[Week 24] 11. TopicalSolution(0-0) vs 12. BLACK ATTICUS(3-3) vs 13. DetyStryque(0-3)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Feb 7, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSES
    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match and labeling the CHAMP and CONTENDER respectively!!!
    •Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. TopicalSolution

    TopicalSolution Devoid of Demeanor

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2011
    Messages:
    7
    test
  3. TopicalSolution

    TopicalSolution Devoid of Demeanor

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2011
    Messages:
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    [​IMG]

    Majick and the Movement of Clouds

    When I was a boy who looked to the sky
    and heard thunder, I thought the giants
    who lived far above must be hungry to
    finally rise from their slumber. And with
    every deep growl and earth-shaking groan
    I thought that the giant's tummy had grumbled.
    Their chairs being dragged, the waiter's stampeding
    and the sky above me continued to moan.

    When I was a boy who looked to the sky
    and felt my hair tossed by a blast of the wind.
    I smiled and pictured a giant afeast,
    mighty and strong, wearing a bib. Firmly I planted
    my feet to the ground, while the wind around me
    tossed trees into ruin. I pictured that poor giant
    there at his table, with a bowl of hot soup,
    blowing his spoon.

    When I was a boy who looked to the sky
    and felt the rain torrent onto my face.
    I sighed and went back inside
    because the giant's above me were all salivating.
    Mouth-watering mutton on spits still steaming -
    and I'm down here feeling the dribble of giants.
    While the sky still rumbled - oh god! now look!
    See how the slobber has formed into puddles!

    When I was a boy who looked to the sky
    and saw a mighty strike come, splitting in light!
    I ran like the wind howls because I had learned
    to fear that gigantic appetite. The ground was still
    groaning, the sky was still moaning, the giants still
    dribbled and the clouds still squirt. And under this madness
    I ran like the wind, because lightning's a fork sent for
    sweet, sweet desert.

    But that doesn't happen these days it appears.
    The giants have gone from the clouds, disappeared.
    For mischief and majick and fables do die,
    When young boys and young girls no longer look to the sky.
    test
  4. BLACK ATTICUS

    BLACK ATTICUS An Actual Show Rocka!!

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2010
    Messages:
    344

    I've been binging on the brims of life amongst men
    from nights of dusk end, starlights n' french fringe,
    corsets, wildwest, gold belts and mink hems,
    T'was 'fore this skin let years sink in,
    I'd cut hair short n' sport around like men,
    I'd down a quart a' gin, then walk around n' grin,
    Used to live like the wind, a rare find, a gem,
    cause all the other women in town would 'woo men',
    like two hens chasin' the roost; i stewed in,
    the ways of a rebel; was settled by new whims,
    to never settle again, nor carry on and spend,
    'my live long days' in a damn cotton gin!,
    My father's name was Jim, he hooked fish by fins,
    N' sold 'em off til ends agreed to meet like friends,
    N' Momma was as thin n' silent as the limbs
    that bend along horizons and sillhouette thier sins,
    Savanna mornings depend on God to get 'em started,
    and I was well within the realms of the taint hearted;
    the grim n' skank scarlette apostles of life's hostil,
    cause both parents died paying tidthes to a bottle,
    I lived my life in brothels and dealt with types so hostile,
    I found myself fancied to fightin' more then coddled,
    They called me 'Whoar of Gargoyle: As Hard as a Floor of Marble,
    I'd leave a man startled n' punch him right out his bar stool,
    Eventually the art grew into a thing of marvel,
    The madaam said; 'we're losing cash; dear, have to bar you'
    after that, i hit the mat and traveled out so far you,
    simply won't believe this Gem-of-Eve had to,
    Do, just to make it: some would pay, some would take it,
    Some left me in cold dark forest, stark-naked,
    In my soul couldn't shake it, N'eventually i hated,
    all towns, all folks, all hope was foresaken, til
    I met a man, Jacob, his gentle hands favored,
    he savored all i was, gave me love n' it made it,
    much easier to live, spoke of marriage, spoke of kids,
    Til a man from my past shot Jacob in the ribs,
    with a 12 gauge shot gun, coming for revenge,
    stepped on the porch n' said he intends,
    to clear his name of the shame I'd singed
    Back when he came to the bar with Jim,
    Jethro, Greives, and the Harlon twins,
    Robbing those trains was a game for them,
    so they laughed real hard when I scarred his chin,
    At the bar cause the lard tried to short me ten!
    So he's on his ends trynna make amends
    with a thought process all lost to wind;
    and I'm caught again, with the dark within...
    The shot rang out; my heart begins,
    to chant that song of a harkened hymned;
    in the ranks when the saints start marching-in,
    I awaken to a face cheeks graced, and then,
    "nana you been hummin in ya sleep again"
    [​IMG]
    test
  5. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2008
    Messages:
    2,070
    Need a extra day guys.Pullin a double at work tonight.
    test
  6. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
    284
    Topical solution
    After reading your verse I was left feeling a little confused. As to the real connection to the pic, I guess it was the clouds, but I could be wrong.
    I tried reading it several different ways and still was unable to find the flow.
    I even tried singing it, but that didn’t work either.
    It had good imagery as far as the storm went but then I was so lost in looking for the rhythm and flow
    That I didn’t hold the image for long!
    I read this piece about 8 times and each time I came to the same conclusion, that I was confused. Is it just me or should there be rhymes in there?

    Black atticus

    Firstly the pic was a nice match to your storey.
    The imagery was very clear and creative.
    Over all the flow was smooth. Even though I felt it went off a little. But was quickly regained.
    The storey was nicely told. Some good rhythms throughout the piece
    I liked this storey, it was different.
    I read it several times, and I enjoyed it more each time I read it. Because the imagery was much more intense.
    Vote black atticus
    test
  7. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2008
    Messages:
    2,070
    Really sorry I missed this one,I really had a blazin idea of for the MARTIAL ARTS topic.Damn.I'm going to seriously start writing my stuff a day or so before the event,instead of keystyling it up on the spot.
    test
  8. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
    Messages:
    24,093
    topical- wow you verse was great, really great, too bad you chose to make ur verse about a boy, bc the picture has a girl in it, so that reallllllly took away from ur verse, ad the fact that the girl looks triumphantly gazing at the sky also discredit's the last mentions of your verse, but none the less, very effective creative story, very imaginative, very children book worthy.. no offense..

    black- wow, great wording, great flow, description all that bundled up into a proper fag.. haha, u know what i mean, that story was very properly narrated. evoking emotin, and depth. great ending also.. very poetic an beautiful

    two awesome verses i hate to vote either way bc both writers seem so deserving

    but ima go with

    black atticus on this one, seein that the picture realllllly related with the story where-as my gripes towards topical are previously stated..

    \vote -black
    test
  9. BLACK ATTICUS

    BLACK ATTICUS An Actual Show Rocka!!

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2010
    Messages:
    344
    test
  10. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2011
    Messages:
    7,040
    Both verses were great, and I'm not just saying that. I've got to edge it to Black, I thought his story was slightly better and Topical didn'tuse his picture very well. Hate to give it either way, neither of you deserve a loss for this battle since you both came hard.

    Vote: BlackAtticus
    test
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Trop - I really like how you did this. It read just like a kids storybook and it made me smile. I thought flow was great. the rhymes were good and the imagery was impressive. I liked this. I don't have anything bad to say about this really. Good work

    Fave line -
    "because the giant's above me were all salivating.
    Mouth-watering mutton on spits still steaming -
    and I'm down here feeling the dribble of giants.
    While the sky still rumbled - oh god! now look!
    See how the slobber has formed into puddles!"


    Black - lol i thought the same thing as you, I was hoping you would take the same angle i did and you didn't and that made me smile. The rhymes in here were great. I really liked how this flowed and the story was great. I found it catchy and was just a real nice read. good work here Black

    Fave line -
    "I'd cut hair short n' sport around like men,
    I'd down a quart a' gin, then walk around n' grin,
    Used to live like the wind, a rare find, a gem,
    cause all the other women in town would 'woo men',"


    Overall a pretty nice read. Both writers did great jobs here. I was impressed by Top and hope he keeps posting. Still i have to give this to Black. his verse was just more impressive to me and entertained me more

    V/ Black
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  12. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Black up 2 to -3
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  13. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    black wins 2 to -3
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