragging from the radiation
    My wife’s face is torn and melting more each day
    My girls emerald eyes have now faded to grey
    Her voice is now silent from the violence that smashed
    The very existence we had before the mushroom cloud ash
    We having nothing left as our skin burns in this heat
    How can we live on when everything I see bleeds
    Perhaps we deserved it I think as I cook up a storm
    I place cyanide inside the broth n stir until it absorbs
    I sit before my family as I see my reflection in the eyes of my son
    I’m not mad at the monster that changed me
    I’m mad at the monster I have become
    ..
    The End​
    test
  3. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
    284
    BLOOD OATH

    PANDORA'S BOX
    Bikers are a proud bunch. They swear an oath for life
    They ride in groups, wear their patches. A blend of mayhem and strife
    More like brothers from different mothers. They all live by a code
    "Death before dishonor" as the bikes roar down the road.
    Meeting weekly at the club house. Drugs booze and whores.
    Every month they raise some funds by opening up their doors.
    A live band playing out the back. With a full buffet meal.
    Open fires burning. Topless dancers. Another shady deal!
    He’s a Carpenter by the light of day, gangster on the bike.
    He would shot you dead without delay; you don’t know what he’s like.
    Late one Tuesday afternoon, while returning from the store
    I saw bikes lined up in a row. Banditos at the door
    Why where they gathering here? in our part of town
    Was it a takeover? Are they here to bring us down?
    They headed towards the club house, with a mission on their mind
    To start a feud with other clubs and trouble of any kind
    By the time I arrived, some crazy shit was going down
    My husband’s body was mangled lying dead there on the ground
    A single shoot from a rivals gun, took his life away.
    I would make them sorry for what they have done, I would make them pay.
    People screaming, guns firing, bedlam all around
    Blood pouring, fire soaring, house burnt to the ground
    Police sirens, getting closer. Bikers start to scatter
    Clutching his body close to me, being busted didn’t matter
    Brothers in your colors unite like a hive of killer bees
    People will die tonight! With animal expertise
    Everything so surreal like a twisted dream
    Thoughts spinning like a top. My eyes are a laser beam
    Scanning every person looking at every bike
    I have my own perversion, killing is what I like
    A pass I left behind me it was many year ago
    I know who opened Pandora’s Box my rage about to overflow
    I saw that mother fucker, and sure he would soon be dead.
    I raised my gun pulled the trigger shot him straight through his head.
    Blood spewing out of him! straight up in the air.
    People all around, but I didn’t even care.
    I dragged his blood drenched body up to the front door
    I wanted them to smell the stench! There are no prisoners of war!
    I Silence my mind, my thoughts are clear as a bell.
    They have awoken the devil in me and I will deliver all of them to hell
    Though a small women, who looks innocent and sweet.
    I could rip your heart out in an instant and throw it at your feet,
    My planning is deliberate. Calculated and precise.
    When I start this clock a ticking I don’t need to do it twice.
    I will eliminate each and every one of them. And their loved ones too
    What I am feeling now is nothing to what I will put them through
    Their loved ones can weep at their grave side and know a speck of my pain
    As my plan gathers momentum more and more of them are slain
    At first it was an eye for an eye, the way a turf war is won
    Till now it is die die, the body count has just begun.
    12 months later to the day and not a bandito left in sight
    All of them and their families vanished, to my twisted delight.
    It won’t bring my husband back. It won’t make it right!
    Inside my heart is jet black only he could see its light!
    test
  4. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,356
    Wow what a good battle!!

    CK - I realy like how concise your story is, and how smooth your internal rhyme goes. The contrast between the family portrait in just 20 short days was so stark! Very descriptive and some nice insight into an element of history not many people look up into. Negatives I saw were, I wanted to see more development of the main character and maybe a bit of detail as they see the bright flash and get engulfed by the blast. The detail in the second half was so gory and right on that it was kind of a shock and I felt it didnt have to be. Ending makes a lot of sense tho.

    Fairy- Very interesting verse. I like your attention to detail and how your story progressed. I think its so cool that your heroine is this total badass, we dont see enough of that, so that was different and fresh. Negatives, I found it real hard to believe that this bad ass biker chick would have married such a wuss husband. I mean One shot dude? Come on he could have fought it out a little more bravely you know. Also, sometimes it feels like you use more words than necessary. But again I love the details and attention to emotion and clarity

    Vote - Cereal Killa because I liked both verses, each is pretty unique, but I think CK really gave a twist to the topic plus match Fairy in technical aspects of flow and imagery.

    Thanks
    test
  5. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
    284
    VOTES here...... LOL

    my votes go to everyone that posted lol.
    and i would like to take this opportunity to once again thank all the people who took the time to read our verses and vote.

    thank you....(you know who you are)
    test
  6. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    404
    Cereal - Wow, i loved it, the wording was perfection & the flow was on fire. I liked how
    direct it seemed because ive seen a lot of verses like this where people will just tend
    to go too much into it & it gets boring, but i think you took the event and made it your
    own, great job.

    My wife’s face is torn and melting more each day
    My girls emerald eyes have now faded to grey
    Her voice is now silent from the violence that smashed
    The very existence we had before the mushroom cloud ash


    really liked this segiment :)


    Fairy - Once again another fantastic verse. I liked how violent it was, dont think ive seen
    many pieces from you like this one, it worked well, obviously a total diffrenet approach
    than Cereals verse, as yours seemed more story like, you have made this very hard to decide my vote.

    Brothers in your colors unite like a hive of killer bees
    People will die tonight! With animal expertise
    Everything so surreal like a twisted dream
    Thoughts spinning like a top. My eyes are a laser beam

    Nice :)

    Well i could easyly vote for either of you, but in this instance my vote goes to CK, i just found his verse a tad more enjoyable, i dont like having to choose a winner but obviously
    i have too.

    Vote Cereal Killer .
    test
  7. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,692
    CK - Incredible verse CK, I was impressed most by the wording. You put things so delicate that it makes things so easy to read. The pace was good and the imagery was impressive. You took a difficult topic and made it seem natural. I like this a lot man...Good work

    Fave line -
    "So delicate and pure an Ikebana in bloom
    Too soon she will grow up and outshine the moon
    In unity we stand before a world of wonder
    My family unaware of the attack we’re under"


    Fairy - Excellent story. I really enjoyed the amount of detail you put into it. I am a person who love detail in their story telling and for you to tell the story the way you did was refreshing. You imagery was great and the pace of your story was smooth. I liked how you took a chance with the story and wrote a little bit outside of your comfort zone. I do enjoy stories from female points of view because they tend to have more emotion than normal. Good story


    Fave line -
    "People screaming, guns firing, bedlam all around
    Blood pouring, fire soaring, house burnt to the ground
    Police sirens, getting closer. Bikers start to scatter
    Clutching his body close to me, being busted didn’t matter"


    Overall a great matchup. Ck's verse was probably better written and Fairy's story was more appealing to me. However, CK's story was also enjoyable and CK's verse was a bit more powerful with his wording here and that is what carried him to my vote. Fairy, chose you wording carefully. I'm not saying your verse wasn't worded properly. When compared to CK, it just didn't care the impact...Still a close and impressive story by both

    V/ CK
    test
  8. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,692
    CK up 2 to -1
    test
  9. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,208
    CK wins 2 to -1
    test
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